Lost her forever...read if you shall

[Legend]

This is the second time this happened with the same girl within a two year time span. For now on, once something ends with a girl you are seeing, please keep it that way, it will never work out. It was always an open relationship.....to her but not to me

Holy shyt...i am the biggest fvcking fool around. I can not believe how badly i messed things up. The writing was all on the wall and i saw it, but did'nt want to stop want i was doing. I thought i was in good shape but i lost my cool and lost the girl i have wanted for the past year.

We have known each other for the pass two years and it was love at first sight for me. Everything was going well until i noticed a change in her. Instead of me playing my cool and acting colder than her i was all over her wondering why. why why why i wondered. The answer is because she does'nt want me anymore or ever did probably. She told me that has never had feelings for me and wants nothing to do with me. She said she loves someone else, never wants to see my face again, and cant be friends with me. I really would'nt want to be her friends after this though.....i cant be friends with girls i want to fvck...i cant control myself.

I have played every game on this girl and i wasnt willing to put up with all that game shyt again, so i guess this is why i lost my DJ skills. I am a fool for caring about a girl that never liked me and that is'nt even attracted to me. We hooked up and hung out all the time and things felt very good. In the end which was today, she kicked my to the crub and drove off. Sure this sucks for me but this an end to one of many chapters in my life.

Things i did wrong:
Always available for her
always called her back
always wanted to know what she was doing
always saw her way to much
showed my feelings and expressed how i felt
called to much maybe
stopped being interested in other girls
used to much kino.......
Loved being around her
tried to hard to make it work
allowed her to treat me bad
lost my backbone over puss
told her i loved her
did'nt smash her fvcking nextel
allowed her to come back into my life and hurt me after i nexted her last semester.
broke up with my other gf to get with her....so really lost two girls.

The good things that come from dating this girl that stabbed me so many times. She looks like a flower but stung me like a fvcking bees nest would.

Now i know where me and her stand
No more of her games and shyt
No more wondering
Get to try and get other girls
More time for me (running, lifting, studying)
Focus on other things
No more let down feelings when she does'nt call, or cancels a date.
No more of her stupid fvcking nextel
No more hearing about the other dude she says she is in love with.
No more of her stories about how many other guys want her.....
No more of me caring about a ***** that does'nt deserve me

Things i will miss
the way she tasted
the way she smiled
the way she use to touch me
the way she spoke
having somebody to do things with
the way she laughed
having someone to talk too
being around a sexy female



In all honestly she was never good to me and always tried to bring me down, she said i was to ****y. Which is a lie.....I just feel like such a fool because i did everything wrong. I told this fvcking girl i was in love with her!!! I was in love with her!!?@!@ I cant believe i said that.....that is the worst thing you can ever do. I knew i should'nt have said it but it just happened and i cant change it. She said nothing....nothing, it was like i did'nt say a word. She said she loves this guy in the army and will never want anything to do with me. She said i cant see you anymore because i will be cheating and i dont want to cheat anymore. I actually think this girl may be insane because i think she has done this to a lot of other guys. She is a natural DJ and put me into a state where i can't think.

I am very hurt because we have done a lot together and i just feel like a piece of shyt because she has somebody and now i have lost her and have no one else. I played all my cards wrong and got jealous about this army dude. I put my pride on the shelf in order to get some puss many times with her. I would call even if she did'nt return a call. I knew i should'nt have done that but i almost could'nt help it.

I did all the shyt i knew i was not suppose to do. But at the time i really did'nt care that i was doing all the wrong things with her. I tried and it did'nt work out. She said she gave me time and i blew it. She belittles me like i am a fvcking wuss. I accepted her poor treatment. She said that we cant even be friends which i dont mind because that would just make me more of a AFC hanging around a girl that would maybe give me a bj once in a blue moon if she felt like it. She said we cant be friends because i said i was in love with her.

I just feel like i ruined everything....by the stupid way i acted. I lost my cool and lost the girl i have wanted ever seen i set my eyes on her.

