Let's talk about my ex who cheated on me, and how I want her back.

sillygoose

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roman81 said:
I met a girl and fell in love for the first time in my life, I thought the world of her, I thought the world of her. She was hot, well educated, great family, good job ect.....We moved in together after a year, after 2 years of living together I wanted to marry her I thought the sun shined from her puss y and her shyt smelled of rainbow sherbert and BUT I WAS WRONG!
When my friends and family would say negative stuff about her I chose not to listen, to cut the long story short, I eventually realized that how she was treating me was not cool and the clincher was that I found out she cheated on me with 2 dudes. I freaked out and hit rock bottom, but from the moment I found out she cheated on me I cut her off. Now she is just some one I used to know. Even thought I loved her very deeply what she did was the worst, she told me that she didn't have the heart to break it off between us and hoped that I would do it instead. Fukk me sideways how very considerate of her!
So I joined sosuave and read and read, I learned about my mistakes, I took advise from other posts, read the book of pook, did the AA challenge, i'm in the gym 4 times a week, moved to a different city, i'm spinning those plates, as for my ex...well I wouldn't pis s on her if she was on fire. It's been 7 months since I broke up with her, it's not been an easy road to recovery but i'm there bro, i'm fighting hard to be the best that I can be for my self.
So stop crying about how circumstances this and circumstances that, stop defending the bytch that stomped all over your heart with no second thought, she cheated on you bro, she told you I only texsted my ex in reality her ex was balls deep in her at that point. As harsh as this may seem it's true. At some point you became a ***** to her and she used you as a door mat, so instead of writing her letters use that time to figure out what you did wrong and what you need to do to move on and become a better man.
Thank you kindly. To be fair, I stuck up for myself a LOT when she was acting awful. I would tell her it, tell her she is being ridiculous, even got loud to her twice in six months because she was being over the top. I didn't just kiss her ass and say I was at fault. I admitted where I could have done better but told her what I thought of the situation calmly and maturely.

She didn't physically cheat - it's impossible, he didn't get back to the country until fairly recently and when I snooped in her email after the breakup she just asked him (in response to his platonic message, as if he was a homosexual) to catch up sometime. Trust me, she didn't sex him at all...now? Maybe.

She was never over him, so yeah
 

roman81

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So what's your plan of action?
 

sillygoose

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roman81 said:
So what's your plan of action?
Nothing, I suppose. Just try to forget about it. I really can't blame me as I stuck up for myself as needed, tried to support her the best I can, and I was repaid in her ****ty situation by putting unnecessary, undeserved blame on me.
 

Pimp-sicle

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Ever watch a car crash in slow motion? You blurt out "N----OOOOOOOO" but its too late?

You are definitely a lost cause for now. Your head is so far up your @ss that you can't see straight.

Please do bookmark this thread and when you have finally learned how attraction works and how women think, you can laugh at how silly and emotional you were during this time.

Also since no one else mentioned it, I'm going to say it: Strong suspicion of BPD for this chick.







PIMP
 

roman81

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Pimp-sicle said:
Ever watch a car crash in slow motion? You blurt out "N----OOOOOOOO" but its too late?

You are definitely a lost cause for now. Your head is so far up your @ss that you can't see straight.

Please do bookmark this thread and when you have finally learned how attraction works and how women think, you can laugh at how silly and emotional you were during this time.

Also since no one else mentioned it, I'm going to say it: Strong suspicion of BPD for this chick.







PIMP
Too true
 

Channel your excited feelings into positive thoughts and behaviors. You will attract women by being enthusiastic, radiating energy, and becoming someone who is fun to be around.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

sillygoose

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I hope you guys read my post on the second page of this thread. But, allow me to ask you a simple question - you're in a relationship for over two years with a girl who is stressing out extremely hard because her life is going to hell. If you put a hard foot down and tell her to stop, that's not looking good on you during the hard time she is going through. So, other than support her and hope it's a phase, what do you do?

Pimp - I suspect so, too. She was up and down all the time the last 6 months of our relationship. It was really weird. At one point, I was on the couch listening to her day and our dog went to eat something off of the Christmas Tree. I turned to the dog to make him stop, and she flipped out at me claiming I wasn't listening to her. I told her she was being ridiculous, but nothing would make her understand that she was.

