Lets see how this plays out SS, join me

[JohnChops]

Alright so i got a text from the GF today saying "My Ex just texted me saying we should hangout tomorrow and we have unfinished business"

My natural response (THANKS SS!!) : Talking sounds neat, go ahead if you want.

Lookie, my own sh1t test.

Am i right to think this:

If she goes then obviously she has some type of feelings for him and i should just break it off, im fine with this, i personally dont care. (oh but you made a thread about her, hush SS peoples, i just want an opinion! )

What would you fellas do here. Ill post how it plays out when it gets further.

 

[BeDJ]

Women will always see what they can get away with, even in LTRs. Every inch you give, every inch you can't get back. Set boundaries early on.

 

[JohnChops]

Women will always see what they can get away with, even in LTRs. Every inch you give, every inch you can't get back. Set boundaries early on.

Should I just tell her straight up if you go I'm ending it because that's disrespectful to me? Seems a bit forward but I'm fine with doing that.

 

[Iceberg]

What would you fellas do here. Ill post how it plays out when it gets further.

Just the concept of "Unfinished business" in a relationship is ridiculous. What's unfinished? The relationship is over. What's supposed to happen now....they're gonna become best buddies...Have a few beers and watch football together?

I'm on friendly terms with some exes, but that didn't happen over a big "Unfinished business" conversation.

So, you played it the best way you could. But the fact that she admitted this to you means that these two are talking semi-regularly. I don't like this situation.

 

[HalfAddict]

I'd go ghost, forever, leaving the ***** thinking there's unfinished business.

 

[JohnChops]

Just the concept of "Unfinished business" in a relationship is ridiculous. What's unfinished? The relationship is over. What's supposed to happen now....they're gonna become best buddies...Have a few beers and watch football together?

I'm on friendly terms with some exes, but that didn't happen over a big "Unfinished business" conversation.

So, you played it the best way you could. But the fact that she admitted this to you means that these two are talking semi-regularly. I don't like this situation.

Thanks for chiming in iceberg, glad to see you back as well. I don't like it either so I guess we shall see what happens here. Yeah that whole unfinished business crap sounds so bs and stupid it's ridiculous.

 

[Yewki]

"My Ex just texted me saying we should hangout tomorrow and we have unfinished business"

I personally would text back, ".... annnnnnd den??" or maybe "Want me to hold your hand?"

 

[thelastmanonearth]

txt her a selfie with your **** in another chicks mouth, write "had some unfinished business babe."

 

[BeDJ]

Should I just tell her straight up if you go I'm ending it because that's disrespectful to me? Seems a bit forward but I'm fine with doing that.

Don't mistaken setting boundaries for insecurity. Control is what you need to take in any relationship. For new relationships, she doesn't know how much you will put up with and she will test those limits. You acted aloof and she thinks you are fine and dandy with it. When you make an issue with it in the future (it will happen, this might not be the only ex or partner for thought,) she will throw a fit and make you in the wrong for agreeing with it in the first place. That's where give an inch, lose an inch comes into play.

For your situation, the best play would be along the lines of:

You know what, honey, I have been thinking about what you said earlier about seeing your ex. I'm uncomfortable with that, just as you will be if I were to hang out with my ex again. If unfinished business is important to you, I don't want to hold you back. Take care.


You guys understand this is his GF and not a plate, right? You can't use the same strategies. You are no longer the hunter/harvester/snake charmer, you are the enforcer.

 

[TheException]

I personally would text back, ".... annnnnnd den??" or maybe "Want me to hold your hand?"

This^

Treat it as if you find it funny. If shes your girlfriend and has atleast mediocre interest in you....she wont go. Shes most likely doing it to gauge your reaction...i like the "want me to hold your hand" response.

Now if she actually hangs out with him.....thats grounds for terminated the relationship immediately. No explanation necessary, just a "this relationship just isnt for me" and off you go.

 

[TheException]

For your situation, the best play would be along the lines of:

You know what, honey, I have been thinking about what you said earlier about seeing your ex. I'm uncomfortable with that, just as you will be if I were to hang out with my ex again. If unfinished business is important to you, I don't want to hold you back. Take care.

Not this^

 

[SamTheHobit]

Should I just tell her straight up if you go I'm ending it because that's disrespectful to me? Seems a bit forward but I'm fine with doing that.

That honestly sound beta.

Say nothing, and if she goes out with him break it off with her. Actions speak louder than words.

She's probably hoping for some beta reaction from you, don't give it to her!

Do whatever you want tough

 

[JohnChops]

Not quite sure what I want to do yet. I don't feel like replying anymore.

 

[Albatross953]

Bad behavior, I'd say make her less of a priority in your life. Backburner.

She clearly doesn't give a ****. So you better not give ten.

 

[JohnChops]

Bad behavior, I'd say make her less of a priority in your life. Backburner.

She clearly doesn't give a ****. So you better not give ten.

Se IS NOT a plate. She is my girlfriend and she never said she was going.

 

[abe0]

I just have one question...what unfinished business could be so important that can not be handled over the phone? Give me a break....I do not see why she needs to see her x.....b*tch...that's my first reaction. Abe

 

[JohnChops]

I took BeDJs route and said :

"Listen, I've been thinking and If you do go see your ex, I'm uncomfortable with that. But if it's important for you to go, I won't hold you back. Later. "

She said : "I told him I wasn't going to go"

 

[Berocca]

That's a great response. I'm gonna save that one for myself

BUT before you gave that response, you didn't actually knew if she was going or not. She might decided not to go after you send that response?

I think I would have thrown the ball back and asked if she was planning to go or not.

 

[JohnChops]

That's a great response. I'm gonna save that one for myself

BUT before you gave that response, you didn't actually knew if she was going or not. She might decided not to go after you send that response?

I think I would have thrown the ball back and asked if she was planning to go or not.

She just sent me a lot and in there it said she was disgusted by him and she never planned on going.

 

[TheException]

She just sent me a lot and in there it said she was disgusted by him and she never planned on going.

No sh1t.....she was looking to get a reaction from you....and she did.

Just no longer make it a big deal and NEVER bring it up again. But going forward, when your girlfriend does these kinds of things just be totally unaffected. When you say things like "Im uncomfortable" it screams insecurity. Insecurity = no vag1na tingles. Just do the celebrity(the prize) test....would Brad Pitt ever say "Im uncomfortable with you seeing some guy?" No....hed probably respond "k".