Just a note to keep everyone sharp

[Fruitbat]

This is BS, you know it, she knows it and everyone in here knows it. If you had plenty of women after you, she would have noticed it since the beginning, and would be scared of losing you, therefore will never disrespect you. If that would've been truth, you would've left the house, and fvck another of the plenty ones you have.

I never claimed to have plenty of women after me. You’ve misunderstood, this isn’t a competition to be a guru, or to brow beat everyone else to claim I’m better. I don’t have a long list of women out there and I don’t care. It doesn’t bother me at all. You’re going on the offensive and coming off like a total w@nker provoking a fight for no reason

Its not about a tactic, its about a boundary, if she crosses the boundary, you leave to calm down, then if you don't have kids or file for divorce, that's how you enforce the boundary. Its difficult but it has to be done that way, otherwise, she knows you'll leave and will come back.

seems like a massive hissy fit. My ego isn’t wounded that badly TBH, and I do have kids.
TBH this comes off a bit teenage angsty.

 

[Fruitbat]

Why?

The best apologies require 0 words but lots of mouth.

Meh, I’d rather she did the housework.
sechs has never been an issue so I’m not really that bothered. Thankfully it’s one thing which has never been used as a bargaining chip.

 

[Fruitbat]

Think the OP just missed awesome opportunity when he skipped socializing with her workmates.
Always join those!
Look your sharpest, have a great positive energy, be life of the party! ..and.. sarge her female co-workers in front of her

When having a change I always sarge her girlfriends/workmates. Of course normally I'd be courteous and refrain only to properly socially calibrated, innocent light flirting. Basically just be the awesome guy that everyone wants to be around. Most chicks really, really love this.
It's clear status boost for her to have awesome man.

But since she was disrespectful to you and hopefully you made it clear to her, I suggest crossing the line. Effin shamelessly kino her workmates in front of her to make the point(calibrated of course).

You could also have a good laugh with her workmates about how she farts when she sleeps ..And remember to tell everyone the story how you once found a skidmarks from her sheets and didn't know what to do and how to tell her..

It's not that she can have a meltdown in front of her workmates..
Later call her miss poopy pants


Well, this opportunity went by, but to sum it up you can have a overt conversation about your boundaries and then be strong at enforcing them.
This is the healthy good guy game.

Other way is to go dark triad on her misbehaving a$$. Never be clear about your boundaries, just sub communicate then and keep her guessing. And when she crosses the line start eroding her self confidence. "Oh, your forehead wrinkles really show in this lighting" This can be more powerful, but of course takes toll on your psyche..
Just an option.

I wouldn’t do any of that but I might have done at 25.

I have no interest in her workmates, I’d rather have some time out and go play snooker/golf and do my own thing. I got my own friends, and the last thing I would do to the mother of my kids is embarrass her and me by playing those games.

 

[Fruitbat]

Stare at her a realize she a women and say nothing. If you accept Fukin as an apology, your already lost and reinforces her that her P holds power over you.



Some people like to hear what they want to hear to make themselves feeeel gooood. It seems like your the one frustrated, cursing and such... tisk tisk. But I guess thats why your on an internet forum asking complete strangers how to handle your wife when she yells at you. lol.

….you won’t find me ever putting others down or flexing on them as I’m here to relate to and help others. I’m on here to discuss, make friends and shoot the shyt.

You’ve come here with a big mouth spoiling for a fight. This is the mature man section.

No man who’s happy with himself acts the way you have, think whatever you want to think but it’s pretty obvious you’re either lacking in social skills or kicking off in an anonymised context releases some sort of tension or lack of self esteem you’re fostering. Trust me, I know it, been there when I joined, so you aren’t fooling anyone.

 

[Fruitbat]

The absolute state of this fking place these days.

we had a good period where the kuntz left and all was harmonious and here we are, back the ego fest.

fking little tiff and its descended into “if you had loads of women, but you don’t and everyone knows it” FFS man, what is wrong with people.

 

[Smok1nAce]

….you won’t find me ever putting others down or flexing on them as I’m here to relate to and help others. I’m on here to discuss, make friends and shoot the shyt.

You’ve come here with a big mouth spoiling for a fight. This is the mature man section.

No man who’s happy with himself acts the way you have, think whatever you want to think but it’s pretty obvious you’re either lacking in social skills or kicking off in an anonymised context releases some sort of tension or lack of self esteem you’re fostering. Trust me, I know it, been there when I joined, so you aren’t fooling anyone.

nice try. But you haven’t said anything in this post besides a diary of your own feelings.

Be a Man. Realize you messed up and continue forward.

 

[Smok1nAce]

The absolute state of this fking place these days.

we had a good period where the kuntz left and all was harmonious and here we are, back the ego fest.

fking little tiff and its descended into “if you had loads of women, but you don’t and everyone knows it” FFS man, what is wrong with people.

I think this post sums you up rather well.

 

[TheGrindEqualsHappiness]

You have to be subtle though, so they don't think there's trouble brewing in your relationship. Just be 'outgoing'.

Yep, that's exactly the prescription!
Just be your outgoing charismatic self with lots of positive energy. Thoughtful compliments, some lighthearted teasing and limited kino. Rapport and some attraction. The idea is to be this with everyone. If you concentrate to any particular chick too much, then it starts to look off..

I mean her friends swooning over you are the best social proof you can have.

And special bonus tip is to sarge her mom if you get the chance.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

The absolute state of this fking place these days.

we had a good period where the kuntz left and all was harmonious and here we are, back the ego fest.

fking little tiff and its descended into “if you had loads of women, but you don’t and everyone knows it” FFS man, what is wrong with people.

