Is this really happening?

[JohnChops]

go get an ultrasound by her OBGYN, and be in the room. Pregnancy tests will detect hCG, if she was injecting it this whole time, the test pops positive. The ultrasound will not lie.

 

[sazc]

if she is 7 weeks along the fetus will have a heartbeat. Go on craigslist and look for a fetal heart beat monitor, probably $30. You might be able to get one with earphones. Make sure you can use it that early. You can use that to confirm a fetus.

 

[BeExcellent]

Hang in there. Avoid her as much as you can if you believe she is lying or using this to ensnare you.

In 4 months or 5 months it will be evident whether or not she is pregnant. DO NOT HAVE ANY MORE SEX. If she is indeed pregnant insist on a paternity test.

I'd drop her and wait it out. Either she is pregnant or she isn't. IF she is either it's yours or it isn't. She has tried before to trap a man with a baby and she is trying again.

Quit having sex and distance yourself. Unless you have a real reason to think she is AND it's yours you can't do anything about it anyway. If she isn't getting what she wants (to trap you) then the situation may resolve itself (oh gee I had a miscarriage *translation: I wasn't ever pregnant or I wasn't getting what I wanted so I had the abortion on my own).

Right now you are buying the drama hook line & sinker. You are playing into her game.

Play wait and see. I know that sounds cold but it is spectacularly effective. In 6 months you'll have your answer, but no more sex. Seriously.

 

[Die Hard]

The fetal monitor thing is a great idea, thanks! Unfortunately, those things may not pick anything up until 14 weeks pregnancy... http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/ask-heidi/fetal-heart-monitors.aspx

I did all the research and phone calls myself. The ultrasound is mandatory, no way around it. But they said they can turn away the screen and she can put in earbuds. Still, she refused to make the appointment (the laws demand the woman makes the appointment herself, I cannot make one for her.)

By the way, keep in mind, I live somewhere in Europe.

Waiting out for several months until her belly must be big is not an option. If she's pregnant, I need to start making big changes in my life, work finances everything, I need to prepare for legal cases coz I will not allow her to raise the child. I can't just wait, I have to know now...

 

[Die Hard]

I get your point, BeExcellent. I have reason to believe she's faking it but I also have reason to believe she's really pregnant.

Oh, here's something else. When she ordered the HCG, she also ordered erection pills along with it. Well, I certainly don't need those, my d!ck works just fine. So why did she order those? It indicates she's having sex with someone else too... Maybe she's trying to get pregnant with several guys, to raise chances. I want to throw up right now, thinking about this...

She had a baby late 2014, I found forum posts of her on some website, asking on which days of menstruation cycle a couple should have sex to raise chances of getting pregnant... This post was made 7 months after she had her child!
I know for sure she also ordered the HCG last May (she hadn't met me at that point), so she was trying to get pregnant then too, I guess. And now she's trying to get pregnant with me too, it seems. Short story: she had a baby late 2014, she was inquiring how to get pregnant 7 months later, she was ordering HCG one year after that and she is trying or maybe really pregnant from me at the moment. She seems obsessed with getting pregnant.... This bytch is psycho to the max...

Last week she had to do stuff for work, she needed to drive there in her car. Later she called me, told me traffic was terrible and was saying things that clearly indicated she was trying to keep me busy and draw my attention away from her while she drove home. I could clearly tell from the background sounds that she was NOT in a car, she was somewhere inside. I told her it sounded like that and she denied it but she responded like a kid who just got caught with his hands in the cookie jar...

 

[backbreaker]

First and foremost, stop crying like a ***** and be a man. Like the most important thread on this forum is entitled be a man.

A man understands and completely accecpts that every action has consequences, positive or negative. Above all a man does what is necessary, not what they feel like doing. That would be the females we ***** about all day everyday.


First, make sure its yours. Assuming it is, that child is your responsibility. You willingly procreated with this woman. Whatever's she decides you will 100% support because your a man, not a *****



With that said, just because life doesn't go as you planned it, doesn't make it bad. I don't know if you believe in god but I do. I believe that god gives us the things we need, when we need them rather we understand why or not.



