Journal... Nobody Cares!

[NobodyCares1]

Today I'm not going to ask about girls though I need an advice. I have to prepare a speech to school and since I'm not so good at talking in front of people I need a good topic what to talk about. It should be just 5 - 10 minutes long. I take this as a challenge to face my fear of speaking in front of people, and since there will be maybe just 15 of my classmates that's not many.

So any advice what to talk about?
Any tips what to do/ what not to do etc.?

 

[NobodyCares1]

seriously some advice would be helpful...

 

[NobodyCares1]

Killing desperation!

So after the whole thing with Merry, I haven't got any action for more than 6 weeks. My game is probably at the bottom, I'm beginning to be desperate and my excessive alcohol drinking for the last month doesn't help.

I was in a cottage with my class this weekend, and had a good opportunity with one girl, but I was drunk and went too fast on her, scared her off. Basically we were in a hall, alone, though anyone could come there at any time. She just said something about her ass, and said "Try it, grab my ass." So I grabbed her ass but then said something like "Nice, let's go out." (to be somewhere private so we could make out of course) I said it kinda jokingly but still, she then said some bull**** and left. I should've escalated KINO a bit and I could've got her. Anyway she ended up making out with my friend, who has no game whatsoever, she was probably first girl he ever made out with, but I guess no game is better than desperate game.

I have no idea how to get rid of that desperation other than getting a girl, but I have to try something.

 

[goundra]

wow, reminds me of why i didn't bother with girls in high school. much angst, over nothing.

 

[Fly By Night]

She just said something about her ass, and said "Try it, grab my ass." So I grabbed her ass but then said something like "Nice, let's go out." (to be somewhere private so we could make out of course) I said it kinda jokingly but still, she then said some bull**** and left. I should've escalated KINO a bit and I could've got her.

"Nice, let's go out." (to be somewhere private so we could make out of course)

You seemed to get really eager to make out with her, although I don't know how much kino you were doing. The "grab my ass" line was to get you to touch her, you did it then all of a sudden thought you were "in". You're trying to get intimate with her without building it up. (Think about walking up to a random woman and asking "Sex?")

So you're right, escalate it. You could went for the ass grab then pulled her in a little to close some distance then you could've continued from there.

 

[NobodyCares1]

"Nice, let's go out." (to be somewhere private so we could make out of course)

You seemed to get really eager to make out with her, although I don't know how much kino you were doing. The "grab my ass" line was to get you to touch her, you did it then all of a sudden thought you were "in". You're trying to get intimate with her without building it up. (Think about walking up to a random woman and asking "Sex?")

So you're right, escalate it. You could went for the ass grab then pulled her in a little to close some distance then you could've continued from there.

I realise that very well, but when I'm drunk too much I do this stupid stuff.

 

[NobodyCares1]

So I have some important stuff to write here, let's start with friday.

College girls

I was out with guys the whole friday evening until I met my classmate with her friends who are going to college and are rarely in town now. I chatted with them and then my classmate went home and left me with three college girls, they asked me if I'll go to one bar with them, so I went. Now I didn't get any action from them (except for hugging and some touching), but I'm positive that if I could isolate one of them I could get at least a make out, anyway it was almost impossible to isolate just one of them so I let it go.

But I thought about it and the college girls seem to be less cold. I mean I have been out like this with college girls only twice but each time they showed their interest a lot, the younger girls seem to try to hide it, or not show it as much, which is kinda annoying.

Now let's cut to the important part, Saturday:

Back in the game

So two of my friends were celebrating birthday this week and my other friend was celebrating namesday, I had birthday this week too so we threw a party at a cottage in a forest near the town.

When I was going there I was in quite a bad mood, didn't even think that I'd pick up a girl there, though I hoped I would. Anyway there were only five girls, two of them in a relationship and a lot of guys. I knew that if I wanted to get a girl I had to be different than most guys, so I didn't give almost any attention to women at first, later I chatted one, she was that kind of tough girl type, rude and trying to be dominant, but I was mostly just arguing with her and negging her etc. After a while she gave me a light slap, so I grabbed her hand and said very seriously "Never do that." Then I grabbed her around the waist, pulled her close to me, and went for the kill.

