Oh, I get it.
Actually, I think that that particular strategy was a pretty good one. After all, it DID force the issue somewhat. But now that it has, it doesn't seem like either of you used that as an opportunity to "come clean' about your expectations in this relationship.
Which begs another question:
Were you EVER in a "formal relationship"? Did either of you (preferrably HER) ever bring up the question of exclusivity? Because if not, after all this time (almost 2 years), that leaves SO MUCH wiggle room for both of you.
Not many men on this site, and "maybe" even on this particular forum will tell you this, but after a certain period of time, ALL relationships have to be DEFINED.
Becuase if they are not, what two people ONCE considered "keeping their options open" then turns into living a life of "relational UNCERTAINTY". And once that happens, what used to be lighthearted and fun turns into a game of powerplays, deceit, half-truths, ambiguity, and ultimately ...HURT FEELINGS.
Fukk buddy, friend with benefit, and similar types of situations have a shelf-life. AND, if either the woman or the man actually wants MORE----and the other person doesn't, then the end is only a "better PROSPECT" away.
Today, many people persuade themselves that they REALLY are "comfortable" living this much-publicized, NONcommital lifestyle. But quite often, the truth is that they AREN'T.
As evidenced by their sudden REVELATION that they have HURT FEELINGS-----due to the EXISTENCE of an underlying emotional connection that they fought SO hard to avoid from the start.
There are MANY guys here that deny the legitimacy of the bonding experience that sex and repeated exposures to a particular woman can bring. But to me, this is a mask that they wear to hide the fact that they FEEL the "tearing away" effect at the end of these types of initially "casual" couplings.
SOME men, whenever this happens, tend to call EVERYTHING Oneitis in order to soften the blow in an attempt to reframe it----or to call it "ANGER", instead of what it REALLY is sometimes:
GRIEF.
Because, you see, "grief" is a word that is ONLY associated with a sense of "loss", when something is taken away from you, or----when something DIES. And the only way a person can feel LOSS is when he knows that on some level, THAT something actually "existed" beforehand.
And that something that "existed", many times IS a "RELATIONSHIP".
No matter what form it has taken, and no matter by what name it was called, a DEFINITE bond previously existed.
That's why I ask whether or not you two ever defined the nature of your relationship? Because if you haven't, that could very well be the catalyst of the confusion, the emotional upheaval, and that forboding sense of loss that you are experiencing right now.
Peace...one day.
