It's Crazy How Important a Social Circle Is

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,768
Reaction score
3,729
I've also said I've never had a viable social circle. There's no elephant.
Of course, because the women didn't notice you there. If you get no traction then its never viable.
 

joesknows

Banned
Joined
Oct 13, 2021
Messages
63
Reaction score
52
If social circles are bad, meetups are 10x worse. It's the easiest cope for the lowest tier guys and the selection of women is borderline laughable. Often you'll get the worst of both worlds as the low tier guys try to form "friendships" and competition circles within meetups for the cream of the crop, usually 6's at best.

Meetups are pretty convenient if you want to visit venues without going solo and a bud isn't available on that night. They're also pretty hilarious in general: witnessing widespread social incompetence for the couple of hours the event goes on can be very entertaining in a black humor sort of a way.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,531
Reaction score
11,391
If social circles are bad, meetups are 10x worse. It's the easiest cope for the lowest tier guys and the selection of women is borderline laughable. Often you'll get the worst of both worlds as the low tier guys try to form "friendships" and competition circles within meetups for the cream of the crop, usually 6's at best.

Meetups are pretty convenient if you want to visit venues without going solo and a bud isn't available on that night. They're also pretty hilarious in general: witnessing widespread social incompetence for the couple of hours the event goes on can be very entertaining in a black humor sort of a way.
Meetup.com groups are near the bottom of the barrel. They are definite pass.

Social Circle
Pros:
  • More reliable access to girls.
  • An instant in for conversation and interaction.
  • Less anxiety from the girl.
Cons:
  • If any drama happens, it'll spread through the group.
  • Interactions can get awkward if there's a crossover or heavy mix of ****ing, resorting in a lot of competition for attention, resulting in said drama.
  • Less likely to get hot women.
Solo
Pros:
  • More women to choose from.
  • If something happens, doesn't affect friend group.
Cons:
  • Have to make everything happen yourself, especially if you don't have physical attraction.
  • Have to constantly create familiarity with different people to score a new woman.
Summary: Social Circle game for betas, Solo for everyone else. Honestly, I found that as long as you are good at talking to people with no anxiety or nervousness, you don't even need social circle. I can vibe in and out of circles just fine, which is probably a better trait to have than anything.
This is a fair assessment. I've never had a viable social circle due to some factors outside of my control, mainly numerous relocations. I've followed the solo path throughout my life. My lifetime notch count is higher than most men's but I've dealt with a lot of frustration and negative things, which has psychologically impacted me. Social circle is easier but having the ability to work solo and create something is a better overall deal.
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,768
Reaction score
3,729
If social circles are bad, meetups are 10x worse. It's the easiest cope for the lowest tier guys and the selection of women is borderline laughable. Often you'll get the worst of both worlds as the low tier guys try to form "friendships" and competition circles within meetups for the cream of the crop, usually 6's at best.

Meetups are pretty convenient if you want to visit venues without going solo and a bud isn't available on that night. They're also pretty hilarious in general: witnessing widespread social incompetence for the couple of hours the event goes on can be very entertaining in a black humor sort of a way.
Meetups are definitely delusional cope when I tried it in 2009. It was really hit and miss. I remember this one time, only two guys showed up and I sat to watch a movie (even forgot the name of it) with two dudes when I thought it was going to be a larger co-ed group.

The only meetups that really worked with me were the Christian ones, which tend to at least have allot of women on them, or I'd be the only guy there. The religious theme of the group probably helped screen out guys perhaps. Some of those meetups would only have one or two girls there so if there was some sort of outing planned and I tagged along then in those circumstances it could feel like a date. I was mainly into this in early 2014, but quit once I met my ex-wife and never got back into it.

But, as far as non-religious/secular singles meets ups are -- its really the horror story described above.
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,518
Reaction score
2,810
Age
50
People think you have to be an Extrovert to be sociable. That is untrue.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

ZTIME

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 13, 2014
Messages
561
Reaction score
256
Everytime you see an average looking guy with a hb8+ it is always through social circle, you get access to better quality women this way. Most guys who do this are beta and have no game knowledge though.

How do I build a proper social circle post college especially since most meetup groups here in Australia are online only?

