Life is harder for short guys

[DJinTraining06]

Anybody 5'6'' or under here? I'm 5'6'' and i've noticed guys under 5'7'' dont get the respect that taller guys do. I see all the wall street guys on my train ride to work every day and its amazing they are all over 6', most even taller like 6'2'' and above. I look at the big shots at my job, they all tower over me. Not really any short US presidents either. I know you gotta deal the hand your dealt with and life isnt fair, but it still really sucks. Ive noticed if your short but really good looking or your really funny or soemthing that makes u special, then u get just as much respect as anyone else. but if you're short and just an average joe - average looks, not all that funny, just average like the 5'10'' guy next to you, well then you get sh*tted on throughout your life and people just refuse to take u seriouisly. I'm so sick and tired of people just thinking they could dismiss me or disrespect me cuz im short. Im 28 and a cowroker said i should use the kids urinal the other day when a few of us were in a public bathroom. Now i wanted to beat the living sh*t out of him but then id lose my job. I cant say anything to him like shut the f up cuz then everyone else would just laugh cuz they respect him more than me, so i just had to laugh it off and say haha very funny.
A tall guy never has to deal with stuff like that in his life. I am never impressed with successful tall men, because they never got picked on in grade school, high school or ever unless of course they were fat ugly or nerds (which can both be changed, shortness cannot). They never were made to feel inferior, people always take them seriosuly, and they therefore can focus on the more importasnt things in life. People like talll people, and its much easier for tall guys to get ahead in life. Short guys gotta fight and fight and contstantly prove themselves. Wy should I have to prove myself to anyone besides myself?

Any other short guys care to chime in? I'm only asking for guys under 5'7'' to reply. Taller guys can reply too, im curious to here both sides but when i say short i mean 5'6'' max.

 

[azanon]

Just do all of us average/taller guys a favor; Don't get little man syndrome or behave in any way that would suggest you have it. Guess I'm venting here a bit, but I can't stand short pricks that act that way.

I'm bringing this up because you're bringing up that you feel you don't get respect. Maybe that's how the little man syndrome starts?

The only sensible choice you have I think is to find a way to laugh it off and let it roll off your shoulders. You choose to let other people's words bother you. It's true that on average, taller guys are more successful. It is not true, though, to say that short guys can't be successful because one can find plenty of examples of that. Heck, a lot of the highest paid/most successful actors are QUITE short.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Just do all of us average/taller guys a favor; Don't get little man syndrome or behave in any way that would suggest you have it. Guess I'm venting here a bit, but I can't stand short pricks that act that way.

I'm bringing this up because you're bringing up that you feel you don't get respect. Maybe that's how the little man syndrome starts?

The only sensible choice you have I think is to find a way to laugh it off and let it roll off your shoulders. You choose to let other people's words bother you. It's true that on average, taller guys are more successful. It is not true, though, to say that short guys can't be successful because one can find plenty of examples of that. Heck, a lot of the highest paid/most successful actors are QUITE short.

Well i dont want to be an actor. Succesful actors are alos a very small segment of society. I dont have little man syndrome i try to just act like a man and it upsets me cuz i dont get treated like a man all the time. Not saying always but enough. Its not that i choose to let otrher peopels words bother me, but if im being blatelty disrespected based on something i was born with and cannot change i just think it sucks. I dont act on it believ eme, im very consieous of not trying to have a napolonic complex. i learned about it in high shcool and realized its not how i wanna end up, so i've always decided to just try not to impr4ess anybody and jsut do wats best fgor me and there are just certain a-holes in this worl, not everyone just certain guys that refuse to accept me as their equal based on a ehight difference. I wrote this post to see if any other short guys have this issue and how they deal with it or cope iwth it. im not trying to make excuses for myself or whine about it, im just kinda bummed about it o be honest with u and id like to hear some others perspectives on it. Liek u say learn to laugh it off and let it roll off my shoulders. Well thats true i shouldnt care what they think, but guys who i think r a-holes, alot of other guys have no problem with and are friends with. I find that i've had to say to myself about so many people in my life - "well he's not gonna be a friend" cuz of some blatent disrespect that they gave me or them just making it clear i am not their equal and one of the guys cuz im a shrimp to him. I mean ok im exxagerating a bit i dont mean to sound dramatic, my life aint that bad, i have a good job, make good money and have a gf, but respect has been the one thing i have always been missing in my life. I get it from some poeple, but not enough people in my opinion and i dont think i act differently then other guys who are taller that never get that treatment.

