LTR girl now has serious depression

[XFORCE]

Women on any meds for mental health issues makes them a challenge to deal with I will never get involved with a women that's on meds been there done that. The meds help them function but boy does it F them up with the side effects, when the meds start wearing off. When I first met the ex she flat out told me she was on meds I never been with a girl that had mental health issues it was a learning experience I do not want to repeat that's for damn sure.

Oh man, I'm hearing more and more about medication side effects. She's the first one I've dealt with on meds (but not the first mentally ill one).

If you don't mind me asking, what part of that learning experience made you want to run for the hills?

 

[051AV]

Oh man, I'm hearing more and more about medication side effects. She's the first one I've dealt with on meds (but not the first mentally ill one).

If you don't mind me asking, what part of that learning experience made you want to run for the hills?

My ex has BPD its what made us split apart it was an ugly mess she wanted to see me pay for supposedly hurting her feelings. The meds she was on gave her side effects, nights she couldn't sleep she would get night mares, all kinds of other side effects like body odor, no interest in sex. Its time to run once she's on the toxic stew of pills she's on them for life.

 

[PokerStar]

I don't know why I do this but I always manage to bring out their crazy within the first few weeks of dating. maybe sub consciously I want to see what they are capable of and make a decision if it is worth pursuing a longer relationship.

 

[XFORCE]

The meds she was on gave her side effects, nights she couldn't sleep she would get night mares, all kinds of other side effects like body odor, no interest in sex. Its time to run once she's on the toxic stew of pills she's on them for life.

The nightmares have been happening, yes. Luckily no BO and sex has been fine. Was there anything specific that made you decide to end it or did you just have enough? Even though I really like her, I don't want to put in the time for a medicated girl that might not get better.

 

[051AV]

The nightmares have been happening, yes. Luckily no BO and sex has been fine. Was there anything specific that made you decide to end it or did you just have enough? Even though I really like her, I don't want to put in the time for a medicated girl that might not get better.

Give it time with the meds the side effects will mount up and they will become noticeable. As for me and the ex she had mental illness it was hard to handle her at times we ended up parting ways because it wasn't working out as I said she had BPD. When things ended it turned really ugly between us its made me vow never to get involved with a mentally ill woman ever again its not worth it. They will never change, once they get on the medication their body gets addicted to it, if they ever have to get off the medication it can be pure hell. I don't know what your situation is like but its time to make an exit plan, keep in mind she may go ape **** on you all I can say is good luck.

 

[XFORCE]

Give it time with the meds the side effects will mount up and they will become noticeable. As for me and the ex she had mental illness it was hard to handle her at times we ended up parting ways because it wasn't working out as I said she had BPD. When things ended it turned really ugly between us its made me vow never to get involved with a mentally ill woman ever again its not worth it. They will never change, once they get on the medication their body gets addicted to it, if they ever have to get off the medication it can be pure hell. I don't know what your situation is like but its time to make an exit plan, keep in mind she may go ape **** on you all I can say is good luck.

Thank you for the insight, sir. We just started going out over the summer when I was excellent but once school began, she's a 180 degree different person. I've been tolerating the new personality for the last two weeks and it's time to call her out on her behavior. I really like her and it'll hurt should we part ways but I've survived breakups before. I wouldn't want to be burdened with this much longer as the stress and angst are killing me.

 

[exhausted]

Thank you for the insight, sir. We just started going out over the summer when I was excellent but once school began, she's a 180 degree different person. I've been tolerating the new personality for the last two weeks and it's time to call her out on her behavior. I really like her and it'll hurt should we part ways but I've survived breakups before. I wouldn't want to be burdened with this much longer as the stress and angst are killing me.

Let me guess she said she suffers from "anxiety and depression"?.
That is code for personality disorder..
i dealt with it for years it only gets worse over time.. consider all you will give up in life to stick around with her..
Hate to sound nonempathatic but these disordered women will ruin your life in every way no matter how hard you try to help them.

 

[XFORCE]

Let me guess she said she suffers from "anxiety and depression"?.
That is code for personality disorder..
i dealt with it for years it only gets worse over time.. consider all you will give up in life to stick around with her..
Hate to sound nonempathatic but these disordered women will ruin your life in every way no matter how hard you try to help them.

