Lying Girlfriend

[Pierce]

So today I caught my girlfriend in a simple lie. Someone called her phone earlier today from some number and she told me it was a girl from her class. I figure out however that this was some dude. She tells me it was a dude from her class and that she lied to me because she thought I would be mad if a dude called her.

We have been in a relationship since last December and we are pretty serious. We live together in an apartment and everything. We basically share our income 50/50 etc.

The thing that gets me is this girl will lie about the dumbest things and she says that she lies so that I won't be upset. After I caught her in a lie however a month ago she promised me that she would never lie to me again. I told her today that I'm not putting up with that lying crap and I refuse to marry a girl that lies to me.

To be honest I do not trust this girl to save my life. This is pretty much my first relationship ever and I do not know if it is her or me. Maybe I am too "controlling" and "insecure" so I feel like I can't trust her.

What do you guys think I should I do?

 

[Tiguere]

20 and already with a livin in girlfriend. oh my!!!

how old is this girl?

what i really want to know is why do you hate yourself so much?

lack of self-respect
afraid no other women will spread her legs for you if you dump this current one;
thinking you will never do better than what you currently have.

you are both immature for a long term serious relationship.

 

[Pierce]

She is 19.

I guess we love each other that much. We are both in college. We have separate apartments but we stay in mine all day every day basically when we are not in class or doing other things.

 

[f283000]

Have you noticed something weird when you kiss her? If so it's likely due to you tasting some guy's ball juice

Just being real with you. Very good possibility you are getting this guy's sloppy dirty seconds due to the fact she had to lie about it. If she had nothing to hide she would have told the truth.

I just want you to consider the following. This could or not be the case in your situation.

Look at it this way do you think she would lie about a fat, 500 pound class mate calling her about a class project? of course not! she would have been honest and told you the truth the first time.

Now change that to would she lie about a good looking guy in her class that is hot on her heels who he managed to get her digits recently because like all women she can't resist attention, and this guy just might be more of an alpha male than you in her eyes?

Trust me on this when it comes to women if they have a perception of themselves of higher value than the guy trying to get their # or if their boyfriend to them is the alpha male then they will not give out their # to a guy they perceive to be trying to game them. Women are not stupid they know when a guy's up to something.

Try to use logic when it comes to women's actions even though they themselves are not logical creatures. Their actions give them away.

In this relationship YOU have everything to lose. She has the upper hand due to the fact that you allow her to live with you pretty much. The moment a man allows himself to become too accessible to a woman is the moment the sexual tension and attraction starts going down the toilet. It's the moment that she has total control of the relationship. She has you right where she wants you.

 

[Rubirosa]

It's simple : If you don't trust her, you shouldn't be in a relationship w/ her.

 

[SandHawk]

The last girl that lied to me is still regretting it. She gives me glances and stares all the time, conveying she misses me.

I take a lot of a girl that I've been seeing for 6 months as long as she doesn't break my main rules. And don't lie is one of my main rules. Break the rule and you're out, even after 6 months of dating. Lying = losing trust = not worth my time anymore. period.

 

[Ease]

Bullsh*t advice aside, listen to f283000. It's easy to say 'self respect, dump her, trust and honesty' etc. nonsense, but this is real and you need to think on your feet.

Dont say things like 'i refuse to marry a girl' or 'you have disrespected me' or 'you have broken our trust', say things like:

'***** wtf are you doing lying to me'

Lying about odd things like this is one of those nasty signs that something may be up. You need to go in hard and blast it, its either nothing or you discover something about her true feelings for you. Be ruthless and go with your gut instinct, if your relationship is still good then you'll know.

When a guy goes easy on this situation, and says things like, 'you musn't lie to me, i will not accept that', she will recoil temporarily and cheat and dump you in the end.

 

[Kailex]

Pierce, why do you keep posting about this girl?
This is your THIRD post about her in the last 2 - 3 months.

And now you're LIVING with her???

WHY???

Because you two love each other so much?
Pierce, you obviously don't know the meaning of the word "love".

To be honest I do not trust this girl to save my life.

But you say you love her?
Come on, quit the games.

You're only 20 for fvck's sake.
Why are you living with someone that early in?

When are you going to act like an adult? Just because you two live together, it doesn't mean you two are serious. She's obviously not serious if she's sneaking phone calls from other guys.

And you obviously don't split it 50/50... weren't you complaining the other day that she'd rather spend 20 bucks on her friends than to help pay for a ticket that was HER fault???