It was really, really strange. Another time, and not to use the dog again, she went to hit out dog's nose. I told her previously not to do that, so she went to and I grabbed her wrist to prevent her from doing it. She yelled and claimed abuse to my face.
 

Mantis Toboggan

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sillygoose said:
I hope you guys read my post on the second page of this thread. But, allow me to ask you a simple question - you're in a relationship for over two years with a girl who is stressing out extremely hard because her life is going to hell. If you put a hard foot down and tell her to stop, that's not looking good on you during the hard time she is going through. So, other than support her and hope it's a phase, what do you do?
A normal, healthy adult can handle stressful times without sh*tting all over their relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend.

You seem to keep forgetting that. "She's just stressed out. That's why she's acting like an as*hole." Wrong.


Pimp - I suspect so, too. She was up and down all the time the last 6 months of our relationship. It was really weird. At one point, I was on the couch listening to her day and our dog went to eat something off of the Christmas Tree. I turned to the dog to make him stop, and she flipped out at me claiming I wasn't listening to her. I told her she was being ridiculous, but nothing would make her understand that she was.

It was really, really strange. Another time, and not to use the dog again, she went to hit out dog's nose. I told her previously not to do that, so she went to and I grabbed her wrist to prevent her from doing it. She yelled and claimed abuse to my face.

Yeah, she sounds like a real keeper, jackass. I hope you find a way to patch things up. Can't let a love like this slip away.
 

sillygoose

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Mantis Toboggan said:
A normal, healthy adult can handle stressful times without sh*tting all over their relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend.

You seem to keep forgetting that. "She's just stressed out. That's why she's acting like an as*hole." Wrong.


Yeah, she sounds like a real keeper, jackass. I hope you find a way to patch things up. Can't let a love like this slip away.

You're absolutely right. There was even more to this girl, on an all-expenses paid vacation my family paid for she developed an eye infection. They asked how her eye was and she went to the room crying. Later, she said my family was "crazy" (even though there was zero reason for her to say that).

My younger brother, 13, said she is "way too fussy", and she wasn't logical at all. There are MANY other stories, too.

We decided to move in together, signed papers and all that, promise to move in. I relocated to her state. A job interview was offered for her 5 hours away, and I told her I was disappointed because she was jumping at the first opportunity she had and is going back on everything we decided. She cried saying I don't support her. Ultimately she didn't get the job.

When calmly discussing why her sex drive went from all the time to practically nothing, the first three weeks of living together she didn't say a word. She literally wouldn't say anything. I asked her if we can figure out ways to spice up our sex life, things she wants to do, ask if we can swtich contraceptives or get hormones tested, nothing. I finally snapped because she was silent on the issue for a long time. After that, a week later she said, "Don't you think it's because you are pressuring me and I am stressed in general?" Well, if you are silent I won't know that, and I am not "pressuring" nor am I "using you" for sex, I wanted to figure out ways we can stay intimate. Later, she said, "We live together now, of course the first two years will be good, I'm okay with once every three weeks or so now." And when I asked her about once every week to help me out she said, "jokingly", I was a 'Monkey".

Another time we were on vacation that I paid for to Disney. My cousin is autistic. I told her we can get a free handicapped pass to access the rides quicker since he is on file with my family. She was aganist it, but said that since she knows it's important to me she'll be okay with it. Midway through the vacation she stopped being willing to ride rides, and I asked her 10x calmly "Why?" She merely said "Because I don't want to". So, after the 10th time of giving me awful answers I said, "This is ****ing ridiculous, I'm wasting money, you promised me you'd be okay with this." So she cried, claimed I was abusing her in public.

Can you help me? How do I let her know, without talking to her, that she became a lunatic?

There were two times in the last six months where I could CLEARLY say I was wrong about things, but mostly she just lost her mind. I would tell her that walking out the door makes problems worse, makes me feel worse about being able to bring up issues to talk about, and she didn't care.

I'll tell you this - her parents don't sleep together, I didn't know about this until the end of our relationship. Apparently they haven't in years saying they "bug each other" when sleeping. That means her mom is not sexual, and would explain why my ex was offended when I asked if she'd be okay with road head. My ex was cuddly as hell, and when horny TOTALLY into it, but she would be offended if I even told her "I want to **** you so hard", she said it was vulgar.