As far as playing around my dad had me, my brother and never seriously settled down, to this day. And I wouldn't be the man I am today without him he did a damn good job even while hoing lol. He taught me how to be responsible, how to work hard, and how to take care of myself. You dont have to marry the woman


But you do have to man up


Im a year younger than u and have 2. You'll live. We're programmed to KNOW ehat to do.

 

[Desdinova]

Dude, I'm so sorry you're going through this with an obvious fvck up for a woman. That's a lot of 5hit to go through.

Coz pregnancy tests are not reliable anyway, since the HCG injections woudl make them show positive.

In other words, she still ordered that stuff when she was already 7 weeks pregnant. Makes no sense, why order stuff that raises your chances of getting pregnant when you are ALREADY pregnant?!

The ultrasound is mandatory, no way around it. But they said they can turn away the screen and she can put in earbuds. Still, she refused to make the appointment (the laws demand the woman makes the appointment herself, I cannot make one for her.)

All this doesn't sound right. She may not even be pregnant. You NEED to find out the answer and she's not co-operating in getting it. If I were you, I'd pull an ultimatum. Tell her she needs to get the ultrasound or you're going to withdraw from supporting her through the pregnancy. You NEED to know what's going on.

 

[sazc]

Dude, I'm so sorry you're going through this with an obvious fvck up for a woman. That's a lot of 5hit to go through.
All this doesn't sound right. She may not even be pregnant. You NEED to find out the answer and she's not co-operating in getting it. If I were you, I'd pull an ultimatum. Tell her she needs to get the ultrasound or you're going to withdraw from supporting her through the pregnancy. You NEED to know what's going on.

I agree. Tell her she wont be receiving any support from you, emotionally or otherwise, until she confirms the pregnancy thru ultrasound, with you in the room, and that the next contact you want is the information for the time and date of the ultrasound, whether that be right now, or in 13 weeks (at the 20 week ultrasound) Then stick to your NC unless the contact is about the appointment. Do not accept after-the-fact ultrasound pictures from her. Those are easy to get. She can put you on the list of people that are okay to release medical information to at her dr's office and you can walk in and get confirmation in person. Dont accept any documents/documentation from her, she can fabricate that too. If there ends up being a baby, you must get a blood test.

In the meantime, I would start by silently assuming that she is pregnant, and it is yours. Implement the financial aspect now, save money, etc. Get the necessary affairs in order without letting her know. I would speak to a lawyer to understand your rights and figure out how you want to handle it if it comes to fruition.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I agree. Tell her she wont be receiving any support from you, emotionally or otherwise, until she confirms the pregnancy thru ultrasound, with you in the room, and that the next contact you want is the information for the time and date of the ultrasound, whether that be right now, or in 13 weeks (at the 20 week ultrasound) Then stick to your NC unless the contact is about the appointment. Do not accept after-the-fact ultrasound pictures from her. Those are easy to get. She can put you on the list of people that are okay to release medical information to at her dr's office and you can walk in and get confirmation in person. Dont accept any documents/documentation from her, she can fabricate that too. If there ends up being a baby, you must get a blood test.

In the meantime, I would start by silently assuming that she is pregnant, and it is yours. Implement the financial aspect now, save money, etc. Get the necessary affairs in order without letting her know. I would speak to a lawyer to understand your rights and figure out how you want to handle it if it comes to fruition.

If she's pregnant he HAS to do paternity to make Certain that the child is his

 

[Die Hard]

Misunderstandings, backbreaker. I am going crazy BECAUSE I want to take responsibility for my own flesh and blood, not because I want to avoid responsibility. I want to protect the child from growing up under a sick psycho bytch, but I fear I won't be able to prevent that. THAT is my greatest concern here, to prevent a kid from being born into a total fvcked up environment. Giving up my own life and freedom when my child is born, is not why I'm going crazy, I can and will accept that if necessary.