That doesn't equate to 50/50.

Your posts make me wonder how snuggly your testicles are wrapped within her purse. She's lied to you once, she'll do it again. Your sole "threat" right now is "I won't marry you"... when guess what... you already live with her. So right away you are giving her the impression that you won't live up to your word. She already has all the emotional security in the world because you decided to move in with her. And again, why did you do that? You've been on this forum for a while... why did you decide to ignore everything that has constantly been discussed on these forums to move in with this girl who you've posted with about multiple issues.

What happened between September and November that you decided to move in with Red Flag girl?

 

[pipe007]

so this is is the same AFC that had her GF get him at ticket which she wouldn't pay and she would rather go out with her girlfriends and spend it on them????


damn!, I don't feel sorry for this person anymore. In fact, OP you deserve all the lying that you are getting, and probably being cheated on.

I won't waste my time giving adivise, it's just easy to treat you this way, and maybe then you will open your eyes.

well, enjoy your misery.

 

[5string]

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Next her.

 

[DonGorgon]

I figure out however that this was some dude. She tells me it was a dude from her class and that she lied to me because she thought I would be mad if a dude called her.

You need to understand that lying is a corner stone of human nature and so is cheating and promiscuity... never waist time and energy trying to remove these traits from women.. just make sure that she is Fing you... you ned to have other women calling your phone and you need to be lying to her cause that is what life is all about and what women prefer in a man.. when you are too "good" they find it lame and a turn off..

Oh and she has lied many other times about many things.

"A statement only becomes a lie when it is revealed to not be the truth... Be vary careful how much value you place on the concept of truth versus falsity" - Honesty Seeker

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

She is 19.

I guess we love each other that much. We are both in college. We have separate apartments but we stay in mine all day every day basically when we are not in class or doing other things.

I've had girlfriends for 2-3 years that I didn't live with. That's what ambitious grownups do. They share relationships, they love each other, and they still maintain separate lives for their own individuality and mental health.

I wouldn't dream of moving in with a girl I dated for less than a year. How desperate are you?

"Love" my arse. You're a weakling.

 

[DonGorgon]

oH and never ever take a 19 year old seriously..

 

[loveshogun]

We are both in college.

One thing I've learned from college is that in college, it's really easy to be in a relationship, because you don't have to worry about anything. There's no sense of priorities because there is no need for them. If it's not obvious, this is not always a good thing.

This will be a learning experience for you, young paduwan. Learn as much as you can about being patient, fun, driven, and most of all independent.

The biggest thing I learned in college was how to walk away from a bad deal. If you can stand on your own two feet, you will never have any "really" bad days. Only days that "feel" sh*tty.


** I clearly did not read the OP's history. Keep your eyes open, bud. You're flying blind.

 

[TizZle]

Things like honesty, loyalty, honor are all masculine traits.

Women lie to avoid confrontation. This isn't any new news.

 

[Pierce]

Good tips. Good tips. After arguing until 5 in the damn morning we came up with a compromise I guess and she said again that she would never lie to me again. :S. I probably know that this will not be the last time however.

 

[Following_of_Me]

Of course it's always possible that maybe because this is your first relationship you are clingy, and you come off as such that she lies about little things most guys can just brush off because she knows it will have a greater emotional impact on you..

I mean realistically, it could go either way. She COULD be cheating on you, but she could also just feel like you're not emotionally capable of handling her having a life outside of you. Which is understandable, a lot of guys have this problem. Relax a little. Don't sweat the small stuff. But if you catch her with anything substantial, then go apesh1t.

 

[iliketennis]

wimp

 

[Nexus Polaris]

Brother, if she's lying to you and you're putting up with it, you're getting what you think you deserve. Because you're allowing it.

Set some high standards for yourself. You sound like you're being a pushover. If you let it be known that you won't put up with her lying, then she'll straighten up real quick if she values your relationship. If not, then she would have left eventually anyway.

 

[EA Gold]

You see this is the problem of having fornication outside marriage. You start having feelings for that person then you start second guessing yourself in who do you want to spend your life with.

When you have sexual relations with someone with no commitment, your basically writing that person off the marriage list because if she has sex with you outside of marriage what makes you think that she won't run around your back and have sex with anyone else.

You could be the 11th person shes had sex with or the 122nd person, to her your just a number in her list of buddies.

A purely sexual relationship is not what you want your marriage to start with and at the end your kids will suffer for it.