Reyaj
Master Don Juan
Dont worry... I'm gaining confidence little by little. I need to stop thinking of my ex and start getting back to the player thats inside me. I will start approaching and will finish this goal!
Jayer's 100 Approach Journal (Will Finish 100 approaches no matter what)
- Thread starter Reyaj
- Start date
I haven't read all of this but you'll be fine.
Just think of it as meeting someone not approaches. Make an offhand comment or ask for an opinion. You certainly don't have to close every girl you meet and you wont want to.
Just think of it as meeting someone not approaches. Make an offhand comment or ask for an opinion. You certainly don't have to close every girl you meet and you wont want to.
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
ok... if I do that, should I still post what happend here? Or should I only count approaches in which I ask for the number?
Jayer,
Your doing just fine. It takes a lot of time and courage to do what your doing.
Try to keep it simple with your approach. Something like, "Hey, how are you?" and then take it from there. Its good to have something clever lined up, use it...
Don't look to much into anything. Just meet people. Someone on this forum or one of the others recommended the "30 days" with no girlfriend approach (or something to that effect.)
Just decide that for the next 30 days you will go out and meet girls without trying to find a girlfriend. Just go out and meet people. You can build up your skills and find some new friends this way. Its always nice to have female friends to hang around with too.
Your doing just fine. It takes a lot of time and courage to do what your doing.
Try to keep it simple with your approach. Something like, "Hey, how are you?" and then take it from there. Its good to have something clever lined up, use it...
Don't look to much into anything. Just meet people. Someone on this forum or one of the others recommended the "30 days" with no girlfriend approach (or something to that effect.)
Just decide that for the next 30 days you will go out and meet girls without trying to find a girlfriend. Just go out and meet people. You can build up your skills and find some new friends this way. Its always nice to have female friends to hang around with too.
white_hype
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2003
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don't sweat it man, never stress about this stuff (its hard not to, I know) but you need to reframe. WHy are you doing this? to learn and have fun. THink of it as an opportunity for growth, which can be scary at first (you will have to go outside your comfort zone to grow) but it IS worth it
Also, don't follow everyones advice. Sure listen to it, learn from it, and decide for yourself. Anyone who is negative in this thread (to a point) DO NOT LISTEN TO. Believe me on that. Guys that are struggling and making an effort to be a PUA should be respected and postively encouraged. If someone is negative about your thinking/efforts then DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. People always said i was "wasting my time" "it will happen eventually dont worry" "whats the big deal" "who cares" etc, they doubt you most likely b/c they doubt themselves
when poeple say asking a girl if shes single and for her number in the first 3 lines is "stupid" "waste of time" "dont do it" say **** THEM.
I've done this and hooked up with hot chicks as a result so they can go fvck themselves... "oh well just having a convo would hlep more" well I dont give a crap, I dont have time to invest 5+ minsutes with every girl I see, nor do I want to, ESPECIALLY when starting out.
WHen I started out I just wanted to get over the fear of approaching and get used to approaching hot girls in any situation. What I said and the reulsts after the approach were meaningless to me. You dont wake up one day and say "hmm I want to be QB for the Giants, Im going to go do that" without having started out playing when you were younger and gradually getting good at it
Heres what I use when I dont have time/want to talk to girls (I also used this when I was first starting out ALL THE TIME and IT WORKS. I got over my fear this way and i actually hooked up with girls b/c of it. After i got comfortable I could have GOOD convos with random girls all the time).
