I've changed my approach in regard to what I really want with women

[loveorhate]

Last night I had an epiphany. Before last night my goal with this whole seduction thing, which to me is nothing more than approaching and meeting women (Nothing shrewd or cleverness about it on my part. Just natural, uncalculated behavior), not seduction at all, was to become a player. A player in my book is someone who has more than one women he sleeps with. That's what I wanted. I wanted to have more than one women. My freakin greed is what was getting in my way. Let me explain(though I'll make it as short as possible). About a year ago, I started approach and meeting women. In the beginning, my effort was relentless. I did it every day. I must have approached over 2000 women, and dated quite a few of them. I was very, very determined becuase I had gone almost 3 years without a girl. So, besides being as horny as a jack rabbit, I was very lonely. I wanted to change that and I did. I met a very attractive (both inside and out) girl who is now my girlfriend. We've been together for about sex months and she tells me she loves me everyday. I got what I wanted. From what I've heard, it has taken some guys several attempts at the dating and relationship thing to find an exceptional girl. I'm very lucky, I'll admit. But this good fortune hasn't been enough to stop me from approaching women. Before today, I've still been trying to fulfill this adolescent dream of become this player type. But today, that all changed. My attitude changed. I realized I couldn't become this player becuase my whole heart was not in it. I mean, the burning desire for a girl I displayed before my girlfriend is not there anymore. Why? Because this girl Im have relationship with is really good. I mean she's physically attractive, positive, intelligent, interesting, and fun. And she always seems to interested in everything I do ... very engaged. What I really want is not more girls becuase if I did, I would have them. What I want is one girlfriend, but to still be surrounded by women. Today I changed my approach. Instead of approaching women with the intent to get her number or date her, I decided to approach women with no intent at all. I decided just to be friendly, and it got me good results. The women I approached were more open to conversation, and the last girl I approached seemed (or maybe I was just full of my self) to have wanted me to ask her for her number after having a normal conversation with her. I mean it was sooo easy to talk to them once I told myself "look. you don't want more girls. you're not hungry for them anymore. you've simply been obsesses with the idea of becoming a player, which has made you look needy. Everytime you've approached women, you've seemed like your after something, which was a put off for them. If anything, you want friends" Once I realized I did not want more women for sex, companionship, and love, my attitude change. so did my approach. I just can't believe I spent so much time approaching women with the mentality I had. I don't even have the time for more women, so why the fuk was I still approaching them? I've got the number to several other girls in that time, but never called none of them. why was I fooling myself? maybe i just didn't want to give it up. maybe that's why I've decided to change my approach and not lose the habit of meeting women entirely. maybe i can't live without them. maybe Im just obsesses with women.

 

[Dannyrt34]

maybe you found a girl that your happy with! good for you man. By the way the whole idea only some people realize is to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with approaching women, having a girlfriend, having sex, and so on.

You seemed to figure that out, you don't need a woman to be happy, so who cares if the approach goes good or bad. That relieves a lot of nervousness from approaching. You are happy no matter what happens.

Now if only you could learn to make seperate paragraphs, i might be happier.

 

[loveorhate]

Now if only you could learn to make seperate paragraphs, i might be happier.

that's funny.

as for being happy with myself. honestly, i ****ing feel depressed sometimes.
but i won't go through that here.

though it's not for what you may think.

no.

it's becuase Im freakin broke.

i need that muulah man.

I read a post about some guy with a 40k car, and another guy with a 50k car...

and their still in college!

shxt guys.

how the fudge are you guys able to afford those toys?

I got the girl.

now I need the freakin car.

help!!!!

just teasing.

but seriously,

what's your secret???


later playboys

 

[Dannyrt34]

that's funny.

as for being happy with myself. honestly, i ****ing feel depressed sometimes.
but i won't go through that here.

though it's not for what you may think.

no.

it's becuase Im freakin broke.

i need that muulah man.

I read a post about some guy with a 40k car, and another guy with a 50k car...

and their still in college!

shxt guys.

how the fudge are you guys able to afford those toys?

I got the girl.

now I need the freakin car.

help!!!!

just teasing.

but seriously,

what's your secret???


later playboys

Is this how you make separate paragraphs????? dear god...

 

[Entity Unknown]

Wealth and success do not equal one another.

The guys that are still in college and have a 50k are most probably luck recipients of wealthy parents, that most probably worked their ass off to get to where they are now.

