backbreaker
Master Don Juan
damn when did you get married cord?
Married 6 months...wife is changing...
- Thread starter MattC80
- Start date
cordoncordon
Master Don Juan
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7 months ago.backbreaker said:
Kept it low key.
Red flags
1. She left her hubby to be with you.
2. She's acting the same with you.
I been in the same situation. You need to bail fast. If you have succumb to her, you will be a slave forever. By that time if you want to get out it will be too late.
1. She left her hubby to be with you.
2. She's acting the same with you.
I been in the same situation. You need to bail fast. If you have succumb to her, you will be a slave forever. By that time if you want to get out it will be too late.
Tictac
Banned
No kids, no debt, careful eyes on all forms of cash & credit.
State clearly what you will do and not do, will tolerate and not tolerate.
This is no game. You can lose your ass and a big part of your future in divorce court. It's not a fair game for men.
If it was me, I'd be already gone.
State clearly what you will do and not do, will tolerate and not tolerate.
This is no game. You can lose your ass and a big part of your future in divorce court. It's not a fair game for men.
If it was me, I'd be already gone.
OK,but did she try with the hubby?MattC80 said:
If you have to go to a counselor then I'm afraid its the end. I been there, done that. Counselling does not work.
Bite the bullet now or you will come here in a years time and cry again.
Thundernuts
Senior Don Juan
Its A Trap !!!
expos
Master Don Juan
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Marriage counseling does not work, I agree with you there. However, it sounds like this woman is still reeling from her busted marriage and unfairly using you as a punching bag for her emotions. You were a rebound, her clock is ticking, and you served as an emotional tampon. This why you don't get involved with a divorced woman if their marriage hasn't been finalized for more than a year.mikey2012 said:
That, and the social media disrespect post marriage tells me she could not give a crap. Women love social media and love to brag and post multiple photos of their guys, I know that mine does. The fact that she doesn't want to do this is troubling.
She is one that needs counseling, you'll probably need it to figure out why you love a woman who could care less about you and is merely using you as a sperm bank.
Greasy Pig
Master Don Juan
This sounds fvcked OP. As others said, keep a very close eye on everything: who she's communicating with, finances, odd behaviour.
Although most women don't deal in logic, you could try levelling with her. Just tell her you're unhappy and why. Ask her if she wants to still be your wife. If she says yes, judge her actions, not words. If she says no, then tidy up the loose ends and GTFO.
I recently had this chat with my girlfriend and gave her an extensive list of demands after months of cvntish behaviour. I didn't whine and shout, and it wasn't really an ultimatum. I just told her to really look inside herself and if she genuinely couldn't be that woman, then there was no future for us and it would be best if we just moved on amicably.
Amazingly, she took everything on board and is trying hard to be a lovable woman.
The key though is you have to be prepared to walk and really mean it. I was at the stage where I was done and had accepted that it was probably over and I was going to leave with my dignity and proud that I had the balls to change a situation if it wasn't going to improve.
Unfortunately, I think that's an extremely rare outcome.
Although most women don't deal in logic, you could try levelling with her. Just tell her you're unhappy and why. Ask her if she wants to still be your wife. If she says yes, judge her actions, not words. If she says no, then tidy up the loose ends and GTFO.
I recently had this chat with my girlfriend and gave her an extensive list of demands after months of cvntish behaviour. I didn't whine and shout, and it wasn't really an ultimatum. I just told her to really look inside herself and if she genuinely couldn't be that woman, then there was no future for us and it would be best if we just moved on amicably.
Amazingly, she took everything on board and is trying hard to be a lovable woman.
The key though is you have to be prepared to walk and really mean it. I was at the stage where I was done and had accepted that it was probably over and I was going to leave with my dignity and proud that I had the balls to change a situation if it wasn't going to improve.
Unfortunately, I think that's an extremely rare outcome.
BetterCallSaul
Master Don Juan
Myself and backbreaker are the only ones I know of.TheCWord said:
Btw OP, get the annulment started yesterday.
Skyline
Master Don Juan
I have a girl friend who used did this to her ex. Back when I was 100% friend zoned, it's about 30% now, she would ask me if she was prettier than her new ex'is girl. She was absolutely obsessed over this ex even when she was exclusive with another dude. I remember her telling me how guilty she felt whenever she thought about him that way. I personally think the only reason why she didn't cheat is because that ex never talked to her again because he didn't like her at all.MattC80 said:
Possibly rebound..?MattC80 said:
Only a little over a year...? You're crazy! And she even went bridzilla while putting on some weight? She doesn't care about you...MattC80 said:
Yeah she doesn't care about you.MattC80 said:
How did that conversation go..?MattC80 said:
"Alright, that was a nice vacation. Now let's sell "our" house and buy a new one so "we" can have kids."
Honestly, just the idea of "let's sell our house and buy a new one" just sounds terrible. This is probably why her ex dumped her by the way.
