Journal... Nobody Cares!

[NobodyCares1]

Hi

so I've been on this site since February... and now I decided to start a journal... since this one thing that I had with a girl that might lead to a relationship is over I can at least fully focus on improving my game...

right now there's this one girl I met at a disco a week and a half ago... HB 7,5 but not copletely my type... she kinda reminds me of a ugly classmate I used to have at elementary school and didn't like her... anyway I made out with her there... she was there with her two brothers but didn't mind... anyway I was standing with her holding her close to me and then took out my phone to look at the time, she then took the phone from my hand and wrote her nuber... but she also called herself to get my number...

later that night I walked her to her house... it was about 5 AM but I wanted her to walk me to the bus stop because I live in a different town... she said that she wants to go to sleep and asked me what's gonna happen is she doesn't go with me... I said that I won't contact her... she was silent for a couple of seconds and then asked me what's going to happen is she contactes me... I didn't answer that...

after a while we said goodbye and her best friend walked me to the bus stop... also her best friend is my schoolmate... we had some classes together but never really got to know eachother...

the next day she calls me at 6:30 AM of course by then I was sound asleep and saw a missed call at about 11 AM so I did nothing.... after a couple of hours she sends me a text message

"Hi, were you really serious about not contacting me when I won't walk you to the bus stop? bye"

I answered something like this

"Maybe yes and maybe not... did you at least slept well?"

the texting continued for a while but not for too long... then we texted on FB

but to make it short we made a bet that I wouldn't remember her name the next day... we were both drunk... anyway I did remember it since she wrote it to my mobile phone (I wouldn't remember her surname otherwise)... so now she has to buy me a chocolate... she said that she could give it to me sometime next week... so I now have to set up a date, preferably on monday... she seems to be interested a lot... but do you have any creative ideas how to use that chocolate to my advatage on the date? or any good tips? especially about the asking out thing... because the way I asked them out so far didn't seem to work as well as I would like to (about 50% success rate)... that might have also been because I haven't established enough rapport... but I have even less rapport with this one that any other before...

 

[NobodyCares1]

texted her early in the mornign because I was leaving to another city 210km away... but decided to look on FB for a while and she was online... so this is how the conversation went

ME "What are you doing haunting here so early in the morning? "

HB "and you?? me, nothing what should I"

ME "me? I'm here just for a second.. I'm leaving soon you could be sleeping"

HB "well, I don't feel like it"

NE "How so?"

HB "I just don't"

ME "well ok if you don't want to... so how is it with the practise you have?" (she has a practise at school so that's one reason why she will be in town... she suggested about a week ago that we meet after she finishes it... that she'll give me the chocolate then)

HB "I don't know. I just know that I'm supposed to go there on monday, they will call me about at what hour should I be there"

ME "well I should have time on monday... so you don't even know roughly when?"

HB "I don't know, only if I have it in morning... bla bla bla or if I have it in the evening bla bla bla... but I don't know exactly when or if something hasn't changed"

ME "hmm... ok... we'll plan it when you know"

HB "but when will I know something "

ME "well... but you should know untill sunday shouldn't you? "

HB "I should"

ME "so we'll see then... at worst we won't see eachother "

HB "whatever ....................... (!a lot of dots!) (here she said something that's hard to translate... something like whatever... but it didn't had that feeling she didn't care at all... it has more like neutral feeling to it... that she isn't happy about it but neither sad...)"

ME "ok... I have to go... so let me know when you know... bye"

HB "bye... I'll see because if I won't be on FB I don't know how" (yeah sure... she has my phone nuber... although she said that she doesn't have any credit on her phone so she might not be able to let me know that way... but she used to send me text messages from her sister's phone)

I think I really have to work on my text game becuse I had this feeling through the whole conversation that she lost interest and that I seemed very needy and eager to meet her... I wanted to build more rapport with her but then she suggested that we could meet next week...

 

[NobodyCares1]

I guess no one really cares about my journal

 

[Solomon]

I guess no one really cares about my journal

Are you in high school? or college?

 

[NobodyCares1]

this year will be my last on high school...