Solid EC throughout
me- Hey (smile, body language not directly facing them)
her- hi
me- I'm really busy right now and have to get going, but can I ask you a question real quick
her- sure (never had someone reject this, if they did, who cares)
me- are you single
her - yes/no (didnt matter when first starting out)
if no, then i said - alright, well have a nice day (walked on)
if yes, - cool, how about you give me your number and if we get along on the phone, then maybe we can go out for coffee or something
if she agrees i take out my cell and have her punch it in
me-cool, well got to run, talk to you soon
after a while you will stop being nervous when approaching girls. That is HUGE. THen you can do whatever you want and REALLY have fun with it
When first starting out I got rejected A LOT and i felt GOOD about it. I felt better after appraoching and getting rejected rather than not approaching at all. WHY? b/c i set up my limits for failure (creidt tony robbins, d/l some of his tapes, they are SO DAM GOOD). For me to fail, it was simply not approraching. If all i could say was "Hi how are you" then it was a success. This allowed me to feel good afterwards and motivated me to get better each time and KEEP doing it and NOT QUIT AFTER 7 TIMES LOL. For me to feel bad about something I had to believe it. IF the girl said "you are ugly" It was only true for me if I beileved it.
Keep approaching man. It is worth it. SO many cool things have happened as a result
Also, don't follow everyones advice. Sure listen to it, learn from it, and decide for yourself. Anyone who is negative in this thread (to a point) DO NOT LISTEN TO. Believe me on that. Guys that are struggling and making an effort to be a PUA should be respected and postively encouraged. If someone is negative about your thinking/efforts then DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. People always said i was "wasting my time" "it will happen eventually dont worry" "whats the big deal" "who cares" etc, they doubt you most likely b/c they doubt themselves
when poeple say asking a girl if shes single and for her number in the first 3 lines is "stupid" "waste of time" "dont do it" say **** THEM.
I've done this and hooked up with hot chicks as a result so they can go fvck themselves... "oh well just having a convo would hlep more" well I dont give a crap, I dont have time to invest 5+ minsutes with every girl I see, nor do I want to, ESPECIALLY when starting out.
WHen I started out I just wanted to get over the fear of approaching and get used to approaching hot girls in any situation. What I said and the reulsts after the approach were meaningless to me. You dont wake up one day and say "hmm I want to be QB for the Giants, Im going to go do that" without having started out playing when you were younger and gradually getting good at it
Heres what I use when I dont have time/want to talk to girls (I also used this when I was first starting out ALL THE TIME and IT WORKS. I got over my fear this way and i actually hooked up with girls b/c of it. After i got comfortable I could have GOOD convos with random girls all the time).
Solid EC throughout
me- Hey (smile, body language not directly facing them)
her- hi
me- I'm really busy right now and have to get going, but can I ask you a question real quick
her- sure (never had someone reject this, if they did, who cares)
me- are you single
her - yes/no (didnt matter when first starting out)
if no, then i said - alright, well have a nice day (walked on)
if yes, - cool, how about you give me your number and if we get along on the phone, then maybe we can go out for coffee or something
if she agrees i take out my cell and have her punch it in
me-cool, well got to run, talk to you soon
after a while you will stop being nervous when approaching girls. That is HUGE. THen you can do whatever you want and REALLY have fun with it
When first starting out I got rejected A LOT and i felt GOOD about it. I felt better after appraoching and getting rejected rather than not approaching at all. WHY? b/c i set up my limits for failure (creidt tony robbins, d/l some of his tapes, they are SO DAM GOOD). For me to fail, it was simply not approraching. If all i could say was "Hi how are you" then it was a success. This allowed me to feel good afterwards and motivated me to get better each time and KEEP doing it and NOT QUIT AFTER 7 TIMES LOL. For me to feel bad about something I had to believe it. IF the girl said "you are ugly" It was only true for me if I beileved it.
Keep approaching man. It is worth it. SO many cool things have happened as a result
white_hype
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2003
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- 522
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- 1
then what? what if she yells and makes a scene? then what? the next day NO ONE will give a ****, no one will remember you. If they do it's b/c they have so little going on in their life that it doesnt even matter if they remember. Even if they do remember, what happnes? fvcking nothing
my 2 fears were this:
1- my ego would be shattered (i used to be really good with girls, hooked up TONS, friends looked up to me, but i got really busy with school and got rusty with girls. when I started sarging again I messed up a lot and didnt appraoch as much b/c i feared my confidence would shatter. I feared that I really wasn't all that special and my friends wouldnt think i was that cool/good anymore.