I gave volunteering a go but i learnt that it's mostly 55+ year olds with a lot of free time (environmental NGO).

I really want to be able to establish a social circle that would help me find quality Relationships. Has anyone been able to establish one post pandemic?
In my experience OP social circles are generally developed around your interests or work environment.

when you say the guys in those circles with the HB8’s are beta, it’s not necessarily true. They are the big fish in the little pond in that circle. Think high school quarterback head cheerleader.

develop the habit of mastering the circles you create or join. Become the superior of the things you do. This comes from working on yourself and developing your own frame.

The higher HB’s in any circle generally gravitate in that direction. As always be blessed in your life adventure.
 

Zimbabwe

Banned
Joined
Aug 29, 2021
Messages
2,382
Reaction score
3,094
Age
28
If social circles are bad, meetups are 10x worse. It's the easiest cope for the lowest tier guys and the selection of women is borderline laughable. Often you'll get the worst of both worlds as the low tier guys try to form "friendships" and competition circles within meetups for the cream of the crop, usually 6's at best.

Meetups are pretty convenient if you want to visit venues without going solo and a bud isn't available on that night. They're also pretty hilarious in general: witnessing widespread social incompetence for the couple of hours the event goes on can be very entertaining in a black humor sort of a way.
I'm looking for hobby groups, not the ones that are social meetups since i know those are sausage fests.

Meetups are definitely delusional cope when I tried it in 2009. It was really hit and miss. I remember this one time, only two guys showed up and I sat to watch a movie (even forgot the name of it) with two dudes when I thought it was going to be a larger co-ed group.

The only meetups that really worked with me were the Christian ones, which tend to at least have allot of women on them, or I'd be the only guy there. The religious theme of the group probably helped screen out guys perhaps. Some of those meetups would only have one or two girls there so if there was some sort of outing planned and I tagged along then in those circumstances it could feel like a date. I was mainly into this in early 2014, but quit once I met my ex-wife and never got back into it.

But, as far as non-religious/secular singles meets ups are -- its really the horror story described above.
Christian meetups here are all empty with zero attendance
 

Solomon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
5,632
Reaction score
2,795
Location
Inside her mind
Social Circle
Pros:
  • More reliable access to girls.
  • An instant in for conversation and interaction.
  • Less anxiety from the girl.
Cons:
  • If any drama happens, it'll spread through the group.
  • Interactions can get awkward if there's a crossover or heavy mix of ****ing, resorting in a lot of competition for attention, resulting in said drama.
  • Less likely to get hot women.
Solo
Pros:
  • More women to choose from.
  • If something happens, doesn't affect friend group.
Cons:
  • Have to make everything happen yourself, especially if you don't have physical attraction.
  • Have to constantly create familiarity with different people to score a new woman.
Summary: Social Circle game for betas, Solo for everyone else. Honestly, I found that as long as you are good at talking to people with no anxiety or nervousness, you don't even need social circle. I can vibe in and out of circles just fine, which is probably a better trait to have than anything.
I use to think social circle was for betas too until I stepped my game up and started hanging out with a couple of social circles where guys made 6/7 figures on average(not bragging just telling you that when I first came on the site I was making 25K a year) and these guys are not just alphas when it comes to their jobs and physiques but alphas with women(not all but some in one fashion or another). I learned from one guy how to frame, he was a geek but a businessman and can talk his a$$ off another guy I use to hang with used to have girls blowing up his phone on Fridays/Saturdays and girls knew he had a girlfriend. Once you start earning more money social circles give you access to women most guys don't have access to i.e. the hot chicks you see at the VIP table popping bottles is one example or another example is exclusive house parties. Or in my recent situation the girl that doesn't do bars/clubs or online dating.

I myself have gone on dates/hooked up with girls that would have never given me the time of day on a dating app or meeting them through cold approach. Once you're over 30 who da fucc wants to cold approach club thots? I can't even tell you the last time I went to the club. and as I'm typing this it's the middle of summer. I remember earlier this year a buddy of mine had dinner with his girlfriend she brought her sister with her and introduced me to her sister we dated for a month and half (she was batshyt crazy) but she wasn't a club girl, nor did online dating etc. The truth is I would have never met her if we weren't introduced

In my experience, social circle is not important for meeting girls WITHIN the social circle. It IS important for after you begin dating if you like them well enough to keep them around longer term. Hot women, the kind that can be with most any man they want, want to be connected to a man who has good to great social contacts. Having significant social proof is important in that regard.
BINGO, if you're dating women that are 7s-10s having a social circle will give you pre-selection points in the sense that if you have high-quality friends it shows you are vetted plus in a social circle if you bring a woman around they are more trusting because of the fact that there won't be the insecurity of you trying to bang another guys girlfriend or some shyt like that.