SCORE! We ended up making out for the whole night, I fingered her a lot, later I put her hand on my d!ck and she whipped it out and stroked it, though she stroked it very hard, it hurted more than it was a pleasure. I wanted to go down on her and then f close but there were no room, the cottage was small and all the rooms were taken, I had nowhere to fvck. We ended up in the kitchen where there was very cold and she was already very tired.

Now I don't think my performance was good, it was my first time after all. One thing I couldn't understand though was that when I was fingering her, she was breathing fast and loudly, grabbing my back tightly, she could barely stand, this got me horny as hell, but after a while she always grabbed my hand and pulled it away from her before she could orgasm or anything. I thought that it might hurt her but it didn't seem like that so I have no idea why she would do that.

The other thing that got me thinking was how she reminded me of Merry. She goes to the same area to school. Her body was very similar to Merry's, only boobs were smaller, Merry was shorter and had darker complexion. Merry is hotter though, especially her face is better looking. Still she reminded me of her a lot. And Merry messed with my head real bad.

Though I'm glad that after a month and a half I finally got some action and that I pushed my borders further, got a new experience. But still I should be now feeling great but, well I feel a bit miserable, I don't know why, I should be feeling good.

 

[NobodyCares1]

I have one question now though, I thought about making this girl my fvck buddy if it's possible. But I have no idea how, I've never done that before. She has a reputation of being quite easy but still. Or should I just let it go and see if I meet her someday somewhere and take it from there?

 

[Fly By Night]

I have only one eff buddy and how I got her was not the "conventional" way of doing it, but you should never think of there being a "right" way in any of this dating/pick-up sh!t. It should all be dynamic and a different experience with every woman.

That being said, the conventional way of getting an eff buddy is to actually eff them in the first place... :l If the logistics do not permit, then you should've gotten her number to meet up some other time or invite her out another time. You didn't say you got her number so... You're going to have to luck out to run into her again. (preferably at a social gathering) The problem is that she would have came down from her "drunk high" and would not be as loose/drunk to feel okay with giving out her number, esp. since it would definitely result in getting laid. (Thanks, social norms)

Depends on the girl though. I wouldn't stress too much about a chick you met at a party though. I'm sure if you go out next weekend you can find another girl.

I knew that if I wanted to get a girl I had to be different than most guys, so I didn't give almost any attention to women at first

This is great, but focus on fun and having a good time. Not trying to make yourself look like a badass who is higher than women. Fun will get women to gravitate towards you much faster. I could be wrong, but it could have been straight up luck that she started talking to you, esp. if you did not look like you were a fun guy.

 

[NobodyCares1]

I have only one eff buddy and how I got her was not the "conventional" way of doing it, but you should never think of there being a "right" way in any of this dating/pick-up sh!t. It should all be dynamic and a different experience with every woman.

That being said, the conventional way of getting an eff buddy is to actually eff them in the first place... :l If the logistics do not permit, then you should've gotten her number to meet up some other time or invite her out another time. You didn't say you got her number so... You're going to have to luck out to run into her again. (preferably at a social gathering) The problem is that she would have came down from her "drunk high" and would not be as loose/drunk to feel okay with giving out her number, esp. since it would definitely result in getting laid. (Thanks, social norms)

Depends on the girl though. I wouldn't stress too much about a chick you met at a party though. I'm sure if you go out next weekend you can find another girl.

Yeah you're right, I guess theres nothing I can do now. This is actually my main problem, I get a girl but I have nowhere to take her to be private. :cuss: Another problem around here is that there are a lot of girls who won't have anything more than a make out with you even after a half year of being in a relationship, so you have to search a bit more for those who are willing to have sex.

My last two times were lucky, I could've banged Merry and I could've banged this chick if I only had a place where to do it.

This is great, but focus on fun and having a good time. Not trying to make yourself look like a badass who is higher than women. Fun will get women to gravitate towards you much faster. I could be wrong, but it could have been straight up luck that she started talking to you, esp. if you did not look like you were a fun guy.

