Sunshine71
Don Juan
Hi everyone,
I have a question to all/any readers regarding what I percieve to be a contradiction in advice for new and budding DJs.
First, a quick definition of what I mean by the "James Bond" alpha approach. As David DeAngelo explains, Bond rarely smiles beyond his knowing self-assured smirk. Furthermore, I don't think I've _ever_ heard James Bond laugh. Bond never raises his voice in a conversation. Bond is highly sophisticated, calm, collected, witty, casually playful, cool, controlled, etc. etc.
Now, how can one adopt the "James Bond" alpha attitude and at the same time interact with the young age group of today? (I mean mainly those in their early 20's, the college years.) Let me explain the problems as I see them.
1). First and foremost, people usually forget that James Bond is in his forties. This age group actually has social functions centered around something other than alchohol as the main/sole means of entertainment, and this age group actually cares about personality.
The prime attribute of an alpha male is confidence, with the corollary qualities of control and competence. (Things Bond drips with.) Yet, when social status is the end here, what do these things matter if they ARE NOT NOTICED? Yeah yeah yeah, some of you might be tempted to say "it's what _you_ think that counts" etc etc...uh, no. If that were true you'd be content to never talk to anyone, ever. So how would/could Bond persevere in today's young society?
Imagine Bond in a house party. Heh...exactly, you have to stretch your imagination. In an environment like that, (which, if you're a college student, is pretty much unavoidable if you plan on being social) how could Bond succeed? You can't be suave when you have the screaming alpha's, with nothing to lose in regards to dignity, running about groping women (with them oohing and cooing, loving every second of it)?
My point is, in reality, college age guys cannot do the James Bond thing. Girls at this age group just do not care about intelligence or sophistication, bottom line, because they are not really sophisticated themselves. They don't value it. They just want confidence in its most crude form: the observable quality of not caring how you look, just so long as you get noticed.
2). James Bond is also a fictional character. Freak accidents and Seinfeld situations don't happen to him. This is just a minor objection to the "Bond approach" but it's real nonetheless. Does Bond ever get randomly defecated on by a bird when out for a walk? (This actually happened to me when I was with a girl, if you'll believe that.
) Does Bond ever have to deal with overweight obnoxious fast-food cashiers who can't really be understood because of their ghetto accent? etc etc. These things happen to all of us, only they would pretty much destroy Bond. I know this point seems a bit random, but I mean that sometimes it's hard to be suave and maintain the appearance of control when things like that happen to you.
Let me summarize my argument.
1.) Young women don't care for sophistication (in any form) because they themselves are not sophisticated. They don't value it (Yet.) <--They possibly never will.
2.) Therefore, in the social functions that this age group finds itself in (parties, dance clubs, football games etc.) Bond would not be anything special. James Bond would be invisible, while the girls fawn over guys like Stifler from American Pie.
3. Bond would be destroyed by freak accidents.
4. I suggest a revised outlook on the "DJ options" open to the young guys. Meaning, as an option, subtle is nonexistent.
To address possible arguments/opposition beforehand:
-As I said, I don't want to hear the "screw what other people think" speech. Read the "Why Not Just Be Yourself" post for God's sake.
-"Just avoid those situations." Well, to tell you the truth, I do my best to. I simply try as hard as I can to isolate the girl, one on one, and get her in environments conducive to actual conversation etc. Bottom line though, sooner or later you have to hang out with more than just you and her...and where there is at least three, there is a crowd. Where there is a crowd, whoever stands out wins. Proceed with above arguments.
-Choose different girls. Nice and simple. Ideal right? Wrong. 9 times out of 10, the best girls as far as BOTH looks and personality wind up at these kind of functions, because it's the normal, accepted thing to do at that age. These girls can be perfectly civilized, congenial, intelligent, nice, funny, charming, etc etc, AND VALUE THESE THINGS....and then turn right around and be strip teasing to deafening rap on a table in front of a dozen or so screaming guys. (Whether or not them doing something like that is ideal is debatable, whether the "Bond approach" would work in that situation, the goal being attaining the girl, is not.)
-Abandon the "James Bond" approach entirely? I know some people here are all for the "Stifler approach," and that's just fine for them. However I believe that it is possible to have refined fun, not simply mindless, animalistic, barbaric motions of celebration, or what have you. Save the "lighten up motha fvcka"' for the goths etc. who deserve that kind of advice, and give me a real solution. _If_ one exists, and _if_ you see it.
I would really, _really_ like some input here. This is my main problem. I have confidence, I am quite intelligent, habitually combine these traits to produce contagious humor, etc, yet in certain situations (which are pretty much unavoidable) they mean nothing.
Am I (and other like myself) doomed to either give up sophistication entirely to succeed with women, until their values evolve, or wack off for a couple of years, or what?
Agree? Disagree? Questions/Comments? I think we could all benefit from a collective response.
