LTR Screening & Vetting: Strategies and Techniques

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Ok, but if the woman tries to play games with you while you're trying to bang her - despite mutual attraction - that's a sign of a selfish or damaged person. You don't want to wait until you're emotionally invested to find this out.

Ideally you want to be getting laid while you're trying to bang this LTR prospect so you're not susceptible to the common commodity of good pu5sy.

if a girl is playing games with you while you are attempting to bang, she’s not interested or doesn’t see you as a top priority and should be dropped regardless lol.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

if a girl is playing games with you while you are attempting to bang, she’s not interested or doesn’t see you as a top priority and should be dropped regardless lol.

Exactly. Which is why attempting to bang her (and also actually banging her) is part of the vetting process lol. A lot of women will still play games even when they're interested

Dealing with Passive Aggressive & Difficult Women

The following is basically a compilation of my thoughts, advice from others (Chase, Zac, Franco, Zphix, GoodVibes), along with other miscellaneous research that I have done on the subject over the past few days or so. I decided to put together an informative post on difficult women and how to...

www.skilledseducer.com

Whether you’ve been studying women and the wonderful art of seduction for years, or you are new to this sort of thing… You’ve probably encountered some women that are just not very cooperative, even if they are somewhat or even very interested in you.

An LTR with a passive aggressive or difficult woman is not ideal. A little coyness is ok but if she's constantly blowing hot and cold, brake pumping or suddenly doing weird pullbacks those are red flags that you won't find out until you're invested. And those are good tells of potential problems down the road. Not to mention quality-of-sex issues.

 

[Steno]

I agree with most of this. Especially vetting over a long period of time. First few dates people are rarely themselves.

The main thing to look out for is what she does vs what she says over that period of time, which if we are being honest there is no such thing as vetting phase. You never finish getting to know someone and people tend to change for better or worse.

I do agree that there are certain things a partner should be providing that are not givens like trust, respect, loyalty.

First and foremost, PEACE OF MIND.

Anything that is detrimental to your mental health and masculine energy needs to get ridden of.

Then there are other things that are as important as the first one. Life vision, goals, support, good sex, healthy submission, etc, etc. I wrote about this a while back but ultimately never of this counts if you do not know your worth and have solid standards:

Know Your Worth: Setting Your Relationship Standards | Modern Man Advice

Are you often stuck in unfulfilling relationships with women? Are you constantly being played? The problem might be your woman standards.

www.modernmanadvice.com

If everything in your life is about getting your d*** wet then you will always feel unfulfilled. And trust me, at the end of the day when that time comes lying on your deathbed, no car, job, p***y, watches, Instagram followers, etc, etc will matter.


Modern Man Advice

Thanks for sharing that bro, really good read!

Thank you for this topic, this is the most neglected part of dating

I agree, and btw It was you that motivated me to take screening more seriously. It was on a OLD topic you posted how you would screen chicks before asking them out.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Thanks for sharing that bro, really good read!

I agree, and btw It was you that motivated me to take screening more seriously. It was on a OLD topic you posted how you would screen chicks before asking them out.

Glad I could help man

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I agree, and btw It was you that motivated me to take screening more seriously. It was on a OLD topic you posted how you would screen chicks before asking them out.

Excellent, people need to treat OLD like shopping at Goodwill not Nordstrom. Most of the women there are dog shvt quality and you can easily pick out some dud if you don’t inspect the product upfront.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Excellent, people need to treat OLD like shopping at Goodwill not Nordstrom. Most of the women there are dog shvt quality and you can easily pick out some dud if you don’t inspect the product upfront.

Same as IRL tbh.

 

[BDDazza]

The motivation for thread is because I have been learning and field-testing a lot of things lately and want to keep track of the stuff I learned so that I wont forget. Also I want to continue learning and gathering info so feel free to share your stuff as well. Please only post APPLICABLE screening techniques and explain how you screen for what you screen for. Also keep in mind that this is for LTR only, you shouldn't care for any of this if your just trying to smash. Also this is mainly covering screening for promiscuous traits.