It's because she still cares about her ex, you're a rebound bro.MattC80 said:
I would ignore this to be honest, I hate social media. I would just pay attention to all the real life signals she's giving you. But... That friend I was talking about earlier did something similar to this. She would basically stalk his facebook and posts these "inspirational" statuses or something to try and get his attention.MattC80 said:The other thing that pisses me off a bit is that we were Facebook friends when she was married and she had tons of photos of her and her ex-husband. She deleted them when we began dating, but she won't post photos of us together.
Another thing, she doesn't want to change her last name on her Facebook profile to my last name. But she did for her ex. I know this is petty, but it's disrespectful.
I'm considering counseling or at least a trial separation.
So yeah TL
She isn't over her ex and I think you might loose a lot of money if you go further.
I'd also like to add that there are a few issues in my personal life that have hindered our relationship. One is that my mother is ill and she currently lives with us. We sort of have a plan to move her out but the cost of assisted-living is $2000 at the lowest. My mom and dad are divorced so it's on me to sort of take care of things on that end. It's been sort of a strain balancing my wife and my mom in the same house.
MattC80 said:Brief story here...
Met my wife at my job. I'm 32, she's 30.
We both work in finance and I always had sort of a thing for her, but when we first met she was married. We got to know each other on recruiting trips through our job. Her and I and a few other associates would fly to different parts of the country and we'd always make small talk and I could sense we were connecting. I was sort of frustrated because she wasn't available - and I was in the later stages of breaking it off with my girlfriend.
This was about two years ago.
At the beginning of last year, she and her husband divorce. They were married for 2 years. She wanted kids and he didn't and I guess he kind of drifted away from her. She tried to get him back but he was already banging some girl. She got all pissy about this and started crying a lot. She then started asking me if she was prettier than her and I told her to forget about him.
So she wasn't in a good place - but it didn't take long before we were doing things together on the weekend and we got pretty close.
We started dating, got official, having sex on the regular and things were amazing and nearly perfect. I went fishing with her dad and met almost all of her family members. I text her brother like every other day. We attended a few weddings over that summer so she met all of my family.
We dated for about 13 months and I proposed to her. Things were OK during the engagement phase but not great because she was going buck wild with planning it and sort of ignoring me which pissed me off. We werent having sex very much during this time and she was putting on a little weight.
On our wedding night she kept telling me to hurry up when we were having sex and wanted me to orgasm faster. We went on our honeymoon - Turks and Caicos - and she was sort of doing the same thing. We were there for a week and didn't seem that into having sex with me.
We get back to my house, and she's moved in now and wants us to sell my house and buy a brand new one, and she's and pressuring me for a kid now but she's not even trying in the bedroom. We've gone a couple weeks without sex.
Last night we had a pretty big blow up and we've been fighting for awhile now. Nothing I do is good enough, even though I make a really good salary. She's also been spending a lot of time with her mom and she's sort of meddling a bit.
The other thing that pisses me off a bit is that we were Facebook friends when she was married and she had tons of photos of her and her ex-husband. She deleted them when we began dating, but she won't post photos of us together.
Another thing, she doesn't want to change her last name on her Facebook profile to my last name. But she did for her ex. I know this is petty, but it's disrespectful.
I'm considering counseling or at least a trial separation.
So yeah TL
Your fault for getting married in the first place. Brother what the **** were you thinking? My advice is talked to here sincerely about how you feel, but don't make yourself look like a ***** or weak. only chance to save your marriage put your foot down and tell her your not comfortable with her bull****.
Yeah, agreed. Especially with this new info about your mother, it's at least worth a shot having a real talk with her - after you've taken the precautions the other posters have outlined for you.captain55 said:
Like cap'n said, just tell her things aren't working as it is, this is what she's doing wrong, and you're sure there are things you could do better yourself, but bottom line she has to either commit to getting the relationship back on track - emphasize you're a team in this - or else it's over. If she goes on the attack or shows no interest in shaping up, you can tell her that divorce proceedings are imminent.
But, hopefully, once she hears you say that you are unhappy and are serious about leaving, she'll snap out of it and express a willingness to get things back on track.
Nothing but bj's for you from here on out son because if you get this ***** pregnant you're going to have to go into hiding or flee the country in a lame attempt to avoid child support. Not that a woman who asks you to hurry during sex likely gives bj's. Yeah go see an attorney and figure out an exit plan. Don't marry divorced women and for the love of all that is good date a woman at least 6 years younger preferably more. These baby rabies women are not more mature just more tricky. If you choose to continue with this women expect things to get worse I'm talking zero sex. She probably will also cheat cause she obviously has no respect for you asking you to hurry. I've had a girl tell me to hurry dumped the *****. You can't just dump your wife so see a lawyer today.
MOTU
Master Don Juan
MattC80, I think you need to read "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Robert Glover ASAP. No, it's not a primer on being a jerk. It deals with the psychology of how men end up in a vicious cycle of doing more, that's never good enough, for the women we love, in an effort to please them, that never works. RUN to the bookstore, buy it, find a quiet place and read it cover to cover, twice.