2- I feared I would just stall and look like a dumbass.
I got over these 2 fears 100% 6 months ago. PM me if you want to know, Im tired of typing especially if no one even cares lol
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
Ok I went to a strip club yesterday by myself and I got a number from a dancer! Here is what happend. The place was very dead, there were like 3 people in there. Well there was this one dancer on stage talking to a customer who was sitting near the stage. SO I actually sat down and was away from the stage. So while she was talking to this other guy, she saw me made eye contact and pointed for me to sit near the stage. I shook my head no, and said I was watching tv. She seemed disappointed and said "you don't come here to watch tv" I just smiled and kept sitting where I was. So anyway after a few songs later I was a little bored, so I went by the stage a little bit away from where she was dancing and sat down. She finished up talking to the guy and came over to me. I gave her dollar and asked her for her name. She told me, and then said she was getting off stage. I asked her for a lap dance so she came off stage and took me to the back (where the lap dances are done) We made small conversation and it turns out the town I am from is where she hangs out a lot, and she lives nearby.
I then asked her what nationality she was, and it turns out it was the same as me. After our lap dances, I asked her if she would sit by me and she agreed. She started talking to me about how her ex broke her heart becaue his parents wouldnt allow him to date her, and how she will never believe a guy again when they say "I love you"
She then started saying that this dancing is a temporary thing, and she really wants to be a cop but she doesn't want to take 60 college credits. I basically told her I had to get going, but I'd like to go out with her sometime and get to know her better. She smiled and said "that would be nice" she wrote her number down for me and asked me for mine, so I wrote mine down. She did ask for my age and I told her I was 26. She said age was a problem in her last relationship and that her ex's friends influenced him against her. She made me promise i would never tell my friends that I met her there, so I assured her I wouldn't.
This girl is obviously older than me, I am guessing in her 30s. Point is I approached and got a number.
Approaches: 6
Numbers: 3
While I don't see anything long term with this girl, I have to admit it has helped my confidence. Hope to start adding more approaches at a frequent rate.
I then asked her what nationality she was, and it turns out it was the same as me. After our lap dances, I asked her if she would sit by me and she agreed. She started talking to me about how her ex broke her heart becaue his parents wouldnt allow him to date her, and how she will never believe a guy again when they say "I love you"
She then started saying that this dancing is a temporary thing, and she really wants to be a cop but she doesn't want to take 60 college credits. I basically told her I had to get going, but I'd like to go out with her sometime and get to know her better. She smiled and said "that would be nice" she wrote her number down for me and asked me for mine, so I wrote mine down. She did ask for my age and I told her I was 26. She said age was a problem in her last relationship and that her ex's friends influenced him against her. She made me promise i would never tell my friends that I met her there, so I assured her I wouldn't.
This girl is obviously older than me, I am guessing in her 30s. Point is I approached and got a number.
Approaches: 6
Numbers: 3
While I don't see anything long term with this girl, I have to admit it has helped my confidence. Hope to start adding more approaches at a frequent rate.
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
White Hype and Meadow thanks for the advice! I just read it now and it inspires me.
White Hype: Where should I pm you?
White Hype: Where should I pm you?
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
Ok.... you all better be proud of me! I did 3 approaches today! Well actually 2 that count because one is hard to determine whether I went for her number or not.
1.) I went to a bar with my friend with very cute bartenders. After drinking for a bit there was this 1 very sexy bartender that would make eye contact with me every now and again and hold it. She was actually spanish and didnt speak much english. My friend who was with me was talking to a different bartender.
So I asked the bartender that my friend was talking to if she was friends with the bartender I liked. She said she was, so I asked her if the bartender I liked had a boyfriend. She laughed and said she didn't know. Then she's like let me ask her "so she says he wants to know if you have a boyfriend" she smiled and in spanish said, "no all men are pigs" then she walked away.
