MR.LPC said:
I'm starting to feel like no matter how hard I try, my game just isn't working well. I've went through some EXTREME self-improvement all in the span of a year. I'm not shy at all anymore, I work out regularly, I got my braces off, contacts... The list goes on and on! My personality and appearance have both skyrocketed and so has my game. My approaches, my rejections, my phone number count is all going up but I feel like it's getting me nowhere. I'm starting to feel like game isn't meant for me.
My mom told me something a while ago. She said, " I know what type of person you are. You're probably going to meet one girl and stay with her. Just be patient." Meanwhile I'm out here trying to mack many girls. I feel like sometimes my mom knows me like a bad book. Maybe I'm not meant for this.
I'm trying to get a girlfriend (Never had a LTR) or at least some dates because I don't feel comfortable hooking up with girls randomly anymore... It never felt right. My experience amounts to 3 kisses, 1 ill make-out session (first kiss), and some heartbreak to go along with it (all before I found this site). It's almost like ever since I found SS it's been harder for me to get girls!
I'm not drowning in self-pity or anything but I hit these times where I just feel pessimistic. I'm doing everything I can to get girls but not yet I guess. One day...
What can I do to end this slump? Do you guys have any advice? :wave:
Our mothers advice on dating usually sounds logical but is almost always counter productive, and her advice is bad but not necessarily for the reasons you 'd think. She's judging who you are now and what you've shown in your life thus far (not sure but guessing you are pretty young), which is a mistake because you are not the finished product, your self exploration and improvement will change you and if you do it right for the better. From your short post I'm going to address some things that stood out to me.
1) No one is built fully for one thing or the other, we are molded by life experiences and by circumstances and the biggest factor in your life is you. You are in control, you can change your outlook, you can change your goals but you have to search and work to find what will make you happy. Self defeatism, and trying to live by others definitions or to others perceived standards or expectations only act as constraints for our development and understanding of ourselves and thus the world. Which brings me to the second point.
2) This forum and other advice and posts you see are just advice and general guidelines, you have to find what works for you and just knowing and using general guidelines is not going to take you from A to Z, you have to live your truth and experience your own journey. The world and social interactions are incredibly complex, interpreting/adjusting and implementing ways to positively effect your relationships is a framework that you have to master over time, there is no single correct answer, its about general overall strategy which comes from really grasping the concepts hinted at and read about. The most important aspect is underlying acceptance of yourself, when you accept yourself, when you are confident you don't let anyone rock your ship because you have strong foundations.
3) You've made strides from the sounds of it, but humans by nature are very good at protecting our ego's for evolutionary and self preservation reasons. If we allow ourselves to look inward and we don't like what we are seeing or lose a sense of our identity it can be dangerous, so we improve our appearance, put ourselves in positions to be successful but if we fail we instinctively look for external reasons and reasons that are safer to our ego. The point of that is, you still have work to do and until you work on the most difficult inner stuff you will have a hard time making the progression you'd like. But the good thing is (and I feel like I recently did this) you can do it, you can break free from the constraints and you can do more to get out of your own way. And the journey can be long and painstaking but it really doesn't have to be if you can accept that there is no fate, there is no limitations placed on you, then all the work you want to do and all the expectations or short comings you might feel will melt away and you'll move like a hot knife through butter.
What I got from your post is that I think you are missing the most important step, you are not confident enough because you are probably memorizing or working on the superficial aspects more then the inner mindset that will make you happy. The game feels superficial and you don't feel built for what you are doing? Then you are right, the game you are running is not for you, take the concepts and mold them into what makes you happy, what makes others happy won't necessarily work for you. But it sounds like you have realized that in some form, whether you consciously understand it or not. People living by what society, their friends or others tell them is success never get it, you can only find and pursue what makes you happy, sure there are similarities but we are all infinitely complex constantly moving parts so don't box yourself in you are in charge!
You can't cheat this process, well actually you can to some degree, but you can only cheat the superficial "easier" steps. You can skip bulking up, you can skip getting 100 numbers and you can skip banging x amount of girls, but you cannot skip the mindset that you control your own fate or that you define and mold your own happiness. Increasing the amount of girls you sleep with or numbers you get won't make you happy unless that is really what you want.
Until you are happy and content with yourself in your own universe you'll always be working at the whim of others, which is not where you want to be. Once you have confidence and once you understand and grasp what its all about it will make sense and the universe will move in perfect harmony. The key is you are your own universe, you can move the stars and create whatever you want, create your own world. And that power is what leads to true happiness and living an amazing life (and you have find out what that means to you) and in turn that attracts women, you are a master of your universe and you can create whatever you want. Many of this forum call it being an alpha, that touches on it but its not about dominance or aggression for me. When you get it, its like you know a secret, you can create a party wherever you are, you make things happen because why the **** not? You are with a woman and you can create an alternate universe for only the two of you to play in, you can create an amazingly memorable and spontaneous adventure anywhere for yourself and/or whoever is with you. That is true value, and people who can do that are magnetic to women.