 

[DJinTraining06]

True, the really short guys 5' 3" tend to think they're hot sh!it.

Well can u blame them? It's a coping mechanism. Basically its eat or be eaten. If ur a really short guy u have 2 paths in life. You can either be what ive become a guy who puts up with disrespect or a guy who becomes kind of an a-hole as a way of preventing disrespect. You can't be a nice easygoign confident relaxed guy when your short. 5'8'' 5'9'' sure u can, but not 5'6'' or below. like i said if ur really funny people will love you but if your not anything special ur nothing if your short. If i tried to become a manager at my job sure i may get it if i try hard enough but i will be abused for sure. I see it right now. the short managers and ugly managers get no respect. The good looking tall ones r soemtimes incompetent and people never say nutting about them, its just how it is. im not complaining im just saying its the way it is.

 

[azanon]

Well can u blame them? It's a coping mechanism. .........You can't be a nice easygoign confident relaxed guy when your short. 5'8'' 5'9'' sure u can, but not 5'6'' or below.

Again.... I think you should strive to find a way to pull it off. You're worried about the comment in the bathroom, when you should really be worried about the conversation that occurs when you're not around.... the one we have about "you" having little man syndrome or what you call that chip on your shoulder (psst.... it's the same thing).

Wanna stick out as an unusual short guy? Next time someone makes the urinal comment, come back with the quip, "sticks and stones, biatch.... sticks and stones" and genuinely laugh.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Again.... I think you should strive to find a way to pull it off. You're worried about the comment in the bathroom, when you should really be worried about the conversation that occurs when you're not around.... the one we have about "you" having little man syndrome or what you call that chip on your shoulder (psst.... it's the same thing).

Wanna stick out as an unusual short guy? Next time someone makes the urinal comment, come back with the quip, "sticks and stones, biatch.... sticks and stones" and genuinely laugh.

but i dont have little man syndrome. not in any way. aside from posting this on sosuave i never show this chip on my shoulder to anyone. your right theres a chip on my shoulder, a huge chip but i never show it. I try to be a happy go lucky guy which i naturally am, and its like certain guys wont have it. they refuse to allow me to be one of the guys with them. it eats away at my happy go lucky attittude and makes me question everythign i say or do. i soemtimes wonder if maybe im just a jerk and dont know it cuz it seems like theres been alot of people in my life who take pleasure in embarassign me when im nothing but nice to them and or just minding my business. I dont make fun of others much, im not a know it all, or overly sarcastric. I think im just an avergae guy with average flaws. Like i said its usually just a select few a-holes that make me feel this way, but they are well liked a-holes and i cant defeat them, verbally, im not that witty. I try to be and i dont get laughs like they do, i just hear crickets. So r u saying i should strive to be funny? like i said it sucks that i have to to strive for that, while tall guy has his mind on more integral things. but beleive me i dont give off a little man complex at all, and i feel alot of tall guys love to belittle and disrespect me, and its almost as if they enjoy embarassing me in subtle little ways sometimes no so subtle. Im not overly nerdy or ugly or antyhing. Im just an average guy. Im a little quiet but i know guys twice as quiet as me that are taller and they r never belittled.

stick and stones biatch? really? i would be laughed at for 10 mintues if i said soemthign corny like that.