What I Screen for and How:
There are obvious stuff I screen for like tattoos, piercings etc that I won't mention. This is not an exhaustive list, there are infinite ways to do these things. Keep in mind that you should pay attention to the attitude and emotions behind the answers as they tend to be more honest. Also always pry for more detail get her to talk talk talk and never accept ambiguity. Most importantly, screen hard and screen fast, this should ALL BE DONE WITHIN THE FIRST DATE OR EARLIER. The questions and technical components are in blue, the red flags are in red, and if its underlined its an automatic LTR disqualifier, the green flags are in black non-bolded:

• What her social life is like: You are trying to find out if shes a party girl, heavy drinker, smokes weed/does drugs. Good LTR candidates are usually very low key and most normal women rarely if ever drink. Ask her what her hobbies are, if shes outgoing, when was the last time she hung out with her friends and what did they do, how would she describe her friends.
• What her friends are like: Figure out if she has a lot of guy friends or if her female friends are thots. Ask her to describe her closest friends that she hangs out with.
• Ask If shes been on any dates recently: This bullet point piggy back's to the next, but I've noticed that shady women tend to freeze up when trying to answer, they try to buy time by saying "hmmmmm" or by repeating the question. For example they would say something like "Well... to be honest I took a break from dating for a few months so I haven't dated recently" They will also give ambiguous answers and try to avoid, switch or redirect the question back to you before you have the chance to ask for more details. This usually means she was probably ****ing around a lot recently. A good sign is if she answers without hesitation and immediately starts describing stuff that happened on the date without you having to ask.
• How long were her previous relationships and why they ended: Keep an eye out for women who haven't been in any long relationships. Promiscuous women tend to give ambiguous, short, unclear, and generic answers as to why their relationships end. Good LTR candidates have been in long relationships and generally have good detailed and clear explanations to why they all ended. Start of by asking her if shes been on a date recently, from there transition into finding out how long was her longest relationship, why her relationships ended, what is the most common positive/negative trait in men she dates. Pay close attention to how she answers that last question, if she has a habit of dating bad men or painting them in a bad light then she most likely is very promiscuous.
• Does she like to travel: You are trying to figure out if she has gone to "vacation with the girls" to thotty hotspots like vegas, cancun, miami, etc. Good LTR candidates go on vacation with either their spouse or family members but not with a group of thot friends. Ask her if she likes to travel, where has she been, who does she normally go on vacation with, what her favorite vacation destination was and why
• Ask her what are her long term goals: Its a HUGEEE red flag if she doesn't mention anything about relationships in her long term goals or if she gives ambiguous relationship answer like "something serious" or "long term compatability". It should be very specific answer like marriage, starting a family, having x amount of kids etc.

Vetting:
With vetting you are just observing over a long period of time how she holds frame to what you qualified and screened her for and how consistently invested she is to the relationship. Its important to strategically qualify women so you can hold her accountable to those qualities. Keep an eye out for how invested she is, does she reach out to you often, does she make effort to see you, is she expressive with her feelings and affectionate to you, are you having frequent sex. Always be kind and affectionate to her especially if her compliance and investment is high. Do not play games or be aloof, if you aren't interested in her then break things off. 6 months is the minimum duration of dating before she can become official gf, and that is literally from a chick with 0 red flags or 0 bad behavior. Most women I suggest waiting 9 months to a year before you move on to official relationship, also she should be the one asking for it not you. If 4 months have passed since you started dating and she hasn't asked you where its going or dropped obvious hints then something is SERIOUSLY wrong.

Hi Steno

Excellent post, one of the best post that I've seen on Sosuave in a long time. It's refreshing to see something for men looking specifically looking for a long term relationship. I can foresee the immature trolls hating on this post because you are not focusing on pumping and dumping women.

I agree with the majority of your post although there are a few areas I would like to critique and bring a new perspective to the discussion.

Social life:

I agree women who frequent bars and clubs routinely are often low quality, they use this setting for attention, to show off their, to take advantage of their looks to trick men into buying them drinks and giving free attention. More importantly they are deliberately putting themselves in a position to get tempted by other men. There are exceptions, like a one off celebration like a friend's birthday happens to be in a bar or club. I agree smoking weed and cigarettes are a huge red flag, it smells and it's not feminine, smoking increasing ones changes of an early death, why would a man build a life with somebody who could die early due to a silly habit. Imagine having the raise kids alone because she was selfish enough to smoke her life away!

What her friends are like:

I agree her friends are a big proponent, if all her friends are settling down into long term relationships or are already married this is a very good sign because people tend to aspire to copy their friends. Likewise, if her friends are still unsettled in stable relationships and are still in the party phase of their life its going to encourage your girlfriend to commit less. Where I disagree is dismissing women who have lots of male friends, it stinks of insecurity. If you're the best catch why would she look elsewhere? Most of those men are either in the friendzone themselves. If your girlfriend has a hobby such as chess and all her friends are chess players more than likely her friends are going to be male. So you expect her to stop her hobby for you?