Point here, is that hard work, and determination is the key to wealth. Obviously factors like luck, knowing the right people, and so on have a role to play in it, but in general the key to their wealth was someone along the line of their family tree someone worked really hard at something that enabled their children etc to live the way they do.

 

[loveorhate]

Wealth and success do not equal one another.

The guys that are still in college and have a 50k are most probably luck recipients of wealthy parents, that most probably worked their ass off to get to where they are now.

Point here, is that hard work, and determination is the key to wealth. Obviously factors like luck, knowing the right people, and so on have a role to play in it, but in general the key to their wealth was someone along the line of their family tree someone worked really hard at something that enabled their children etc to live the way they do.

I kind of figured that. But I don't necessarily agree that hard work, by itself or accompanied by luck or determination, is it. I mean, the people working at Micky D's are hard workers. They're determined to keep their job. If they weren't, they' wouldn't be there. I think there's more to it. Maybe the courage to go after what you want. But then you will need to know what you really want. And, what if you don't want anything but women? Then you could end up broke, but getting laid. Is getting laid worth being a financial loser?

 

[Entity Unknown]

I kind of figured that. But I don't necessarily agree that hard work, by itself or accompanied by luck or determination, is it. I mean, the people working at Micky D's are hard workers. They're determined to keep their job. If they weren't, they' wouldn't be there. I think there's more to it. Maybe the courage to go after what you want. But then you will need to know what you really want. And, what if you don't want anything but women? Then you could end up broke, but getting laid. Is getting laid worth being a financial loser?

Well you raise a valid point, if we are talking about someone who has not yet found themselves.

Naturally, one would want to figure out what is important to them in life, prioritize, and follow suit.

It is true that some of us will work our whole lives and not make what others make in a single year, but this is where thinking realistically comes in.

You need to remember that we are all equal when we are 6 feet under, and that isn't too far away, so the car you drive or the house you live in, does not stand for who you are.

I think in your case, you should rather take some time to work on yourself, become the man you want to become, the man you will be proud of being. Opportunities are everywhere, if something is not working out for you, change your approach. As you change your approach, so you will change your results.

Concentrate on improving your strengths, and see your weaknesses as challenges, that will ultimately make you that much stronger.

We all ask god for courage, strength, wisdom, and so on... But what a lot of us don't realize is that god isn't going to just give those things to us, but rather the opportunities to be courageous, and to be strong.

There will always be someone with more money, or better looks, we need not compare ourselves, but rather be fulfilled with the person we are, as one in 7 billion, each and every one of us unique in our own way. (And should be proud of it!)

Instead of chasing that thrill of immediate satisfaction, rather build yourself up, from the bottom, there is hard work ahead, and like always, the results are always worth waiting for.

You want money? Make your plan to make it. You want women, make your plan to attract them. Freedom? Yip, make a plan. Once you know who you are, and where you want to go, then the hardest part is just picking the right doors to go through, and you're more than likely to pick the wrong paths from time to time, but that is what will teach you what you ARE looking for, and will let you know/experience the difference between what is right for you, and what is not.

You are successful the moment you decide to go about things correctly. Change is a decision away.

Stop worrying, just handle each issue in your life appropriately, no need to panic or stress, all these issues are merely the ingredients of life here on Earth. Mix them properly and you'll have a great result.

 

[loveorhate]

I found almost EVERYTHING you said COMPLETELY irrelevant to my situation BUT I HIGHLY agree with this one point you made:

We all ask god for courage, strength, wisdom, and so on... But what a lot of us don't realize is that god isn't going to just give those things to us, but rather the opportunities to be courageous, and to be strong.

I've noticed that things don't just fall in my lap (well, sometimes they do!). I've also noticed that there are daily occurrences in my life where I am faced with having to make either the good or bad decision.

For example, I meet a girl. She tells asks if I have a girlfriend. Im faced with a decision. Do I lie? or Do I tell the truth? Lying could get me laid. That, however, is selfish and will only lead to more lying, thus, adding to this self-seeking quality I'm developing. This, obviously, is the bad decision.

Then, there's the truth. Telling her I do have a girlfriend will be what you call "working on yourself" becuase it's for the good of my character. This, however, could not get me laid.

As painful as it may be, this may be the best path to take.

Seeing these daily occurrences as opportunities to work on thyself, even if it means sacrificing some pleasures, might just be the key to one's happiness.

Thanks a lot for the input.