It's been a long time, but I need some good sound advice.....

[GhostOfCordon]

You wanted kids, the wife didn't. Are you telling me you and your wife never discussed kids BEFORE getting married?

Edit. Will handle myself.

 

[The Duke]

It was the moms idea to go back to Thailand for 4-6 months

I told mom that she should go back to Thailand for a few months

I sent them back to Thailand while I figured things out. Meanwhile, back around Feb or so, my wife Slowlyyyyyyyyy started to forgive me.

First you say it was the mom's idea to go back, then you say it was your idea to send them back. Which is it? I'm guessing it was your idea and I bet your wife was putting some heat on your azz to move Thai chic out of the country.

Thai chic waited 2yrs on you and then you said you needed more time to figure out what to do. Really? What kind of a man needs that long to figure out what to do.

And what kind of guy gets married to a woman that doesn't want kids, but he does?

All I see is examples of you referring to money. You talk about how you put them up in an apartment, bought them tickets, sent them money and gifts. Then you talk about how your wife took you on vacation and how much that cost.

You equate money to love. Its all over your posting. What was your childhood like?

 

[GhostOfCordon]

It was the moms idea to go back to Thailand for 4-6 months

I told mom that she should go back to Thailand for a few months

I sent them back to Thailand while I figured things out. Meanwhile, back around Feb or so, my wife Slowlyyyyyyyyy started to forgive me.

First you say it was the mom's idea to go back, then you say it was your idea to send them back. Which is it? I'm guessing it was your idea and I bet your wife was putting some heat on your azz to move Thai chic out of the country.

Thai chic waited 2yrs on you and then you said you needed more time to figure out what to do. Really? What kind of a man needs that long to figure out what to do.

And what kind of guy gets married to a woman that doesn't want kids, but he does?

Edit. Will handle myself.

 

[GhostOfCordon]

It was the moms idea to go back to Thailand for 4-6 months

I told mom that she should go back to Thailand for a few months

I sent them back to Thailand while I figured things out. Meanwhile, back around Feb or so, my wife Slowlyyyyyyyyy started to forgive me.

First you say it was the mom's idea to go back, then you say it was your idea to send them back. Which is it? I'm guessing it was your idea and I bet your wife was putting some heat on your azz to move Thai chic out of the country.

Thai chic waited 2yrs on you and then you said you needed more time to figure out what to do. Really? What kind of a man needs that long to figure out what to do.

And what kind of guy gets married to a woman that doesn't want kids, but he does?

All I see is examples of you referring to money. You talk about how you put them up in an apartment, bought them tickets, sent them money and gifts. Then you talk about how your wife took you on vacation and how much that cost.

You equate money to love. Its all over your posting. What was your childhood like?

Edit. Will handle myself.

 

[The Duke]

I made a valid point, you know it but don't like it. You are damn right I will put you down for being an absent dad and thinking its ok to just send money. I'm for sure not going to give you an award for being parent of the year. You say you care but all you do is send money. Take the blinders off get real with yourself.

 

[GhostOfCordon]

I made a valid point, you know it but don't like it. You are damn right I will put you down for being an absent dad and thinking its ok to just send money. I'm for sure not going to give you an award for being parent of the year. You say you care but all you do is send money. Take the blinders off get real with yourself.

Edit. Will handle myself.

 

[BeExcellent]

You have elected to abandon your daughter.

That's your choice. There are consequences. You also chose to cheat on your wife. This is a worst case scenario but one you created. Now you must live with it.

I would agree with you that it is a high risk situation. Thailand is known for its child sex trade. Why did you send your daughter away? You could have kept her in US & brought her mother over. Mixed race children are discriminated against something fierce in Asia.

I also agree 100% with @sazc. This pregnancy was by design. The Thai girl thought she could ensnare you. I am guessing your wife has said "she goes or I go" or some variety thereof. So you complied with your wife & sent her away, not fully digesting the risks awaiting your daughter.

If your wife loves you truly and can truly forgive you, the thing to do is enlist her help to work on getting your baby & mom back to the US.

Your wife doesn't like the idea of this little girl because the baby is a constant reminder of your tryst in Vegas. But the baby is an innocent. Appeal to your wife to help you.

Your daughter's mother knows you don't want her so why would she come back?

What you are dealing with is your own guilt over the situation.

The only way to get your daughter to safety is to bring her and the mother back to the US and support them & keep a close eye on them. This will be a very expensive option at this point because the mother now knows you don't want her. She will extort you.