Well before I left I motioned to her to come over. I basically said "I know you're working but I'd really like to get to know you better. She said she doesn't speak english well, and I said i don't speak spanish well but we'll help each other. I then gave her a business card with my work phone on there, and I told her so. She asked if I had a cell phone, and I said yeah so she got a pen and I wrote it on the back of the business card. This girl is very hot and I don't expect a phone call. I am not counting this as part of the stats cause I didnt officially go for the phone number.
2.) Same bar, different room, I walked in and saw another cute bartender working. I asked for a glass of water and immediately made small convo with her. I asked how long she's been working there, where she is from. Then I'm like "can I ask you a question" she's like "sure" "do you have a boyfriend" she seemed very surprised and started laughing in an oh boy not another one way. "No I am single, but I am happy" she said it very sternly. I said nice meeting you and she walked away.
3.) Ok this approach was actually done outside in public. I was at college and decided to walk past the freshman dorms. Well i was staning against a staircase with my friend outside when I saw a girl on her cell phone approaching. I told my friend watch this.
Me: Excuse me can I ask you a question
Her: (tells the person she's talking to to hold on and puts her phone down) sure
Me: Do you know how to get to blank building
Her: Yeah let me see (started describing the path I would need to take)
Me: ok thanks, cause Im supposed to meet my cousin there and I dont know the way.
Her: oh no problem
Me: I'm Jayer by the way
Her: oh I'm (some common name, I honestly don't remember)
Me: Can I ask you another question?
Her: Sure
Me: Are you single?
Her: (pausing for half a second, and then giggling a lot) no sorry
Me: oh ok it was nice meeting you
She just walked off and started talking to whoever she was on the phone with.
Bottom Line
Approaches: 8
Numbers: 3
1.) I went to a bar with my friend with very cute bartenders. After drinking for a bit there was this 1 very sexy bartender that would make eye contact with me every now and again and hold it. She was actually spanish and didnt speak much english. My friend who was with me was talking to a different bartender.
So I asked the bartender that my friend was talking to if she was friends with the bartender I liked. She said she was, so I asked her if the bartender I liked had a boyfriend. She laughed and said she didn't know. Then she's like let me ask her "so she says he wants to know if you have a boyfriend" she smiled and in spanish said, "no all men are pigs" then she walked away.
Well before I left I motioned to her to come over. I basically said "I know you're working but I'd really like to get to know you better. She said she doesn't speak english well, and I said i don't speak spanish well but we'll help each other. I then gave her a business card with my work phone on there, and I told her so. She asked if I had a cell phone, and I said yeah so she got a pen and I wrote it on the back of the business card. This girl is very hot and I don't expect a phone call. I am not counting this as part of the stats cause I didnt officially go for the phone number.
2.) Same bar, different room, I walked in and saw another cute bartender working. I asked for a glass of water and immediately made small convo with her. I asked how long she's been working there, where she is from. Then I'm like "can I ask you a question" she's like "sure" "do you have a boyfriend" she seemed very surprised and started laughing in an oh boy not another one way. "No I am single, but I am happy" she said it very sternly. I said nice meeting you and she walked away.
3.) Ok this approach was actually done outside in public. I was at college and decided to walk past the freshman dorms. Well i was staning against a staircase with my friend outside when I saw a girl on her cell phone approaching. I told my friend watch this.
Me: Excuse me can I ask you a question
Her: (tells the person she's talking to to hold on and puts her phone down) sure
Me: Do you know how to get to blank building
Her: Yeah let me see (started describing the path I would need to take)
Me: ok thanks, cause Im supposed to meet my cousin there and I dont know the way.
Her: oh no problem
Me: I'm Jayer by the way
Her: oh I'm (some common name, I honestly don't remember)
Me: Can I ask you another question?
Her: Sure
Me: Are you single?