Sure everything heals with time and i will find other girls but the thing is i am hurt now and want her, not other girls. The best thing i must do is just cut all contact with her and say to myself she is dead, because after this she might as well be dead because she will never look at me again.

In the end guys, i fell in love with a girl that never truly could of ever would love me in the same way. Always enjoy the time you spend with the girl you are currently seeing because if i could go back and start fresh with her again i would do so many things differently.

i am going to miss not waking up with a glazed donut face...hahhah

i am going to miss not seeing her

i am going to miss not knowing what she is doing

i am going to miss no being a part of her life

Chalk this one up on the black board and move on johnny. You can't raise the dead and this girl is basically dead. She straight up told me she has nothing more to offer me. She allows this other guy to brain wash her....this has all happened because he was home for 3 days about two weeks ago. Things have'nt been the same since he came home. I am hurt....i really am

I should have known it would have ended the same way between me and her........you cant force a girl to love you. She said two people have to feel the same. I do, she does'nt. Ouch......love is a hurtful thing and has'nt been something that has never been on my side.

I will be taking a break from dating other girls for the rest of this semester and will start fresh during the spring semester providing i have enough time do to school work.

I need time to read the bible again, i need time to get my grades up, i need time to get back in shape, i need time to get my life in order and my money back up. I call this reloading for the next chick. I want to be ready....i want this old girl to see me with a new chick and her to realize i no longer have the time to deal with her.

Master Don Juan Legend? Just because i have over 500 posts does'nt make me d1ck. I am only human

I fell in love with a girl that could never love me..........johnny boy you fvcking fool.

Their really is no questions here to respond to, its more of me thinking out loud. Comments are welcomed and no need to bust on me. I already know i did a lot of fvkcing things wrong. I am just afraid i wont be able to get over this girl because i really do think i was in love with her.

Also on a side note....after this convo i had with her i wanted to tag this bytch one last time and said, let me at least put a smile on your face and do you like you need to be done. she said that she will never do that even if i was the last guy on the planet and she would never do anything that would please me again.

She really fvcking hurt me and what is worst i see her a lot around campus.

The question here is....what the hell do i do if i ever bump into her in person or when i am out....what if she is with that other guy which she says is better looking than me.

She also always mad fun of me because i dont go out much because i am always studying. I am a pre-med student and i really dont have the fvcking time or energy to go out as much as i would like. My classes are hard and i really should be focusing on my exams coming up but this fvcking girl really got to me bad. i will not allow it to get in the way of my grades and my future. She can be replaced and will be replaced.

Anyway i am going to hit the books now as she goes to work. She is a bar tender and has her head in the fvcking clouds. All this dip shyt guys are always hitting on her telling her they can give her the world. Well they can have this dirty wh0re because i no longer am interested in the devil. I thought i was smarter than this...but in the end the puss will always win.

Thanks for any comments. My rant

-John

 

[legolas]

Wow!!! I'm going to save this thread!!

Hang on buddy. What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. I don't know where I heard that. My advice is to let it all out instead of squeezing it in. Let it flow like a river, even if you have to cry ( don't BS me that men should be strong. We all have emotions) Let it out slowly until it doesn't matter anymore.

 

[legolas]

If the b!tch tries to sting you again spewing jealousy at you, the only to survive is to grow thick skin. When she spits her venom on you, you just say "cool" and keep walking. The other thing that you can do is to laugh HARD when it happens and keep walking.

 

[Starman]

OUCH!

If its any consolation, I think every guy or girl here has felt this way, and has been dumped .. its a part of life, and the game of love is never fair

This chick sounds like a stupid cvnt, typically when break ups occur, the other person tries to do it gently to be sensitive of the other persons feelings..but this whack job sounds like she was intentionally trying to hurt and demean you (probably because she feels hurt and rejected herself)

2ndly..in a few years , you will be a doctor..ad raking in the cash & byatches will be flocking to you..while this piece of trash will be barefoot and preganant and being slapped around by some goofball..

