Masculinity vs. sophistication

[Dirtheart]

I'd like to hear people's opinions on this as I seem to be in a bit of a dilemma about it since "trying out" masculine behaviour.

What I mean is that I consider myself a classy person. I'm educated and well-spoken, well-groomed and dressed, and try to carry an aura of coolness about me. That's the image people know and admire.

But then I consider that masculine behaviour is apparently very attractive to women. Yet when I look at those sort of guys and with all their loud and uncouth behaviour (chanting football songs in the streets etc) and macho showmanship, I just consider them primitive morons and I honestly feel like it's beneath me.

I'm not effeminate, but I'm not macho. I just like to maintain some class and maturity.

When I look at women in the same way, I feel it's like comparing the classy ladies you find in wine bars to the sassy girls you meet in clubs. I know which appeals to me the most, so it makes sense for me to stick with my current image.

What's your take on this? How do you promote your masculinity while keeping an aura of sophistication?

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Being masculine isnt about acting wild and crazy, and being sophisticated isnt all about being non-masculine or whatever you want to call it....You can easily be both...Just keep doing what you are doing and work on becoming more masculine...Its hard for me to explain, someone will break it down...

 

[Tango-Kid]

Agree with the Bear. Look at Marlon Brando in Godfather, for instance

 

[vdk]

I think you are overating yourself. The new generation of guys differ from previous generations in that they are likely have studyed in university, dress and groom better and more likely to have a conversation outside sport, so there are many guys like you and me that are 'sophisticated'.

Now, masculinity is lacking these days due to the male bashing by the over corrections of the feminist revolution.

If you have both, it is a killer combo for any woman...

Therefore, read books, always learn something, pick up a sport, go to the gym, dress better, meet new people and groom better! Be the ultimate DJ

 

[JB101]

It's like the difference between Stifler from American Pie and James Bond. They're both masculine but they show it in different ways.

There's the loud frat guy, party animal type. Prone to do wild and crazy things. Spontaneous and hyper active.

Then there's Bond, Marlon Brando, etc. More relaxed, more subtle, but they still have an aura of coolness and masculinity about them. They are firm but not overly aggressive.

Classy ladies in wine bars must be bored out of their minds with the AFC's that go after them. Show them some firmness and playfulness. Some C&F, being in complete control of yourself.
Give your girl a slap on the ass when she needs it now and then. Read Sir Chance a lot's sexual techniques post.

Chanting in the streets doesn't turn women on. Chanting to yourself doesn't turn women on. What does turn them on is the feeling they get in their stomachs when they are around a guy that stirs up their emotions. Hearing something very C&F. Being driven crazy because they can't control him. Being taken in his arms and submitting to his advances.

 

[Resident DJ]

Chanting in the streets doesn't turn women on. Chanting to yourself doesn't turn women on. What does turn them on is the feeling they get in their stomachs when they are around a guy that stirs up their emotions. Hearing something very C&F. Being driven crazy because they can't control him. Being taken in his arms and submitting to his advances.

Perfecto.

 

[Hamaraz]

But then I consider that masculine behaviour is apparently very attractive to women. Yet when I look at those sort of guys and with all their loud and uncouth behaviour (chanting football songs in the streets etc) and macho showmanship, I just consider them primitive morons and I honestly feel like it's beneath me.
[/B]

I understand your perspective. Combining masculinity and sophistication, IMO, is what hbs want. Masculinity equals alpha, king/warrior in a primative sense - good genes for their offspring, sophistication equals, education, money, and toning down the rough edges of masculinity which she is afraid of.


To be masculine, act like a man, ie. character traits, strength in character w/o being a rigid motherfuuckker. Be physical in what you do, martial arts, weight lifting, but then be GQ, educated, conversate with dudes with Phds.

When you have that combo, bro, hbs love that ****.

 

[Ice Cold]

Masculinity isn't about being loud.

It's about self confidence and doing what a man's gotta do.

The whole aprroach of masculinity vs. sophistication is wrong. They aren't dependent on each other.

 

[Dirtheart]

Thanks for the feedback. I admit I do need to work a little on my masculinity, but after reading these comments I think I can do this more with my attitude than my ******d behaviour.

I must say, I'm very cautious about being perceived as a chauvinist because I see how women see these people and it's not good. A friend of mine is very masculine and slaps women's a$ses, stares at them and hits on them without a second thought. He is very unpopular and has never had a single success with his approach.

Me, on the other hand, I'm more charismatic, respectful and take my time. I make friends very easily, I get women approach me, get them hot for me and some have even viewed me as a soul mate. BUT this only works for a short period of time before I start sliding towards the friend zone.

I also had a female friend who recently told me she could go for me if I acted more "manly", but she didn't give me much else to go on.

 

[Dirtheart]

Eh? Why does this site censor the word "o u t w a r d"???

 

[Hamaraz]

A friend of mine is very masculine and slaps women's a$ses, stares at them and hits on them without a second thought. He is very unpopular and has never had a single success with his approach. [/B]

You left some important information out, how good looking is this guy because if you are good looking, it is o.k IMO to show his sexual interest, by giving a look down on a girl he likes and showing his sexuality. It is also the context, slapping women's asses, hitting on alot of women is almost over the edge. The more women you hit on, without discrimination, the less taste you show = less hbs like you. You must first receive some degree of an interest on her part to act sexual. For example, there was this girl I like, and I believe that she liked my. One day, she wore this leopard half shirt that blew me away. I felt she wore this shirt for me because we worked together for a year and never wore it, it was sexxxy as hellllll. I said outloud, "damn she has fine tits." without even thinking about it. I was thinking out loud. Was it sexist. No, because this was an oberservation. Was it masculine? Yes. I stated what I felt and I knew, she liked me. Was it tasteful? No. Later, I understood it was disrespectful, but I was not trying to be so.

 

[JB101]

Originally posted by Hamaraz
You left some important information out, how good looking is this guy because if you are good looking, it is o.k IMO to show his sexual interest, by giving a look down on a girl he likes and showing his sexuality. It is also the context, slapping women's asses, hitting on alot of women is almost over the edge. The more women you hit on, without discrimination, the less taste you show = less hbs like you. You must first receive some degree of an interest on her part to act sexual. For example, there was this girl I like, and I believe that she liked my. One day, she wore this leopard half shirt that blew me away. I felt she wore this shirt for me because we worked together for a year and never wore it, it was sexxxy as hellllll. I said outloud, "damn she has fine tits." without even thinking about it. I was thinking out loud. Was it sexist. No, because this was an oberservation. Was it masculine? Yes. I stated what I felt and I knew, she liked me. Was it tasteful? No. Later, I understood it was disrespectful, but I was not trying to be so.

You have to consider the context in which this is happening. Slapping girls asses in public will most likely get you arrested or sued. Staring and whistling at girls and trying to run them over with your dominance in a public place won't get you far.

The missing ingredient is rapport. Break down the barrier that keeps you as a stranger in her eyes. Get her laughing, talking about things, finding things in common. Then show her your dominance through C&F, kino, teasing and she'll be all yours.