Lying Girlfriend

[ravinnn]

Good tips. Good tips. After arguing until 5 in the damn morning we came up with a compromise I guess and she said again that she would never lie to me again. :S. I probably know that this will not be the last time however.

We all understand you, don't get that wrong, but listen to yourself.

You had to COMPROMISE for her to not lie again??


And, it took arguing until 5AM?? You posted on a Monday, that means you stayed up til 5 on a Sunday night with probably class the next day!! All for what, for her to 'promise', again, to not lie to you.



Look at what she's doing to you, and you're getting **** out of it.



Be honest, what is your goal in this relationship?

 

[Pierce]

I just figure I got a girl that loves me a lot and wants to be my wife. My goal to be honest is not to be lonely I guess and be with someone who I can be myself with.

 

[pipe007]

EA gold, one question, are you christian?

you know that people who have sex for the first time after they get married also get divorced in the same rate as everyone else right?

plus evidence show that guys who cannot get any sex before marriage is due to the fact that the girl owns the relationship and his balls, and will do after marriage which most likely will end up in divorce, her lying, or cheating on him

yours, is the worst piece of advice I've heard so far.

 

[Warrior74]

You can never go wrong with Tomassi.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #4

NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren't married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.

You are utterly powerless in this situation. NEVER buy a home with a girlfriend, NEVER sign a rental lease with a girlfriend. NEVER agree to move into her home and absolutely NEVER move a woman into your own established living arrangement. I'm adamantly opposed to the "shacking up" dynamic, it is a trap that far too many men allow themselves to fall into. My fervor agianst this isn't based on some moral issue, it it simple pragmatism. If you live with a woman you may as well be married because upon doing so every liability and accountability of marriage is then in effect. You not only lose any freedom of annonymity you commit to, legally, being responsible for the continuation of your living arrangements regardless of how your relationship decays.

I should also emphasize the point that when you commit (and it is a financial committment) to cohabiting with a GF you will notice a marked decrease in her sexual availability and desire, trust me on this. All of that competitive anxiety and it's resulting sexual tension that made your single sex life so great is removed from her shoulders and she can comfortably relax in the knowledge that she is your ONLY source of sexual intimacy. Putting your name on that lease with her (even if it's just your name) is akin to signing an insurance polcy for her - "I the undersigned promise not to ƒuck any woman but this girl for a one year term." She thinks, "if he wasn't serious about me, he wouldn't have signed the lease." Now all of that impetus and energy that made having marathon sex with you an outright necessity is relaxed. She controls the frame and she's got it in writing that it is for at least a year.

Just don't do it. Relationships last best when you spin more plates or at the very least keep each other at arm's distance.

 

[Ease]

Good tips. Good tips. After arguing until 5 in the damn morning we came up with a compromise I guess and she said again that she would never lie to me again. :S. I probably know that this will not be the last time however.

haha, i can see into the future!

When a guy goes easy on this situation, and says things like, 'you musn't lie to me, i will not accept that', she will recoil temporarily

And that is what you did...

Next thing to happen will be..

and cheat and dump you in the end.

 

[Pierce]

I like to think I was stern because I told her I was not having that and I could easily find another girl who wouldn't lie to me. But at the end of the day I took her back . Everything is good now howvever. I wonder how long that will last.

 

[Kailex]

I like to think I was stern because I told her I was not having that and I could easily find another girl who wouldn't lie to me. But at the end of the day I took her back . Everything is good now howvever. I wonder how long that will last.

You're either a troll or incredibly daft.
I'm hoping you are a troll.

You taking her back essentially tells her that you are okay with being lied to, that even though you SAY that you will dump her for another girl, she can push your limits and you'll forgive her.

Women keep testing men's boundaries and the more you "take her back"... the more she'll push those boundaries.

You're going to lose this game, although I think you've already lost.

