Me and my Wife

[trevorlawrence]

Hi All,

My wife and I have been having some marrital problems lately. She feels that I am not showing her enough effection and love. My defense was I was always making sure that the cleaning and housework was done before she arrived home from work so that she would not have to worry about it after working a long 10 hour day at work. Then I realized that I was going about it in a way that she didnt recocnize that I was showing her love in doing this. So, lately I have been trying to tell her how much I love her and want to work things out because she felt that we werent getting anywhere in our marriage and was considering leaving. We have been talking about alot of things lately and at first I felt like she was pushing me away until last night when she told me that she loved me for the first time in quite a while. That made me feel great, but, and this is big, she recieves numerous text messages on her phone and this was nothing uncommon for her but all of a sudden all of these messages were a seccret. Its not that I didnt know who the messages were coming from it was the fact that I felt she was hidding something from me. So this morining I woke up early and looked at the messages on her phone. This was unable to happen in the past because any other time I looked the inbox and outbox would be empty. Now I realized that this was wrong because I was snooping but it just didnt make any since she had never hidden anything from me before. Also I did this while she was sleeping cause I figured this was the only time to look. Anyway when I looked at the messages on the phone not to my surprise there were several messages. When I read the messages I felt deeply hurt cause it sounded to me like this person was trying to move in on my wife. So out of anger I woke her up and began to question her, which I also figured out was the wrong thing to do. Long story short we got into an argument about this and in the end I realized that everything was harmless and I had interpreted it all wrong. Now I am in quite a pickle. Just when we start to make progress I questioned my trust for my wife and before she left for work this morning she asked me how we were going to fix me questioning my trust. To my dismay I had no answer for her. Now not only is she hurt from past issues here is a nothier one that we must try to work through. The only problem is I dont know where to start.

 

[( . )( . )]

The only problem is I dont know where to start.

Phuck me dead your not the only one. Put some paragraphs in and reread that garbage.

 

[jophil28]

When I read the messages I felt deeply hurt cause it sounded to me like this person was trying to move in on my wife.

......I realized that everything was harmless and I had interpreted it all wrong.

Something is not right here.

How is it possible to interpret those messages in one way and then realize that you misinterpreted them wrongly? Was she getting texts from a male co-worker?
A flirty text message can hardly be misread as work related comms.

Are you taking her word for them being harmless ?

 

[jonwon]

Hi All,

My wife and I have been having some marrital problems lately. She feels that I am not showing her enough effection and love. My defense was I was always making sure that the cleaning and housework was done before she arrived home from work so that she would not have to worry about it after working a long 10 hour day at work. Then I realized that I was going about it in a way that she didnt recocnize that I was showing her love in doing this. So, lately I have been trying to tell her how much I love her and want to work things out because she felt that we werent getting anywhere in our marriage and was considering leaving. We have been talking about alot of things lately and at first I felt like she was pushing me away until last night when she told me that she loved me for the first time in quite a while. That made me feel great, but, and this is big, she recieves numerous text messages on her phone and this was nothing uncommon for her but all of a sudden all of these messages were a seccret. Its not that I didnt know who the messages were coming from it was the fact that I felt she was hidding something from me. So this morining I woke up early and looked at the messages on her phone. This was unable to happen in the past because any other time I looked the inbox and outbox would be empty. Now I realized that this was wrong because I was snooping but it just didnt make any since she had never hidden anything from me before. Also I did this while she was sleeping cause I figured this was the only time to look. Anyway when I looked at the messages on the phone not to my surprise there were several messages. When I read the messages I felt deeply hurt cause it sounded to me like this person was trying to move in on my wife. So out of anger I woke her up and began to question her, which I also figured out was the wrong thing to do. Long story short we got into an argument about this and in the end I realized that everything was harmless and I had interpreted it all wrong. Now I am in quite a pickle. Just when we start to make progress I questioned my trust for my wife and before she left for work this morning she asked me how we were going to fix me questioning my trust. To my dismay I had no answer for her. Now not only is she hurt from past issues here is a nothier one that we must try to work through. The only problem is I dont know where to start.

Seriously this was like hitting a brick wall, but I persisted.

In all honesty your problem is rather simple, your too nice!

Yep far too nice.

Cleaning the house to show you love her?

Simply put your a wussy, no offence intended, that is simply what you are.

Your nice guy wussy actions has probably made your wifes gina dry up faster then a rain drop in a dessert. Whilst your think your showing her your love, your doing nothing but letting her know your a spineless wuss bag, and women do not get excited for wuss*'s, it's that simple.

For starters, stop cleaning the house to make her happy, stop hanging off everyword she says, stop telling her how much you love her constantly.

Jesus Christ man your probably making her cringe with all the nice guy cra* your doing.

You need to get a reality check and realize how women tick and being the nice guy doormat, is detrimental to a relationship.

