Lack of interest, or wants to be pursued?

[SgtSplacker]

Met a girl and we hit it off pretty good. Lots of kino, kissing, and interest, etc, etc. But she never calls me! If I ask her out she will always say yes and we have a great time and i'm not always paying either so it's not the free meal thing. But she just never calls me to initiate anything.

So i'm not really sure if she is just playing hard to get, or is just not very interested. It kills me because of the conflicting signals she is sending me. Personally, I do not like to pursue too much it just makes me feel needy so I would almost rather just drop her. But I don't want to be some kind of under motivated quitter either (she has a really nice rack). Kinda up in the air on this one.

 

[Purefilth]

mmmmm rack.......

 

[The Gambler]

Met a girl and we hit it off pretty good. Lots of kino, kissing, and interest, etc, etc. But she never calls me! If I ask her out she will always say yes and we have a great time and i'm not always paying either so it's not the free meal thing. But she just never calls me to initiate anything.

So i'm not really sure if she is just playing hard to get, or is just not very interested. It kills me because of the conflicting signals she is sending me. Personally, I do not like to pursue too much it just makes me feel needy so I would almost rather just drop her. But I don't want to be some kind of under motivated quitter either (she has a really nice rack). Kinda up in the air on this one.

Kind of sounds like one of those "Rules Girls." (remember them?)

 

[Trump]

She doesnt want to look vunerable. If she calls and you dont answer, she has put herself out there and its risky for her ego.

Not a relationship girl, take her for what she is, good time. Sounds like you want a relationship and she just wants some action.

 

[st_99]

conflicting signals she is sending me.

in my experience, when i get conflicting signals its because the girl is only half assed interested at best. its never been about wanting to be pursued.


she likes part of you but is repelled by another part of you.

 

[omega05]

Just have fun with her. Maybe she expects you to do the planning cuz you are the man

 

[nismo-4]

Mixed signals means little to no interest. The might be another man in the picture who's more desirable than you. I hope you're spinning more plates.

Case closed.

 

[VladPatton]

I know what you mean, Sgt...it is pretty annoying when you get not one peep out of her through calling or texting. Makes you think if you never contact her again you'll never see her again. I went through the same thing. I stopped contacting her and I was right, she never reached out again. You can't help but think there is no return attraction at this point. Try going cold for a week or two and see what happens.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I already went NC on her for like 2 weeks and no calls at all. Then I texted her out of the blue "happy hour?" she obliged and we had a great time. I definitely have other plates.. but yeah... did I mention the rack?

Either way it seems the board unanimously agrees she should not be pursued. This also coincides with how I personally feel about the whole thing. So that's that.

Now off-topic:

So what then does the Don Juan do in the case of a girl playing hard to get? Are we then to just give up? Surely there is something...

 

[SgtSplacker]

Kind of sounds like one of those "Rules Girls." (remember them?)

Thanks for posting this, I googled "rules girls" and gained quite a bit of insight.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rules

 

[stickman21]

She may not be into a relationship but if she is down to hang whenever you call her then keep her around and call her when you have nothing else going on.

 

[st_99]

So what then does the Don Juan do in the case of a girl playing hard to get?

imo, all sane women play hard to get, its just the law of the universe. BUT, they are getable. Meaning, some minor effort/game (and unruffled feathers) on your part and a little time will get her.

When it starts going past a month..... forget it. No interest.

 

[SgtSplacker]

imo, all sane women play hard to get, its just the law of the universe. BUT, they are getable. Meaning, some minor effort/game (and unruffled feathers) on your part and a little time will get her.

When it starts going past a month..... forget it. No interest.

Some more history:
When I first met her we were moving pretty fast, we were all over each other at first all the time. Then she dropped the bomb "if you think you're gonna get into my pants you are going to be a frustrated guy." I didn't sweat it but after that she went NC on me for like a week. I texted her told her "it was nice knowing her we had fun", she then wanted to talk, told me it was moving too fast. I said cool, we hung out a couple times after that and I noticed she wasn't calling, so I stopped calling too. I just was not going to play into the game of giving and not receiving. I have girls that are dying to spend time with me, it just didn't make sense to put in so much effort for her... even with the boobs in mind. After about two weeks of NC initiated by me is when I asked her to happy hour.

So yeah i'm going to observe one of my rules "Never jeopardize a cooch".

Dropping her to friend status... I don't pay for friends.

And i'll see what comes of it...

 

[Who Dares Win]

Keep us updated, its interesting.

However which is the maximum point in escalation you managed to reach? grabbed some boob or just made out?

Have you ever tried anything more like putting her hand on your c0ck or put your hand inside her pants?

 

[SgtSplacker]

Violent make out sessions even in public and over the clothes groping. So yeah i'm still trying to nail this one. We have gone out like 5 times in total...

 

[Greasy Pig]

I'm in a similar situation. If I reach out, she's really enthusiastic but she has actually told me that if I want to see her, I have to make the plans.

I think it's a defence mechanism so she doesn't hang herself out there too far and gets hurt. Still, I believe in equality in such matters.
It's nice when a girl initiates a date but unfortunately, The Rules dictate otherwise.
I also think her friends hate my guts, so they're probably warning her to play it cool. We all went out one night and I flirted with a lot of girls and probably overdid it in my attempt to create dread and competition anxiety.

I'm seeing her this weekend, so I'll have a better gauge of WTF is going on.

 

[ArcBound]

One of Rollo tomassi's teachings: The medium IS the message. The mixed signals is sending a message and it isn't too good.

 

[Zerro]

Thanks for posting this, I googled "rules girls" and gained quite a bit of insight.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rules

The hilarious thing about the book is that the woman who wrote it was divorced by her husband after it was published.

 

[VladPatton]

The hilarious thing about the book is that the woman who wrote it was divorced by her husband after it was published.

That Rules book is phucking hilarious. If some Alpha, Suave Don Juan guy meets a Rules Girl, they will cancel each other out and neither will make a move! Amazing.

 

[Zarky]

OP you've given me a good blog topic. The short answer is: it doesn't matter. She's not worth the effort. Find other broads. (Unless you want to drag her around like a big weight through your life.)

Women spin their hamsters thinking about these things. You shouldn't. Bone other chicks. Preferably ones who are the type who will participate and initiate rather than just sit there mute until you come up with something.

If some Alpha, Suave Don Juan guy meets a Rules Girl, they will cancel each other out and not do anything!

This is very true and happens quite frequently. No big loss, do you really want a rules girl?

EDIT:

Whoops, just read this:

"if you think you're gonna get into my pants you are going to be a frustrated guy."

That would have ended it immediately for me. That's such an affront that I would have been totally offended. I can't believe you stuck around after that. That's why lots of women have entitlement and attitude issues. You did not "Pass the P*ssy Forward" when you stuck around after that. If guys simply walked out the door when she said that (as you should have), she'd stop saying aggressively antagonistic stuff like that.