On another note social circles sometimes have circles within circles it's a trip, women and men get recycled in and out etc

I have noticed this isn't an issue for average/introverted or subpar chicks but best believe if the chick is hot and you don't have a social circle with some women that's a red flag to some women

In 2023 the reason why a lot of men are struggling with women is because they don't have a social circle, yes social circles die down in their 30s and as you get older. However, if you're working on being a high-quality guy having a network of high-quality friends is important not just to meet women but also for connections. friendships, business and more
 

Hamurabimbi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
3,741
Reaction score
3,189
Location
California
Everytime you see an average looking guy with a hb8+ it is always through social circle, you get access to better quality women this way. Most guys who do this are beta and have no game knowledge though.

How do I build a proper social circle post college especially since most meetup groups here in Australia are online only?

I gave volunteering a go but i learnt that it's mostly 55+ year olds with a lot of free time (environmental NGO).

I really want to be able to establish a social circle that would help me find quality Relationships. Has anyone been able to establish one post pandemic?
No complaints about Social Circle. Lost my V-card through SC.
 

eli77

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 7, 2013
Messages
2,253
Reaction score
451
Location
Miami fl
Everytime you see an average looking guy with a hb8+ it is always through social circle, you get access to better quality women this way. Most guys who do this are beta and have no game knowledge though.

How do I build a proper social circle post college especially since most meetup groups here in Australia are online only?

I gave volunteering a go but i learnt that it's mostly 55+ year olds with a lot of free time (environmental NGO).

I really want to be able to establish a social circle that would help me find quality Relationships. Has anyone been able to establish one post pandemic?
Meetup.com
 

Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

CornbreadFed

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 7, 2023
Messages
3,266
Reaction score
2,508
Age
30
Location
Nashville, TN
Guys that step into a social circle where 8s and 9s are single and easy pickings are either extremely lucky or lying. Here is the reality of most of your social circles with decent women.

1). They are gatekeeping by the alpha male and insecure beta males. Chad's or threatening men will only be introduced to these groups by other women, not single men. The only exception is if they know you are in a typical beta male-submissive relationship. No guy wants a potential threat stirring the pot or ruining their chances with the women in the circle. Would you?

2). The single women are usually 304s that they pity. Most normal women are going to be single for a very short time frame. Women single for more than 6 months are usually past the point of pair bonding and constantly sleeping around.

3). They dry up fast- The How You Met Your Mother style 30s social circle is entertainment for a reason. By the time people hit their 30s, they are all married, starting to have kids, etc. Social Circle game is primarily for guys in their early and mid-twenties.
 

Thebestthereeveris

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 2, 2020
Messages
367
Reaction score
258
Age
28
Everytime you see an average looking guy with a hb8+ it is always through social circle, you get access to better quality women this way. Most guys who do this are beta and have no game knowledge though.

How do I build a proper social circle post college especially since most meetup groups here in Australia are online only?

I gave volunteering a go but i learnt that it's mostly 55+ year olds with a lot of free time (environmental NGO).

I really want to be able to establish a social circle that would help me find quality Relationships. Has anyone been able to establish one post pandemic?
Social circle game is for pvssies. You want to do both cold approach and social circle hame
 

Learning Curve

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 7, 2023
Messages
514
Reaction score
424
Age
32
Location
Cyprus
Everytime you see an average looking guy with a hb8+ it is always through social circle, you get access to better quality women this way. Most guys who do this are beta and have no game knowledge though.

How do I build a proper social circle post college especially since most meetup groups here in Australia are online only?

I gave volunteering a go but i learnt that it's mostly 55+ year olds with a lot of free time (environmental NGO).