 

[DJinTraining06]

I just remembered something that happened to me 4 or 5 yrs ago. I was at a comedy club with a bunch of friends, having a good night we just went to dinner, walked to the comedy club and got there a little early. So we decided to go into the bar next door for a drink in the meantime. Now theres a ton of people in front of the comedy club waitign to buy tickets, and as i opened the door to the bar next door, this one guy goes "look the midget is going into the bar!"

he said it so loud that everyone turned around and alot of people were lauhging. i was with a group of friends and one of them was a girl who i had a thing for and it just crushed me. I was completely demasculated in front of my bros and my female interest who i seemed to be hitting it off with. it was a nice night we all had alot of laughs over dinner, and all was goingn well and again i was posioned by short jokes.

How would u have handled that? The guy was about 30 feet away so it wasnt like i could just tell him to go f himself. id have to scream it liek he did and brign even more attention to it at a time that i just wanted to crawl in a hole from ebarassment. now i guess i really should have ran over to him and beat the living sh*t outta him. But theni lose cuz ill be arrested and ill have ruined my friends night and lost the girls respect. There is nothing i could have come back with verbally to win that one, maybe for a person more gifted with words and humor, but not me, i am, not that quick. i coudlnt come up with anything believe me i was trying to think of something and i had nothing, he was tall, had no big apparent flaw to make fun of. What should a real man do in that spot, kick a** or be silent and act like he didnt hear it or heard it but doesnt care? wat would u do? its a lose lose in my opinion.

 

[theprestige]

but i dont have little man syndrome. not in any way. aside from posting this on sosuave i never show this chip on my shoulder to anyone. your right theres a chip on my shoulder, a huge chip but i never show it.

You think you don't show it but it comes out somewhere... the fact that its somewhere in your head probably means its being projected outward somewhere. We had this short guy(Im talking 4ft 10-11) on our crew team in college who was our coxsun( the guy who yells orders at the team) and we loved the guy, and he was a badass. If you're conscious or worried about something, others pick up on it, no matter how well you think you're hiding it..

All I can suggest to you is to work on different aspects of your life, perhaps meditate, so that it REALLY doesn't get to you. Once your way of thought changes so that you really don't care if they do it ( and I mean REALLY, not just you saying to yourself in denial "I don't care" and then getting pissed off at any comment afterwards) the comments will stop, and/or you won't care- either outcome is great.

Work on doing exactly what you want in life- reaching your goals one at a time. Look at this as a blessing- this opportunity is allowing you to examine your inner self and realize that you are not on stable ground, that your confidence is shaky in some parts. Work on that- that's the real problem. Most people don't really get to see how much of their own self-esteem and self-respect depends on other's approval- you've been given a mirror to look at yourself here. The outside act is just a manifestation of what's inside, remember that.

Once again, I suggest meditation, but to each his own.

Hope that helps...

 

[Atom Smasher]

It just p*sses me off to no end that people would treat you like that. It's a cowardly way for them to feel superior, as you probably already know.

I wish I had an answer for you. How do you dress? Are your clothes always well-fitting? Sometimes the way we dress can make up for disadvantages. There are usually ways for a man who's slightly shorter than average to minimize that perception by wearing certain patterns, and above all else, being impeccably neat, even in a casual situation.

I was just looking at some classmate's pictures in facebook tonight, and I notice that there were 2 or 3 guys who stood out as successful and commanding respect... They were the ones who were dressed impeccably.

Maybe you can compensate for those fools' stupid perceptions by improving your wardrobe and the way you carry yourself.

 

[DJinTraining06]

You think you don't show it but it comes out somewhere... the fact that its somewhere in your head probably means its being projected outward somewhere. We had this short guy(Im talking 4ft 10-11) on our crew team in college who was our coxsun( the guy who yells orders at the team) and we loved the guy, and he was a badass. If you're conscious or worried about something, others pick up on it, no matter how well you think you're hiding it..

All I can suggest to you is to work on different aspects of your life, perhaps meditate, so that it REALLY doesn't get to you. Once your way of thought changes so that you really don't care if they do it ( and I mean REALLY, not just you saying to yourself in denial "I don't care" and then getting pissed off at any comment afterwards) the comments will stop, and/or you won't care- either outcome is great.