Better you face extortion and save your little girl's innocense than the alternative. If that doesn't work move to Thailand wife or no wife.

Those are your only real options. How much intestinal fortitude have you?

The 3rd choice is to forget them both and pray uncle Marty isn't a predator. I sure as hell wouldn't like those odds.

Giving uncle Marty a talking to of any sort is an exceptionally dumb idea. It will make him aware of how much leverage he has and it will potentially further jeopardize your daughter's well being.

You must THINK for once & quit reacting.

 

[sazc]

You posted earlier that you wanted to continue being present in your daughters life and continue being a good father to her. You deleted that post with your 'edits'.

I have news for you buddy, you are batting ZERO when it comes to being a father. She doesnt even know you. You have no force in her life You are not her father. You are just a sperm donor.

 

[Desdinova]

am honestly starting to become VERY concerned with my daughter being around this guy. And when I say concerned, I mean in the worst way possible. The way every father fears about his daughter with older men around.

He calls himself her "uncle".

Just in the past 2 days he has written 3 different times how much she misses him, how much he misses her, and there have been 2 different photos where she was near a door or on the floor and he says she is "trying to get to him".

Allow me to inform you of something... THIS IS HOW PARENTS ACT. You have no fvcking clue how a parent acts with their child because YOU ARE NOT A PARENT. You have absolutely no right to make judgements about this guy.

Every parent who's separated or divorced goes through this phase when there's a new "parent" in the picture. I went through it too. The only thing you can do is trust that the parent you're no longer with makes good decisions with their future mates. YOU HAVE TO DO IT.

Edit. Will handle myself.

Yeah, you're going to handle it yourself. You're going to make all this 5hit worse and end up with nobody. You won't have your wife, you won't have that Thai bytch, and you won't have your daughter. You have one thing going for you right now, and it's that your wife has forgiven you. That fvcking woman is tolerating your bull5hit, and you're going to dismiss it all because some other dude is filling in where you fvcked up.

If you're not paying child support, you should consider yourself lucky, make a clean break from your fvck up, and work on fixing and moving life forward with your wife. Take what you already have, which is a good woman who's putting up with your fvck up. It's better than losing everything.

The Thai woman is trying to rebuild her life without you, so leave her the fvck alone. You should be rebuilding your life without her. Unfortunately, that means leaving your daughter behind, but that's the price you have to pay for your fvck up. Accept it, move on, and let your daughter's family move on. LEAVE THEM THE FVCK ALONE.

 

[BeExcellent]

It's sad but I think @Desdinova is right on on this one.

 

[GhostOfCordon]

I am going to write this out one more time.

The mom and daughter......I moved them from NYC to CA near me so I could help take care of them and get to know my daughter. At the time (last fall), I was debating between divorce and being with the mom and daughter. It was very hard for the mom (who's visa had expired) to get a job here in the USA AND watch our daughter. I could not move in with them in the apartment I got them for a number of reasons. Reason #1 being if I was too initiate divorce and was living with them, I would get raked over the coals. Plus with the expired visa, legally she either needed to get married to me or go back to Thailand soon. So I moved them here near me, paid for all the living expenses, and got to know my daughter. After 5 months or so, the mom REALLY wanted to work and make her own money, and her mom back in Thailand really wanted to spend time with her granddaughter. I also needed to arrange the divorce which would take 6 months or so.

So......it was decided by BOTH of us that mom and daughter would go to Thailand, spend time with the grandmother, the mom would work and save some money, and then in 4-6 months, I would go back and get them and move everyone here to the USA.

In March, even though that plan was still in effect, the mom (influenced I am sure by the Matty guy-her boss), decided to stay in Thailand. It was not something I liked or wanted. I was perfectly willing to move them back to the USA in May or so and be a family. And I told the mom that many times after. I practically begged her to reconsider. I in no way shape or form wanted her to stay in Thailand. However, she, at least for now, wants to stay in Thailand. She will go one week where she hates me, and the next week telling me what a wonderful family we would be. It is very stressful and at this point I just think it best to let any thought of that go for now.

So, if she plans on staying in Thailand, I am going to have to work it out with my wife where I get to be a part of the childs life. I 1000000000% plan on being in her life. If that means I have to go to Thailand and sue for joint custody? I will.

The baby has my last name. I named her first name. I will be a part of her life.