90% of the flexers are Catholics, just as 90% of the difficult women in the west are Catholics. Just ignore 'em.

 

[The Duke]

90% of the flexers are Catholics, just as 90% of the difficult women in the west are Catholics. Just ignore 'em.

You know I was a Catholic alter boy! . Never had butt sex with the priest tho.

 

[Captain Redbeard]

You know I was a Catholic alter boy! . Never had butt sex with the priest tho.

So it was just oral?

 

[DreamAgain]

why are you asking the question? Explain why you want to know and then I’ll tell you.

What did marriage offer you that you did not have just keeping her as a girlfriend? Why get the state involved?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

You know I was a Catholic alter boy! . Never had butt sex with the priest tho.

90% sir.

 

[Fruitbat]

What did marriage offer you that you did not have just keeping her as a girlfriend? Why get the state involved?

I didn’t ask for your opinion on marriage.

I’m posting about general management of relationship with a SO.

Comment on that all you like, I’m not sitting on trial because you, or others, want to feel better about yourselves by tearing someone else to shreds.

whatever I answer you know the answer is going to be “you made mistakes and only have yourself to blame” so just post that without the merry-go-round of bollocks beforehand

 

[Scaramouche]

Think the OP just missed awesome opportunity when he skipped socializing with her workmates.
Always join those!
Look your sharpest, have a great positive energy, be life of the party! ..and.. sarge her female co-workers in front of her

When having a change I always sarge her girlfriends/workmates. Of course normally I'd be courteous and refrain only to properly socially calibrated, innocent light flirting. Basically just be the awesome guy that everyone wants to be around. Most chicks really, really love this.
It's clear status boost for her to have awesome man.

But since she was disrespectful to you and hopefully you made it clear to her, I suggest crossing the line. Effin shamelessly kino her workmates in front of her to make the point(calibrated of course).

You could also have a good laugh with her workmates about how she farts when she sleeps ..And remember to tell everyone the story how you once found a skidmarks from her sheets and didn't know what to do and how to tell her..

It's not that she can have a meltdown in front of her workmates..
Later call her miss poopy pants


Well, this opportunity went by, but to sum it up you can have a overt conversation about your boundaries and then be strong at enforcing them.
This is the healthy good guy game.

Other way is to go dark triad on her misbehaving a$$. Never be clear about your boundaries, just sub communicate then and keep her guessing. And when she crosses the line start eroding her self confidence. "Oh, your forehead wrinkles really show in this lighting" This can be more powerful, but of course takes toll on your psyche..
Just an option.

Hi FruitBat,
The best advice for Parties is to grab the Bottle,be the nice guy going round filling all the Ladies Glasses with a witty comment and ever ready to introduce himself.

 

[Fruitbat]

Hi FruitBat,
The best advice for Parties is to grab the Bottle,be the nice guy going round filling all the Ladies Glasses with a witty comment and ever ready to introduce himself.

I see. Spike the drinks…..I have some moral issues with that to be honest.

I suppose if the whole party is in a massive k-hole and I’m sober then I’m going to be the alpha by default.

 

[Scaramouche]

I see. Spike the drinks…..I have some moral issues with that to be honest.

I suppose if the whole party is in a massive k-hole and I’m sober then I’m going to be the alpha by default.

Hi Fruitbat..."Spike the drinks",?????

 

[Fruitbat]

Hi Fruitbat..."Spike the drinks",?????

you said grab the bottle and hand it out to the ladies.
That sounded a bit malevolent

 

[Scaramouche]

you said grab the bottle and hand it out to the ladies.
That sounded a bit malevolent

Hi Fruitbat,
Naah at Paties Soirees,everyone is standing around,sipping a drink having nibbles...Just Find an Open Bottle,mingle around topping everyone up.

 

[BeExcellent]

Hi Fruitbat.

Many of the natives here have no idea about marriage and nuclear family life. It’s best for the children, among other things, and nobody has any business dissing you and your life choices.

With your knowledge of red pill and female nature you are faring better than most.

This is a bratty moment. Women have them at times. You took away your time & attention. That was the correct play here. It was a disrespectful moment. In a marriage or LTR there are on occasion moments when your partner does something that offends your sensibilities. When that happens (or starts becoming more than a “one-off”) you have to reassert boundaries. That is what you did here. That is good.

The issue you may observe with an all female work environment is that your wife is exposed to a bit much feminist go girl rah rah crap. Bad attitudes. This you have to be mindful about. You want your wife to appreciate what she has with you as a husband and father and head of house.

You are a dictator. Best to be a benevolent dictator but a dictator nonetheless. Best to lead without overtly laying down the law. But at times you may need a more direct approach. Reinforce compliance with reward of your time & attention. If she behaves well? Ask her to get a sitter and take her out.

Operant conditioning. You reward the behavior you want to see more of and you discourage by withdrawal the behavior you do not want. It is a fine line at times. There will be occasions when there has to be a conversation. The conversation should be direct and succinct:

“I find it disrespectful when you do (whatever was disrespectful) and I am disappointed about this.”

If warranted (as you thought in this case) you withdraw attention. You refused to go to her work function. That meant she had to give an excuse why you weren’t there, which means she was reminded frequently of your absence. That’s good. If she wants you to join her for things then she needs to be respectful and behave appropriately. I agree with Barrister. I think you handled this well.

Observe & review going forward. If it becomes a trend rather than a one off then you need to more closely evaluate y’all’s interactions & the things around her influencing her behavior.

Happy 2024 & Cheers to you & yours.