 

[NobodyCares1]

Time for a little FR... went out with friends yesterday... there was a concert in town and will be today again but I don't think I'll go there again... the point is that there are people camping in tents which is an important part...

since I was quite drunk here are the bits that I remember...

anyway the night began fine I had a beer with my friend and we said to ourselves that we have to get some girls...

at first we just tried some approaching but most of the girls were uninterested...

later we approached a tent with a lot of girls around... started talking with one that we are searching for another friend of ours (he had all the alcohol with him) the conversation went well... the girl even told us we could stay with them and I really think we should stay with them for at least a while... anyway we left to search for our friend... found him... got the alcohol and wated to find some girls... we couldn't find the girs we were with before but we met our other friends and met two girls both about HB7 (17 years old) the problem was there were three of us and two of them...

we began to talk and drink... I sat between the two girls... then somehow we began to talk about age... so I asked the girl on my left how old is she she said "I won't tell you" or something like that so my response was "Well you look 15" now usually when I say to an older girl that she looks 15 they just laugh and take it as a compliment... this one got pissed off at me at this point I decided to be annoyng as hell tonight.... when they asked me how old I am I told them 24... they said that you look young for a 24 year old so I asked one of them that what age would they guess I am and she said 20 or 21... well I'm 2 years younger so that's not so bad...

I began to talk with her friend and after a while the topic somhow got back to age... I guess she mentioned it that she's pissed off because I said she looks 15... so I took out my mobile phone and lighted it on... shed some light on her face and looked closer and said with a grin on my face "well when I look closer with some light you look 40 years old" she got even more pissed off and I just smiled and looked her in the eyes... when she got a bit calmer I said "but you do look good for a 40 year old woman" after that she said something like "seriously stop it or I'm going to hit you in the face"

I responded "so come on do it, hit me"
then the HB said "I'm not going to hit you" and she stroked my face...

I talked again with her friend but then decided to leave and leave the girls to my friends... they didn't seem so interested anyway...

I came around full circle around the tents without any approach and came back to my friends... there were again two girls that I already knew and even they told my that I am really annoyng this evening...

then I came back to those two friends and the girls the have been with left... so I went to meet some chicks with one friend and met one girl that I knew (HB7)... she was with a friend (HB7,5)... the HB7 then left for a while and my friend said something to what the HB7,5 responded with "you can tell that to someone dumb"

ME (with a little smile, no eye contact, I was looking somewhere distant) "yeah... he said that to you..."

then I looked her in the eyes with a smile... she was just looking at me silently for at least 5 seconds then I said "I'm just kidding"... but her face expression was priceless... it was obvious no one ever told her she is dumb... because she's hot... she was confused as fvck...

she just responded with "yeah that's fine"

then we left and that's everything important that I remember now... and even though I didn't get any girl (but neither did any of my friends who has been nice to girls... the girls there were really hard to get... on concerts and discoes I ususally end up making out with the first or the second girl that I approach) I still felt good because I tried something new and had fun doing it... :cheer:

 

[NobodyCares1]

so the HB mentioned before who I texted with didn't answer as expected... and I saw her today on facebook... but the last time we texted on FB she seemed interested so I guess I did something wrong when I texted with her on my phone... at first she texted me when she could give me the chocolate it was something like this

"Well I can either send it to you through (her friend that knows me) or I could give it to you the last week of holidays when I have practise at school"

ME "that means in a week and a half? you don't want to see me sooner? anyway it would be better personally"

HB "well I would like to see you sooner but when? "

ME "I don't know when either... I don't have much time during the weekend and probably won't have any next week... but if I have time I'll text you... if not then the last week of holidays it is"

and that's all.... then I only texted her what's above...

I thought about what to improve on my text game, what worked for me so far so here it is

- I have to establish more rapport before asking them out (very important!)
- I have to be more ****y and a bit more jerk
- I have to look less needy and less eager to meet them
- I have to take my time with responses and try to be more mysterious and fun

and that's all I can think of now... of course a lot of this stuff also has to be improved in normal conversation aswell...

 

[NobodyCares1]

so the HB (let's call her Merry) called me... I decided not to play any games and set up a date today... but it will probably be just very short only 40 minutes... anyway we'll see how this goes...

though I might screwed the call a bit because I might sounded a bit undecisive... anyway I'll have to fix that on the date...