Yes, I found out as a fly on the wall during a conversation with her mom that she casually mentioned going on SOMETHING (I don't remember the name) that her doctor recommended. I immediately googled it sitting on their couch and it was a mood stabilizer

I haven't heard any disorder success stories so far so I'm with you there, brother.

 

[051AV]

Let me guess she said she suffers from "anxiety and depression"?.
That is code for personality disorder..
i dealt with it for years it only gets worse over time.. consider all you will give up in life to stick around with her..
Hate to sound nonempathatic but these disordered women will ruin your life in every way no matter how hard you try to help them.

Yep its not like fine wine, deal with mental health women don't usually get better with age.

 

[exhausted]

Yep its not like fine wine, deal with mental health women don't usually get better with age.

They get worse. I wasted 3 years.
The problems they cause over nothing are astonishing..
they cause so.much stress and anxiety you ask God to take you off this earth for relief at times..
no matter what you do and how much you try there will always be a problem. This goes against human nature.
In real life when you do something right there is no negativity..

With these girls you do things right or are good and are punished for it. It is unreal

 

[exhausted]

Yes, I found out as a fly on the wall during a conversation with her mom that she casually mentioned going on SOMETHING (I don't remember the name) that her doctor recommended. I immediately googled it sitting on their couch and it was a mood stabilizer

I haven't heard any disorder success stories so far so I'm with you there, brother.

Go read my posts and examples..
it is ourltright terror at times.

I wish a npd or bpd cluster b on no one..

 

[Reykhel]

without even reading the thread I'll tell you this...

shoe was on the other foot and you'd be gone.

WEAK MEN ARE NOT TOLERATED IN TODAY'S SOCIETY

WEAK BIATCHES ARE SYMPATHIZED IN TODY'S SOCIETY

 

[Billtx49]

I immediately googled it sitting on their couch and it was a mood stabilizer .

Stabilizers are usually prescribed for bipolars, but you probably know that by now from her actions.

 

[051AV]

They get worse. I wasted 3 years.
The problems they cause over nothing are astonishing..
they cause so.much stress and anxiety you ask God to take you off this earth for relief at times..
no matter what you do and how much you try there will always be a problem. This goes against human nature.
In real life when you do something right there is no negativity..

With these girls you do things right or are good and are punished for it. It is unreal

LOL isn't that the truth, my ex caused me a lot of stress when she really ramped things up she wanted to see me pay for what I did to here holy crap I never seen a woman so vicious. She would constantly pick fights with me she loved drama, things would be going along okay, bam out of now where she would start a fight it would be a good one, she would stop talking too me. Anytime I asked her if she was okay I would get the " I'm Fine" I knew damn well she wasn't. The guy she's with now bends over backwards to make her happy, he spends thousands doing it, as I've said before I'm pretty sure he's an NPD so they are feeding off each other.

I'm not sure if they get worse or they try to hide their issues till they know they have to locked in, with my ex I think I brought her ugly side out of her early because I'm not a guy she could control. With her new man he didn't see her ugly side of her until a good 6 month into the relationship how did I know I could see the stress in him build up. I even said to her does he know about you she said he knows enough.

She's out of my life that's what matters the most I doubt I will ever hear from her again, it was one hell of a ride I wouldn't ever want to repeat again.

 

[XFORCE]

Stabilizers are usually prescribed for bipolars, but you probably know that by now from her actions.

Yes.. As the stress is mounting up from school, she's been on the semi-depressive side for a couple of weeks. I cannot imagine what she'd be like without the stabilizer.

 

[XFORCE]

They get worse. I wasted 3 years.
The problems they cause over nothing are astonishing..
they cause so.much stress and anxiety you ask God to take you off this earth for relief at times..
no matter what you do and how much you try there will always be a problem. This goes against human nature.
In real life when you do something right there is no negativity..

With these girls you do things right or are good and are punished for it. It is unreal

This is everything I was afraid of. I've only been through two weeks of this and I'm at my wit's end. I shall reading your posts and regarding them as holy writ, sir... Thank you.

 

[Three]

XFORCE, I agree with much of the above and, believe me, I have dealt with crazy. I was married to a hot, young BPD for more than 3 years and the experience literally nearly killed me. Crazy women are totally to be avoided at all costs. You simply cannot deal with them and keep your sanity.