Desdinova, thanks for caring man. The ultimatum won't work... The father of her previous child didn't take responsibility during her pregnancy and was only concerned with her not telling the whole world he was the father. He also told her he wouldn't pay child support. These discussions went on throughout her pregnancy and she felt deserted by him and all alone on the world blabla. It have her a lot of stress to go through the pregnancy all alone and hearing him say that he felt no responsibility for her hardship while she was going through the pregnancy. She convinced herself that the stress from this situation affected her child in the womb and that this caused the child to have big problems after birth.

She brainwashed herself into thinking that everything would've been great with the child if she had not been in contact with the father during pregnancy. In other words, if I give her an ultimatum and threaten not to support her during pregnancy, she will only twist that in her mind and simply try to make it through the pregnancy on her own. And she will think that THIS time she's gonna succeed, coz THIS time she will simply shut out and break contact with the dad (me), so she will not have stress and the child will be perfect...
She's sick in the head man, I think she wants to keep this child and do everything properly, to make up for all the mistakes in the previous pregnancy she went through... She wants to prove to herself that this time she can prevent the mistakes from last time...

But you're right, I NEED to know what's going on and force her into an ultrasound. The ultimatum with threat about not supporting her is just not gonna have that effect, she is too stubborn and will just convince herself that she's gonna make it without my support. So I need to come up with some other way...

 

[zekko]

In other words, if she doesn't get an abortion, my whole life is destroyed.

Die Hard, I'm really sorry that you are in this position and I wish you the best. But maybe someone else can learn from this situation. Maybe it is a mistake to take all this sexuality stuff and simply turn it into a "Game". There are serious repercussions and consequences when it comes to sex, and I think the manosphere sometimes seems to deny this, or at least underplay it.

I always think that if there was all this "red pill" stuff available when I was younger, sure I would have had more fun probably, but perhaps I might have ended up with an illegitimate child or STD or such. Maybe I was better off fumbling around in ignorance.

 

[sazc]

Die Hard, I'm really sorry that you are in this position and I wish you the best. But maybe someone else can learn from this situation. Maybe it is a mistake to take all this sexuality stuff and simply turn it into a "Game". There are serious repercussions and consequences when it comes to sex, and I think the manosphere sometimes seems to deny this, or at least underplay it.

I always think that if there was all this "red pill" stuff available when I was younger, sure I would have had more fun probably, but perhaps I might have ended up with an illegitimate child or STD or such. Maybe I was better off fumbling around in ignorance.

I dont 'get' from reading these boards that anyone here advocates unprotected sex. In fact, I've seen more than a few posts that talk about wrapping it up. I've also seen posts where posters talk about making sure you pull out in time, but no one here has ever suggested (that I have seen) that you play with baby making fire by cvuming inside of her without thought.

 

[dude99]

Can't believe I'm writing this...

• I ended things with a plate 6 weeks ago. See here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index....ith-benefits-without-getting-attached.236579/
• She contacted me last week, saying she was experiencing strong nausea and decided to do a pregnancy test just in case. Test seemed positive. We decided she should wait a few days and then test again.
• She did several more tests today, they all turned out positive.

She told me she's devastated and this is about the worst thing that could possibly happen to her.

I'll go over to her place later today to discuss things... I didn't want to start a discussion over text, so I tried evading the whole matter of keeping it versus abortion etc. But from certain things she said, it seems she's seriously considering to keep it.

I just can't believe this is happening, she was on the pill the whole time while we were seeing each other! I have never been in this sitation before, I have never even IMAGINED being in this situation before, it's just so surreal, I can't believe this...

She is fvcked up in the head, red flags all over the place. History of abusive dad, abusive boyfriends, self mutilation, depression. The type of woman you should stay faaaaar away from, let alone have a child with!!!

In other words, if she doesn't get an abortion, my whole life is destroyed. I might just commit suicide, seriously. I'm trying to stay calm but inside I'm freaking out like hell. I just can't believe this is really happening...