Ask If she's been on any dates recently:

If you've just met a women, she may not feel comfortable answering this question even, and quite frankly its non of your business as you're just some stranger. Its human nature not to settle for the first person you come across, so expect women to be selective and sample different men on dates, because you're doing the same. Her going on lots of dates is her way of vetting and screening for the best man. If the man falls short she moves on to the next date.

How long were her previous relationships and why they ended

Yes, women that can hold longer relationships prove that they can tolerate hardship, adversity and ups & downs of a relationship. Although women who have short term relationships should be outright dismissed, depending on her age there comes a point where women want long term stability.

Try to figure out the pattern of guys she dates, if all her boyfriends had anti social issues (drinking, drugs, violence), this is a red flag, possibly those men turned her on and she will soon grow bored of your normal straight-cut lifestyle.

Does she like to travel:

I disagree with you there, the best women are educated in religion and foreign culture, and travel is the best way to acquire this is to travel. You want a women who can talk about their experiences in other countries and can hold a conversation on what they learnt on their travels and the local politics. When you're at an age when your have financial means to travel (18+) you've probably outgrown going away with your parents. Obviously if she is going on holiday to sit on a beach for 2 weeks then perhaps then that isn't desirable.

Ask her what are her long term goals:

I agree, throughout your interaction listen out for keywords or nugget about wanting kids, getting married, buying a house and settling down, especially if she attaches an age deadline too. Also assess her career plans, does she have a profession already, if not she should be working towards a profession or a business. Its not so much about the money but she needs to show ambition.

Those are my thoughts, once again nice post Steno.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Where I disagree is dismissing women who have lots of male friends, it stinks of insecurity. If you're the best catch why would she look elsewhere? Most of those men are either in the friendzone themselves. If your girlfriend has a hobby such as chess and all her friends are chess players more than likely her friends are going to be male. So you expect her to stop her hobby for you?

I fully disagree because most men in a girls friendzone are either past flings or guys that would hook up with your girl as soon as they get the green light. Women will be extremely oblivious to this and act completely dumbfounded when the dude blows up in her face after his patience runs out. Unless you plan on hanging out with your gf 247, you will have to know that she’s hanging out with dudes that she has banged or dudes that want to bang her. I also know some PUA Tool will just say “act like you don’t care and hold masculine frame”….Nah to hell with that nonsense, no man needs to go through this. This is like letting your kid hangout with criminals & meth addicts and being okay with it because it’s alpha bro.

So let’s say we are in a perfect world and her friends aren’t past flings or trying to bang her. Why can’t she get female friends then? Girls have access to more hobbies and resources to acquire just hobby friends and you are telling me she cannot make A single female friend? That sounds like a huge red flag to me lol. I don’t even trust the gay male friends either because she uses him and he will also feed her toxic bs throughout the relationship about you.

Bottomline, no male friends period lol. Don’t let these 304s gas light you lol.

 

[SW15]

• What her social life is like: You are trying to find out if shes a party girl, heavy drinker, smokes weed/does drugs. Good LTR candidates are usually very low key and most normal women rarely if ever drink. Ask her what her hobbies are, if shes outgoing, when was the last time she hung out with her friends and what did they do, how would she describe her friends.
• What her friends are like: Figure out if she has a lot of guy friends or if her female friends are thots. Ask her to describe her closest friends that she hangs out with.

Reasonable first date questions. This is helpful. I think this makes for decent to good conversation.

• Does she like to travel: You are trying to figure out if she has gone to "vacation with the girls" to thotty hotspots like vegas, cancun, miami, etc. Good LTR candidates go on vacation with either their spouse or family members but not with a group of thot friends. Ask her if she likes to travel, where has she been, who does she normally go on vacation with, what her favorite vacation destination was and why
• Ask her what are her long term goals: Its a HUGEEE red flag if she doesn't mention anything about relationships in her long term goals or if she gives ambiguous relationship answer like "something serious" or "long term compatability". It should be very specific answer like marriage, starting a family, having x amount of kids etc.

Long term goals are a good first or second date question. Good to ask before sex. Travel is so-so. That's a go either way topic. Yes, it's good to know if she goes to Las Vegas, Cancun, or Miami with the goals. Do you really want to hear about her trips with ex-boyfriends or ex-husbands though prior to smashing?

