The motivation for thread is because I have been learning and field-testing a lot of things lately and want to keep track of the stuff I learned so that I wont forget. Also I want to continue learning and gathering info so feel free to share your stuff as well. Please only post
APPLICABLE screening techniques and explain how you screen for what you screen for. Also keep in mind that this is for LTR only, you shouldn't care for any of this if your just trying to smash. Also this is mainly covering screening for promiscuous traits.
What I Screen for and How:
There are obvious stuff I screen for like tattoos, piercings etc that I won't mention. This is not an exhaustive list, there are infinite ways to do these things. Keep in mind that you should pay attention to the attitude and emotions behind the answers as they tend to be more honest. Also always pry for more detail get her to talk talk talk and never accept ambiguity
. Most importantly, screen hard and screen fast, this should ALL BE DONE WITHIN THE FIRST DATE OR EARLIER. The questions and technical components are in blue,
the red flags are in red, and if its underlined its an automatic LTR disqualifier, the green flags are in black non-bolded:
- What her social life is like: You are trying to find out if shes a party girl, heavy drinker, smokes weed/does drugs. Good LTR candidates are usually very low key and most normal women rarely if ever drink. Ask her what her hobbies are, if shes outgoing, when was the last time she hung out with her friends and what did they do, how would she describe her friends.
- What her friends are like: Figure out if she has a lot of guy friends or if her female friends are thots. Ask her to describe her closest friends that she hangs out with.
- Ask If shes been on any dates recently: This bullet point piggy back's to the next, but I've noticed that shady women tend to freeze up when trying to answer, they try to buy time by saying "hmmmmm" or by repeating the question. For example they would say something like "Well... to be honest I took a break from dating for a few months so I haven't dated recently" They will also give ambiguous answers and try to avoid, switch or redirect the question back to you before you have the chance to ask for more details. This usually means she was probably ****ing around a lot recently. A good sign is if she answers without hesitation and immediately starts describing stuff that happened on the date without you having to ask.
- How long were her previous relationships and why they ended: Keep an eye out for women who haven't been in any long relationships. Promiscuous women tend to give ambiguous, short, unclear, and generic answers as to why their relationships end. Good LTR candidates have been in long relationships and generally have good detailed and clear explanations to why they all ended. Start of by asking her if shes been on a date recently, from there transition into finding out how long was her longest relationship, why her relationships ended, what is the most common positive/negative trait in men she dates. Pay close attention to how she answers that last question, if she has a habit of dating bad men or painting them in a bad light then she most likely is very promiscuous.
- Does she like to travel: You are trying to figure out if she has gone to "vacation with the girls" to thotty hotspots like vegas, cancun, miami, etc. Good LTR candidates go on vacation with either their spouse or family members but not with a group of thot friends. Ask her if she likes to travel, where has she been, who does she normally go on vacation with, what her favorite vacation destination was and why
- Ask her what are her long term goals: Its a HUGEEE red flag if she doesn't mention anything about relationships in her long term goals or if she gives ambiguous relationship answer like "something serious" or "long term compatability". It should be very specific answer like marriage, starting a family, having x amount of kids etc.
Vetting:
With vetting
you are just observing over a long period of time how she holds frame to what you qualified and screened her for and how consistently invested she is to the relationship. Its important to strategically qualify women so you can hold her accountable to those qualities. Keep an eye out for how invested she is, does she reach out to you often, does she make effort to see you, is she expressive with her feelings and affectionate to you, are you having frequent sex. Always be kind and affectionate to her especially if her compliance and investment is high. Do not play games or be aloof, if you aren't interested in her then break things off. 6 months is the minimum duration of dating before she can become official gf, and that is literally from a chick with 0 red flags or 0 bad behavior. Most women I suggest waiting 9 months to a year before you move on to official relationship, also she should be the one asking for it not you. If 4 months have passed since you started dating and she hasn't asked you where its going or dropped obvious hints then something is SERIOUSLY wrong.
Hi Steno
Excellent post, one of the best post that I've seen on Sosuave in a long time. It's refreshing to see something for men looking specifically looking for a long term relationship. I can foresee the immature trolls hating on this post because you are not focusing on pumping and dumping women.
I agree with the majority of your post although there are a few areas I would like to critique and bring a new perspective to the discussion.
Social life:
I agree women who frequent bars and clubs routinely are often low quality, they use this setting for attention, to show off their, to take advantage of their looks to trick men into buying them drinks and giving free attention. More importantly they are deliberately putting themselves in a position to get tempted by other men. There are exceptions, like a one off celebration like a friend's birthday happens to be in a bar or club. I agree smoking weed and cigarettes are a huge red flag, it smells and it's not feminine, smoking increasing ones changes of an early death, why would a man build a life with somebody who could die early due to a silly habit. Imagine having the raise kids alone because she was selfish enough to smoke her life away!
What her friends are like:
I agree her friends are a big proponent, if all her friends are settling down into long term relationships or are already married this is a very good sign because people tend to aspire to copy their friends. Likewise, if her friends are still unsettled in stable relationships and are still in the party phase of their life its going to encourage your girlfriend to commit less. Where I disagree is dismissing women who have lots of male friends, it stinks of insecurity. If you're the best catch why would she look elsewhere? Most of those men are either in the friendzone themselves. If your girlfriend has a hobby such as chess and all her friends are chess players more than likely her friends are going to be male. So you expect her to stop her hobby for you?
Ask If she's been on any dates recently:
If you've just met a women, she may not feel comfortable answering this question even, and quite frankly its non of your business as you're just some stranger. Its human nature not to settle for the first person you come across, so expect women to be selective and sample different men on dates, because you're doing the same. Her going on lots of dates is her way of vetting and screening for the best man. If the man falls short she moves on to the next date.
How long were her previous relationships and why they ended
Yes, women that can hold longer relationships prove that they can tolerate hardship, adversity and ups & downs of a relationship. Although women who have short term relationships should be outright dismissed, depending on her age there comes a point where women want long term stability.
Try to figure out the pattern of guys she dates, if all her boyfriends had anti social issues (drinking, drugs, violence), this is a red flag, possibly those men turned her on and she will soon grow bored of your normal straight-cut lifestyle.
Does she like to travel:
I disagree with you there, the best women are educated in religion and foreign culture, and travel is the best way to acquire this is to travel. You want a women who can talk about their experiences in other countries and can hold a conversation on what they learnt on their travels and the local politics. When you're at an age when your have financial means to travel (18+) you've probably outgrown going away with your parents. Obviously if she is going on holiday to sit on a beach for 2 weeks then perhaps then that isn't desirable.
Ask her what are her long term goals:
I agree, throughout your interaction listen out for keywords or nugget about wanting kids, getting married, buying a house and settling down, especially if she attaches an age deadline too. Also assess her career plans, does she have a profession already, if not she should be working towards a profession or a business. Its not so much about the money but she needs to show ambition.
Those are my thoughts, once again nice post Steno.
www.skilledseducer.com
