Low Self Esteem

[mahon83050]

Do you guys really believe a shy, low self-esteem, depressed man is more of a turnoff to chicks than an ugly man?

 

[VeryBadGirl]

Most often, they are one in the same. Sadly, being ugly often translates into low self-esteem or depression. Even at a young age, kids who are "different" are teased and made fun of.

A shy, low-self esteem, depressed man will almost never approach a woman. But, an ugly man who has managed to gain enough confidence to actually ask a woman out has an edge over depressed guy. By actually asking woman, there is a chance that they could say yes. Depressed guy doesn't even get that far.

[This message has been edited by VeryBadGirl (edited 08-09-2002).]

 

[TKDude]

Well first you have to quantify ugly. And also take into account individual preferences of women.

But as to shy, low esteem, etc. men. It does not matter if women are turned on or off. Basically they wont approach women, and as we all know women never approach.

So basically whoever initiative wins notwithstanding the womans preference. If you are Ugly (but not too ugly) but make an effort, you will win out over a brad pitt clone who hides in the corner. Hell the woman who leaves that night with the ugly guy may have preferred to go home with that cute shy guy. But she will leave him in the corner rather than walk up and introduce herself.

 

[the_gunslinger]

very bad girl, your right in recognising that their one and the same. my thing is, im an ugly ba$tard, but im used to it, hell, even as an AFC i had a few girlfriends. i think it is all about confidence. i am now going to tell you about somethings that happened to me while i was an AFC that really shot my confidence to ****. i havnt told many people about these but what the ****.

i was bullied by peers and so called friends since i was 10 for many reasons. the main ones being the way i look (which is never an issue for my real friends, but just for wankers with no prospects) but also for other reasons, such as the fact that im irish and christian living in a place that is dominated by protestants who, because of all the crap in northern ireland, automatically assume im some sort of terrorist. also, because i do well at school, that automatically qualifies me as an alleged geek. the way i look at it is like this, look at where i will be in 5 years. in a high paid job with good money and, perhaps i might be able to body build, learn about art, take up taekwondo or something like that. where will the hatas be? probably working on a factory production line or asking "do you want fries with that"
for me, part of the Dj process has been a build up of confidence. although i lack the confidence to do a cold hit and club hits are a big no-no, i dont let people walk all over me anymore. gone are the days when i would have 30 or so people would kick me so far down i'd go into a 2 month depression and freak out. sure, im still ugly, and that wont help in a club, but, lets be honest, as i and others have identified, people go to clubs to get their ego's massaged by guys. i guess if there was a guy rating, looks wise, im a 3 or a 4. ut what the hell, you have to live with it so its just a case of getting on with it. basically you will find this, the uglier guys make the best DJs and i will tell you for why, because they arent complete egotists and will be able to make use of the tips on this site and will be able to work the system, not just rampage blindly through it.
i will admit that my confidence was shot to such a degree that i did try to kill myself. on top of that, i self harmed regularly and i was on prozak for 6 months, but, honestly, its all better now because i came to terms with what i;d been born with, which, isnt terrible, on a good night i might pass for a 4.5, but usnt great. confidence is always the winner as far as i can see. take this example. my mate Mushy is built like a rubber ball, yet he is so at ease with himself and others, that he can suceed as a DJ easily, whereas my friend eddie is always described by my female friends as "a good looker but a complete W*****". are you starting to see my point? the point is that confidence is the key, we know that, through thew system, women are turned on by their ears and depend less on their eyes, a bit like the way a dog relies on its sence of smell. women want a challenge and most of the good looking guys i know have no personalities and are just completely and utter clones of each other. you'd get better conversation out of a spoon. hope this helps.

 

[mahon83050]

Do you live in England gunslinger?

 

[Don_juan]

good for you gunslinger, glad you didn't go through with the killing yourself over some idiots comments.

wish you well in your quest.

 

[the_gunslinger]

yeah, i live in englan, north yorks to be precise

 

[mahon83050]

I was in York, England last September. Lots of cool history up there, especially York Cathedral and the Dungeon.

 

[the_gunslinger]

ah, i live in leeds mate, york is a nice place tho, thinkin of movin there after i've been to uni

 

[mahon83050]

i guess you live in Yorkshire

 

[killerasp]

if the ugly guy is fun and outgoing and is what the girl is looking for other than looks, i dont see why she would choose the shy and depressed guy.

 

[KingBeef]

One questions to ask you, "the_gunslinger."

You said you were very ugly, physically...in what way?? facial features? body? something about you that sticks out like a sore thumb?? you can't be THAT horribly looking.

 

[wise_mage]

may u please send me a picture of urself gunslinger so I can know how u rate beauty?
my e mail is canemadness95@yahoo.com
by the way, u might only be ugly compared to the actual western standards of beuty , but u are a beautiful unique creature never the less. only downpoint is that doesnt get u women cause we are all brainwashed by the television into having a very strict definition of beauty. by the way, Im a good looking guy, an 8.5 or a 9 and honestly I have a unique personality.

 

[the_gunslinger]

to all those who've responded, thanks a lot, i will send people pics of myself as soon as i get my scanner installed, but for those wondering, think the male version of jade from big brother in the uk. head of a pig.

 

[MysteryWoman]

Originally posted by the_gunslinger:
to all those who've responded, thanks a lot, i will send people pics of myself as soon as i get my scanner installed, but for those wondering, think the male version of jade from big brother in the uk. head of a pig.

I worked with Jade a few years ago, she's really a sweet girl. Not as stupid as she makes herself out to be.

 

[Unbridled_1]

bump

 

[Janez]

Funny guy is hardly ugly. Because when you see someone having fun, even if he actually has ugly face, you feel his aura, carizma or whatever.

Girls pick ugly guy over shy. Shy guy is the last wanted.

For all the shy guy out there. If you go through DJ training, one day you want be shy. And that day the fun will begin.

 

[donny osmond]

"I worked with Jade a few years ago, she's really a sweet girl. Not as stupid as she makes herself out to be."

"Isn't East Angelia in Spain?"

 

[jakethasnake]

East Anglia is in South Eastern England. Just North of London. It's that little round bit that sticks out into the North Sea. The Cliffs of Dover are there, I believe.

 

[SlyDonJuan]

A guy can be ugly........

But he will get girls because his mindset is right. He has the confidence and etc to go for what he wants. Unfortunately, a guy who is depressed , low self esteem and shy won't go far even if he is good looking. But don't forget, even if a guy is not depressed, he may be low in his self esteem and shy.

Low self esteem and shyness are not something you want to have. If you're a shy guy, you really need to get your confidence up before doing anything. Basically, I think you should turn the situation around. Instead of thinking you're the shy person, make it sound as if the girl is shy. It is a good way to boost your ego. Try it out. It works.

Hope this helps.