All I'm trying to focus on now, is how I can do the best job of convincing her to get the abortion. I'm just afraid that I won't be able to control myself during the upcoming conversation. She already told me she is going crazy and that she might get hysterical during conversation, that she fears we will become opposed to each other in the conversation and how she can't handle the stress of us becoming opposed to each other on top of the stress of realizing she's pregnant.

Her saying this scares the sh!t out of me. She knows I don't want kids, so when she says she fears we will become opposed to each other, it can only mean one thing: She is inclined to keep the child...

I keep reassuring myself that I will convince her with strong arguments that keeping the child would be a HUGE mistake. I just keep telling myself she will eventually see that I'm right about that, if I just keep repeating the arguments enough to her. But she's a woman, so I fear she will be overtaken by her emotions and her reluctance to "kill" something which is growing inside of her.

I'm afraid I will totally lose it when she does this in the conversation. I'm afraid I will just snap and either do something terrible to her or to myself. I'm just totally going crazy right now and don't know what to think or what to do, I started hyperventilating and crying earlier when I realized just how serious this situation is.

If I ever needed support and good advice during the seven years I've been on SoSuave, it sure is today guys. I really need your help......

Sign nothing. When possible get a preternity test done asap to prove it is or isn't. If you don't and she deems you the father even if you aren't you could be on the hook for support.


Get legal council.

 

[Die Hard]

I see how my OP might suggest that I'm out to safe my own life. I literally said my whole life would be destroyed if she kept the child...

At that point, I didn't realize yet how toxic this woman is and I was probably more focused on saving my own life from becoming a mess.

In the meantime, I've found out just how fvcked up in the head she is and I've found out exactly how bad the previous kid suffered after it was born. It's a shame her diary is in my native language, otherwise I would've copy/pasted the whole thing for you guys. It makes me cringe to read how fvcked up her situation was during and after the pregnancy, how the kid developed serious mental problems and how she was completely unable to give it a safe emotional environment coz she herself was an emotional wreck and radiated this onto her child.

Now that I know this, I don't even care about saving my own life from becoming a mess. I only care about preventing my own child from experiencing the same as her previous kid. Even though it's still an underdeveloped fetus right now, if it gets born it will at that point be my son or my daughter. And it will suffer, I am 100% convinced of that. It will suffer when it grows up with her and it will even suffer if I manage to get custody. First of all, it will need its mother during the first weeks/months, for breastfeeding, to experience physical safety etc. etc. Even if its mom is a sick pscyho bytch, tearing a kid away from its mother after birth will have traumatic effects on the child. Furthermore, I don't have the means to take care of it on my own, even if I manage to get custody.
Furthermore, the battle for custody will cause a lot of stress for her and me both, and the kid will be in the middle of that stressful situation and it will have hugely negative effects on him. I don't care what you people think, I studied this sh!t, I know how incredibly sensitive a baby is to all the effects of its environment. Simply leaving a baby to cry in its bed too long when it needs comfort or food might cause trauma, it's the most delicate situaion you can imagine and small things have huge effects on it.

But we're not even talking about small things, we're talking about a very difficult, stressful environment, whether it stays with her, whether it stays with me, whether her and me will fight about its custody, it will get caught in a conflct of loyalty towards its mom and dad, her and me would say negative things about each other as he grows up and the kidwill have two fighting parents as an example, while a kid should have two loving parents as an example.

Perhaps you think I'm a pessimist but I could go on for a while, summing up all the things that so clearly show that this kid would grow up in a pathological, emotionally harmful, very unstable environment.

THAT is all I am focused on and I want to safe the child from that by aborting it. I know it may sound fvcked up to some of you that I want to kill it now. But I'd rather kill it now, when it has no consciousness, no thoughts, no awareness of past present or future, no ability to even feel physical pain, THAN TO LET IT BE BORN INTO A MISERABLE SITUATION.