Work on doing exactly what you want in life- reaching your goals one at a time. Look at this as a blessing- this opportunity is allowing you to examine your inner self and realize that you are not on stable ground, that your confidence is shaky in some parts. Work on that- that's the real problem. Most people don't really get to see how much of their own self-esteem and self-respect depends on other's approval- you've been given a mirror to look at yourself here. The outside act is just a manifestation of what's inside, remember that.

Once again, I suggest meditation, but to each his own.

Hope that helps...

I hear you, but then im gonna have a pretty lonely existence cuz if u stiop caring what others think then arent you just distancing yourself from everyone? There is nothing i hate more than taking disrespect but sometimes u have to if u wanna keep ur job and not get fired for beating the crap outta someone at work. i hate that i have to even think about this stuff. i wanna just relax and worry about importasnt things not this nonsense.maybe your right maybe people are picking up on my insecurities, but i tell u, i recently started some classes for my job with other coworkers and was feeling good about myself and comfortable with all of them and i let my guard down and i was pushed right back into felling like crap about myself cuz of my height. i swear i was noithing but postive happy and relaxed when classes started and this one guy has made me miserable and i feel he has turned the others agaianst me. once disrespect is out inthe open for a particular operson everyone else then chimes in its just human nature.

 

[DJinTraining06]

It just p*sses me off to no end that people would treat you like that. It's a cowardly way for them to feel superior, as you probably already know.

I wish I had an answer for you. How do you dress? Are your clothes always well-fitting? Sometimes the way we dress can make up for disadvantages. There are usually ways for a man who's slightly shorter than average to minimize that perception by wearing certain patterns, and above all else, being impeccably neat, even in a casual situation.

I was just looking at some classmate's pictures in facebook tonight, and I notice that there were 2 or 3 guys who stood out as successful and commanding respect... They were the ones who were dressed impeccably.

Maybe you can compensate for those fools' stupid perceptions by improving your wardrobe and the way you carry yourself.

Yea i never really worry too much about appareance. i mean im noit a slob but i dont dont go out of my way to look well dressed and neat. i guess i could use every advantage i can get

 

[Trader]

True - most guys in business are tall

But check out the CEO of the Private Equity firm, Blackrock - he is 5'6

I am 5'5 3/4

Short guys are at a disadvantage but the truth of the matter is, everyone has some disadvantage somewhere

What about the average guy who is born into a broken home?

What about the average guy who suffers a freak injury?

No one has it perfect. Some guys may have more advantages than others, but think of it this way

Everything is from God

Some guys were *blessed* in a lot of areas, maybe they were even blessed in areas that you lack, such as height, well that is good for them. Seriously, you should be *happy* for them. Think about that long and hard.

You need to take the focus off of those guys, and focus on improving yourself. Your goal is to be happy and live the best life you can.

Also - some people have reported a way to grow taller (after puberty) without surgery. This method is free. If you are interested, PM me. I am currently trying this method myself, but I myself have not seen results yet, though many already have grown 2 - 3 inches taller.

 

[ssj4halo]

stop thinking about something you cant change. There is no point. You are wasting your time and energy. Its best to just improve another area of your life. Just accept it for what it is and move on.

Be grateful man, there are lots of people who don't have it as good as we do. People don't have food on the table for dinner, broken limbs, mental retardation, etc. Instead of staying in a negative state and dwelling about what we can't change, try to accept it and just focus on things you can change.

Another thing you have to realize is that most short people think this is a BIG problem. however, there are some short people who are pretty damn successful. Do you know why? Because they don't think being short is bad. Now realize that we are IN THAT GROUP. we are that minority that has the knowledge that height isn't that big of a deal. Now take that into consideration and become that minority of short people that become pretty damn successful.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Tall guys get picked on too if they are weak, anyone does. I have seen plenty of tall skinny kids get bullied. I am tall and had a short kid once try to bully me. I hit him in the mouth. Other kids saw his blood and left me alone.