THANK GOD and DESTINY that this chick wont be there to make the rest of your life miserable

peace

 

[Legend]

Thanks for the heads up. It is just a horrible feeling knowing that this girl is fvcking other dudes when she knows how badly i wanted her. It truly sucks and i cant seem to stop thinking about her. She made her choice and the best thing i can do is live with it and move on in a different direction. Thinking about it is actually making me sick to my stomach. I really cant seem to stop thinking about this and about her....i actually feel like something is fvcking wrong with me. I have been this slump for to long now. Nothing seems to make me happy. I lost face in the human race.

 

[Slickster]

I don't know if you've read this before.....

Best Revenge Ever on the EX that dumped you.


I sometimes think there should be a section in the DJ Bible for break-ups. Alot, and probably most of the guys are here for that very reason and it would be good to know how to handle things properly.

Anyway this post deals with the aftermath. What to do after your heart was stomped on.

Maybe she cheated, found someone else, or just needed space. You're pissed as many guys are when their heart gets ripped out. Alot of guys turn into women hating bastards. You feel like punching the wall, or his face, or even hers.

So what's the best REVENGE!?

Screw as many chicks as you can? Mess up her car? Beat up her new boyfriend? Light her house on fire? Throw acid in her face?
(Just kidding about the acid. Read that somewhere on this forum)

No. Although these things might be fun and make you feel better for a minute or two, this is not the right type of Revenge.

The Best Revenge Ever on the Ex that dumped you is simply, LIVING WELL.

Living your life to your best capability.

What a slap in the face it would be for your ex to run into you down the road and there you are, better than you've ever been! Kicking a$$! on the rest of the world. Kind of like "Thanks for dumping me, cuz look at me now!"

You've got a new and improved girlfriend, better job, new car, new clothes, you look great. You've got new friends, you're doing new and exciting things that you never did before. You don't even have time to stop and talk to her. Your life is better, more complete, and you are happier than you've ever been.

The above are just examples but the point is to improve yourself and your life in every possible way.

Now you'll say "But Slick, shouldn't we be doing all that stuff anyway?"

EXACTLY. That is the beauty of it.

We've all probably had our hearts broken at one time or another. We all know that feeling like you can't go on. Life seems meaningless. You feel like you'll never find another one like her. You can't eat, can't sleep. Blah, blah, blah. You end up moping around all depressed.

Well its gonna take some TIME before you can get yourself together and get back on the right track. It might be a few months, it might even be years!

But when you head out looking for Revenge in this way, you'll be WAY ahead of the game.

Now go show that B*tch!



I hope it helps.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

"This is the second time this happened with the same girl within a two year time span."

never let t happen twice it only nakes it worse - and she knew she had control over u - thus she squished your heart threw it to the floor and stomped it

you fell in love with the first time u saw her? - big mistake - your current outcone was predictable and here u r 2 years later -
just say u were in lust with her at first sight!! again she knew she could contro u from the beginning because of this infactuation

oh by the way u r not going to miss her being part of your life because she was never really part of your life - you just thought that she was in your head but in reality by your own admission she was trying to avoid you by not retuning your calls and by not reciprocating the feelings and love that u expressed to her - i guess u didnt get the obvious hints because u were blinded by her beauty and your lusts.

this was a good learning leson for u to have it will prepare u and nake u stronger for the next 50 - trust me - please dont do this again

i do feel your pain though - here is a man hug.

 

[Tkman]

Originally posted by Legend
I lost face in the human race.

If it wasn't for you and other Dj's on this site, I would never have changed and still be the same old AFC goof i always have been. Dont make 1 girl out of 3 billion girls change you because you are to big for that.

 

[DJ_Dork]

Yep, I like that advice "Live well" - do that.. make it known you are living much better than her. Usually girls can't do this because.. their ego is based on how much attraction they get from guys.

remember folks.. just because you broke up with a girl and she shows jealousy that you are looking at other girls.. don't play into the jealousy and say "Nah, I wasn't looking" just don't answer.

 

[Legend]

Thanks for all the tips and support. I feel like such a chump for letting this happen. The only problem is that i see this girl a lot...do i go about doing my own thing or avoid her? Erase her phone numbers? Delete her Screenname? Not say hi when i bump into her? Not go to the places i use to be when i was around her?

