Just found out I got cheated on, how do I deal with it?

[Alvafe]

also I always remember one thing I read one time.

drunk people only say what they think sober. the drink just let her feel more like doing what she wanted and it also give a excuse to her to not feel bad

the Uberguy is right, you only get rid of trash, and the best of all you don't have to worry about a sl*t and a bad friend. pretty much you improve your life now

edit: about your post

yeah you can feel like you fail but you don't really, you just get some new experience, we all had that, hence why we did find this forum, we was tossed aside for a girl we though would be the one who was worthy of our love, then she goes and prove us wrong, better to do now is just go out and talk about good things with friends, or if you feel like it go try to some phone numbers, important now is let that ***** alone when you go have fun, you will have a better life now without a death weight on you.

limit of 10 posts so gonna edit here 2nd time for new info on johnny

dude don't ever listen to her voice msg, texts, e-mail. anything, just ignore the *****, she is not worth anything more, just ignore all she send to you, don't even answer anything.

 

[JohnnyStrabler]

OMG left me a voice message again!


Now she is saying that she is not saying what she did is not wrong, and that its also his fault (no sh!t, sherlock, thats why I am going to jump him) and she is not using the alcohol to excuse her behavior and she knows its wrong its just that she was influenced by it and her inhibitions were low.

uuggghhh

 

[Uberguy]

No dude, definitely dont want her back. Except that there are things that I dont know and it bothers me.

Also, since our whole ethos here is "We are Alpha" or "we are Don Juans" that we are not like the average man however I just got cuckolded like an average man, I fell for it, i fell for her tricks dude.

tl;dr I dont feel so alpha

One thing is for sure though, I dont think I will ever go to an LTR. I dont think anyone who cant read minds and to see the future should.

You can't control other people; you can only control your behavior. Yeah, you fell for her tricks at first, but now you're standing up for yourself. A Beta would listen to her pathetic excuses. An Alpha cuts her off entirely.

Look, this can happen to anyone, regardless of their status. Look at Robert Pattinson. Regardless of what you think of him (and I'll admit, I don't have a great opinion of him in the abstract myself), the truth is the truth: he could get more tail than any guy who has ever posted on these forums. Hell, he could probably get more tail than every single one of us combined. He has literally millions of women fantasizing about him. Millions of girls think of him when they're schtupping their less attractive boyfriends. Unless one of us becomes the lead male icon behind a $3 billion film franchise, it's unlikely any of us will ever come close to knowing the options that this guy has.

And his relatively unattractive girlfriend cheated on him. For a 40+ married douche.

The lesson: you can be a superstar multimillionaire with a model's looks, tons of women chasing after you and enough money to ensure your children's children's children never need to work, and still, some floozy might cheat on you just because she's bored or wants drama or [insert the hoebag nonsense of your choice here.]

Her actions should never define you. You, and only you, are the arbiter of your life. Any further thought on this situation is beneath you. Make your life better without her than it ever was with her.

 

[Uberguy]

OMG left me a voice message again!


Now she is saying that she is not saying what she did is not wrong, and that its also his fault (no sh!t, sherlock, thats why I am going to jump him) and she is not using the alcohol to excuse her behavior and she knows its wrong its just that she was influenced by it and her inhibitions were low.

uuggghhh

1) Why are you listening to what she says? Do you not have the option to block her number?

2) Do not jump the other guy. Believe it or not, he did you a favor. The best revenge you can get on him -- and I sincerely mean this -- is to let him have her.

 

[Albatross953]

see post above, this is not about you it's about her. Don't let her pull you down, no contact!

 

[Atom Smasher]

We're trying to steer you toward reality here. It's understandable that you're trying to make sense of it but there is nothing to make sense of.


She is sorry, "but not really"? What a loser.

She doesn't understand why you're so hurt? Loser (her, not you).

"It just happened"... The mantra of the a$$hole.

Finally, she is lying. She would be insisting about "just making out" aggressively right from the get-go until now if this were true.

You've dodged a bullet with this loser. Erase her.

"I don't understand why you're so hurt". Do you see what this statement says about her?