Sunshine
I have a question to all/any readers regarding what I percieve to be a contradiction in advice for new and budding DJs.
First, a quick definition of what I mean by the "James Bond" alpha approach. As David DeAngelo explains, Bond rarely smiles beyond his knowing self-assured smirk. Furthermore, I don't think I've _ever_ heard James Bond laugh. Bond never raises his voice in a conversation. Bond is highly sophisticated, calm, collected, witty, casually playful, cool, controlled, etc. etc.
Now, how can one adopt the "James Bond" alpha attitude and at the same time interact with the young age group of today? (I mean mainly those in their early 20's, the college years.) Let me explain the problems as I see them.
1). First and foremost, people usually forget that James Bond is in his forties. This age group actually has social functions centered around something other than alchohol as the main/sole means of entertainment, and this age group actually cares about personality.
The prime attribute of an alpha male is confidence, with the corollary qualities of control and competence. (Things Bond drips with.) Yet, when social status is the end here, what do these things matter if they ARE NOT NOTICED? Yeah yeah yeah, some of you might be tempted to say "it's what _you_ think that counts" etc etc...uh, no. If that were true you'd be content to never talk to anyone, ever. So how would/could Bond persevere in today's young society?
Imagine Bond in a house party. Heh...exactly, you have to stretch your imagination. In an environment like that, (which, if you're a college student, is pretty much unavoidable if you plan on being social) how could Bond succeed? You can't be suave when you have the screaming alpha's, with nothing to lose in regards to dignity, running about groping women (with them oohing and cooing, loving every second of it)?
My point is, in reality, college age guys cannot do the James Bond thing. Girls at this age group just do not care about intelligence or sophistication, bottom line, because they are not really sophisticated themselves. They don't value it. They just want confidence in its most crude form: the observable quality of not caring how you look, just so long as you get noticed.
2). James Bond is also a fictional character. Freak accidents and Seinfeld situations don't happen to him. This is just a minor objection to the "Bond approach" but it's real nonetheless. Does Bond ever get randomly defecated on by a bird when out for a walk? (This actually happened to me when I was with a girl, if you'll believe that.
) Does Bond ever have to deal with overweight obnoxious fast-food cashiers who can't really be understood because of their ghetto accent? etc etc. These things happen to all of us, only they would pretty much destroy Bond. I know this point seems a bit random, but I mean that sometimes it's hard to be suave and maintain the appearance of control when things like that happen to you.Let me summarize my argument.
1.) Young women don't care for sophistication (in any form) because they themselves are not sophisticated. They don't value it (Yet.) <--They possibly never will.
2.) Therefore, in the social functions that this age group finds itself in (parties, dance clubs, football games etc.) Bond would not be anything special. James Bond would be invisible, while the girls fawn over guys like Stifler from American Pie.
3. Bond would be destroyed by freak accidents.
4. I suggest a revised outlook on the "DJ options" open to the young guys. Meaning, as an option, subtle is nonexistent.
To address possible arguments/opposition beforehand:
-As I said, I don't want to hear the "screw what other people think" speech. Read the "Why Not Just Be Yourself" post for God's sake.
-"Just avoid those situations." Well, to tell you the truth, I do my best to. I simply try as hard as I can to isolate the girl, one on one, and get her in environments conducive to actual conversation etc. Bottom line though, sooner or later you have to hang out with more than just you and her...and where there is at least three, there is a crowd. Where there is a crowd, whoever stands out wins. Proceed with above arguments.
-Choose different girls. Nice and simple. Ideal right? Wrong. 9 times out of 10, the best girls as far as BOTH looks and personality wind up at these kind of functions, because it's the normal, accepted thing to do at that age. These girls can be perfectly civilized, congenial, intelligent, nice, funny, charming, etc etc, AND VALUE THESE THINGS....and then turn right around and be strip teasing to deafening rap on a table in front of a dozen or so screaming guys. (Whether or not them doing something like that is ideal is debatable, whether the "Bond approach" would work in that situation, the goal being attaining the girl, is not.)
-Abandon the "James Bond" approach entirely? I know some people here are all for the "Stifler approach," and that's just fine for them. However I believe that it is possible to have refined fun, not simply mindless, animalistic, barbaric motions of celebration, or what have you. Save the "lighten up motha fvcka"' for the goths etc. who deserve that kind of advice, and give me a real solution. _If_ one exists, and _if_ you see it.
I would really, _really_ like some input here. This is my main problem. I have confidence, I am quite intelligent, habitually combine these traits to produce contagious humor, etc, yet in certain situations (which are pretty much unavoidable) they mean nothing.
Am I (and other like myself) doomed to either give up sophistication entirely to succeed with women, until their values evolve, or wack off for a couple of years, or what?
Agree? Disagree? Questions/Comments? I think we could all benefit from a collective response.
Sunshine
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