Is this relationship worth it?

[EyeBRollin]

Only a fool would think about marrying someone without living together with them for a bit.

Statistically this is dead wrong. Spouses who cohabitate before marriage have higher divorce rates.

 

[Lookatu]

Statistically this is dead wrong. Spouses who cohabitate before marriage have higher divorce rates.

You're looking at different stats than me. Despite the stats, wouldn't you wanna know that you can tolerate someone 24/7 before getting married or engaged? Think about it...

 

[EyeBRollin]

You're looking at different stats than me. Despite the stats, wouldn't you wanna know that you can tolerate someone 24/7 before getting married or engaged? Think about it...

Why are you arguing against the facts? Regardless of what you think is logical, couples that live together before getting married are significantly more likely to get divorced.

 

[Grinderman]

You're looking at different stats than me. Despite the stats, wouldn't you wanna know that you can tolerate someone 24/7 before getting married or engaged? Think about it...

I'm not sure if those who view marriage as a viable option (ie they believe in marriage) consider taking a test drive first to see where it goes. The marriage is the living together part and (hopefully more than) tolerating each other. There is no test drive.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You're looking at different stats than me. Despite the stats, wouldn't you wanna know that you can tolerate someone 24/7 before getting married or engaged? Think about it...

If you don't know that or not after spending multiple nights/weekends with them prior to living with them you probably have the wrong person.

 

[Lookatu]

Why are you arguing against the facts? Regardless of what you think is logical, couples that live together before getting married are significantly more likely to get divorced.

Who's facts? I'm merely asking YOU a question. Once again, wouldn't YOU wanna know that you can tolerate someone 24/7 by living with them before getting engaged or married?

 

[EyeBRollin]

I'm not sure if those who view marriage as a viable option (ie they believe in marriage) consider taking a test drive first to see where it goes. The marriage is the living together part and (hopefully more than) tolerating each other. There is no test drive.

That, and there is no benefit to being domesticated with a live-in girlfriend. Either reap the benefits of marriage or enjoy the bachelor life. Make a choice.

 

[Lookatu]

If you don't know that or not after spending multiple nights/weekends with them prior to living with them you probably have the wrong person.

This isn't the same and can't replicate actually living with someone 24/7. I'm guessing a lot of you haven't been in a serious LTR long enough to live with anyone.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This isn't the same and can't replicate actually living with someone 24/7. I'm guessing a lot of you haven't been in a serious LTR long enough to live with anyone.

I have actually. I stand by what I said.

 

[Lookatu]

That, and there is no benefit to being domesticated with a live-in girlfriend. Either reap the benefits of marriage or enjoy the bachelor life. Make a choice.

So let's say you never live with someone and then get married and find out certain things about them that annoy you where it becomes deal breakers. What then?

 

[EyeBRollin]

So let's say you never live with someone and then get married and find out certain things about them that annoy you where it becomes deal breakers. What then?

Why would you get married to someone who has deal breakers for you?

I don’t like drugs or smokers. Why the fvck would I not know that the chick I’m dating does drugs?

This sounds like a bunch of excuses. Shvt of get off the pot. She’s either compatible enough to wife or she’s not. The statistics bear this out. Living with her first increases your chance of ending up in divorce court.

 

[Lookatu]

Why would you get married to someone who has deal breakers for you?

I don’t like drugs or smokers. Why the fvck would I not know that the chick I’m dating does drugs?

This sounds like a bunch of excuses. Shvt of get off the pot. She’s either compatible enough to wife or she’s not. The statistics bear this out. Living with her first increases your chance of ending up in divorce court.

It's clear you haven't been married. Things come up all the time no matter how good you screen. There are literally so many variables and nuances that can't all be accounted for. These IMO only get uncovered over time living with someone.

So far I'm still married. Been married for over 13 years. I see and hang out with other married people and have seen the things that's worked and what hasn't. Other's that haven't been married or divorced, or let along been able to sustain an LTR might have a different perspective and that's ok. I'm not here to change that but only offer some of my perspectives based on experience to those that choose to listen. Take it or leave it and agree to disagree.

You do you and please update this thread in 10-20 years if you ever get married and follow your method.

 

[EyeBRollin]

It's clear you haven't been married. Things come up all the time no matter how good you screen. There are literally so many variables and nuances that can't all be accounted for. These IMO only get uncovered over time living with someone.

This only strengthens the argument against cohabitation. Marriage is a risk. Anything dealing with human beings is a risk. There’s literally no point in cohabitating first because all nuances can’t be accounted for.

You do you and please update this thread in 10-20 years if you ever get married and follow your method.

Anecdotal evidence doesn’t supersede empirical data. The statistics are what they are. Premarital cohabitation leads to higher divorce rates.

 

[Lookatu]

This only strengthens the argument against cohabitation. Marriage is a risk. Anything dealing with human beings is a risk. There’s literally no point in cohabitating first because all nuances can’t be accounted for.

Anecdotal evidence doesn’t supersede empirical data. The statistics are what they are. Premarital cohabitation leads to higher divorce rates.

LOL. Like I said, you do you and do what you think would work for you. Keep reading them stats and articles and let those run your life and decisions.

 

[EyeBRollin]

LOL. Like I said, you do you and do what you think would work for you. Keep reading them stats and articles and let those run your life and decisions.

Absolutely. I favor odds, percentages, and data over hunches. That’s the advice I’ll pass onto others.

 

[Lookatu]

Absolutely. I favor odds, percentages, and data over hunches. That’s the advice I’ll pass onto others.

I think it's a generational thing. Younger peeps growing up with the internet always relies on reading reviews, articles, and such before pulling the trigger or going for it. Whether it's buying a product, going on a trip, staying at a hotel, interacting with people(dates, friends, etc). Where as older peeps just went for it since we didn't have that info at our knowledge at the time.

But despite all the mistakes I've made in the past(not having the internet), I can say I'm glad I just went for it. Because out of the many mistakes, I've came across some gems and great moments in life that I would've never if I had just relied on some articles and been hesitant.

So I can understand your mentality is all I'm saying and like I said, if it works for you, it works for you.

 

[King Lion]

You're "overreacting"...Sh*t, when any of my women ever gave me so much as a weekend alone I was tapping some other honey's azz.

When life gives you lemons - Make lemonade man!

 

[EyeBRollin]

I think it's a generational thing. Younger peeps growing up with the internet always relies on reading reviews, articles, and such before pulling the trigger or going for it. Whether it's buying a product, going on a trip, staying at a hotel, interacting with people(dates, friends, etc). Where as older peeps just went for it since we didn't have that info at our knowledge at the time.

This is rich. You’re advocating men have a live-in girlfriend before marriage, while telling me (“younger peep”) need to just “pull the trigger and go for it” in life. Can’t make this shvt up...

 

[Lookatu]

This is rich. You’re advocating men have a live-in girlfriend before marriage, while telling me (“younger peep”) need to just “pull the trigger and go for it” in life. Can’t make this shvt up...

You're not understanding me and putting things in my mouth. You seem to have a one track mind. Can't do anything about that. I'll just leave it as-is, as obviously nothing is getting through...

With that kind of mindset, good luck with any relationships. You need to learn to listen and understand before spouting off your viewpoints on what you perceive without validating. What's the longest relationship you've been in? I'm very curious...

 

[EyeBRollin]

it at LEAST 1.5 years MINIMUM to detect the red flags that she wants to keep hidden. Not so simple.

18 months from first date or 18 months before an engagement?

For example, Tyrone meets his lady in January 2021, they become exclusive March 2021, engaged January 2022 with a wedding date of August 2022, is that 18 months?