Though in all honesty, your at such a low level you'd need real hardcore mental programming reframing to change your ways, I doubt it will happen.

Your wife sounds like she is texting a guy with a ball sack, yes I feel you have a problem, one partly to do with your own making. You have reduced your wifes interest level by your wuss* actions and now your reaping the rewards.

This reply seems a little harsh, but harsh is what you need.

Women need a little excitment, they detest boring nice guys, which you are! Sorry your relationship is doomed, your nothing more then her bitc* toy, an emasculated puss& boy. I will say with 100 prediction your wife is at least thinking or sleeping with another guy, and you being her bitc* toy, will chuck your dummy about for a bit, then trust her, at that she has further entrenched you into being her bitc*, which she is doing now.

Enjoy.

This situation, to me is my idea of hell!

Edit- just wanted to add.

You clean the house because you want the house to be clean, not to get brownie points with the wife to make her love you more.

You tell your wife you love her because you mean it, not because your coming from a place of insecurity and you need re-affirmation that your wife loves you back.

Which results in you hanging off everyword like a dog waiting for the scraps from his owner.

The problem is your insecure, an insecure nice guy trying to manipulate his wife to show affection and love, when what you should be doing is focusing on your empire and allowing her to join you now and again.

I predict your a guy with little outside options hence your focusing all your attention onto your wife, get a hobby, get a life and do your own shi*, let her join your for the ride, or carry on and have your wife ride some other mans meat in no time at all. I believe she is activly persuing it already.

 

[zekko]

When women meet another man they are intrigued in, they will sometimes (consciously or unconsciously) start a fight with you. This is to indulge in her fantasy of being with this new man. She lays some groundwork for there being marital problems with you, which takes her one step toward ejecting, and she gets to tell the guy "Yeah, I'm married, but we're having problems".

This doesn't mean she will go through with it, like I said it's just a fantasy or indulgence for her. Doesn't mean she won't either, but she's just getting her toe wet.

I agree with the others it's impossible to see what's going on without knowing more about the content of the text messages. What you described seems kind of odd.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

TREVOR, I'll leave this thread on the Mature forum, but you need to post an age in your profile or I'll move it to the Discussions section.

Read the Mature Forum Rules.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Trevor,
Dear me you are in deep Poo Poo aren't you?So Milady to the Manor Born comes home with her silk glove on and rubs them around the tops of the picture frames and scolds you for not doing enough while she is out earning the bread?Worse than that you have not supplicated yourself in front of her at the front door so she can wipe her shoes on you?Trevor you are just being too nice...I am watching a similar story unfold just now...A friend has had his wife studying to become a Doctor for the last six years,it was agreed that he take over the housework and look after the kids,gave family money to get her training....So late last year she qualified,story is she went down to Melbourne for eight weeks,to do her internship,met another Man and they had a little fling....now the same story,my husband doesn't show me any affection,the lost money and time he has put into her training is forgotten,she is now never home...Trevor,your lady is up to no good,get ready to parachute out.The good news,you are the one who gets half the assets,even gets support well thats how it goes down under.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Spam!!!

TREVOR, I'll leave this thread on the Mature forum, but you need to post an age in your profile or I'll move it to the Discussions section.

Read the Mature Forum Rules.

I don't think spam-bots can post an age. (notice the sig link to the "debt help" crap)

I found the same post on three other forums. One site had deleted it already.

http://www.afrocentriconline.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=52411&sid=f8c9a2145cde4680289c55d736d38982

http://forums.families.com/i-questi...ter,t127752&p=990817&postid=990817#post990817

 

[Perfect10]

*Swish* sounds the whip.

Dude, grow a pair. You're acting like a housewife. Do you think it's attractive for a woman to have a housewife instead of a man?
Would you think it'd be attarctive if your wife would command you for beer whilst watching the superbowl in her dirty big grandma undies and loose shirt? Not taking a bath in a week smellin crap? Not shaving her legs or vag?
Belching and farting?
I guess not!

 

[909pua]

Hi All,

My wife and I have been having some marrital problems lately. She feels that I am not showing her enough effection and love. My defense was I was always making sure that the cleaning and housework was done before she arrived home from work so that she would not have to worry about it after working a long 10 hour day at work. Then I realized that I was going about it in a way that she didnt recocnize that I was showing her love in doing this. So, lately I have been trying to tell her how much I love her and want to work things out because she felt that we werent getting anywhere in our marriage and was considering leaving. We have been talking about alot of things lately and at first I felt like she was pushing me away until last night when she told me that she loved me for the first time in quite a while. That made me feel great, but, and this is big, she recieves numerous text messages on her phone and this was nothing uncommon for her but all of a sudden all of these messages were a seccret. Its not that I didnt know who the messages were coming from it was the fact that I felt she was hidding something from me. So this morining I woke up early and looked at the messages on her phone. This was unable to happen in the past because any other time I looked the inbox and outbox would be empty. Now I realized that this was wrong because I was snooping but it just didnt make any since she had never hidden anything from me before. Also I did this while she was sleeping cause I figured this was the only time to look. Anyway when I looked at the messages on the phone not to my surprise there were several messages. When I read the messages I felt deeply hurt cause it sounded to me like this person was trying to move in on my wife. So out of anger I woke her up and began to question her, which I also figured out was the wrong thing to do. Long story short we got into an argument about this and in the end I realized that everything was harmless and I had interpreted it all wrong. Now I am in quite a pickle. Just when we start to make progress I questioned my trust for my wife and before she left for work this morning she asked me how we were going to fix me questioning my trust. To my dismay I had no answer for her. Now not only is she hurt from past issues here is a nothier one that we must try to work through. The only problem is I dont know where to start.

