Lost girl after sex on 1st date. Buyer's Remorse, Auto Rejection, or Something Else?

[justaroundthecorner]

My guess would be:
- she has high sexual needs that she tends to repress/feels some guilt about it
- sex was ok for her but she had it better with her former LTR partner(s), she "O"-ed mostly because she was thirsty for sex and went no condom because she gets off on feelings of shame and guilt mixed with lust the most (which indicates she is looking for dominant man, but not necessarily in physical aspect of lovemaking only);
- going no condom in ONS screams "issues"
- she does not look for a relationship with OP (her former partner was probably more dominant and animalistic with women on various levels which would match the mormon part of the story)
- she wants to f*** around until she will find an appropriate replacement while OP has indicated "LTR needs" already (btw.multiply 6 at least by 1.67, she is already on c*ck carousel)
- she was probably not overly impressed by your status and money (otherwise, perhaps she would qualify you for STR);
- in overall, she qualified OP as ok enough for ONS with slight chance for STR and minimal for LTR before going to bed with OP, the result was ONS
- the result is actually optimal for OP, however I would suggest getting tested for STD's as her low body count part of the story is dubious

Granted, there were things I could have done better: post-sex aftercare, cuddling after, disqualifying myself too soon about not wanting a relationship after she sent her text a few days after, insisting on wearing the condom despite her initiating.

I think it would not change the overall result. I think you pulled off everything you reastically could with this female. As men, we like to think that if we would do this or that differently in particular situation, then a success would come around and IT was achievable. It is our biological and social conditioning to struggle and despite this seek success. In this case it was not achievable for you but its good for you that it wasn't. The fact that it wasn't is also your success because you need other type of female (more interested in your fortes) than her, so effect of her screening is positive for you.

 

[ruins]

My guess would be:
- she has high sexual needs that she tends to repress/feels some guilt about it
- sex was ok for her but she had it better with her former LTR partner(s), she "O"-ed mostly because she was thirsty for sex and went no condom because she gets off on feelings of shame and guilt mixed with lust the most (which indicates she is looking for dominant man, but not necessarily in physical aspect of lovemaking only);
- going no condom in ONS screams "issues"
- she does not look for a relationship with OP (her former partner was probably more dominant and animalistic with women on various levels which would match the mormon part of the story)
- she wants to f*** around until she will find an appropriate replacement while OP has indicated "LTR needs" already (btw.multiply 6 at least by 1.67, she is already on c*ck carousel)
- she was probably not overly impressed by your status and money (otherwise, perhaps she would qualify you for STR);
- in overall, she qualified OP as ok enough for ONS with slight chance for STR and minimal for LTR before going to bed with OP, the result was ONS
- the result is actually optimal for OP, however I would suggest getting tested for STD's as her low body count part of the story is dubious



I think it would not change the overall result. I think you pulled off everything you reastically could with this female. As men, we like to think that if we would do this or that differently in particular situation, then a success would come around and IT was achievable. It is our biological and social conditioning to struggle and despite this seek success. In this case it was not achievable for you but its good for you that it wasn't. The fact that it wasn't is also your success because you need other type of female (more interested in your fortes) than her, so effect of her screening is positive for you.

Thank you for the great write-up. It's reassuring that I at least probably got an "A" on the report card, and that I didn't really fumble as badly as I was beating myself up over. Yeah, I could be better on the money and status part.

Her high sexual needs and the shame and guilt aspect of it is so ****ing hot, though. I kind of believe her about the number of partners, since she only divorced less than three years ago. And she gave me details on each of them. But you're right, I'll never really know.

I just wish we could have stayed friends after that whole thing. Maybe after a few months when this whole thing has blown over?

 

[ruins]

Anddddd... she's back.

I went strict no contact for two months. Minimized time on social media. Didn't watch or read or engage with any of her posts. It got to a point where I rarely thought about her anymore, and if/when I did, there'd be little emotional impact on that thought and could brush it away.

I think she started to sense that, because she just sent me a breadcrumb post on social media. We've had a few exchanges since then about our own respective lives. But I'm just going to try to keep it friendly.

Whew, women really do have a sixth sense about when a guy is starting to seriously detach, no? It's diabolical how that works.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Anddddd... she's back.

I went strict no contact for two months. Minimized time on social media. Didn't watch or read or engage with any of her posts. It got to a point where I rarely thought about her anymore, and if/when I did, there'd be little emotional impact on that thought and could brush it away.

I think she started to sense that, because she just sent me a breadcrumb post on social media. We've had a few exchanges since then about our own respective lives. But I'm just going to try to keep it friendly.

Whew, women really do have a sixth sense about when a guy is starting to seriously detach, no? It's diabolical how that works.

Oh young grasshopper, you have a lot to learn.

No contact isn't so you they come back. No contact is so you can move on with your life and not still be caught up in this nonsense 6 months later

 

[ruins]

Haha. Don't worry @BackInTheGame78, I'm not hopeful about this at all. My mission comes first, and am going to keep assuming that this ship has sailed.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Haha. Don't worry @BackInTheGame78, I'm not hopeful about this at all. My mission comes first, and am going to keep assuming that this ship has sailed.

As I always say, it's hard to travel forward while constantly looking in the rearview mirror. Leave her where she belongs...in the past.

 

[ruins]

I appreciate it! That was my mentality to begin with, but always help to hear reinforcement.