Hey guys,
So I met this girl from another college in my university about 25 days ago, and things happened fast. I played it cool and ****y, and she was totally into me, coming up with pretexts to meet me on campus. Then she called me to her house two times, 2 weeks ago, and we made out. But she has intimacy issues and possibly sees me as an LTR, so no sex. I didn't push it either. I want her for an LTR too. She kept kissing me and saying "I am not ready for a relationship", and I kept saying "but I haven't asked you for a relationship".
Then she went out of town for 5 days for a conference, and came back last Tuesday. I was kinda expecting her to behave like a girlfriend (call me up and all that) but she didn't. I still played it cool and waited to see how she will react when she comes back.
Tuesday:
She was totally into me as soon as she came back, made plans to meet. We met on campus so not much intimacy but she hugged and kissed me many times, kept sending me texts all day.
Wednesday:
She asked me to come to a lecture she was delivering, and take some pictures. I went, but wasn't in the mood to play cameraman, so just took some pics from my seat. She got disappointed after that and sent me an email "I am sad blah blah, but don't worry". I apologized for the pictures, and asked her to meet me tomorrow, she said she can only meet for half an hour.
Thursday:
We made plans to meet at 7 PM and she said she had to talk to a professor before that. I kept waiting until 7:25 until I finally lost my cool and started walking back home. She called me at around 7:30 and I yelled at her "my time has value blah blah". She immediately hung up the phone. That's when I got super needy and called her around 20 times. She didn't pick up. Later she called me and said she was not okay with my behavior, and she thinks that we became too close too soon, so she would like to trivialize the relationship. I tried to explain once or twice, then I said okay, do whatever you want, I understand your decision. When I said this she cooled down and started saying "we will come out of this, it's a matter of time".
(We had a ball at school on Friday which I had invited her to, and she had been super excited about that). Then she asked me "what about tomorrow evening" and I said "do whatever you like" and she said she would like to come. I played the hurt-cool guy.
Friday:
In the morning she texted me she'd like to join me, and again "we will come out of this, you are a good guy, I am not, sorry". I took her to the ball and she was all over me again. I was playing ****y-funny to regain my value, almost being mean to her. I left her alone many times in the ball to see if she wants to hang around with me or just wanted to come to the party. She always came back to me, hung around with me, acted like my girlfriend. In the night we kissed and everything seemed to be fine again. Late night she puts up a romantic song on facebook and says "I feel like this". So I thought she's undergoing something she calls love for me.
Saturday:
A friend of hers had organized a birthday party for her (her bday had been a few days ago). Since we're still new, it seems to me that she doesn't want to advertise our relationship in front of all school people. She didn't interact with me much, but kissed me when I asked for it. I started talking about a girl I had gone out with in the afternoon, and she seemed jealous. Then she started jealousy tracks of her own. She massively flirted with all guys at the party, danced with all of them, and when she danced with me she was very uncomfortable. However, all the time she was looking at me to check out how I react (so I am sure it was jealousy and not interest in other guys). Whenever I started talking to other girls, she came around and held my hand etc.
At the end of the night, she kissed me and said "thanks for being there, and thanks for handling my moods". I continued playing ****y and cool, but I was super needy from inside.
Sunday:
Whole day I kept feeling needy and she didn't contact, so finally I called her at 5 PM and asked if she wanted to grab dinner. This was the first time I had suggested a traditional date, and she immediately said no. I kept trying to talk but she was annoyed and almost rude to me. Then I hung up. In the night she called me again and talked for half an hour, both of us talked almost professionally about school work etc., not a single romantic conversation.
Monday:
No calls or texts for the whole day. She sent me a little message on facebook in Romanian (her native language), and said "don't try to translate it". It was just a harmless joke, though, when I found out what it meant.
Tuesday:
I chat her up on facebook and she's very distant again, I told her she sent me a rude message in Romanian, and she's like "no its not rude blah blah. But believe what you like". Then I said "okay I will" and she didn't respond.
All the while she's been rude to me or trying to make me jealous, she's also been posting romantic stuff on facebook, which is what makes me think she's ****-testing me just before a final close. Am I being overly optimistic?
What do you guys think? Is she freezing me out or geniunely losing interest? In either case, what should I do? Should I freeze her out 'badly' for a few days, or try and ask her out to see if she will come?
Also, there's another girl in her social circle who has been making advances to me. Should I go out with her, while I'm sure that the main girl would come to know? Will it enhance attraction or kill the "love" she might be feeling?
Thanks for reading this long post. I know I have done a lot of AFC-ish stuff, but I'd appreciate advice for the future more.