 

[JohnnyStrabler]

1) Why are you listening to what she says? Do you not have the option to block her number?

2) Do not jump the other guy. Believe it or not, he did you a favor. The best revenge you can get on him -- and I sincerely mean this -- is to let him have her.

1. I have an iphone, so no, i took out my sim card for now and then I will cal AT&T to block her number

2. My thing is not revenge, the man clearly disrespected me, I mentioned on my post that we broke up 2 weeks ago for something irrelevant? Well before their confessions this guy is telling me to go back with her. That is not being a bro, a bro will protect another bro from slVts not feed him to her.

I demand justice.

 

[Gro0ver]

OMG left me a voice message again!


Now she is saying that she is not saying what she did is not wrong, and that its also his fault (no sh!t, sherlock, thats why I am going to jump him) and she is not using the alcohol to excuse her behavior and she knows its wrong its just that she was influenced by it and her inhibitions were low.

uuggghhh

You might feel low right now but you actually have an opportunity here - the opportunity to start putting some of the things you read and learn here into practice. Start valuing yourself and getting with decent girls who won't mess you around like this turd has. Honestly, she sounds like trash and I think you will realise this once you've had some time to reflect.

As a Man, you have to protect your heart. It can be your downfall. Letting it take over and define your actions only ever leads to sadness and loss of self esteem. That's why people are saying you don't need to hear what she has to say. Because it won't be the truth anyway, just some twisted account that justifies her actions and makes her feel good about it. And seeing you struggle to understand and get emotional will only feed her justfication of it. Hypergamy doesn't care whether you comprehend or get upset.

It's time to go no contact. Grow some balls and stop being a chump. Or maybe you're happy being AFC. Fine, have fun with that.

p.s. What's your fixation with the dude? He probably didn't even know. Hit the gym or go boxing if you wanna let out some rage.

 

[JohnnyStrabler]

We're trying to steer you toward reality here. It's understandable that you're trying to make sense of it but there is nothing to make sense of.


She is sorry, "but not really"? What a loser.

She doesn't understand why you're so hurt? Loser (her, not you).

"It just happened"... The mantra of the a$$hole.

Finally, she is lying. She would be insisting about "just making out" aggressively right from the get-go until now if this were true.

You've dodged a bullet with this loser. Erase her.

"I don't understand why you're so hurt". Do you see what this statement says about her?

Yeah she said and I quote "I am sorry about what I did, ok not really blah blah"

 

[Uberguy]

1. I have an iphone, so no, i took out my sim card for now and then I will cal AT&T to block her number

2. My thing is not revenge, the man clearly disrespected me, I mentioned on my post that we broke up 2 weeks ago for something irrelevant? Well before their confessions this guy is telling me to go back with her. That is not being a bro, a bro will protect another bro from slVts not feed him to her.

I demand justice.

Justice. Revenge. Whatevs. Two sides of the same coin. If you're just saying you're going to jump him to let off some steam, that's fine. But if you're seriously planning on jumping him, you'll see plenty of "justice" when you're hauled into the courts for assault. And neither he nor this sl#t is worth that.

Here's a lesson they don't teach you in school: we do not live in a just world. You demand justice? That's cool. I demand that Megan Fox show up dressed as Wonder Woman in my bedroom. But demands don't shape reality. Hard work and discipline, however, do.

You're hurting. I get that. You feel like you've been made a fool of by two people. I get that. But who cares what two untrustworthy people think? Again, it is beneath your dignity to give a flying f*ck about either her or him.

What do you want out of life? And don't say, "a trustworthy girlfriend." You can get one of those. Really. What else do you want out of life? Who do you want to be? Right now, you have an opportunity. As someone else once posted on this forum (and more eloquently than I'm about to), you have so much potential right now, because you are fueled by a drive for a better life. You can waste this energy by focusing on this girl, or you can invest this energy in yourself.

Choose yourself.

 

[JohnnyStrabler]

p.s. What's your fixation with the dude? He probably didn't even know. Hit the gym or go boxing if you wanna let out some rage.