I honestly don't know why any of this is even relevant. It is not the issue I am having. The issue I am having is this guy on her facebook page making comments that I feel are not only disrespectful, but I feel they are very odd and bordering on P E D O. No guy, even if the wants to get in her pants, talks THIS much about a young girl like this. Plus, they dated 4 years ago or so very casually and she never took it any further because she just wasn't that into him. Let me put it like this, if the situation was reversed, and this guy had a baby daughter here in the USA and I was dating the mom, I would not even consider saying the things about the girl that this guy is. Period.

And to Des....
I think I have every right to make judgements on this guy. I am a parent. She has my last name. I named her. I was there at her birth. I spent 6 months with them last summer and fall. We decided that she would move to Thailand for a short time as I said, and then she reneged on that. I will go to Thailand if I have to to get joint custody. The baby is American. She belongs in the USA.

The guy is either a P E D O or just doing this stuff to get in the moms pants again. Do I think he is doing it out of the goodness of his heart? No shot.

 

[Thorninmyside]

I live between Thailand and my home town. It is a perfectly fine place to grow up in, assuming the home environment is stable and funded. Your money will actually go a LOT further there than it will in the US for upbringing and schooling (like 5x as far).

Why don't you start by re-establishing a relationship with your daughter by visiting a few times a year? Forget competing with uncle white knight faggot guy on Facebook. Go there and be a Dad for her in person. Show mom that you are there for your daughter in person as well as symbolically and financially. As for her mom's moods, Thai women can be extremely split-personality when expectations don't match reality. Thai moms will shack up with a good provider even if the love isn't there, so the threat is real, but the solution is to go there and put this guy in his place with action.

PM me any time if you need to know more about Thai culture or society.

 

[Desdinova]

So, if she plans on staying in Thailand, I am going to have to work it out with my wife where I get to be a part of the childs life. I 1000000000% plan on being in her life. If that means I have to go to Thailand and sue for joint custody? I will.

...and how does your wife feel about all of this???

I honestly don't know why any of this is even relevant.

You have two women in your life... One you married and betrayed, and one you just fvcked and happened to get pregnant. You've already fvcked up three peoples' lives, so all of this IS relevant. One woman is trying to fix things with you, one is trying to create a new family, and you're trying to fvck all of it up for everyone even moreso. Your daughter is in another country for chrissake. The funny thing is, YOU MOVED HER THERE.

So......it was decided by BOTH of us that mom and daughter would go to Thailand, spend time with the grandmother, the mom would work and save some money, and then in 4-6 months, I would go back and get them and move everyone here to the USA.

Why do you think you run all of these people's lives? Because you're paying for everything? Money isn't going to fix all of this 5hit, and now things aren't going your way. You're going to stomp all over everyone and their plans in order to get your own way. When the hell does that work for anybody???

The issue I am having is this guy on her facebook page making comments that I feel are not only disrespectful, but I feel they are very odd and bordering on P E D O. No guy, even if the wants to get in her pants, talks THIS much about a young girl like this.

Did you ever think that he's behaving like this because he's from a different culture? There are people who absolutely adore children, and I don't mean this in the way a pedophile adores them. I know people, both men and women who are great with kids regardless of who those kids belong to, and they don't molest them.

I still think your best bet is to wash your hands clean of the situation, at least for now. You fvcked up big time, and you're going to have to pay some sort of a consequence for it. You can't just get your way whenever you want. Take whatever you haven't squandered on the slot machine of life and run. You have a loyal woman who wants to make life work with you. Perhaps you should work on fixing that fvck up first before you fix the fvck up with your daughter.

As for the guy playing uncle with your daughter, you're going to have to learn to live with your baby momma having other men in both her and your daughter's life. Threatening the guy is only going to fvck up your relationship with your daughter's mom, and as a result will further fvck up your relationship with your daughter.

But you won't listen anyway. Go ahead and threaten the guy. Just don't be surprised if things still don't go the way you want them to, or even possibly get worse.

 

[Dingo]

Am I the only one that sees the girlfriend/daughter out of the country as a good thing ? And she has a new man that likes and is kind to your daughter ?

You dodged this bullet.... OK maybe you got hit but it was a through by through.

Let her have her new life in Thailand and try to re make yours here.

 

[RangerMIke]

You have a child be a father.... stop being a whinny *****. You could not be loyal to your wife... fine no problem I get that... but fvcking divorce her.

