Low Self Esteem

[es_mer8]

the_gunslinger, I was once called ugly all the time as a kid. They were morons who in hindsight were uglier than I but as a kid I took it, pathetically enough. I began to believe it. I was told by my dad that nobody wants a fat kid and so on. He was fat until about my age when he realized it was time to get up off his fat ass and start losing weight; kind of like what it is now and he eventually went off to win at least 10 powerlifting meets. So basically I was told by people in life that I was never attractive.

If I could rate myself honestly, I'd give myself a 6. I feel once I lose about 40 pounds in fat weight, I'll give myself a 7. Once I start getting buff, I'll rate myself a 7.5. Once I get great shoes, new wardrobe, whitening strips, cologne, and contacts, I'll rate myself an 8-8.5. I do believe I am attractive but not at this current state. Thats why I've been losing weight for nearly two weeks and I fully intend to continue. I lost 6 pounds last week and I hope to lose 4 pounds this week so I can go down to 240. By the end of June, I could probably get down to about 220 because there won't be ****ty school lunches and I can have access to the best food to help me lose weight. This stuff motivates me and I believe I am attractive. I don't believe; I know.

 

[MysteryWoman]

Well they are equally as bad as each other. Personally I would choose a depressed guy over an ugly guy. It is easier to get over depression and lack of confidence than get cosmetic surgery.

 

[InLawsHateMe]

If it's either ugly or depressed.. I'd pick neither.... due to the simple fact that I ain't hard up for it, and there's others that ain't ugly and depressed out there... after all, life's too short to date anyone from the bottom shelf.

 

[MysteryWoman]

Originally posted by InLawsHateMe
If it's either ugly or depressed.. I'd pick neither.... due to the simple fact that I ain't hard up for it, and there's others that ain't ugly and depressed out there... after all, life's too short to date anyone from the bottom shelf.

Good point!

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Thanks MW.

 

[Aztec]

Originally posted by MysteryWoman
I worked with Jade a few years ago, she's really a sweet girl. Not as stupid as she makes herself out to be.

Can you or anybody post a link with a picture of Jade?

 

[FlyGuy]

So judging by this thread ugly people are just fvcked - nobody wants them except other uglies. What a great world we live in, God must have a fvcked up sense of humor or something.

 

[es_mer8]

Originally posted by FlyGuy
So judging by this thread ugly people are just fvcked - nobody wants them except other uglies.

Unless you're wealthy...thats pretty much true

 

[FlyGuy]

So why are there people that still insist that you can work on your game and still bag beautiful women "even if you're ugly" because supposedly women care more about personality? Is this just a case of wishful thinking? What's your take on it?

I personally think that women judge you based more on the whole package and that you can improve your odds by working on game - even if you can never fully make up for looks. Maybe I'm wrong? Help me out here ladies... be honest! What matters the MOST?

 

[Laid in 60 seconds]

one of my biggest problems in life:

I can't decide if I am ugly or just plain cool beautiful whatever

I have days when I consider myself ugly and I behave like depressed people do

then there are days when I think that I'm da man in looks department, but then people say or react like I'm full of myself, and full of ''impressions'' (don't know how to translate this - hope you understand)


there are days when women (street, bus, school..) stare at me like I'm the coolest sh1t they've ever seen, and then are days when I'm completely ignored

actually only older women stare, the ones that would matter only peak


how do I find the truth ? ugly or handsome/beautiful ? I know it shouldn't matter, but I'm restless because of this

don't say hotornot

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Originally posted by FlyGuy
So judging by this thread ugly people are just fvcked - nobody wants them except other uglies. What a great world we live in, God must have a fvcked up sense of humor or something.

Lets be for real here Flyguy.... honestly.... if a woman is butt ugly, would you sleep with her? I mean, she doesn't take care of herself, lousy personality, would you sleep with her?