hey dude, she is fvking this dude or might be the other way around or a mixture of both..don't trust her...you might not want to hear this but gut instinct, intuition, and suspicions are usually 99% accurate...

 

[WaterTiger]

You and your WIFE??? You just posted a thread in "Anything Else" about how you were in school and had the nurse call your Mom to come get you...

Somthin's fishy here!

 

[Phat]

Your wife is cheating on you stupid. You were right the first time when you found the text messages. And you just got tricked into believing they werent flirty when the text messages were obviously flirty. Thats like telling someone green is purple and believing it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

omfg people...you keep on giving a spam-bot advice.

wtf does it take to get a thread closed on here????


Jesus loves you! Vote Republican!! White people smell funny, and Chinese women are clearly superior!!!


ok, maybe that will do it.

 

[Annapolis Sailor]

Hi All,
Anyway when I looked at the messages on the phone not to my surprise there were several messages. When I read the messages I felt deeply hurt cause it sounded to me like this person was trying to move in on my wife.
.....Just when we start to make progress I questioned my trust for my wife and before she left for work this morning she asked me how we were going to fix me questioning my trust...... To my dismay I had no answer for her.

When your wife says 'jump' do you say 'how high deer?' Am I the only one who sees this as plain as day. Your wife is cheating on you! That is why there is duplicity. She is weighing her options and not completely sure option B will work quite yet. So, she keeps you suspended in reserve until she can determine if option B will work.

Do not believe me? Send her an assortment of flowers to work with no note attached. She will not know who it is from, and will assume it is from her new lover. When she comes home that day, see if she will bring up the flowers. She will not. Then my advice to you is get a P.I.

Let me tell you another thing about marriage: there is NO privacy in it. Everything is transparent and fair game. Otherwise, I would say we should live just like in modern times the way feminists unintended it would. We each have out own place to live, our own bills to pay, our own retirement to build, and our own separate lives to live. And every so often when we feel like it, we can engage in copulating activities.

To be fair and comforting to you, I want to say do not blame yourself. If a person is going to cheat they are going to cheat no matter what. You obviously have deep feelings for her. But feelings are not the truth of what your relationship is. You might ask "what could I have done differently?" The answer is not about you. Women cheat because they can... because-they-can! There is no why. This is not about you, this is about her. She ruined it not you. This is not about you and never was.

 

[909pua]

Women cheat because they can... because-they-can! There is no why. This is not about you, this is about her. She ruined it not you. This is not about you and never was.

AMEN to that!

 

[backbreaker]

my wife and I.

My wife and I

 

[backbreaker]

omfg people...you keep on giving a spam-bot advice.

wtf does it take to get a thread closed on here????


Jesus loves you! Vote Republican!! White people smell funny, and Chinese women are clearly superior!!!


ok, maybe that will do it.

bolded for truth IMHO

 

[penkitten]

3 bean chili

Prep Time:15 min
Start to Finish:40 min
makes:6 servings

1 can (28 oz) Muir Glen® Organic whole peeled tomatoes, undrained
1 can (19 oz) Progresso® chick peas (garbanzo beans), drained, rinsed
1 can (15 oz) Progresso® dark red kidney beans, drained, rinsed
1 can (15.5 oz) butter beans, drained, rinsed
1 can (15 oz) Muir Glen® Organic tomato sauce
3 small red, orange or yellow bell peppers, cut into 1-inch pieces
1 Anaheim or jalapeño chile, seeded, chopped
1 to 2 tablespoons chili powder
2 teaspoons ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/2 cup fat-free sour cream, if desired
Fresh cilantro sprigs, if desired
1. In 4-quart Dutch oven, mix all ingredients except sour cream and cilantro. Heat to boiling, breaking up tomatoes.
2. Reduce heat; cover and simmer 15 to 20 minutes or until bell peppers are tender. Serve chili with sour cream; garnish with cilantro.

 

[everywomanshero]

Did anyone else look at his signature? What's up with that?

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

My mom always makes that 3 bean chili for family deals.

I share Bible Belt's frustration, stop feeding the troll!