• Ask If shes been on any dates recently: This bullet point piggy back's to the next, but I've noticed that shady women tend to freeze up when trying to answer, they try to buy time by saying "hmmmmm" or by repeating the question. For example they would say something like "Well... to be honest I took a break from dating for a few months so I haven't dated recently" They will also give ambiguous answers and try to avoid, switch or redirect the question back to you before you have the chance to ask for more details. This usually means she was probably ****ing around a lot recently. A good sign is if she answers without hesitation and immediately starts describing stuff that happened on the date without you having to ask.
• How long were her previous relationships and why they ended: Keep an eye out for women who haven't been in any long relationships. Promiscuous women tend to give ambiguous, short, unclear, and generic answers as to why their relationships end. Good LTR candidates have been in long relationships and generally have good detailed and clear explanations to why they all ended. Start of by asking her if shes been on a date recently, from there transition into finding out how long was her longest relationship, why her relationships ended, what is the most common positive/negative trait in men she dates. Pay close attention to how she answers that last question, if she has a habit of dating bad men or painting them in a bad light then she most likely is very promiscuous.

I don't want to ask about her recent dates. Talking about dates and dating can lead to a friend zone. I also don't want to talk about my recent dates. I'm not psyched to talk about my prior relationships either. I have never talked about this prior to sex.

6 months is the minimum duration of dating before she can become official gf, and that is literally from a chick with 0 red flags or 0 bad behavior. Most women I suggest waiting 9 months to a year before you move on to official relationship, also she should be the one asking for it not you. If 4 months have passed since you started dating and she hasn't asked you where its going or dropped obvious hints then something is SERIOUSLY wrong.

Most men get hooked on that good pusssy and declare official with a woman before 6 months. I agree on her asking for official status. Most good women will drop hints not long after a few good instances of sex.

Here are some strong indications of a phenomenal LTR candidate:

• You are her main partner for any activities in her life. She STRONGLY prefers to do stuff with you over anyone else
• With the exception of older and wiser people, you are one of her main sources of guidance and advice. She also takes coaching from you for certain things you are good at like maybe you are knowledgeable about fitness etc
• She is SIGNIFICANTLY more devoted to you than she is to her friends. If you are married or have kids with her then she prioritizes you over family as well, with the only exception being her children.
• She should be happy to cut-off people from her life without hesitation if you have a respectful and justifiable conversation explaining why it has to happen
• Her compliance to you is consistently high and there is barely any fights or drama

Agreed.

Bottomline, no male friends period lol. Don’t let these 304s gas light you lol.

I'm not a fan of women with male friends. One of the few female friends I have (doesn't even live locally and I am not physically attracted) ceased all communication with me recently due to a relationship and a jealous boyfriend. Seriously, I am the least of that guy's problems. The topic of male friends has multiple perspectives. I don't get too upset about a woman with male friends so long as I don't think it interferes with our relational development, but it's always better if she doesn't have them.

A lot of women have gay male friends.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I'm not a fan of women with male friends. One of the few female friends I have (doesn't even live locally and I am not physically attracted) ceased all communication with me recently due to a relationship and a jealous boyfriend.

That’s usually the case for most male friends.

 

[SW15]

That’s usually the case for most male friends.

That whole episode was pretty insulting and shows how women lack honor. She ceased contact me as a friend to try to salvage a sinking relationship. I expect to hear from her within a couple months when that relationship fails. The whole thing was blown way out of proportion both by her and her boyfriend. The boyfriend saw my name in her phone and went ape**** supposedly. I am not even close to being a threat there since I live in another state not nearby at all. She also showed a lack of backbone too but she's a desperate for a working relationship mid-30s woman.

I think I'm going to no contact her when she turns up again as a friend.

As a boyfriend, I don't care who texts my girlfriend. I never look at her phone. I either trust her or I don't. If I don't trust her, I'm gone. I also know it's difficult to get out of the friend zone so her male friends aren't the biggest threats to me. I still prefer my girlfriends not to have male friends because there's too much bullshiit associated with them that I don't want in my life. If she has them, I generally won't make a big deal out of them unless she shows she's not trustworthy and I have to make it a thing. In that case, she's gone.

 

[Steno]

Where I disagree is dismissing women who have lots of male friends, it stinks of insecurity. If you're the best catch why would she look elsewhere? Most of those men are either in the friendzone themselves. If your girlfriend has a hobby such as chess and all her friends are chess players more than likely her friends are going to be male. So you expect her to stop her hobby for you?