Her: (pausing for half a second, and then giggling a lot) no sorry
Me: oh ok it was nice meeting you
She just walked off and started talking to whoever she was on the phone with.
Bottom Line
Approaches: 8
Numbers: 3
white_hype
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2003
- Messages
- 522
- Reaction score
- 1
awesome job man, keep that **** up and within 3 months you will be AMAZED at what happens
just hit the PM button, I cleaned out my PM box... that is if you still want to Pm me
how did the cold apporach by the freshman dorms feel? how did you feel before the approach? during? after?
later man, keep it up!
just hit the PM button, I cleaned out my PM box... that is if you still want to Pm me
how did the cold apporach by the freshman dorms feel? how did you feel before the approach? during? after?
later man, keep it up!
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
White Hype: definitely would want to hear about your experiences. I think this is the best way for me to get over any ph33r and improve my game. I have to admit, I usually psyche myself out by overthinking the situation, I think you need to just do it.
As I was talking to the freshman chick I felt fine, when I brought up the "are you single" question I felt actually ok... but she did flat out reject me. it wasn't too bad though, definitely worth taking a shot. I hope I have better luck on the next target.
You know I'll post about it until I hit 100!
As I was talking to the freshman chick I felt fine, when I brought up the "are you single" question I felt actually ok... but she did flat out reject me. it wasn't too bad though, definitely worth taking a shot. I hope I have better luck on the next target.
You know I'll post about it until I hit 100!
white_hype
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2003
- Messages
- 522
- Reaction score
- 1
awesome thats how it was for me too when I first started... I knew it was no big deal but I couldn't control my nervous anxiety.. I was really anxious to approach and nervous about it... but when I opened my mouth it all went away (except dry mouth lol) and it was fine. When I got rejected (not failed) I didn't even care, I was just happy to have approached. I actually felt A LOT better after it and went on to do a few more approaches b/c I felt so good.
I'm doing the 100 approaches thing too... but I have to do it before October is over. I plan on getting over 40 by next monday
I'll make a post about it when its over
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
Just something else I want to add. My friend who was standing nearby when I approached that freshman girl outside the dorms made a comment to me afterwards.
He's like "you did good man, but that are you single crap just came out of nowhere"
This really made me start thinking. I think they key is to establish some kind of rapport before asking.
I asked because normally I would have just said thank you and never seen the girl again. At least I made an effort to go for it.
He's like "you did good man, but that are you single crap just came out of nowhere"
This really made me start thinking. I think they key is to establish some kind of rapport before asking.
I asked because normally I would have just said thank you and never seen the girl again. At least I made an effort to go for it.
white_hype
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2003
- Messages
- 522
- Reaction score
- 1
now im confused
are you doing this just to get the 100 approaches under your belt so you can become comfortable/more expereinced with approaches, where results dont matter (at this point)
or are you trying to approach and are wanting some other outcome (a number, a date, a gf, a ons, etc)?
Quit being boring. Heh, I hate to be hard on ya, because what you are doing takes a ****load of balls, especially after you described your background. This is just some constructive critisism.
So yea, quit being boring. Every convo you post is like "hey, where you live, what is your name, what do you do, etc. etc." Now you have to remember that personality really matters to women (more than looks). Imagine a world where tons of faceless women approach you every day. Let's just say while you are out at a bar/club, 20 of these faceless women approach you. 19 of them all talk about the same ****. They ask you boring questions while you politely ask them the same thing (and then not listen to their boring ass life stories). Then one comes up to you and is different. She acts like she is the BOMB and is fun, and makes you work a bit. She has personality and something about her lights a fire in you. Suddenly she seems much more attractive (even though none of them have faces or they all look the same or whatever)...
WELCOME TO A WOMAN'S LIFE!
I'm sad to say that you are one of those 19 that is boring. Do something creative. Say something that guys would never say to her. Make her feel like she isn't good enough for you, and reverse it to HER trying to pick YOU up. Check this out:
Girl is wearing one of those sparkly dresses:
You're approach
You: Hey
Her: Hey
You: That is a pretty dress.