The midget comment at the bar is pretty rough. I know that has got to be upsetting and difficult to laugh off. I would probably walk over and mess with the guy, at least with words. There's a 95% chance that his eyes would get wide with fear, he would fall all over himself apologizing, and then offer to buy you a drink. Most people won't fight back when picked on, and most bullies know that; they don't want to fight, either. I would encourage you to always fight back, but do it with words whenever possible. If he calls you a midget, walk over to his table and point out in front of his woman that he must have a complex over his tiny d!ck. Give her your condolences. That is not against the law.

Speaking of law, learn your self defense law. Some states have a duty of retreat, where you have to try and run first before you can legally fight back, even when a guy swings at you first.

And speaking of fighting, learning that would help your self-confidence a lot as well. You will find that being short is not a disadvantage in fighting. A lot of UFC fighters are not tall at all. Most wrestling champions are not tall and thin. Judo is nearly impossible to master as a tall man; short squat people have a big advantage. When you know that you can beat a guy in a physical fight, it makes it a lot easier to go and kick his ass with words.

 

[user43770]

Nobody's perfect. I take a lot of sh1t for my receding hairline, but I usually laugh it off. There's a thin line between jokes and insults. Learn this line, and never let anyone patronize you.

 

[02hero]

It just p*sses me off to no end that people would treat you like that. It's a cowardly way for them to feel superior, as you probably already know.

I wish I had an answer for you. How do you dress? Are your clothes always well-fitting? Sometimes the way we dress can make up for disadvantages. There are usually ways for a man who's slightly shorter than average to minimize that perception by wearing certain patterns, and above all else, being impeccably neat, even in a casual situation.

I was just looking at some classmate's pictures in facebook tonight, and I notice that there were 2 or 3 guys who stood out as successful and commanding respect... They were the ones who were dressed impeccably.

Maybe you can compensate for those fools' stupid perceptions by improving your wardrobe and the way you carry yourself.

This is good advice ^

I'm a short arse too 5'7 and the way you dress does make a hell of a difference to the way you feel about yourself and the way you're perceived by others.
A mistake a lot of short guys make when buying clothes is to go for say a medium when they should be buying a small. It's hard to admit it to yourself sometimes. I think it should be called I think I'm about average height syndrome.

Anyway here are some tips on how to dress if you're on the short side;

Don't wear round neck tees or sweaters (never turtle neck), go for a v neck instead (not a too deep v neck though). This makes your neck look longer. Polo shirts also work (never button the top button, unbutton 2 for a casual look)

Never wear horizontal stripes (chuck out all your belts too, you don't need a big horizontal stripe cutting you in half as well).

If you are wearing a cardigan or a suit jacket never wear one with more than 3 buttons, and never go for anything that's double breasted. Also a suit jacket with side vents looks great for a short guy. And don't have cuffs on your trousers/pants ever (makes your legs look shorter). Go for flat front pants, or no more than one pleat.
Your tie should be a slimmer tie than usual, no more than 3 and a quarter inches wide.

Don't wear baggy jeans, stick to a straight leg/more fitted cut. Forget about boot cut as you don't wanna wear boots, they make your legs look shorter anyway.

Don't wear any coats/jackets that hang longer than the midway point of your thigh.
Vertical stripes are cool but don't over do it. Plain colors are your friend (try not to contrast your upper body color from your pants too much).

Always tuck your shirts in or get them shortened by a tailor if you want to leave them out. They are too long if they hang over your back pockets.

If you are wearing shorts, wear them above the knee, never wear 3/4 length.

Have a short hair cut, shoulder length hair or longer will make a short man look a lot shorter.

Don't wear too many accessories. Maybe just a nice watch.

It's all about the fit man, ill fitting clothes on any person no matter what their height is never a good look. Hope these tips are some use to you.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Nobody's perfect. I take a lot of sh1t for my receding hairline, but I usually laugh it off. There's a thin line between jokes and insults. Learn this line, and never let anyone patronize you.