The dude was sort of a close friend of mine and he did know, he is saying he didnt tell me because he did not want to deal with the consequence as it was nothing I called him out on it and said he didnt say anything because he is scared of me and that he is a pvssy. Funny thing is he is one of those guys who keeps saying he dont give a sh!t about things and that he is not scared of anyone. The guy is not even apologetic or anything he is saying that he did it and I should deal with it.

 

[Greasy Pig]

I often wonder what it must be like for a woman when she's getting fvcked. It must be a truly invasive and overwhelming experience.

So when a woman says: "It just happened", I say "bullsht!!!".
To let some guy put his d1ck inside your body doesn't "just happen". It's not like dropping a glass. This is making a conscious decision to allow a man to put his d1ck in her pvssy.
Being drunk is no excuse.
Treat this cvnt with the disdain she deserves. Remove from her the privilege of ever having anything to do with your life.
As for the guy, he did do you a massive favour.
I'm still good mates with the guy who fvcked my first serious girlfriend.

 

[The_Jon]

A lot of good advice in this thread.

She cheated on you. Showing up to hear her explanation or find out more details will accomplish the following....

• She will relieve her guilt (Bad)
• She will feel justified in the cheating (Bad)
• She will view you as more a chump (Bad)
• You will know all the ways she disrespected you (Good, for those who claim they must know these things)

If you go NC and walk away

• She will always regret it (Good)
• She will contact you again and try to fix things (Good, but you should always remain NC)
• You will walk away with dignity and self-respect (Good)
• You will be much more confident in walking away from future poor behavior in women you date (Good)
• You won't know all the ways she disrespected you (Bad, for the guys that for some reason must know these things)

It is glaringly obvious which is the better choice.

Go NC and let her hamster run in silence for the rest of her life. Sometimes the best thing you can do is leave people to suffer the consequences of their actions. This is one of those times.

Excelent and concise summary mate!

Well, i could add 1 more to the list:

If you go NC and walk away after telling her:

• You were a loyal man, the man that took relationship seriosly, but she screw it up (literary) (she will think about what the could had but lost, because of hear sluty behavior) (Good)
• You thought better about her, until she showed her real face and this is no go behavior in relationships for you and it doesn't matter what justification she thinks to throw at you. She HAD TO DISSCUSS any ISSUES WHILE THEY WERE IN RELATIONSHIP, and not justify her actions now. (You show you are better then her) (Good)

As far as i understand, you are both pretty young. If she realy cares about you, you will hear from her again. Right now, give a break to get off emotional high. Go have some fun with other girls. With time you will see where you want this relationship to go. If she doesnt show she cares enough to appologise sinserely instead of trying to put you down by saying its your foult, F*&k her, there are better women than her.
The bootom line, there are way worse senarios in relationships then single ONS (one-night stand)... But only if SHE REALY regrets and FEELS AS DISSAPOINTMENT and beggs to take her back, its worth thinking about forgivenes...
_________________________
Some articles on relationhips

 

[dudewut]

Alphas also get cheated on....

Beta's go back for more.



DO NOT go back to her even if it's just to talk. That will still put you in the Beta category in her mind, even if you do not take her back.

The point is, remember that even Alphas get cheated on when their women find rival Alphas and the timing is right. Do not let this determine whether you were alpha in your past for her, let it determine how alpha you will be in your response to her.

Walk away and go NC.

Alphas get cheated on?

I thought Alphas dont get cheated on because the woman only wants him and is too busy trying to please him and have his kids? Isnt that the hypergamy derivative? To have the alpha bear you kids, why would you risk on having the alpha male dump you and to have another male's kids instead of the alpha's?

 

[JohnnyStrabler]

I guess I handled it all wrong.

When we started going out, she mentioned I have a "player vibe" which I denied, and then she pointed out that me and my friend (lets call him Bret) are known in the campus for being good looking and talking to girls all the time.

I made the mistake of telling her "no, its only him that does that, Im way too busy to play around you can go ask him, i dont go around as much" in which she didnt believe me and told me that I am probably a player.

Sh!t, that could have put more value in him, i should have just evaded the topic all together and admit/deny to nothing.

Well, she is blocked, cellphone, email, facebook. thats that. Thank you all, you all made me feel better and getting a new perspective on things. And I guess I am going to go through to the party tonight.