 

[NobodyCares1]

so... back from the date... long story short... took her near a lake, sat on a bench and made out... although I definitely wasn't on the top of my game, in fact the way I played her was pretty bad I think... though I tried to act alpha and lead her...

at one point she wated to go one way and I wanted to go the other so I grabed her around waist and pulled close to me and said "I won't let you go... we're going this way" she was refusing at first but I was persistent... at the end I playfully slaped her on her ass and commanded her to go where I wanted... and she went like a little puppy...

still I feel like it was too easy to kiss close... usually I have to build more rapport and stuff (even on the disco where I met her)... so I have this feeling that she would be so easy almost with any guy... and that's a major red flag... or she might be a bit clingy... it's hard to say so soon though... anyway I made my mind that I don't want anything serious with her... I'll just try to keep her around for an occasional hook up...

 

[NobodyCares1]

well now I'm really confused... she just texted me on FB...

HB "I've decided, I'm not going to forget" (seriously have no idea what's she's talking about...)

ME "forget what?"

HB "well nothing"

ME (confused as fvck) "no, tell me"

HB "nothing really, I'm going offline bye"

I can't remember that we talked about forgething something... she might wanted to write that to someone else but I think she would tell me that... although she has a picture on her FB wall with a text "Somewhere among the stars... I have someone I'll never forget..." but if she would be refering to that... that would be seriously weird... I mean SERIOUSLY WEIRD...

 

[NobodyCares1]

Text game is my biggest enemy!

I've been out with Merry today... a lot of making out and kino... but at some point in conversation she said "We wouldn't be here if I didn't call you"
my response to that was "Yeah, you didn't even want to go out with me at first didn't you"
and she said that she really didn't... so that's how bad my text game is... she was very interested at first but I ruined it with my text game... anyway she then went out with me and when I asked her why she said she was bored... but... after the first date she is the one calling me out... so I'm good in person but my text game sucks BIG TIME...

 

[NobodyCares1]

so after a week of school I can say it's not looking well so far... I mean things are going quite well with Merry... I actually started thinking about LTR with her (I know what I wrote earlier but that kinda changed when I got to know her a bit) so we'll see about that...

but the main problem isn't Merry but all the other people around me... ever since the school started everyone is acting strange towards me... the guys seem more negative with me... I thought about that they might be jealous because when we go out I have about 75% success rate with girls while they have only about 33% or less...

girls are also a bit different as if they were trying to make me feel like a ****... they are quite often pointing out my flaws (but I have improved a lot so a lot of them aren't my flaws anymore I just haven't got a chance to show it yet)

it is true that I'm acting a bit different too... I'm a bit more confident (though still not extremaly confident) and more ****y... still I don't think that it could change their behavior so much... still I guess I just have to see what happens next... I've been a bit nervous last week too...

 

[NobodyCares1]

Screwed up BIG TIME

I was supposed to go with Merry out after school, waited for her at the bus stop but when she came she said that she's going with her best friend, I know her best friend too so it wasn't that big of a deal but we were supposed to go alone so I kinda got angry that she didn't let me know. The right move right then would be just to leave (god damnit why haven't I did that) I even though about it but didn't do it, so I went for a walk with them, though she was mostly talking to her friend. Seriously big disrespect from her side. After a while she looked at me and I just said "Nice" she then said to her friend ""He's angry at me". Then we all three talked for a while. Later I had to go home so I said goodbye to her, she told me when we could meet next time (on Friday) but that's not my plan to meet her so soon. Anyway I told her that she should've let me know and that I'm angry. We kissed and parted ways.

Now I know I could've done it better but it's too late for that. Right now I think a NC will be the best, or at least just very low contact at least for a week, maybe two.

 

[NobodyCares1]

Drinking is bad

I went out with friends yesterday, a lot of people in bars, got drunk as fvck. I can't remember anything but a girl that I made out with about three months ago was doing a bartender in one bar. I was drunk and wasn't completely sure if it was her, but that's all I remember, I don't know if I said anything to her or not but today she unfriended me on facebook so I guess that's not a good sign.

I hope that's all the consequences from yesterday, I have to ask my friends if they now what I did.

But this made me realise that I really need to drink less, seriously it costs me a lot of money and isn't good for my game either. I got to set a limit how much can I drink in one night.