We both would study together at the lib....do i just go to a different part of the lib now to avoid her?

This girl truly hurt me and i feel like a fool for letting someone that does'nt care about me, make me feel this way.

Slick....great post dude.

-Thanks

John

 

[drixsa]

im ususally not a fan of "fake it till you make it but in your case Dr.Ix is prescribing it

dont take a semester off get right back in it.

yea yea easier said then done, but what you honestly think itll be easier in the spring?? BS

itll be 10 times harder

go make some new friends spend ime with the old ones whatever

do not be by yourself

way before i came to this site i lost 5-6 of what i thought were my close friends and a girl i thought i cared about

i sat at home for 2 weeks. it was the worst **** ever. mom and dad feelin sorry for ya, knowing yet not knowing at all

yea it sucks espically when u know that it this very moment she is getting ****ed hard( sorry to bring that on ya)

but so the fvck what?

the only reason this girl has any meaning in your heart right now is becuase she is what you are used to.

i used the gym to get big to scare the **** out of my friends and i started makin new friends/ hittin on other girls to show the old girl that she meant nothin.

when i met better cooler, nicer, guys and girls i was happy b/c i knew i was better off and so will you if you give yourself a chance

your in college right now dont waste a minute, if i could id come over and beat you til you ran outside and picked up 5 numbers but im overseas and cannot. the only person that is there for you is U.

stop moping around and go do somthing you have passion in.

for me its the gym and i kick a$$ there

i dunno what you knick or knack is but u need to find it and find it quick

so what you made a mistake?

the best DJ ever makes a mistakes, mistakes are what make you a better DJ and person

this experience will help guide you through your future relationships

so fvck this ****.

you go to the damn library and wherever else you want to go

who gives a flyin fvck is she thinks this or that about you?

shes out of the picture for good

dont try and talk to her whatsoever!

be distant and do not give her the time of day...becuase one day she may come back and they usually do and when that day happens and she calls/IM's you, you will laugh becuase you have the upper hand and you are the man, the DJ and she blew her chances once and she gets no second chance to be with you

 

[Jet Jockey]

I can totally relate. it's not easy standing by, while some other dude is fvcking her.
I just broke it off with a chick, that I really did care for ALOT. The reason was she went into territory, that was offlimits.

She ran into a "old friend". She had the hots for him years ago. They were both married at the time, so nothing happened then...but with my shytty luck it did now.

I know what time she gets tired and goes to bed. I know every weekend he is there. So at 1130pm or 12 she goes to bed. Around that time on a saturday night, The thought pops into my head.....well, they are fvcking now!!!! I'm sure she is doing the same things that used to turn me on...to him!

That kind of thinking is unhealthy. It will mess with your mind, make you someone you are not.

Let me tell you what makes it easier for me.

First of all, I stay busy. VERY busy. I am first to sign up for overtime at work...who couldn't use some extra cash right?
Second I spend as much of my free time, as I can, macking other women. So at 1130 or 12 it will be ME fvcking!!! thirdly, instead of remembering all the good times and all the sweet times etc...I remember all the shyty times. I think of the times she let me down, the times she lied to me, the times she showed up late, or she pizzed me off. That puts her in proper perspective!

You are not alone. We all have gone thru it. Its like a death...the death of a relationship...and it still has a mourning process that has to be dealt with. How long that takes depends on how long you want it to take. The best thing I can tell you, is even if you don't feel like it, get out, do something. Work more, read more...anything. Now is a good time to finish those projects you have been putting off. You need to distract yourself long enough for some time to go by. pretty soon, you'll still care, but the edge will be off it. Pretty soon after that, you'll get tired of being alone, and your oneitis, and do something about it. I have faith that you will. You are the only one stopping you. go live your life....Find a new gal..you'll have a clean slate. Won't that be a relief??? Practice what you have learned. Don't make the same mistakes..that is your challenge. when things are going good in this new realtionship, come back here still to this board at least once a week to remind yourself of what you must do....Avoid AFC tendencies at all costs, or you will be going thru this stuff again, and again. Make a mental contract with yourself, to not let that happen at all costs. Now go do it.... get started!