I really want to be able to establish a social circle that would help me find quality Relationships. Has anyone been able to establish one post pandemic?
Social circles are built based on what your life is built around.

You can't create a social circle because you have to create it.

I was a bartender many years ago in very famous places in Cyprus, through that job i was able to create a very strong social circle. Now that I'm out of that department my social circle has changed / gone.

I agree on meeting more quality women if you have a better social circle but this depends on what kind of social circle you have.

Best way is to get your life in order around activities that you like to do. Gym, Sports, Music, what ever. You will always meet people like-minded you can develop relationships and build connections through those places.
 

CornbreadFed

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 7, 2023
Messages
3,266
Reaction score
2,508
Age
30
Location
Nashville, TN
I was a bartender many years ago in very famous places in Cyprus, through that job i was able to create a very strong social circle. Now that I'm out of that department my social circle has changed / gone.
keyword, all that needs to be said
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,531
Reaction score
11,391
Here is the reality of most of your social circles with decent women.

2). The single women are usually 304s that they pity. Most normal women are going to be single for a very short time frame. Women single for more than 6 months are usually past the point of pair bonding and constantly sleeping around.

3). They dry up fast- The How You Met Your Mother style 30s social circle is entertainment for a reason. By the time people hit their 30s, they are all married, starting to have kids, etc. Social Circle game is primarily for guys in their early and mid-twenties.
In 2023 the reason why a lot of men are struggling with women is because they don't have a social circle, yes social circles die down in their 30s and as you get older. However, if you're working on being a high-quality guy having a network of high-quality friends is important not just to meet women but also for connections. friendships, business and more
My local area social circle effectively died once the majority of the participants got into long term relationships. The weddings were the unofficial funerals of the social circle. Now everyone has babies and they are all typical married beta males doing married beta male things.


Back when my social circle might have viable for getting introductions (it never was viable for me), none of the females that were in the circle were 304s. A couple of people in the circle formed relationships from the circle. The women who were a part of the circle were fought over big time by men in the circle. The battles for these women were intense relative to the woman's actual SMV at the time. There was a thought among the men in the circle in the mid-2010s that getting someone in the circle would be easier than cold approach or app swiping, which led to the intense male competitions within the circle for a couple of women.

There is a reason that I selected my avatar as the lone wolf. While I have friends, I don't have an effective social circle and never really had an effective one. The in-group male competitions for slightly better than mediocre at best women were evidence of a typical social circle, which is a not great social circle.
 

If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Solomon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
5,632
Reaction score
2,795
Location
Inside her mind
Guys that step into a social circle where 8s and 9s are single and easy pickings are either extremely lucky or lying. Here is the reality of most of your social circles with decent women.

1). They are gatekeeping by the alpha male and insecure beta males. Chad's or threatening men will only be introduced to these groups by other women, not single men. The only exception is if they know you are in a typical beta male-submissive relationship. No guy wants a potential threat stirring the pot or ruining their chances with the women in the circle. Would you?

2). The single women are usually 304s that they pity. Most normal women are going to be single for a very short time frame. Women single for more than 6 months are usually past the point of pair bonding and constantly sleeping around.

3). They dry up fast- The How You Met Your Mother style 30s social circle is entertainment for a reason. By the time people hit their 30s, they are all married, starting to have kids, etc. Social Circle game is primarily for guys in their early and mid-twenties.
1. That may be true but there is also another side, the guy that gets in because of his status I.e. the guy with connections, the guy with clout, or even the athlete. I've been in social circles with NFL players who are still active in the league. It's a different dynamic than a "Normie" social circle

2. Those women don't last long in social circles and usually get passed around (even guys with GF's will smash them on the low) but those women usually get cycled through and eventually even 304s end up in relationships from sourcing men from other social circles or meet them online etc. There are some 304s that just keep getting pumped and dumped. But those tend to be ones that are either batshyt crazy or major slores who can't pairbond anymore

3. This may have been true 10 years ago but in 2023 most people aren't getting married as young or married at all. You now have social circles where people are single until their mid-late 30s