Well I wasn't trying that much to be a bad ass, I just didn't run to them to welcome them and introduce myself when they came as a lot of guys did. I approached her a bit later with a friend who already knew her. Though in conversation I was much more rude that I usually am but that was because she was a bit bossy and trying to look tough and rude. Anyway after a while I became more playful with her.

Still I have to act a bit bad ass because I have the nice guy appearance. A lot of girl told me I look like an angel. So very innocent and nice. That's why I have to act a bit bad boyish.

 

[NobodyCares1]

So kind of a field report from yesterday, got drunk again, not good, I spent a lot of money and basically no action. Still I paid for my friends so it's ok.

Anyway at first I was at a friends party, got a bit drunk. Then I and two of my friends went to a disco in a village nearby. In a bus we chatted this three chicks, one was average, one above average and other was quite hot. Well we handed them a bottle with alcohol. After a while I began talking to the above average one. I decided to be a bit more agressive with KINO so I took her hand, talked with her for a while, she then sat next to me I put my arm around her and we talked some more. I kinda pussied out and didn't close in, but it was also partially because I thought I'd be at the disco with her too. Anyway we arrived there, the girl went with her friends I went with mine.

I got even more drunk, then I met her again, she wated to go dance but I didn't really feel like it so I told her to rather go for a walk with me but she refused so I went back to my firends, got even more drunk. I'm sure I could've closed if I danced with her and then took her for a walk but at that point I've also wanted to be with my friends.

I saw her once again later that evening, but then she was really drunk and some guy was taking care of her so I let it go.

Some unrelated to girls stuff is that my friend fought with some guy, he beat the sh!t out of him then there were some problems with his firends, that I've talked out so there were no more fighting.

In the morning when I was drunk as sh!t I remember only that I talked to some girls, one cute blonde, though she was really drunk, so bascially I talked more to her friend who kind of c0ckblocked me, but I didn't really care since it was time to go home. I also sat behind them in the bus, talked some sh!t, I don't really remember.

Also during the evening, I chatted with one female bartender, talked her to give us a bargain, well basically she didn't give me a bargain but she gave more than twice as much alcohol as I've paid for. Then chatted another bartender, this time it was a guy and he kept on pouring me alcohol for free, still I gave him some money, but not nearly as much as the alcohol he gave me would cost.

To summarize the evening I spent a lot of money yesterday and got no action. But this happens, at leat I've tried how it is to be a bit more agressive with KINO, worked really well. Now since there won't be many discos or anything untill new years eve I should try some more day game, though to be honest I'm kind of afraid of just cold approaching alone, if I'm with a friend it's ok, but then I usually don't game the girls.

 

[NobodyCares1]

So the blonde added me on Facebook, interesting that she remembers me. I remeber that I wanted her number, her friend then took my phone and pretended to write it there, of course she didn't write it for real, I knew it but didn't really care.

But that's the only thing I remember from my conversation with them, nothing more, I don't even remember if I KINOed her or something. Though I'd like to game her, it will be tough because my text game sucks but we'll see.

 

[NobodyCares1]

Hmm... so she doesn't remember me, she wrote to me that she doesn't know me and that her friend added me on her FB account while she was gone. :crazy:

 

[NobodyCares1]

Oneitis/finding out what went wrong

Since I have holiday since monday, I had a lot of free time, which is not necesarrily good, because it gave me time to overthink stuff and I feel my oneitis for Merry coming back, it was gone after I was with that girl in the cottage. Still it isn't as strong as it used to but it is bothering me.

One positive thing is that I probably finally found the breaking point when it all went downhill. It happened much sooner than I thought, we continued going out together for a month after that but when I think about it she wasn't as passionate after that point as she used to be.

The thing happened a week after our first date, though we've been on four dates already by that time, that was basically our fifth date, about 3 weeks after I approached her. There was again a disco at the same place where I met her, we both knew we will be there. I'd say the night went really good, though we had a minor fight or how to call it. She came back to me, asked me to go dancing with her. I didn't really felt like dancing so I just went inside with her and talked a bit with her brother.