 

[Legend]

holy shyt.....what good information everyone is giving me. I really appreciate everyones input on how to rid my mind of this devil that has gotten to me so bad.

Its just so hard to end something with somebody that you truly do not want to see go. But in the end....it really is the best thing to do because this person is rotten evil and will never change.

 

[Bonhomme]

You're only 20!

You've many, many years ahead to learn and -- eventually -- break yourself of the bad habits.

Rome wasn't build in a day. Knowing what went wrong is the first step to correcting it.

Rant away, bro! Let out your emotions and move on to better things.

 

[TTAG]

this post is GOLD!

IMO EVERY single newbie coming here should be reading this. Basically because most people who haven't had their hearts broken dont realise how much love can really fvck you up. Then im sure we wont be getting any Newbie posts cause they wouldnt want this to happen to them and will be reading the DJ bible 10 x over!

Legend good on you. There are better times ahead, but dont wait til next semester to start getting revenge, ie LIVING WELL.

Why? I did that and thought that id be more focussed etc at a later date, but it doesnt happen the negative thoughts get you down bit by bit and then you'll find yourself in a rut, a place worse than where you are now.

So get out there, today or tomorrow latest, and to give you are rolling start do something that you have always wanted to do. Im just saying from my experience this helped me heaps. We all have a few thoughts in the back of our minds like I need to get new clothes, wanna go skydiving, get a full 1 hour massage or whatever, but keep on prolonging it for whatever reason (busy, lack of cash). get out there and do it. be a little greedy and have your own fun.

and hey I want a response from you man, regarding what you want to do to get your rolling start and mind back on track. after you do this youll get a big boost of motivation, confidence and happiness, this is what you need right now.

You better post back man as to what your doing and when. NO EXCUSES! like Nike says ''Just do it'' (a bit gay, i know, but a good idea).

 

[Legend]

TTAG, thanks for the support. I really dont know what i will be doing in the next couple of days. What i will do is avoid this girl at all costs. I truly am heart-broken and feel like pure shyt. Time will heal this wound. Right now i think its best if i just have time to myself and not get caught up with another chicks that probably will pull the same shyt as this past one.

I have about 4 weeks left of school this semester and have up coming test next week and i need to do well. Right now i am just hitting the books trying not to think of this sickness. After that i will be starting up the gym again. I will giving this girl what she wanted....which is me out of her sickening life.

There really are no other chicks i am interested in at this present time and i hope that will change. I really saw myself with this girl and feel like a nut case telling her that i was in love with her. This avoidance on my behalf is because i am embarassed.

To tell you all the truth i really dont do anything much.....work, lift sometimes, study and thats about it.

 

[Legend]

you know what seems to be hurting me the most is that i think she does'nt ever care.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

there is nothing wrong for falling for a girl - but know y u r in love with her - is it her values, her character, her principles - and this takes time time and more time

do not fall for someone so quickly until u know the complete them.

and do not fall in love with her beauty - love is deeper than that!

 

[legolas]

Legend,

I agree that you should take some time aside for yourself and heal that broken heart. Eventually you'll get over her, but NOT by simpley saying it, or covering it up. Your heart knows when you're over her and when you're just pretending.

The pretending kind is worse. Better take as much time as you can, patch up your heart, let it heal while focusing on something. Maybe keep a journal of your progress, it might turn into a "How to heal a broken heart - Stories from the frontlines" bestseller.

 

[Howie Farkes]

Things i did wrong:
Always available for her
always called her back
always wanted to know what she was doing
always saw her way to much
showed my feelings and expressed how i felt
stopped being interested in other girls
used to much kino.......
Loved being around her

Those things you can usually get away with without negative consequences IF the woman has IL in you - your mistake was to do those things around a woman who never had enough interest in the first place.

I fell in love with a girl that could never love me..........johnny boy you fvcking fool

Sums it all up really. Doesn't ease the pain though. Hopefully you won't get jaded towards all other women, just chalk it up as a learning experience. Oneitis sucks.