Latinoman said:
However, and I say this with all due respect...don't you think that the "new" man in your mother's life wouldn't have to deal with some issues? Such as grieve and pain and trying to overcome a loss? Issues that are normal for a human and even understandable.
Oh, I understand perfectly that there will likely be emotional scars in most of these situations. I'm not saying that we should all go hop on single mothers and play Kleenex-Man. If anyones chooses not to date single mothers, they are completely within their rights to do so, and it probably makes sense for most people not to. I'm simply pointing out that sometimes extenuating circumstances may have caused that singleness and that calling every single mother a vvhore because of it is stupid. Case in point.....
my ex-wife was the perfect mother and also the perfect wife. She is now a single mother (well, 50% of the time). Why? Because I left her.
You leaving your wife didn't automatically turn her into a vvhore, did it? This is just one of the situations where an perfectly normal woman (by your own description) was involuntarily put into a situation that would cause some to label her. It sounds as if you still respect her, so honestly, how would you react if you saw people calling her a vvhore because she's a single mom?
That being said, I have dated a few single moms. Some
were psycho slutbags, but some were just normal people in a hard place. The trick is that if you do choose to date a single mother, just be extra careful taking the time to weed out the excessively damaged or dirty ones. Or you can just avoid them altogether, it's just a personal choice. Myself, I'd rather judge them on a case by case basis, and be ready to walk at the first sign that's she's one of the bad ones.
For example, I met this girl, chatted got her number and email, then found out later that she has three kids. I was fairly ungh about it, but I figured I'd give it a shot. We set a time, she's a no show. I get an email from her the next day saying that one of her kids fell and needed stiches. I'm like "ok whatever", but she's a solid 9 so I'm willing to give her another chance. Set another date, another no show. So I block her email, delete her number, and walk away. Two weeks later, I have to reset my email settings and I figure it's safe to not block her again, she must have gotten the point by now. Ohhhhh no, two days later I get an email from her about how her car caught on fire and she lost my number and her friend was in town and she had tonsilitis and world war three started in her basement (or might as well have). Now, she is a bad one, not because she has kids, but because she acts like a child and isn't responsible. With her type, even if she didn't have kids, you'd still be getting excuses and BS, and having kids doesn't turn a woman into that type, it's just who they are.
On the flip side, I have dated single moms who were perfectly capable of living a normal life and not imposing any of their hardships or problems on anyone else. One SM I dated always had a babysitter on time, had a regular babysitter for the weekends so she wouldn't have to scramble to find one if we chose to go out last minute, only brought her kid over to my place during the day (never at night when we would be banging), and even then she always asked if it was ok to bring her. I was never asked to pay for anything for the kid, not presents, not food, not clothes, nothing. She never cancelled dates at the last second, never stood me up, never made her issues my problem. Her being a single mom had no detrimental effect on her ability to have a normal relationship.
So it can go either way. If you don't want to do it, don't. I just don't like it when people have a bad experience (or hear about them) wih single mothers and think that calling them all vvhores is appropriate.