 

[Purefilth]

Alphas get cheated on?

I thought Alphas dont get cheated on because the woman only wants him and is too busy trying to please him and have his kids? Isnt that the hypergamy derivative? To have the alpha bear you kids, why would you risk on having the alpha male dump you and to have another male's kids instead of the alpha's?

Hi this is reality, everyone can be cheated on!

 

[dudewut]

Of course they do. There is always a bigger and better alpha.

Hell, even an "equal alpha" at the right time and place (she's alone on some exotic trip or vacation during her ovulation) can pillage your "committed quality girl".

damn, there is no reason to get married....ever.

Used to be, Im like "Ill be an alpha and have fun now, then when i settle down with a good girl, she wont cheat because I am an alpha she can take care of the kids"

Im thinking that nowadays infidelity and affairs is now a norm and is not frowned upon anymore. Sheesh

 

[cola]

Double Post

 

[cola]

To me, the best way to handle it is no discussion. Just flat out dissapear. She is dead to you, a ghost. When you see her silent treatment. Delete her and anyone who is mutual to her with you out of your life. And then don't worry about hooking up with girls .. Get in the gym, read, get a few new shirts/shoes and start going out.. Youll meet another. But, no relationships till after military. After this experience it would be hard to trust her.

 

[coochieman]

Dear J. Strabler,

CoochieMan extends his sincere unapologies. Part of the game, bro.

I feel like s#it, honestly, how does one deal with it?

Yes, you would and should. Happened to a number of us. Infact, you would lye awake, alone at mid-night and witness conceptual porn of your buddy pounding Ms. Strabler six ways to orgasmic Sunday. None of this would kill you, you would only grow stronger. Someday, you'd look back and go "Hahaha! What the fucck?!!!". Only time would heal.

we broke up 2 weeks ago over something completely different and now that we got in contact again she mentioned her cheating on me 2 months ago and it seems that I am back to square one, seriously she contacted me everyday right after we broke up

Already read somewhere where you said you ain't goin' back. Sadly, this is the right thing to do. Absolute No-Contact.

funny thing is, I thought it over. Why? going to the military after I get my college degree (January 2013), thought it would be nice to exchange letters with someone and be in an LTR for once.

Pure filth put it best: "Especially if she already cheated, what do you think she'll be doing while youre on tour? Sucking the neighbors d!ck, thats what! Dont believe me?"

An LDR is an almost perfect waste O'time. Too many ZIP Codes in between to expect pure fidelity from both fellows. Not even when she has gone further to put blemishes in your trust.

If she begs for forgiveness and does everything she can to get you back then she obviously values you highly. Perhaps something can be salvaged depending on her (unlikely and only if she's worth it)

Arrant nonsense. Move on.

dont you want to know why I did what I did?

I don't understand why you're so hurt!

I am sorry about what I did, ok not really...

Just look at your b!tch. I really hope that mouth sucked a lot of your d!ck back then?! This is all you need to know about her. Now, compare this person with the "same" person who was whispering sweet melody into your ears a couple of months ago... Now you have an idea of what women are.

Alphas get cheated on?

What planet do you live on?! Alphas, Betas, Omegas, Sigmas, Thetas, whatever or whoever can get cheated on. He influences the lady, he doesn't "remote control" her. The only thing "Alpha" does for you is it puts you on a better platform to battle the same thing everybody else battles. It doesn't guarantee a conflict-less life.

...Sh!t, that could have put more value in him.

Lmao. Not really, you're just over-analyzing now. But I fully understand you. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if he continues with her, a fellow DJ can pull that one off.

SideNote: After my last "real" GF cheated on me, I whined, complained and analyzed for several hours of several days to my buddies. So, during one of my then usual whining sessions, my buddies suddenly frenzied. I was confused and asked what happened and one of 'em told me that it was the first time I would refer to her as my "ex-girlfriend" all this while. Slowly, I was moving on. Drinks were free for me that day. Now she bugs me every now n'then against my approval and I still maintain NC as much as possible. Wondering how I stooped so low to date her. Time would heal the b!tch, brah. Stay strong.

GO DJ.