Love shy

[Jeremymichael]

I have a dilema, I have a date on Thursday with a good looking girl. Unfortunately I am ashamed of my body, however I am doing something about and working out, however at this stage although I'm in better a shape I am a bit embarrased about taking my shirt off. Do you have any suggestion, just in case it
gets physical on the date. I was thinking about if possible just having a snog and leaving it at that. In a weeks time I will look better. Also anyone recomend any good self tanning creams, I am bit pale looking, not to desireable

 

[B9]

You will NOT look significantly better in one week's time. Might feel beter though.

Don't worry about it. The only shameful thing about it is if you think so and it shows.

 

[bp1974]

Placing a heap of importance on looking better in a week isn't going to help you, it will only make you feel more self-conscious on the date. If anything's going to put her off it'll be you acting like you don't like yourself. So don't put yourself down, no humorous self-deprecating comments, and let her explore you for herself. Let her decide, don't reject yourself before giving her a chance.

If she flirts with you and gives you every sign of wanting to get physical, trust that she's going to like what she sees, even if you don't right now.

 

[chlywly]

Women are concerned less with looks than men are, they arent as ciritical, I wouldn't worry about it, as long as you have confidence you own that ****

 

[Jeremymichael]

well we met last night at 8-30pm. We were planning to play squash but decided to meet for a drink. Well guys never go for really attactive girls. Half an hour into the date she started to get hit on by a guy who had seen her in a bar. He stayed for about twenty minutes. When he left she said she doesn't like men like that. Then her cell phone went off and she chatted for ten minutes, then these two guys turn up. She seemed genuinly not wanting the attention, be she is a blond bomshell. I decided to
leave after a while cause it was going nowhere. Brown hair, pale
skin soulfull women for me now

 

[bp1974]

Hmm.. Ok..

You haven't said why you thought it was going nowhere, other than she kept getting pestered by guys. I'm confused. Were you thinking that ebcause she had all these guys coming round to hit on her that you wouldn't get a look in? The fact is, she was there with you. Did she behave like she didn't want to be there with you?

I wonder how often that happens to her. She meets a guy she genuinely likes, arranges a date with him, and then he gets scared off because of all the unwanted attention he sees her getting. And she thinks it's a shame because she really wanted to get to know that guy, he just didn't have the confidence to realise she was there with him for a reason. I imagine it's quite common if she was getting as much attention as you say.

If it were me, I'd want another shot. I don't know how you left things after the date (it was definitely a date, right??), but I'd call her, and say to her that I was unsure how things were going because of all these other guys clamouring for her attention, it's not something I'm used to on dates. Does that happen to her all the time, and does she want to go out again?

 

[Aisle55]

She chatted on the phone for ten minutes while she was with you? It's a good thing you left cuz that's bulllllllshiet.

 

[LoneRanger22]

It sounds to me like this girl is floating away on her own cloud of conceded silly gas. She needs to be grounded, wheather you have the strength conviction to bring her down to earth is not a question i can answer.

1) Forget your apearance, as stated above if shes on a date, then you have passed the apearence test. Keep going to the gym regularly as you are already. God knows the senior girls voted me the hottest guy and it certainly hasnt done a thing for me.

2) If you left her on the date, its your obligation to call her assuming you want to.

3) Now the bigest peice of advice, if she is being chased by other guys and you feel that just maybe she could be tucked under YOUR wing if treated right, then what a great confidence builder that would be.

 

[Mr. Latte]

What did you do when the guys hit on her?

 

[Jeremymichael]

Well it was a date in my eyes. We had decided to have a game of sqaush, but she suggested going for a drink. I got there early and
had a pint whilst I was waiting for her. She was about 10 minutes late. On entering coming over to me, immediately a girl stopped her and said Hi Martina how are you etc. Two minute conversation with her then she came over to me. She was driving so she was drink a soft drink. So I started talking and listerning to her as you do, then suddenly this guy comes over, and starts chatting her up. He had seen her in a club a week early, tells her how gorgeous she is etc, and using all the corny one liners. She chats to him and I just join in being friendly. Eventually he leaves and we continue the conversation and she is asking me open questions, then the damm phone rings. Oh hello yes I'm in the pub with Jeremy, oh not tonight I am bit tired etc. Then twenty minutes later these two guys come in and start talking to her, kiss on cheaks etc. Anyway they want her to go to a club. Cutting a long story short I lost interest and said I needed to meet a friend in another bar and said I would see her at the weekend if she was working (She works in a bar). Bottom line is that it was never going to work really in bar where she knows people. The only good thing is that I was seem talking to a very attractive women who came to see me. But she is high maintenance!

 

[Jeremymichael]

will be in bar tonight, she will probably be there. Do you think I should just play it cool?. I'm not going to mention squash again

 

[becker]

Boy, what a crappy situation. I can't believe you sat there and let these guys just hit on this girl while you were out on a date with her. I would have definitely said something, but just make sure you act cool enough so that you don't get all emotional about it, otherwise you come off as jealous and insecure.

I would talk to this girl about the situation, and see what she says. It seems that if she's a very attractive girl who has guys all over her, but she's out with you, there's a reason for that. She probably finds you attractive in some way, and it's really up to you to show that you are all the man she'll ever need.

 

[Jeremymichael]

yes it was a crappy situation. Feel down on my game today, went to a club last night and got nowhere, whilst my mate got off with a girl. I will get my mindset right before I go the bar and stay focused

 

[becker]

What about trying to meet women at places other than bars? I never go to bars or clubs to meet women because there's just too much freakin' drama at those places. I guess it's just not a place where I see myself meeting the girl of my dreams.

However, if you insist on going to those places, more power to you, good luck. Try to meet women at like malls or places where you might be able to strike up a conversation with them about clothes or something they usually love to talk about.

This girl you were with should probably be NEXTed, even though I normally don't like to do that to any girl.

 

[Jeremymichael]

as far as I am concerned she is nexted. Just don't want to show I'm bothered by not going to the bar, plus there is live music so its a good place to hang out. I tell you what is weird for me in the
past when there has been romance in the air, the girl has showed me lots of eye contact. Today if I meet a girl there has been no initial eye contact just me being more confident in my conversation and taking the lead. I really think I'm more suited to
dark eyed girls, anyone seen Helena Bonham Carter in there local bar?. I do try other places than bars, but I am always pre-occupied with work during the day

 

[AMF]

Originally posted by chlywly
Women are concerned less with looks than men are, they arent as critical

If you believe this, youre just plain stupid.

 

[Jeremymichael]

Just a quick update, in the bar on Sunday. She mentioned badmington, but also she has met a new bloke who seems to be the man of her dreams. Well I decidec to book the court and sent her a text message saying confirmed for Tuesday at 7-20pm asgreed. Heard nothing from her for two days so I have cancelled. So next!

 

[Mr. Latte]

Actually, I think men are less concerned with looks than women are. Men tend to make "allowances" for things like personality, fun, etc.

 

[Jeremymichael]

thought I would give her another try and we agreed for tomorrow night another game of squash. I called today and got her voice mail, didn't leave a message, do you think I should call again?.

 

[Dude]

Why are you calling so much???

I may have just misread, but it looks like you called her and set something up for tomorrow, and then called her again later? Is so you're calling way too much man.