Don't fvck around on your wife,,, if you are not happy fvcking divorce her and stop being a weak @ss *****.

 

[Dingo]

The little girl has a father... the guy the girlfriend went back to live with.

Leave them be... send money to help....

 

[GhostOfCordon]

Allow me to inform you of something... THIS IS HOW PARENTS ACT. You have no fvcking clue how a parent acts with their child because YOU ARE NOT A PARENT. You have absolutely no right to make judgements about this guy.

.

I think I have every right to make judgements on this guy. I am a parent. She has my last name. I named her. I was there at her birth. I spent 6 months with them last summer and fall. We decided that she would move to Thailand for a short time as I said, and then she reneged on that. I will go to Thailand if I have to to get joint custody. The baby is American. She belongs in the USA.

The guy is either a P E D O or just doing this stuff to get in the moms pants again. Do I think he is doing it out of the goodness of his heart? No shot.

Cordon me and you are very similar. I also have a hot asian gf that I cheated on and that took me back and has accepted me for the lying but handsome scumbag that I am.

Your baby mama lives in thailand. I can say you have very little chance of ever seeing your daughter without her mother's agreement ever again. If you look into legal proceedings it could take years.

Who knows maybe the baby mama will come around and realize her daughter needs a father.. Without a father or male role model in her life she will have a very tough time growing up. I wrote a really good thread about girls with daddy issues you can read it up by searching in my thread history.

Otherwise, treat the baby momma and this "uncle" or whatever nice. Whether you like it or not, they control your daughter's access to you.

Have you looked into legal proceedings? Try to find a lawyer who is familiar with filing Hague convention claims if you want to go that route. I assume you are named as the father on the child's birth certificate?

Yes. I am down as father on the BC.

...and how does your wife feel about all of this???



You have two women in your life... One you married and betrayed, and one you just fvcked and happened to get pregnant. You've already fvcked up three peoples' lives, so all of this IS relevant. One woman is trying to fix things with you, one is trying to create a new family, and you're trying to fvck all of it up for everyone even moreso. Your daughter is in another country for chrissake. The funny thing is, YOU MOVED HER THERE.



Why do you think you run all of these people's lives? Because you're paying for everything? Money isn't going to fix all of this 5hit, and now things aren't going your way. You're going to stomp all over everyone and their plans in order to get your own way. When the hell does that work for anybody???



Did you ever think that he's behaving like this because he's from a different culture? There are people who absolutely adore children, and I don't mean this in the way a pedophile adores them. I know people, both men and women who are great with kids regardless of who those kids belong to, and they don't molest them.

I still think your best bet is to wash your hands clean of the situation, at least for now. You fvcked up big time, and you're going to have to pay some sort of a consequence for it. You can't just get your way whenever you want. Take whatever you haven't squandered on the slot machine of life and run. You have a loyal woman who wants to make life work with you. Perhaps you should work on fixing that fvck up first before you fix the fvck up with your daughter.

As for the guy playing uncle with your daughter, you're going to have to learn to live with your baby momma having other men in both her and your daughter's life. Threatening the guy is only going to fvck up your relationship with your daughter's mom, and as a result will further fvck up your relationship with your daughter.

But you won't listen anyway. Go ahead and threaten the guy. Just don't be surprised if things still don't go the way you want them to, or even possibly get worse.

 

[GhostOfCordon]

The white knight matty guy is as white and American as I am. He obviously moved there years ago to bang young Thai w hores.

And I have not said a word on the facebook page to him, or in private. In fact the only thing I have said at all in the past 4 months is a on a video of my daughter playing a musical instrument, and In just commented "a young EDM Dj in the making."

I doubt I say anything to him unless he gets even worse.

 

[GhostOfCordon]

And as far as getting my own way, I have never said I wanted that or expect that. Obviously getting my own way would be to have both women living with me, having threesomes, and living with my daughter as well who I can love and take care of every day.

All I have ever complained about, and believe me when I say I have told my wife and the mom that I deserve everything bad thing that comes my way as a result of my actions, but all I have ever complained about is this guy making what I feel to be over the top comments about my daughter on a public forum that my family and friends see. I don't think that is asking or expecting a lot.

 

[GhostOfCordon]

The little girl has a father... the guy the girlfriend went back to live with.

Leave them be... send money to help....

No lol. The guy maybe sees my daughter once a week, doesn't live with her, is not a father in any way. He just wants to bang the mom...who admittedly is very hot.