Originally posted by CrotchSniffer
Hi guys,
My name is Chris and I used to be a chronic masturbator. Perhaps it was a nervous disorder, or a psychological condition, the point is that I could not go 5 minutes without fiddling with me twig n berries. As a result, I suffered from chronic fatigue, depression and though I did many approaches and made many female friends, I never got any pvssy.
But then one day my life changed. I was out at a club trying to meet girls and I ran into Kenny, an old friend of mine from high school. Now this kid used to be an A+ nerd. We are talking braces, glasses, awkward speech and just plain weird sense of humor. You can imagine my suprise when I saw him macking chicks left and right. The bastard ended up leaving with the hottest babe that night.
We linked up the following week and of course I had to know his secret. He refused to tell me anything and just wrote it off like it was a natural ability, but I knew better. After much prodding, I found out he had taken an interest in Kung Fu. I decided to join him one day for a class and I met his sifu (master), we'll call him Max.
Now as fate would have it, Max used to be a friend of my dad's. They served together in Vietnam but lost touch many years ago. I told him how my dad passed away 2 years ago and from that moment I felt like he adopted me as his son. He said there were no coincidences and every unexpected turn of our paths served a purpose. My dad saved his life back in Nam, so he poured a lot of attention into me. I learned some basic kung-fu moves, but the biggest transformation happened in my mind.
Max taught me all about meditation, energy and the flow of life. Eventually I came to see him as a great and trusted friend as well as a teacher. One day I told him about my chronic jerk habit and he became very concerned. He told me that I was slowly killing myself and opening all channels of my body to disease and aging. He showed me a picture of his father and asked me to guess his age. He looked about 50 so, knowing he was trying tom impress me, I said "60". Turns out the man in the photo was 85 years old. I thought he was pulling my chain, but then he asked me to guess his age. The man was in great shape, didn't have any wrinkles, if I met him on the street, I'd place him at 35, 40 tops.
He showed me his drivers license and I couldn't believe his birthday was in 1944. That makes him 61 for you mathematically challenged out there. I had to know how he and his old man did it. He told me that the answer was so simple I would laugh.
"Stop ejaculating"
What?
"You can polish the gun, just don't fire every time!"
He went into detail how man can achieve multiple orgasms by toning his PC muscles with a variety of exercises, essentially pinching his sperm tube off and experiencing the sensation of climax without actually busting the nut. He said that every time you bust, you are giving up a great portion of your life essence, this is why you feel so sleepy afterwards. If you learn to hold back, then you build a storehouse of energy and your body uses that to regenerate old cells and keep your energy levels up.
I was very inspired by all this new information and I vowed not to bust a nut for at least one month. During this period of witholding my ball cheese, I would exercise or meditate whenever I got the urge. Quite a few times I did a little jacking, but managed to control myself. I noticed that every time I did this, I had a surplus of energy and would run farther, bench more weight and be more in tune with my kung-fu training. It really was amazing.
The whole time I avoided meeting women but as the end of the month neared, my curiosity was peaked and I rang Kenny up so we could hit the clubs. The difference was staggering! Instead of standing there, wondering what to say, how to open, etc. I simply picked out a girl I liked, walked up to her and started a conversation, about ANYTHING...it really didnt matter what I said because I already knew what I wanted. First I wanted to see if they were cool, then if they knew how to dance, then if they would like to continue having fun at my place or theirs.
I got 3 numbers that night and ended up going home with one of the bartenders, a fine little asian thing. The dry spell was broken, and in the middle of us getting it on, I remembered the teachings of Max and refused to bust one with the new chick. She got off a number of times and I could tell it was driving her crazy that I hadn't nutted at all. She became obsessed with me over the next few days and I finally gave her what she wanted the following weekend....damn it came out like Old Faithful....so much nut she was swimming in it!
She was hot , but I had to let her go because she developed a stalker fixation on me and it got tiring. Over the next few months I hooked up with more women than I had my entire lifetime. Every single one of them became obsessed with the fact that I would not let them pop my cork every time. This simple piece of advice changed my whole life!
I know I am probably not taken too seriously on this forum, and trust me, I would much rather have it that way. But if there was one serious tip I could pass along to you DJs it was this one. Hope it proves as enlightening to you as it did for me.
Regards,
The Sniffer