Best,
R.
So I met this girl from another college in my university about 25 days ago, and things happened fast. I played it cool and ****y, and she was totally into me, coming up with pretexts to meet me on campus. Then she called me to her house two times, 2 weeks ago, and we made out. But she has intimacy issues and possibly sees me as an LTR, so no sex. I didn't push it either. I want her for an LTR too. She kept kissing me and saying "I am not ready for a relationship", and I kept saying "but I haven't asked you for a relationship".
Then she went out of town for 5 days for a conference, and came back last Tuesday. I was kinda expecting her to behave like a girlfriend (call me up and all that) but she didn't. I still played it cool and waited to see how she will react when she comes back.
Tuesday:
She was totally into me as soon as she came back, made plans to meet. We met on campus so not much intimacy but she hugged and kissed me many times, kept sending me texts all day.
Wednesday:
She asked me to come to a lecture she was delivering, and take some pictures. I went, but wasn't in the mood to play cameraman, so just took some pics from my seat. She got disappointed after that and sent me an email "I am sad blah blah, but don't worry". I apologized for the pictures, and asked her to meet me tomorrow, she said she can only meet for half an hour.
Thursday:
We made plans to meet at 7 PM and she said she had to talk to a professor before that. I kept waiting until 7:25 until I finally lost my cool and started walking back home. She called me at around 7:30 and I yelled at her "my time has value blah blah". She immediately hung up the phone. That's when I got super needy and called her around 20 times. She didn't pick up. Later she called me and said she was not okay with my behavior, and she thinks that we became too close too soon, so she would like to trivialize the relationship. I tried to explain once or twice, then I said okay, do whatever you want, I understand your decision. When I said this she cooled down and started saying "we will come out of this, it's a matter of time".
(We had a ball at school on Friday which I had invited her to, and she had been super excited about that). Then she asked me "what about tomorrow evening" and I said "do whatever you like" and she said she would like to come. I played the hurt-cool guy.
Friday:
In the morning she texted me she'd like to join me, and again "we will come out of this, you are a good guy, I am not, sorry". I took her to the ball and she was all over me again. I was playing ****y-funny to regain my value, almost being mean to her. I left her alone many times in the ball to see if she wants to hang around with me or just wanted to come to the party. She always came back to me, hung around with me, acted like my girlfriend. In the night we kissed and everything seemed to be fine again. Late night she puts up a romantic song on facebook and says "I feel like this". So I thought she's undergoing something she calls love for me.
Saturday:
A friend of hers had organized a birthday party for her (her bday had been a few days ago). Since we're still new, it seems to me that she doesn't want to advertise our relationship in front of all school people. She didn't interact with me much, but kissed me when I asked for it. I started talking about a girl I had gone out with in the afternoon, and she seemed jealous. Then she started jealousy tracks of her own. She massively flirted with all guys at the party, danced with all of them, and when she danced with me she was very uncomfortable. However, all the time she was looking at me to check out how I react (so I am sure it was jealousy and not interest in other guys). Whenever I started talking to other girls, she came around and held my hand etc.
At the end of the night, she kissed me and said "thanks for being there, and thanks for handling my moods". I continued playing ****y and cool, but I was super needy from inside.
Sunday:
Whole day I kept feeling needy and she didn't contact, so finally I called her at 5 PM and asked if she wanted to grab dinner. This was the first time I had suggested a traditional date, and she immediately said no. I kept trying to talk but she was annoyed and almost rude to me. Then I hung up. In the night she called me again and talked for half an hour, both of us talked almost professionally about school work etc., not a single romantic conversation.
Monday:
No calls or texts for the whole day. She sent me a little message on facebook in Romanian (her native language), and said "don't try to translate it". It was just a harmless joke, though, when I found out what it meant.
Tuesday:
I chat her up on facebook and she's very distant again, I told her she sent me a rude message in Romanian, and she's like "no its not rude blah blah. But believe what you like". Then I said "okay I will" and she didn't respond.
All the while she's been rude to me or trying to make me jealous, she's also been posting romantic stuff on facebook, which is what makes me think she's ****-testing me just before a final close. Am I being overly optimistic?
What do you guys think? Is she freezing me out or geniunely losing interest? In either case, what should I do? Should I freeze her out 'badly' for a few days, or try and ask her out to see if she will come?
Also, there's another girl in her social circle who has been making advances to me. Should I go out with her, while I'm sure that the main girl would come to know? Will it enhance attraction or kill the "love" she might be feeling?
Thanks for reading this long post. I know I have done a lot of AFC-ish stuff, but I'd appreciate advice for the future more.
Best,
R.
