Is this guy a Don Juan?

[nishbuk]

His reply:

I am going to kiawah island with a friend of mine... it should be a fun weekend away...

mouse fun at the office sounds really funny

I am eager to hear what's up with the cops and stuff.

Let me know... [/B]

Alright...

WHO ARE YOU!! WE ALL KNOW YOU POST ON THESE BOARDS. SHOW YOURSELF!

 

[DreamyChick]

Originally posted by nishbuk
Alright...

WHO ARE YOU!! WE ALL KNOW YOU POST ON THESE BOARDS. SHOW YOURSELF!

I have and you missed out.

 

[Gonzalo]

Originally posted by DreamyChick
why is he playing games when he said he likes our friendship? There's no point right? So why not be straight up with me?

Moment he said "our friendship", you immediately wanted more.

Classic.

And yeah, guy is either a DJ or just not that interested in you.

G

 

[DreamyChick]

thanks.

 

[quest]

dreamychick. honestly, you should talk to wyldfire, she can play anyone. she'll give you heaps of great advice.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Yeah, let's just tell girls how to play guys, on a DON JUAN forum. I just have to ask, why the hell would she WANT to play him? She likes him and is already being outplayed in the first place.

 

[DreamyChick]

Well after much debating with myself I have decided that I will not contact him for 1-2 weeks. We've been communicating mostly over email through much of last week and I called a couple of times so I think I need to cut back and make him wonder for a change. I wanted to shoot for a month but I feel like he might think I am mad at him. It's been about 3 weeks since I have seen him face to face seeing as how I let him invite me to hang out. I refuse to ask him because his plans always change, and I hate getting disappointed. So I just don't put myself in that position.

Any of you boys have any commentary on my methods? Should I break down and ask him to hang out with me? Is 2 weeks enough, not necessary etc.

 

[Tkman]

#1 He is taking a girl with him to the car show that's why he wasn't answering question straight. We don't know if the girl is his GF or just a 'friend'

#2 "Then I asked him if he was going to miss me and he said the only thing he would miss about me was my southern accent "redneck" he calls it."

He's interested but he's in control and a DJ

#3 Email sucks ... face to face communication would be better.

#4 "Should I break down and ask him to hang out with me?"

Only ho3s do and he will treat you like one and his friends will see you as one. That's if you care of course ?

#5 Don't contact him for 10 days (email, phone, bla bla) and see what happens. If he does contact you then he is interested but if he doesn't then the obvious answer is no ! I find it impossible for guy not to contact a chick he is interested in for 10 days.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

I love it when people just ignore advice given to them....
What usually works for me when I FIRST meet a girl is I will call her first and then I will wait for her to call me back before I call her again. The "hard-to-get" type will usually wait a few days before they call me back, just to see if I give in within that time and fail their test of how desperate I am. I mention this because some aspects of the game can be applied to both men and women, particularly methods for making yourself more attractive by playing Mr. or Mrs. Busy or Unavailable.

It is obvious at this point HE is in control, not you, and while deep down inside that makes you more attracted, when you're dealing with a don juan, I think you need to up the game and take the control back. Since WHEN is calling a guy to hang out with him a "ho-e" thing to do? I don't understand. And since when would a guy who likes you reject every single one of your attempts to hook up with him? He can play all he wants, but at a certain point he is going to have to cut the crap and do something with you. It's like he has the pu-ssy waiting for him naked in his bedroom, but he won't fu-ck it. I hate to say it, but I'm beginning to suspect he is just not interested. But once again, do what you said about waiting a couple weeks, THEN give it one more go to try to arrange for a meeting somewhere, and if he still gives you bullshi-t, don't ever call him again because he's not worth it. I would do the exact same thing, only to a girl of course, hehe.

 

[DreamyChick]

He emailed me last night

Just checked my email. He is back from his trip. He emailed me a link of a website he wants me to check out, I almost replied because it's so natural, but I have to pull back.
Thanks for the advice. I have 2 more days before I hit a week so it should be easy to wait another week.

 

[NewMan]

You have verbal diarrea - and are grabbing on to every last word this guy has told you - like there is some hidden message in there.

In your conversations and emails - the ones you have quoted here - there is not one where he has given you any real information about how he feels - what I mean is there is no emotional content.

Yes, he's playing games with you - likes to see you squirm so to speak.

You on the other hand are the exact opposite.

I'd say he never went on this trip with a girl - and the reason he didn't tell you, was because he wanted you to think he was. If you were to get insecure and push the issue, he would have been able to tell you - no I'm going with my buddy XXX - strike 1 for you.

Your actions and words are to much.

You've done well - stop calling him for another week - actually wait for him to call you. I'd say replying to his emails is good - but you must not write 1000 words when 10 will do the job for you. Just be ambiguous, don't give specifics - and tell him your busy with friends.

 

[DreamyChick]

Originally posted by NewMan
You have verbal diarrea - and are grabbing on to every last word this guy has told you - like there is some hidden message in there.

In your conversations and emails - the ones you have quoted here - there is not one where he has given you any real information about how he feels - what I mean is there is no emotional content.

Yes, he's playing games with you - likes to see you squirm so to speak.

You on the other hand are the exact opposite.

I'd say he never went on this trip with a girl - and the reason he didn't tell you, was because he wanted you to think he was. If you were to get insecure and push the issue, he would have been able to tell you - no I'm going with my buddy XXX - strike 1 for you.

Your actions and words are to much.

You've done well - stop calling him for another week - actually wait for him to call you. I'd say replying to his emails is good - but you must not write 1000 words when 10 will do the job for you. Just be ambiguous, don't give specifics - and tell him your busy with friends.

Your comments amuse me. I agree with you mostly but disagree on a couple.