Her: Thanks
You: What is your name, where you live, boring topics.. etc. etc.
My approach (or the DJ approach)
Me: Heyy girl
Her: Hey
Me: I should have worn my sunglasses today.
Her: Why is that?
Me: Your dress is killing my eyes.
Her: (smile, maybe a giggle) omg shut up.
Me: Where did you get that weapon you call a dress?
Her: OMG! (but eventually goes on to talk about her stupid dress)
get her talkin' about stuff that is interesting and fit the boring stuff in here and there in your little convo. Apply some stupid techniques. You got the cold approach **** down but don't forget that C&F, BEING ALPHA, and KINO are key to this.
So yea, quit being boring. Every convo you post is like "hey, where you live, what is your name, what do you do, etc. etc." Now you have to remember that personality really matters to women (more than looks). Imagine a world where tons of faceless women approach you every day. Let's just say while you are out at a bar/club, 20 of these faceless women approach you. 19 of them all talk about the same ****. They ask you boring questions while you politely ask them the same thing (and then not listen to their boring ass life stories). Then one comes up to you and is different. She acts like she is the BOMB and is fun, and makes you work a bit. She has personality and something about her lights a fire in you. Suddenly she seems much more attractive (even though none of them have faces or they all look the same or whatever)...
WELCOME TO A WOMAN'S LIFE!
I'm sad to say that you are one of those 19 that is boring. Do something creative. Say something that guys would never say to her. Make her feel like she isn't good enough for you, and reverse it to HER trying to pick YOU up. Check this out:
Girl is wearing one of those sparkly dresses:
You're approach
You: Hey
Her: Hey
You: That is a pretty dress.
Her: Thanks
You: What is your name, where you live, boring topics.. etc. etc.
My approach (or the DJ approach)
Me: Heyy girl
Her: Hey
Me: I should have worn my sunglasses today.
Her: Why is that?
Me: Your dress is killing my eyes.
Her: (smile, maybe a giggle) omg shut up.
Me: Where did you get that weapon you call a dress?
Her: OMG! (but eventually goes on to talk about her stupid dress)
get her talkin' about stuff that is interesting and fit the boring stuff in here and there in your little convo. Apply some stupid techniques. You got the cold approach **** down but don't forget that C&F, BEING ALPHA, and KINO are key to this.
asmokindeal
New Member
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2005
- Messages
- 6
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- 0
- Age
- 46
The very easiest approach in the world
If you want to get your feet wet and not jump in the deep end just yet...Go to a restaurant like Hooters where the girls are paid to talk to you.
When you get to Hooters, place a stool at the end of the table and when you start chatting with them about how their night is going and how long they have worked there they will sit on the stool and you can flirt untill your heart is content.
My very first cold Number close was a hooters waitress.
This really boosts confidence (just talking to them) and you will see that they are usually just a person that is craving good conversation.
Good luck,
and don't even consider not going through with your initial decleration. You have set a trap for youself and this is a very powerful way to break through your fears.
After your first approach, regardless of the outcome you will feel powerful and exhilerated.
If you want to get your feet wet and not jump in the deep end just yet...Go to a restaurant like Hooters where the girls are paid to talk to you.
When you get to Hooters, place a stool at the end of the table and when you start chatting with them about how their night is going and how long they have worked there they will sit on the stool and you can flirt untill your heart is content.
My very first cold Number close was a hooters waitress.
This really boosts confidence (just talking to them) and you will see that they are usually just a person that is craving good conversation.
Good luck,
and don't even consider not going through with your initial decleration. You have set a trap for youself and this is a very powerful way to break through your fears.
After your first approach, regardless of the outcome you will feel powerful and exhilerated.
Re: The very easiest approach in the world
This is the mother of stupid ideas. Working girls will give you anything to make you feel better so that you can come back and so that you can tip well. That is their goal, whether you do so or not.