What I did LOVE about her when things were great all was phenomenal. She was an amazingly ideal girlfriend - very kind, sweet, romantic, sexual, driven, extremely intelligent, from our same school, etc.

Though, I remember 3 weeks into dating I told her I questioned man's contribution to global warming. Right on that date she got up from the ground we were laying on looking at the stars and said, "Wow, you're an idiot' not in a directly hurtful way but it came out. I should have noticed it then.

She claimed that only serial killers hunt (as I was developing an interest in hunting) - and, while I carry a pistol, I wanted a rifle. I said that if I got one we would talk about it first to make sure she's comfortable. She went broke, couldn't afford her part of the bills. So, the next day I went out (while with her) and went to ****'s and was about to purchase a rifle. When she came up to me I said, "Are you okay with this?" She begrudgingly said yes, I can do what I want. I asked again, same thing. She seemed upset, but I purchased it as it was MY place at that point. Later, she FLIPPED out, claimed I didn't respect her, etc even though she ACKNOWLEDGED it's my place and my money so I can do what I want.

Then later she threw that as a contributing reason for a breakup - because I had a rifle.
 

loveshogun

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sillygoose said:
I'll tell you this - her parents don't sleep together, I didn't know about this until the end of our relationship. Apparently they haven't in years saying they "bug each other" when sleeping. That means her mom is not sexual, and would explain why my ex was offended when I asked if she'd be okay with road head. My ex was cuddly as hell, and when horny TOTALLY into it, but she would be offended if I even told her "I want to **** you so hard", she said it was vulgar.
So that's why she's such a sh*tty human being. You can totally cure her now, right?
 

sillygoose

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loveshogun said:
So that's why she's such a sh*tty human being. You can totally cure her now, right?
Can you go into that in more detail? I suppose I could have pulled away from her when she was acting awfully before she started to reach out to the ex she always had some residual feelings for (that grew when she acted like a *****), but that's not a loving thing to do in a healthy relationship when she was stressed out.
 

Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

loveshogun

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sillygoose said:
healthy relationship
Healthy relationship? What healthy relationship? All I see is a crazy woman and a little boy who can't walk away.

That, or a troll in a little boy costume.
 

sillygoose

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loveshogun said:
Healthy relationship? What healthy relationship? All I see is a crazy woman and a little boy who can't walk away.

That, or a troll in a little boy costume.
That's true because she wasn't like this for two years until we moved in together and she was insane. Before that we had a few run ins but it was generally fine.

I wonder if that is why the first guy cheated on her, the second didn't count, third guy was an ******* to her, and then I technically dumped her?

I wrestle with the idea of was I dating a facade (as her close friend suggested I was, and that who she "became" was who she really was), or if who she became was a phase.

She also believes in spanking children as discipline, by the way.
 

The_411

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Bottomline once a man makes decisions based on emotion he's sunk.

As has been mentioned the law of sunk costs applies here. It seems you're reluctant to walk away because you've sunk so much time effort and money into a woman and you don't want to lose that "investiment". Problem is all that investiment is going into a bottomless pit.

However, just like in business when you make a bad investiment choice those that are successful cut their losses and don't hang out until they go bankrupt.


Why invest in a morally bankrupt person? Would you invest in a bankrupt company? No, so the same applies to women.

Stress was merely an excuse. It doesn't fly here and it doesn't fly in the real world (save for insanity and then you're dealing with a known insane person)
 

georgie24

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Iceburgs post is probably the sharpest , clearest answer to a post ive read here in a while, if you run a search under my handle you will see i been through the hell with these kind of girls and never applied the advice full time on these types of women.

If you enjoy misery then keep doing and thinking of ways to get her to love you

my case in point REREAD ICEBURGS FIST RESPONSE, 5 years from now it will probably make sense to you


happy camping
 

ezio

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reading your posts make me wanna puke. Honestly i think you're past the point where advice on this forum can help you. you and your chick need to seek the help of a therapist but i very much doubt that will solve anything. your chick is seriously ****ed up and her instability is destroying her and will eventually destroy you as well. the funny thing is everyone who has commented on your thread sees this but you deliberately refuse to acknowledge it even though its staring at you in the face. what's so special abt this chick that you can't let go of her? your efforts to save-a-ho are pathetic at best and smacks of desperation. If i were a Mod i would consider closing this thread cos its very obvious you're not prepared to help yourself
 

Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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