Well thats the thing i consider myself a smart guy or smart enough and i know when something is a joke and when something is beyond a joke an patronizing if not down right insulting. The thing is whenver i try to come back with words i dont get the response of laughter the tall guy does. If i say anythign back even a lighthearted funny insult thrown back at him its perceived as im all upset and getting defensive and i get laughed at. If i downright get angry and say shut the f up i get called a tough guy and peope tink i have littme man complex. If i start a fight i get fired from work and look like a psycho who cant take a joke. My point is tall men dnt have to deal with this so they have no idea. who knows if they would be able to come up woith wiotty enuff stuff to combat that eitrher. It aint easy when nobody respects u. ive noticed some tall guy say stuff that harly funny and people laugh out of respect and cuz people like to laugh. Nobody wants to hear funny stuff from me. It never works. i make my gf laugh and my friends laugh, but starngers or cowrokers that im not friendas with dont respect me oiff the bat. i mean yea iguess ill work on my appeartance ill hit the gym and dress impecabbly all the time, but there are tall guys that are outta shape and that dress like slobs and nobody belittles them

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

Give us a fvcking break!

The only thing that is limiting you is what's going on in your head.
Don't try to find excuses like height, weight etc. They're just that: excuses to justify the lack of a winner mentality.

Unless you're on the extreme of those, it's all mental.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

^^^

I'm 5'6 or 5'7, somewhere in the middle. Honestly, the only time I EVER even think about my height is when somebody complains about how unfair it is to be short.

It's all in your head.

Regarding people saying sh*t to you about your height in public, just treat it as another AMOG incident and reframe accordingly.

The dude that called you out in front of the bar was obviously insecure out something, otherwise he wouldn't have felt the need to put somebody down like that.

so he was grabbing some quick social approval by saying

"Look at that really short guy."

In order to reframe, you have to take the implied message:

"You are inferior because you are short"

And flip it around, right back at him, playfully if at all possible, and put him on the hot fukking seat. You can do that by taking various of his sentence and throwing them back in his face and let him look foolish. Guys that tend to shout out "look at the midget going into the bar" usually can't come up with much in the comeback department.

Some ways take apart "look the midget is going in the bar"

smile, and say "Yea, later this midget will be going into your girlfriend," while pointing at yourself, and immediately get a high five from somebody, laugh out loud before he gets a chance to respond.

Or

"Only a guy with midget intelligence would say something like that"

Or

"Hey, look there's the guy that's headlining the midget penis show tonight at the comedy club"

Or

"Oh, are you scared of midgets? I've heard of people being scared of clowns, but never midgets."


the trick is to say this without any hint of anger or resentment. Just laugh like it's really fun, which it is.

If you really want to get into this, have a look at something called "sleight of mouth," and think up everything in your past that anybody ever said to you about your height, and reframe it like above. You'll be ready next time.

You'll only need to do this once or twice to learn that people who say sh*t like this have no mental capacity to back it up, and they suddenly won't bother you any more.

It's like they are identifying themselves as mental midgets, or self-confidence midgets.

That sounds like new age hooey, but it's the truth.

You've been short your whole life, and you're gonna be short the rest of your life.

You can either spend your time finding evidence that it's a liability, or spend your time finding evidence that it's an asset.

It's up to you.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Give us a fvcking break!

The only thing that is limiting you is what's going on in your head.
Don't try to find excuses like height, weight etc. They're just that: excuses to justify the lack of a winner mentality.

Unless you're on the extreme of those, it's all mental.

im not makign excuses for anything, i always do what i set out to do. im just talking about the lack of respect i get along the way and the fact that it bothers me. Human beings are supposed to be social creatures, we are supposed to care what others think. I understand u dont base ur life around what others think, and i dont. im just saying it sucks to have to prove yourself to people cuz ur short. Why do i have to prove anythign to anyone. When ur assertive u have a napoleanic complex, and when ur passiver ur a pvssy. Taller guys dont go thru this and cannot relate.