 

[FlyGuy]

Dude I'm in the same boat... losing my hair at 25, I've since shaved my head and focused on getting a better body. But basically I have no idea how good looking I am. I know I'm not the classic hunk, but I don't think I'm butt-ugly either. To complicate matters, people have different opinions on what is attractive in looks. So how do you find out? Can't help you. There is no absolute method to know if you're a 5 or a 6 or a 6.4 or whatever. Some chicks may say you're an 8 while others say a 4. What you have to realize is that the knowledge itself doesn't matter as much as you think. What kind of difference would it make if you knew you were a 7 for example? Would that mean you can only go out and look for girls that are 7s themselves? All you can do is work with what you've got.

I say screw trying to know what your exact rating is. In the end it won't change much unless you are butt-ugly or a perfect 10, and in either case you should be able to tell. If you're a perfect 10 you will get more attention from the ladies without working much on your game. Just pay attention and be honest with yourself. If you are average, some chicks will think you are cute and others will think you are ugly. That's just the way it goes. Go out there and go for what you want, if they respond then you know they like you. End of story.

 

[es_mer8]

So why are there people that still insist that you can work on your game and still bag beautiful women "even if you're ugly" because supposedly women care more about personality?

It happens but you got to have the balls. Being ugly is a big factor that works against you in life but the thing is, the majority of people are ugly. There's nothing you can do about ugliness unless you dress well, get buff, and have charisma. That makes you a lot more attractive. Women can look past the face and to me, if a girl has an amazing body, I can look past their face as well.

What's your take on it?

My take is that having an ugly face does work against you but not as much as people would believe. I think that if you have yellow ass teeth thats crooked, zits all over your face, and a piss poor haircut or you are poorly groomed, that makes you uglier. If you're fat, pale, and have no desire to get better looking, that makes you uglier. If you dress in poor hand-me-downs and hardly take showers or reek of BO, that makes you uglier to women. Having an ugly face is not the end of the world. Get great clothes, wear cologne, shave, have a great haircut, keep yourself well groomed, be tan, and all that, you can be attractive to women. I think that wearing some kick ass sunglasses can also help out if you got an ugly mug.

 

[FlyGuy]

"Lets be for real here Flyguy.... honestly.... if a woman is butt ugly, would you sleep with her? I mean, she doesn't take care of herself, lousy personality, would you sleep with her?"

I'm being real. I didn't disagree with that premise... it still sucks though for the people who are ugly. Its not like they did anything to deserve it. Oh well, life isn't fair.

 

[FlyGuy]

es_mer8: Right on

 

[Unbridled_1]

Every girl is different. For some chicks, it's all about looks and if you aren't her ideal type then you won't get a foot in the door. For other chicks, they may be more about personality, and you just have to meet a minimum standard (clean, decent grooming...) and then they focus on the personality. It's different for each girl, it just means that guys that aren't stunning looking have to be more persistent.

 

[MysteryWoman]

As for saying Jade is a sweet girl, I wasn't going on about her looks (Jade from Big Brother), she came across as a nice person to work with.

Looks are eye of the beholder to an extent. But if you want to be objective of what is considered to be good looking, look at the guys and girls in vogue magazine. They are all real 9's or 10's.

Thing I can't understand is that some guys are suprised that women don't like ugly guys, when a lot of them do not like ugly women. The answer is if you want to turn someone on, treat you're body like a temple, work out, make the best of what you have got and cut the junk food.

For every rich ugly guy who has bagged a model, there is a young handsome gigglo hidding in the background.

You don't have to be stunning, just make the best of what you have got. All ugly people can bring themselves up to average unless they are disfigured.

 

[Ian1983]

Uno question:
If you've got a muscular body and slim face, but are relatively shy and got the odd spot on your mush (face for americans ), what will women make of you. Will they look at the face and think 'maybe not', or look at the body and think 'maybe' (mind you, don't generally walk around with my shirt off when I'm out and about). Or will they approach, and when they don't get much of a response (if I'm taken under awares and not in a talking mood, I mainly grunt or talk quietly/mummble).
20 btw, so not a kid...well physically, mentally a 13yr has a better developed social attitude.
*shakes fist in air*
"Damn you boys school"