These first three quotes ran congruently, I just separated them for the sake of commenting.
rascal99v said:
Highly interested women will cut out other dudes on their own. My girlfriend did just that. She had no need for other men in her life except for me. I didn't even need to set a boundary. That was what she decided on her own.
^^^This right here, OP summed it up real nicely, thought it needed another look.
Sure you're not in this category zekko?
rascal99v said:
But for other women who don't think that way, will respect a boundary if the man she is highly interested in sets one from the beginning.
In the first quote, OP said that highly interested women will cut out other men on their own. On the second he said that another type of highly interested women will cut out men only if the man sets boundaries. Oh, gotcha, different types of women. NAWALT.
rascal99v said:
There is no need for her to be spending more or equal time with other men. But these betas will allow it to go on and think nothing will happen.
key word: betas. I could never imagine myself in an exclusive relationship where the woman spends more or equal time with other men. Well I guess there's the whole work issue of guys they have to work with, not sure how you guys handle those boundaries, or do you guys just make them quit their jobs?
Danger said:
Excellent post OP.
Narcissist. Two very important points.
You are not controlling women in your life so much as you are controlling FOR the wrong women in your life.
Women will disrespect ANY man if the man allows them to. Setting boundaries is how you prevent it. The point is, she doesn't even know what the definition of disrespect is, simply because so many AFC chumps are too afraid to hold their women to any rules.
rascal is exactly right.
Any man who fails to set boundaries has a scarcity mindset and is too afraid he will lose his sole source of intimacy.
rascal didn't set boundaries with his girlfriend though.
rascal99v said:
Beta orbiters can fvck your girlfriend very easily when they have something she wants
Nah, don't think so. But maybe if you're dating an absolute worthless wh0re, then maybe.
rascall99v said:
In my College Psychology class, there was a dude who managed to steal a copy of the final. The class was very hard and the professor made the multiple choice tests extremely hard with A-E answers. The answers were paragraph long answers and you had to do all the reading, watch the films, plus read all the supplemental material to know what would be on the test.
So, the dude who stole the test was an orbiter of a chick in the class who was a solid 8. Some would call her a 9. He used that as leverage for having sex with her. If she had sex with him, he would give her the answers for entire final test. The orbiter wasn't a real good looking guy, but he used what he needed to score the lay. This chick had a boyfriend who was on the basketball team and she decided that her grade in the class (which meant not having to study for a hard final but to party over the weekend instead) was more important than her boyfriend.
She ended up fvcking the orbiter (which the dude got some video of that encounter) for the answers for the test that she didn't have to study for.
^case in point.
zekko said:
You're setting up a strawman here, because as far as I know, no one has suggested anything this rigid. No one is asking the girl to become a social pariah, she can do all the things normal people do. All she has to do is respect the relationship, that's what it really boils down to.
A highly interested woman, who respects the relationship, won't purposefully put herself in situations where there's a high chance that she will cheat. If she knows a guy wants to bang her, and she physically attracted to him, then she should not be going out with the guy. This is obvious, but if you have to set boundaries for her to not go out with this guy, then you are with the wrong woman.
Bottom line: If she knows you will leave her if she cheats, and she still cheats, then this is a low quality woman, and not for you. Boundaries may have kept her from cheating,
for a while. But the longer you stay with her, the more opportunities down the road she is going to have. You can set all the boundaries you want, you can even make her quit her job and not leave the house.....but then you'd have to watch out for the mailman. You could tell her though, that she's not allowed to say hi to him. You'd also have to watch out for salesman, but I guess you could handle that one by simply telling her to not to answer the door all together. But then again there's online issues, chat rooms.....some guy could be interesting and witty and funny, they could exchange messages, next thing you know they're exchanging emails, pictures. Guess, for that one, you could just tell her she's not allowed to go online. When I was a telemarketer (way back in the day), I'd sometimes flirt with the women, part of the sales strategy, and it was fun. So, I guess you'd have to worry about telemarketers flirting with them, guess you could set that boundary by not allowing her to answer the phone. Daily errands are out of the question, because she's not allowed to leave the house. What about if she wants to get her nails done? You could allow that I guess, but just remind her that she can't stop anywhere else.
The whole point here is that, no matter what you set for "boundaries" there are always going to be opportunities. You can curtail them for a while, but eventually she's going to be in a situation where she has to make the decision
on her own.
One day she may come to you and say: "this guy from work has two tickets to my favorite singer, he said his friend can't go anymore so he has an extra ticket and asked if I wanted to go."
That is when you say: "he wants you to come along because he wants to bang you."
Her: "no, we're just friends." (friends meaning some guy at work she talks to every once in a while)
You: "yeah, but he wants to bang you."
Her: *after hamster brain makes a few rotations* "oh, yeah, he probably does, I'll tell him I can't"
Guy at work was coming on to her, in that sly devilish way of his, however, there are no real rules, or boundaries, but there is trust. So she brings up this situation to you, you handle it by helping her figure out what is going on here. She makes the decision to turn him down. Crisis averted, and she has gained some priceless knowledge on handling these situations in the future.
Now, if boundaries were set. She probably wouldn't bring up that the guy asked her out. She would not want you to think she was violating any of these boundaries by talking to other guys. She would know the "rules" and not want you to think she was violating this by leading the guy on some how, so she wouldn't mention this to you, she would hide it. However, she would turn him down though, but on self-reasoning that she's turning him down because those are the rules. And in her mind, she would be thinking: "I can't go out with a friend of mine from work to see my favorite singer for free, because my boyfriend said I can't hang out with other guys"
In the no boundaries way, she's turning him down because she's making a decision (with some help and guidance from you in this case) that she's not going to put herself into that type of situation. A situation that she could have resented you for, is now a situation that has been brought to light for what it really is, and because of this, she will now be more on guard with this guy.
Last thoughts:
This site teaches that being an orbiter will not get you laid. However, this
thread is saying differently. Why is that?