The problem is that when I start drinking I drink until there is nothing to drink, it's hard for me to control myself when I'm drunk.

 

[Fly By Night]

Quite honestly, I don't like this behavior I'm seeing from Merry. I'm not exactly sure what you would do with her to take the attraction back up, but she is losing interest. I would NC just because of such disrespect. You seriously don't need that bothering your psyche. Keep talking to more women, though. I think practice would be the best bet in the early stages; (assuming you are in your early stages) Just practice on girls you are attracted to, not attracted to, etc.

Mind sharing your background/experience with women?

 

[dap]

Drinking is bad
I really need to drink less, seriously it costs me a lot of money and isn't good for my game either. I got to set a limit how much can I drink in one night.

The problem is that when I start drinking I drink until there is nothing to drink, it's hard for me to control myself when I'm drunk.

No sh!t, this needs to be priority #1.

 

[NobodyCares1]

Quite honestly, I don't like this behavior I'm seeing from Merry. I'm not exactly sure what you would do with her to take the attraction back up, but she is losing interest. I would NC just because of such disrespect. You seriously don't need that bothering your psyche. Keep talking to more women, though. I think practice would be the best bet in the early stages; (assuming you are in your early stages) Just practice on girls you are attracted to, not attracted to, etc.
Mind sharing your background/experience with women?

Actually the thing with Merry is over, I wrote about in this thread http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=198395 haven't contacted her since and she haven't contacted me. I have some classes at school with her best friend but we don't talk much with eachother and so nothing from her either.

About my background well, I used to be a complete AFC, at first I had crush for almost any girl that I would talk to more often because at elementary school I didn't use to talk to girls. Anyway even when I had a crush on a girl I wouldn't show it so basically no progress.

On the other side I was wery shy also and I worked on that for two years and I became much more sociable and comfortable around other people though I still fight the shyness a bit.

First real experience with girl was on my 18. birdthday party, my classmate, very drunk basically made out with all of the guys there, even with me. That was my first kiss on the lips from a girl. Though it is kinda lame when I think about it but this gave me a bit of the needed confidence.

The main change though came in December last year, once again I had a crush on one of my classmates and since I wasn't as shy anymore I decided to show it. On a school trip I told her how I feel and brouhgt her a candy heart, she said that she doesn't want me to get my hopes high and basically LJBF talk. I felt embarrassed but on the other hand I felt good because I did something that I was afraid of. Anyway she then stopped talking to me at school and I began getting over her.

The new years eve came and I decided to hit the bars with friends, got drunk and went on the dance floor, made out with one girl there. Another confidence boost.

During January I began to go to the bars more often, got another make out with a girl and met one girl from my school with who I texted on FB, she did like me a bit and found me attractive but I didn't make any move with her and eventually she found a BF. On the other hand her friend started texting me too, with her it went a bit further but more on that later, for now let's call her Anne.

February went well, hitting the clubs, got makeouts, two nuber closes but texted with only one of them, anyway when I asked her out she didn't reply back. This is also the month when I found this site.

We can skip March, I got nothing during that month, the only thing worth mentioning is that I got a first real face to face conversation with Anne. In April I went to a big party in a villiage nearby, during the party I got nothing but when I was going home in a bus one girl sat next to me and I chatted her up. We ended up making out on a bus stop for about two hours. She got my number, though I didn't get her but I didn't plan on contacting her either because she said that she has a boyfriend. She then contacted me, we texted a bit and I went out with her once but didn't kiss close or anything.

May came and with that two important events, birthday parties of two of my classmates. First one was a small party with a lot of people I knew, there was this hot HB8, sister of one of my female classmate. At first I didn't want to do anything with her but we got drunk, I was really drunk and we began dancing, I started kinoing her hard. She was smiling a lot at me, but I didn't kiss close, too many people were watching and so on, but I think I could have if I wanted to.

The other party was with a lot of girls I didn't knew, at first I was just with my friends keeping to myself but then I went to sit between my friend and those girls. We began talking, joking. One girl Denise, 3 years older than me, showed a huge amount of IL, I went out for a while and when I came back she smiled at me came to me and we talked again. But once again she was a friend of my friend so I didn't kiss close. But she, her sister and her friend were all blown away by me. The whole evening they were saying how great I am, Denise even said that I have a great looking face.