 

[Iceberg]

I like to think I was stern because I told her I was not having that and I could easily find another girl who wouldn't lie to me. But at the end of the day I took her back . Everything is good now howvever. I wonder how long that will last.

If it seems like you're wondering how long it will last, then you might as well man up and end the relationship.

What's the benefit of an uneasy truce? This isn't international diplomacy. It's a stupid college relationship. If you're uncertain of whether you can trust the girl, then this ends the deal.

You're either a troll or incredibly daft.
I'm hoping you are a troll.

Just saw this post, and I agree. How do you come to this site, knowing what it's about, expecting not to be mocked for constantly accepting a girlfriend's sh*tty treatment?

Every bit of advice he's gotten tells him to ditch the girl. And not only does he NOT do it, he comes back to ask more questions about it. If a normal person dislikes the advice given here, he leaves. He doesn't disregard the advice, continue the same path, and STILL ask for more help.

Probably a troll.

 

[Pierce]

I got better things to do with my life than troll on a forum. This girl is my first love and i feel for the most part I am happy in the relationship. Sometimes she just does some messed up things and I'm trying to handle the situation to a point where she does not do it anymore.

For this incident I told her to stop or I'll find another girl. The reason we argued until 5 in the morning because she had wanted to argue about how I brought up her lieng at the wrong place.

I understand that I probably should have been dumped her a while ago but this is my first real relationship. I am an afc and this sounds sad as hell but I couldn't imagine my life without her.. because I do not want to be lonely.

I want to just transform her into the perfect girl for me. I guess I can't change anything about someone though. I guess it's just hard to let go of your first love and I am mustering the strength to do it because I know I have to.

 

[PokerStar]

I got better things to do with my life than troll on a forum. This girl is my first love and i feel for the most part I am happy in the relationship. Sometimes she just does some messed up things and I'm trying to handle the situation to a point where she does not do it anymore.

For this incident I told her to stop or I'll find another girl. The reason we argued until 5 in the morning because she had wanted to argue about how I brought up her lieng at the wrong place.

I understand that I probably should have been dumped her a while ago but this is my first real relationship. I am an afc and this sounds sad as hell but I couldn't imagine my life without her.. because I do not want to be lonely.

I want to just transform her into the perfect girl for me. I guess I can't change anything about someone though. I guess it's just hard to let go of your first love and I am mustering the strength to do it because I know I have to.

well you know what?!?

alot of people know what to do, but they dont go out and do it.

maybe because they are scared. Scared of change, scared of screwing up, maybe even scared of the success they will have.

its starts NOW. not tommorow, not next week, not when she lies to you again. It starts NOW!!

take that leap of faith.

yeah so what if shes your first love, dont you see the big picture? life is full of loves. wether it be your 4th love or your 64th love.

what you lack sir is courage, courage to reach outside of your little box. The moment that you decide to take ACTION is the day where you step into your new life as a man.

DONT BE A P*SSY. BE A MAN TAKE ACTION. AND DONT TAKE ANY CRAP(LYING) FROM ANY WOMAN.

 

[Iceberg]

I got better things to do with my life than troll on a forum. This girl is my first love and i feel for the most part I am happy in the relationship. Sometimes she just does some messed up things and I'm trying to handle the situation to a point where she does not do it anymore.

For this incident I told her to stop or I'll find another girl. The reason we argued until 5 in the morning because she had wanted to argue about how I brought up her lieng at the wrong place.

I understand that I probably should have been dumped her a while ago but this is my first real relationship. I am an afc and this sounds sad as hell but I couldn't imagine my life without her.. because I do not want to be lonely.

I want to just transform her into the perfect girl for me. I guess I can't change anything about someone though. I guess it's just hard to let go of your first love and I am mustering the strength to do it because I know I have to.

Well if you want to use "love" and "happiness" as a crutch, then I gotta ask: What was the point of asking for advice in the first place?

No matter what people advise you, you can always fall back to the retort: "Maybe you're right. But I love her!"