With that said, this girl is going through a really tough time that would stress anybody. If you really like her, give her a chance to get through this patch and see what happens. Back off a little, spin a plate or two, if you like, and give her some space without entirely cutting her loose. Things may improve quite a bit once she is through this.

A couple more points:

There are many possible jobs for someone with a law degree. These days many are employed by corporations and have a vastly different work experience than the big law firms. In fact, there are many who work a typical, fairly low stress, 9-5.

Doctors prescribe medications like candy these days and it's a fucking crime. I mean that literally. A general practitioner has absolutely no business prescribing any psychoactive drugs and should have his license suspended immediately. Regardless, it's legal (in the US) and many doctors do it thinking that everything is chemical and can be fixed with a pill. Couple this with the pedestalization of medical professionals and you have a disaster that we see every day.

So, what I'm saying is her doctor put her on these meds and she's desperately looking for a way to ease the stress and pain she's going through. This will pass and hopefully the meds won't be a long term thing.

This calls for a cautious watch and wait from a polite distance.

 

[Three]

kinvavy - I feel your pain, man. I've been through a ten year marriage with a manipulative, domineering woman who was the master of backhanded compliments. Then I had a 3 year marriage with a BPD. Then I had what I can only describe as a nervous breakdown. I get it. Crazy sucks.

I would still give her a little space to see how things play out. It's so rare to find a woman with enough good qualities to keep around.

A woman I dated once told me that you could only hope for 80% of what you wanted in a mate and that that was enough for a good relationship. I don't know if that's exactly true, but there is definitely some truth in it.

 

[XFORCE]

XFORCE, I agree with much of the above and, believe me, I have dealt with crazy. I was married to a hot, young BPD for more than 3 years and the experience literally nearly killed me. Crazy women are totally to be avoided at all costs. You simply cannot deal with them and keep your sanity.

With that said, this girl is going through a really tough time that would stress anybody. If you really like her, give her a chance to get through this patch and see what happens. Back off a little, spin a plate or two, if you like, and give her some space without entirely cutting her loose. Things may improve quite a bit once she is through this.

A couple more points:

There are many possible jobs for someone with a law degree. These days many are employed by corporations and have a vastly different work experience than the big law firms. In fact, there are many who work a typical, fairly low stress, 9-5.

Doctors prescribe medications like candy these days and it's a fucking crime. I mean that literally. A general practitioner has absolutely no business prescribing any psychoactive drugs and should have his license suspended immediately. Regardless, it's legal (in the US) and many doctors do it thinking that everything is chemical and can be fixed with a pill. Couple this with the pedestalization of medical professionals and you have a disaster that we see every day.

So, what I'm saying is her doctor put her on these meds and she's desperately looking for a way to ease the stress and pain she's going through. This will pass and hopefully the meds won't be a long term thing.

This calls for a cautious watch and wait from a polite distance.

Thanks for this. It's actually the exact point I'm at. I talked to her last night and some other stress-related ailments popped up. It's like one thing after another.

 

[Roober]

Women don't $hit test...
Women are just women...

They talk to talk and reason things out themselves. They don't want your $hitty solutions, nor for you to push them away, nor do they want you to ignore them. This is not a $hit test, it is merely a difference in values. That is where you need to determine if you want to continue with this woman. If she wants to have a baby and you are unwilling (or unable) to do that, you need to communicate that. When she does not feel your love, her love begins to wane.

Do you still fvck her like you did on day 1?
Do you still uphold the same standards for yourself?
Is your career still progressing?
Do you still have a purpose?
Do you still fvck with her? neg her?
Are you the same man she fell in love with?

Read between the lines and help her fix her problems.

Does she want a solution? no!
Does she want her own kids? Sounds like it
Are your kids sufficient enough for her needs? Probably, but not with your approach
Does she want a man that can handle her emotions? you bet!

Just let her talk, actively listen, and then let her know you understand.

DO NOT...
-offer a solution
-Tell her to go fix it herself
Those are solutions for a man who is incapable of riding the waves of women's emotions, and often struggle with relationships in general

These are relationship and communication failures, plain and simple. This is not a woman looking to test you and see if you will buckle.