If I won't succeed at this and it gets born anyway, all I can do then is try to do damage control. So if it gets born, I will certainly try to be there for the child and pay child support etc. It's fvcked up that she would force me into that , but if it's really my child, I won't keep money away from him just because I hate his mom and can't accept that she fvcked me over...

But that's all assuming she really is pregnant and the kid is MINE. So first priority is finding out whether she is pregnant, and if so, whether I am the father.

Right now I really don't know how I can find out the first, let alone the second. At least, not within a short time frame. The fvcked up thing about that is once I finally know, I might've fvcked many things up already. I mean, if I knew for certain that my kid will be born in 7 months, I would start making major changes in my life right now. Hell, I should be making sure that this bytch doesn't get herself in stressful situation, doesn't take drugs, eats well etc. coz all that stuff will already have major influences on my future child.

But I don't know jack sh!t, and I can't act on assumptions. I need to get answers, I just don't know how...

 

[CMNILS87]

Is she BPD or baby crazy?

 

[Prime_Beef]

No point worrying about it until kid born. If she's trampin' it around she may choose a different father. If not and she claims you, then u get the DNA test. Based on results, you file legal.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Well I'll probably offend some peoples' precious feelings but reading this is f*cking pathetic. OP goes damn near mentally insane after learning his plate is likely pregnant and can't deal with it, and we learn his plate is also mentally unstable. Subsequent update states that after discussing all this with her, starts crying together and having sex again. OP's profile lists him as being 34 years old!

Here's a question OP, why is a mentally unstable woman a plate of yours to begin with? You yourself even said red flags all over the place. Now potentially either an innocent life is destroyed through an abortion, or destroyed later on after being born and raised by 2 unstable people.

Here is, according to many in today's society, an antiquated notion for you OP: Sack up and deal with it like a man.

 

[zekko]

Here's a question OP, why is a mentally unstable woman a plate of yours to begin with? You yourself even said red flags all over the place.

In the OP's defense, most of the advice I've seen here about red flags is to disqualify her for a relationship, and just use her for sex. But I agree dealing with mentally unstable women on any level is usually not worth the hassle.

I dont 'get' from reading these boards that anyone here advocates unprotected sex.

Didn't say they did, wasn't my point. But condoms are not foolproof, mistakes can and do happen. Same with other methods.

 

[jdb]

I've been through this, it's obvious you don't want the child. Where is she at in her pregnancy?

 

[Fruitbat]

I feel sorry for OP and yes, bettercallsaul, the OP has not behaved perfectly but **** happens. His mistake does not fit the charge sheet of 20 years of support and entwinementt with a woman.

look on the bright side OP. It could be bull**** (I had a girl claim pregnancy falsely once) but if it's true and she won't abort:

Despite it not being exactly as you wished, you will have a child and when you're gone, something of you will remain. I am 34 too, the idea of "plates" for me is a dream almost, just getting a GF is challenging enough and many of us would love a legacy but struggle finding a woman to give us one. You have your legacy if this is true. It's kind of the point of human existence.

Also, be happy as you are not sterile and can gather children, many men cannot and would give anything for a child, even with a red flag woman.

Your life is not over, if you have your **** together even with a child, you're still ahead of 99% of other men. Most women don't have issues like we do about having previous children.

The price of having plates is this kind of thing happening.

I must say, let this be a lesson to everyone on the use of contraception. Never believe them and only consider the pill as worthy for a girl in a LTR.

Yes, I've done bareback with random women. Has anyone here ALWAYS been perfect in this regard?? I have, except when I am drunk. No babies but had a few trips to the clinic from doing this, luckily all curable **** but I was lucky.

OP you can't really change what she wants to do other than tell her the truth you don't want it. If she keeps it, just adjust your life to a new paradigm - from Diehard to Diehard plus child.

Also, remember that while you remain single she is tied up with your kid. Think of all the beta sucks like me say at home pining over wanting a family while you can eat shoot and leave and she's happy so long as she has your sperm. Things could be worse.