Your acknowledgment that your way is the wrong way and your refusal to make any steps toward changing kind of eliminate the purpose of visiting this site don't they?

 

[PokerStar]

"Maybe you're right. But I love her!"

hey iceberg. just a thought that popped in my head with your post.

Maybe your right = Logic
But I love her! = Emotional

As men, shouldnt we keep our emotions in check and under control?

I think thats whats OP problem is, he is thinking with his emotional attachments.

am i right?

 

[Pierce]

Your correct Poker.

Your also correct Iceberg. I do know I am wrong and I have been refusing to make that first step. This will change though.

 

[PokerStar]

Your correct Poker.

Your also correct Iceberg. I do know I am wrong and I have been refusing to make that first step. This will change though.

You will do it, bro.

You have tons of resources on sosuave.

Just read and meet poeple. interact. try a few social experiments.

"THE BIGGEST RISK YOU CAN TAKE, IS NOT TAKING ONE AT ALL"

 

[Iceberg]

Your correct Poker.

Your also correct Iceberg. I do know I am wrong and I have been refusing to make that first step. This will change though.

I don't mean to break your balls. Everyone advances at their own speed. I'm not going to pretend that I was some champion player when I was your age.

It's just that when you're at my stage, you don't like seeing people make the same mistakes you made when you were a little younger.

Sometimes people have to play with fire and get burned. Maybe that's how I learned too.

 

[Quality9.99]

OP, u sir are an AW.

I mean these advices that are spot on from these guys who clearly know what they are talking about and you just shut them down with the "BUT I LOVE HER" line.


From your attitude towards these guys, you dont diserve anyhelp
Man the F* up and get her out of your house and out of your life, and let her come to you crawling.And if she doesnt come, then u know how much she "loves you".(although lying about guys calling you isnt a sign of love but whatever boils your water sir ).

 

[drak_ool]

This girl is my first love and i feel for the most part I am happy in the relationship.

I won't even get into any of the other issues you've raised, the other guys have them covered pretty well...

Your first love will break your heart. Especially if you told her that. She has all the power over you. She knows deep down you don't have the strength to walk away because you "love" her so much. She knows that because you tell it to her every day. Whenever you say "i love you" to her, what she hears is "i put my balls in your hands, do whatever you want with them". And she will crush them, this is what young, immature, fun-seeking college girls do.

Don't worry though, I ll be here when you ask for advice about how to move on after she breaks up with you/cheats on you.

 

[Pierce]

^^Your right. I think I made remarkable strides since the Summer though. I am nowhere near emotional as I was. I don't even tell her I love her anymore. When she asks me questions like "when do you want to have a kid with me" and "when are you going to propose to me" I always say IDK. Not now.

 

[Darth_Qurashi]

I'll tell you an example in my life.

I know how it feels, I've had that same feeling with my gf wen i was so afc. i still am afc sometimes i won't lie. but before, i was so bad that i knew in my heart if she cheated on me, i would still stay. and i didn't know why.

But now i've changed, and i'd like to thank the site. but what happened was at work, I found out about this girl, who was really hot. and she liked me too. and its not like i went out of my way to talk to her, cuz i knew i had a gf. but wen we're at work, we talk and i get to know her, and i get see that there are other girls that are just as great, and if my girl brolke up with me, I would be ok.

I'm not saying go out and cheat, but if you can just try talking to other girls casually, see what's out there without doing anything bad, once you start to feel the temptation to cheat, then u can rlly understand wat ur girl feels like and u can rlly start deciding if she's the one that's making the mistake or if it's you. and if she keeps this up, then you'll actually have the strength to leave cuz u know u'll be ok.

 

[Pierce]

Well I know she isn't cheating on me because we do spend all our time together. That thought really never comes up. I think the problem she has is lack of common sence. Sometimes she does **** without thinking and I am like.... what the hell... you can't do that in no relationship.