He then said to me that she likes me. She then came to me after a while and asked me what has her brother said, and I said that he said she likes me. After a couple of seconds she went to him and told him something. Then I went to her and danced with her, after a while she took my hand, dragged me on a balcony where we sat and made out for a good while. She then had to go home so I walked her to her house. Made out with her for a while again, said goodbye and left.

When I was in a bus she sent me a text message, something like:

"Hi, I'm sorry I couldn't be with you longer but I really had to go home. I really like you (probably). Good night"

Of course at that time it didn't occur to me that it was a sh!t test. My reply was:

"Probably? It's ok, I almost missed the bus. Good night"

She wrote to me back:

"Well, I'd tell you for sure but I don't know how you feel about me."

At this point I just assumed she was kind of afraid to tell me how she feels because her ex BF cheated on her.

My response was just:

"I'll tell you personally when we see eachother "

And that was still fine I'd say but I AFCed out completely next time we met. She didn't bring it up, and I should let it go, but as dumb as I was back then I brought it up, expected her to tell me she really likes me for sure. :crazy: So I told her I do like her. Her immidiate response to that was just:

"That's surprising." with ironic tone.

I think this was the breaking point, maybe it could've been fixed after if I'd play it really well, but I didn't. I'm glad though that I have finally figured this out, because now I can really learn something from it.

 

[NobodyCares1]

Black out

I wrote here about the Saturday night that I got drunk, I couldn't remember a lot of stuff, but didn't think anything important happened, well I added the girl from the bus on FB, we texted a bit. Turns out I came to her later and we made out.

She kept saying stuff like she never does stuff like this, but that her BF broke up with her a month ago and that it has been tough and that she was really drunk. She couldn't remember what happened either, but her friends told her that she was kissing with me. Kept asking me if I think something bad about her, I told her that I don't.

Another thing I noticed that I get looks from girls I don't know again, this haven't happened in a long time. One girl at school gave me really weird look yesterday, she did it twice, as if I did some stupid stuff around her when I was drunk which might be true, she is kinda hot though. Another girl at school just smiled and looked at me today, when I was passing her on the stairs. And one another looked at me and smiled in a shopping centre today, also when I was passing her on the stairs. Now I don't know if it's because they know me, or saw me when I was drunk or if it's just because I smiled a lot today and was in a good, confident mood.

Oh I got another stare from the blondie friend, but she didn't smile, I probably did some stupid stuff around her. :rock:

So seriously, I have to drink less, much less...

 

[NobodyCares1]

You're very handsome and everything but I like someone else.

That's the rejection from a girl I got yesterday, we danced, talked and I didn't make a move on her she just threw that line in a conversation after a while. I never got a rejection like this.

Though when I think about it I might still have closed the deal with her, maybe if I'd play it really well but I was drunk and didn't really care.

 

[NobodyCares1]

Out of the game again :cuss:

So yes this is going to be just runt about how I couldn't score a chick in three months agian! Fvck this I know that the girls can smell the desperation. There aren't even as much opportunities to meet girls as there used to, soon I have a school-leaving exam at school so my life revolves a lot around that, but still I'm annoyed with not scoring any girl.

This happened to me before when I went NC on my oneitis, I couldn't score a chick in two months but then I did and the week after that one chcick even broke up with her boyfriend because of me. Then there were again no opportunities to meet women so I got out of my game again. Haven't scored a single chick since then, though a lot of them seemed interested.

It hurts when I remember the times when chicks chased after me and I scored one almost every two weeks. I know I could get to that mindset again but I need to score at least one girl to get the confidence back.

 

[NobodyCares1]

One positive thing though, for the last couple of weeks I seem to get along better with other guys and basically improving my relations with them. I made some new friends and got to know better some guys who I knew but not well.

They are friendlier too, I wonder if it has any connection to my success with women. Or maybe I'm not as focused on picking up chicks when I'm out as I used to. I think I'm more focused on getting to know people generally and it has been only guys lately. (No gay )