Social circle game is for pvssies. You want to do both a cold approach and social circle hame
Who wants to do cold approaches at 40+ years old? I seriously pity anyone who is in their late 30s (and older) and still wants to cold approach women at bars/clubs or even day game at malls? lmfao. Now does that mean you can't go out? I'm not saying that but after working 12 hours a day on my own business. I don't have the energy to cold approach, nor will you catch me at the bar or club on Friday or a Saturday night. If you can Cold approach through your hobbies to me that's a different thing for example

  • Gala parties
  • Fashion shows
  • Boat/Yact Parties
  • BBQq's
  • Art festivals
  • Food Festivals etc

But most guys on this site when we talking about cold approach we talking night game or daygame. If you're living your life to the fullest with various hobbies than yes you should meet different women through cold appraoch but if we talking about going to bars and clubs. That's a hard pass for me

There is a reason that I selected my avatar as the lone wolf. While I have friends, I don't have an effective social circle and never really had an effective one. The in-group male competitions for slightly better than mediocre at best women were evidence of a typical social circle, which is a not great social circle.
I hear you bro the lone wolf to me got boring if we are talking about nightlife, I have no problem being a lone wolf at art festivals or heck even going to movies by myself. But being a lonewolf after 35 at the club is kind of lame to me, there's always that one old guy at the bar/club trying to talk to all the young girls and I told myself that would never be me. I got a buddy who is 42, in great shape, he's a lower-tier Tyrone and still bangs chicks half his age. He does the lonewolf method, however, if you're not in shape you look goofy doing that shyt, so it all depends on the guy and his physical upkeep and of course depending on the setting

To each its own, I don't think there is anything wrong with being a lone wolf at all I use to do it a lot in my 20s and early 30s. Let me reiterate I just don't have the energy for that life anymore, if I need that bad I'll just go on swipe apps. If it works for you and you're having success kudos but personally to me if we are talking about nightlife, I'm burned out going to the clubs and have no problem never going to a club again the women at those spots are not girlfriend material for the most part.
 

CornbreadFed

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 7, 2023
Messages
3,266
Reaction score
2,508
Age
30
Location
Nashville, TN
1. That may be true but there is also another side, the guy that gets in because of his status I.e. the guy with connections, the guy with clout, or even the athlete. I've been in social circles with NFL players who are still active in the league. It's a different dynamic than a "Normie" social circle
Yeah, so you got extremely lucky. The vast majority of men are never going to be exposed to social circles with high-value men that have the privilege of sleeping around with mostly hot women. Telling your average guy struggling with women to join an NFL social circle doesn't help him. I am not disagreeing with your approach, I am just saying that it is out of reach for most men or it is a long-term for them.


3. This may have been true 10 years ago but in 2023 most people aren't getting married as young or married at all. You now have social circles where people are single until their mid-late 30s
It depends on where you are at. From my experience, it was the early thirties/late twenties for college grads and mid-twenties for most people.
 
Last edited:

CornbreadFed

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 7, 2023
Messages
3,266
Reaction score
2,508
Age
30
Location
Nashville, TN
Who wants to do cold approaches at 40+ years old? I seriously pity anyone who is in their late 30s (and older) and still wants to cold approach women at bars/clubs or even day game at malls? lmfao. Now does that mean you can't go out? I'm not saying that but after working 12 hours a day on my own business. I don't have the energy to cold approach, nor will you catch me at the bar or club on Friday or a Saturday night. If you can Cold approach through your hobbies to me that's a different thing for example
lmao yes
 

Dr.Suave

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
3,825
Reaction score
4,127
My first SNL was through social circle.
 

Solomon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
5,632
Reaction score
2,795
Location
Inside her mind
Yeah, so you got extremely lucky. The vast majority of men are never going to be exposed to social circles with high-value men that have the privilege of sleeping around with mostly hot women. Telling your average guy struggling with women to join an NFL social circle doesn't help him. I am not disagreeing with your approach, I am just saying that it is out of reach for most men or it is a long-term for them.

It depends on where you are at. From my experience, it was the early thirties/late twenties for college grads and mid-twenties for most people.
I totally agree that most men won't be in a social circle with NFL players heck most guys won't even be in a social circle where all the men make 6/7 figures and some of the women make 6 figures too.
For most guys if you have 2 solid wingmen than you're doing better than 90% of men IMO, most social circles have bullshyt politics that are predicated on bluepill normie behavior
 
Top