Hey thanks for the reply bro it was a good read, let me respond to some of the things you mentioned.

Having close male friends is a deal breaker for me, if they are loosely acquainted I might let it fly but I would vet and screen the living crap out of it. The thing about female friends is that if they are ACTUALLY a close friend and not using you as a orbiter then they are attracted enough to have sex with you. I stopped having close female friends because they all eventually started to catch crushes on me and make the friendship awkward.

Ask If she's been on any dates recently:

If you've just met a women, she may not feel comfortable answering this question even, and quite frankly its non of your business as you're just some stranger. Its human nature not to settle for the first person you come across, so expect women to be selective and sample different men on dates, because you're doing the same. Her going on lots of dates is her way of vetting and screening for the best man. If the man falls short she moves on to the next date.

From my experience most women happily answer it, women like going on rants about previous relationships. I would go as far as saying that this is one of the questions that gets them talking the most, its an absolute nuclear weapon on quiet chicks it actually gets them talking. I have also noticed that women who mess around a lot usually say no but always over-explain it, so if you get something like "No, honestly I haven't been dating for a few months" then thats a red flag that shes been getting her black blown out a lot lately. If shes dating but not actually messing around she will probably say yes and explain like a normal human being why the dates were awkward and why they didn't lead anywhere.

How long were her previous relationships and why they ended

Try to figure out the pattern of guys she dates, if all her boyfriends had anti social issues (drinking, drugs, violence), this is a red flag, possibly those men turned her on and she will soon grow bored of your normal straight-cut lifestyle.

A lot of them lie or withhold a lot of information about this so its good to pry a lot when that discussion gets rolling. I have yet to encounter a woman who blames herself for being the reason a relationship ended. I mostly use this question to gauge whether shes the type of person who takes accountability for things and to set-up follow up questions like "Did you ever do anything in that relationship that you regret or wish you could've done better?" just to see if they take any type of accountability for anything. If all her answers blame the men then that is a huge red flag.

Does she like to travel:

I disagree with you there, the best women are educated in religion and foreign culture, and travel is the best way to acquire this is to travel. You want a women who can talk about their experiences in other countries and can hold a conversation on what they learnt on their travels and the local politics. When you're at an age when your have financial means to travel (18+) you've probably outgrown going away with your parents. Obviously if she is going on holiday to sit on a beach for 2 weeks then perhaps then that isn't desirable.

I agree, but you slightly misinterpreted that bullet point. Traveling itself isn't a red flag, where she travels to and with who she travels with (a group of single thotty female friends) is what could make it a red flag. I am simply looking out for chicks who visit thotty hot spots on traveling and if they go with a group of only women.

Ask her what are her long term goals:

I agree, throughout your interaction listen out for keywords or nugget about wanting kids, getting married, buying a house and settling down, especially if she attaches an age deadline too. Also assess her career plans, does she have a profession already, if not she should be working towards a profession or a business. Its not so much about the money but she needs to show ambition.

Yes, a woman who has no solid long term goals is usually short term oriented in all or most areas of life. No clear purpose in life just chasing instant gratification.

Long term goals are a good first or second date question. Good to ask before sex. Travel is so-so. That's a go either way topic. Yes, it's good to know if she goes to Las Vegas, Cancun, or Miami with the goals. Do you really want to hear about her trips with ex-boyfriends or ex-husbands though prior to smashing?

I usually get all this info from the 1st date easily, but everyone can do so at their own pace. As far as the travel topic goes, most women don't go to deep about it which is good. They just say boring stuff like that they enjoyed the food there etc. Its usually a very brief topic.

I don't want to ask about her recent dates. Talking about dates and dating can lead to a friend zone. I also don't want to talk about my recent dates. I'm not psyched to talk about my prior relationships either. I have never talked about this prior to sex.

In my opinion those are usually the best topics, women will talk your ear off about that. You should try it you will be shocked at the **** they feel comfortable saying, its also easy to transition to sexual topics from here. Not sure why you feel like you will get friend zoned, I have never experienced that.

I'm not a fan of women with male friends. One of the few female friends I have (doesn't even live locally and I am not physically attracted) ceased all communication with me recently due to a relationship and a jealous boyfriend. Seriously, I am the least of that guy's problems. The topic of male friends has multiple perspectives. I don't get too upset about a woman with male friends so long as I don't think it interferes with our relational development, but it's always better if she doesn't have them.

A lot of women have gay male friends.

I was in a similar situation twice, I refuse to become close friends with chicks anymore.