Some more minor things in may were that I began to work out heavily, I used to work out before but not enough to have any significant progress. I also went on a first date with Anne, kiss closed with her.

June wasn't as active as may, I had to learn a lot to school, but went out on a party, made out with two girls but again I was drunk as hell. Things progressed nicely with Anne, I kiss closed her a couple of times again but I seriously didn't want any relationship and I kept telling her so. Though she said that she doesn't know anyone who she'd like as much as me.

In July I got just one makeout with a HB8 (the one that unfriended me on FB after friday) I texted her on FB, tried to set up a date but she flaked, so I went NC. I still was going out with Anne, though a bit less because we didn't have as much opportunities.

In August I went out with Anne again, but during the date we argued a bit she left and I went home too. I went NC with her for a week. One night, it was my namesday, I went out to a party in a nearbay villiage again, only with my friend. We got drunk and he dissappeared so I decided to pick up a girl. That's when I met Merry, it escalated quite quickly, I was with her until the morning and I already wrote about how it progressed. Anyway the day after I met Merry, Anne wrote to me saying, happy namesday. I didn't reply, she then asked me if I'm really that angry, so I replied told her that it was mayor disrespect from her, she then said that she came back but I wasn't there anymore, but that she saw me leaving. Anyway she apologised and we were texting again. After two days Merry added me on FB and Anne began asking who she was, well I didn't want to tell her who she was so I was avoiding the answer. After a couple of day Anne wrote to me, quite angry that she just wants us to be friends, at first she didn't want to say why but after me asking her about it she said that it's because I was going out with her and picking up other women as well. So I let her go, I said that I don't want to be friends. Well now she doesn't even say hi to me when I see her at school. Anyway a week later I went out with Merry and the rest you know.

So as you can see I'm not that inexperienced with women, I can pick them up quite easily, I know I am good looking and so on, but I have almost no experience when it comes to something more serious as you can see. Anne wasn't as hot as Merry so I might have acted uconsiously a bit different to her than to Merry.

Right now though I have to find some new girl, I get a lot of looks and smiles from one on my english class, but I don't plan on picking her up yet.

Also I finally got some results from working out, some classmates were looking at me and said that I gained some weight (mostly muscles) and that I have a nice ass. One said that I look better than I used to, though she said that to one of her friends and I wasn't supposed to hear it.

So yeah I am good looking and have a certain charisma, especially when I have a good mood and meet a girl for the first time, I blow them all away, I had even guys tell me that I am great when they first met me.

The biggest problems were when I was supposed to meet them again, I began being nervous though I'm improving on that and it is fading away. For example I wasn't so nervous with Merry, only a bit before our first date.

So now it's really just about introducing myself to some girls. Though I am afraid of cold approach other that at bars or so. I couldn't easily cold approach at school for example, though I have a friend that can do it and sometimes I go with him to meet chicks at school.

 

[NobodyCares1]

No sh!t, this needs to be priority #1.

Indeed, but yeah when I have friends who all drink a lot it's not so easy, I can drink a lot and still look ok, but if I drink a bit too much I become completely disoriented and remember nothing. I drank at least 0,6 liter of vodka on friday, maybe even more, about two beers and one cup of wine.

 

[sighsigh]

Nm.

 

[NobodyCares1]

Crap!

So I went out today with the mindset to pick up girls and ended up with nothing. I did just one real cold approach, which was no success. I talked to a lot of girls but mostly groups of girls and didn't do anything sexual so I guess nothing from that. But I hope that this night won't be completely fruitless, I did talk to one girl that I introduced myself to two weeks ago when I was drunk. Just a couple of sentences. First she said that we already know eachother, because I didn't remember her, then I asked her why won't she say hi to me at school, and she said that because she was quite a lot drunk two weeks ago too.

Well we reintroduced ourselves (I still don't know her name, fvck why can't I remember any names when I drink? even a little bit) and she said that she will say hi to me next time at school, she showed some IL but her friends dragged her away really fast.

So to sum it up this night seems like a complete failure, the worst part is that outing like this probably won't happen for next 4 weeks which is a long time. Also this unsucces makes things worse after the stuff with Merry. I shoud've got some girl two weeks ago when I was feeling empowered.

I didn't get even a decent eye contact...