I did push the issue of the trip with him. I wouldn't allow him to change the subject without hey wait a minute answer me. I asked 4 times before I gave up. As far as us ever getting together it would really surprise me if that ever happened. We've been friends for 3 years, so his interest level is of no surprise shock to me. But yet, I am hooked and am trying to let go.However this being the case (friends only), I'd expect more honesty from him especially when he contradicts himself and says that all I have to do is just ask him.

Oh yeah why haven't I let go, simple because our friendship means so much to me. We've worked through some difficult issues this year, and I finally feel comfortable with where we are at. Meaning I feel more secure in what we have, and I understand him a lot better than I did even a year ago.

However though, I am mad at myself for getting jealous at the thought of a trip with a girl and for liking him so much. I guess even though I am comfortable with where we are at.

I feel like I still have to test him to see if he really cares about me and our friendship. Over the past 3 years we've had many conversations just where we were trying to understand where the other was coming from. Some were even like 4 hour long conversations. Some of his complaints included the fact that I never ask him to hang out and he always has to do that, and that I involve my friends too much when I have something that I should just talk to him about. I dont know how he feels now about me refusing to ask him if we could hang out though.

So that's really the reason behind my wanting to withdraw from him a couple of weeks.

 

[NewMan]

I did push the issue of the trip with him. I wouldn't allow him to change the subject without hey wait a minute answer me. I asked 4 times before I gave up

Yeah, but he knows that you'll not back up your words with actions. You will want to know and he will not tell you - so what do you do? accept it and keep the relationship going.

I really don't understand why you feel the way you do - it sounds confusing. On one hand your hooked and are trying to let go, then on the other hand your friendship means so much to you. On the other hand you don't hang out with him, yet your jealous of him with other women.

Hmm - you really are a woman.

as my dad would say, sh#t or get off the pot.

Most women I've been involved with have this very utopian idea - that we can all be friends and get on with our lives together - one happy family.

that's not reality. Sometimes you just got to let sh#t go.

 

[DreamyChick]

Very good observation. Aren't you glad you aren't a woman?

His email had a one line question so I followed up with a simple Yes as my reply. Consise enough for you? His reply was good. and that's just that.

 

[DreamyChick]

What do you mean I won't back up my words with actions? How am I supposed to prove I am serious?

 

[DreamyChick]

I have no will power. I lost.

 

[DreamyChick]

Ack...we just spent 2 hours treating gmail like instant messenger where he proceeded to bring up the past from 7 months ago. Issues that we had worked through and spent time talking about where I had apologized for what I did and he apologized for not handling the situation better. We worked throught it and I made the comment referencing it but not in a manner where I wanted drama. Anyway this started 20 rounds of questioning based on the past. And him expressing his feelings again to me and then asking if he owed me an apology for expressing himself and I said no we've already discussed this.

I sat dumbfounded as to why he was bringing it up again. Anyway he was like yeah I agree no point in revisiting the situation and I was like duh. so then I asked him to hang out Clarification please.

My email;

Wanna hang out sometime in the next year? LOL

His response:

yeah but I am not going to invite you to do anything ... until I am invited somewhere...

My Response:
Damn how did I know you were going to say that. Somewhere being like where give an example.

His
well I am always asking you to come over or do things.... so now it's your turn...

Me

Okay I am game for that, but does inviting you to do something at your place count?


Him

no.. that's called inviting yourself over...

Me
That should count shouldnt it? What if I invited you over here sometime? Would that count? Or what if we just went somewhere?

Him

first of all I wouldn't let you invite yourself over.. so that's out of the question....

but yeah you could invite me to your house or to go somewhere...

Me

LMAO I knew you would say that. Okay I gotcha.


Me
You know i dont think Ive invited you to do anything in over a year. I guess I suck huh?

Him

yep you suck pretty bad....

Me

So whos better me or you?

Him
it's not a competition...

Me

Well ive got to be better at something than you at least one thing you kick my ass in poker and pool.

 

[DreamyChick]

Okay help me come up with something to do with him.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Forget him. That has "no interest" written all over it. You are making it REALLY easy for him, asking him to hang out with you, inviting him to your house.... all just no-brainers for any half-witted dumbass to follow up on. Even a don juan would go ahead and make his move if you invited him over, I mean come on, think about the possibilities he would see in that. You are basically spreading your legs for him but he won't put it in. Now, it is true a don juan will hold off and try to make himself appear less easy, but not to this extent.

Even if he DID like you, the sad thing is, I bet your attraction for him would drop if he suddenly expressed his feelings for you and gave himself to you. His stories about mysteriously going places with people (girls) I believe to be 100% false. The guy probably didn't even go anywhere, let alone have girls with him. He was probably sitting in his house the whole time jacking off to his favorite porn flicks. He sucks at lieing from what I can see, because it is clear the whole time he is TRYING to fake this crap. You misinterpreted it as him playing the game on you but now that you have posted up that convo, I think he was doing it to try to make you lose interest. I understand you're a women, but surely you can pull some logic out of your ass to understand this one.

And yes, we're all very thankful we're not women, except when it comes to multiple orgasms, because...... that is a damn gift.

 

[DreamyChick]

Duh, I know he's not interested in me in a I want you kind of way. We've been friends for 3 years I am not that dense. But as I have been trying to tell several of you, we have a friendship which I know some of you think it's impossible to have between a man and a woman And yet we do. He's not trying to blow me off guys. If he was it would've happened a long time ago. Last year I went to his family's christmas party because he invited me to it. He made sure I was having a good time too.

I know him well enough that what you are saying is wrong. This post is not about me trying to guage his interest it's about me proving a point to you all. But yes I admit I like him and that confuses me because I also really like what we have.

I wanted to show you those conversations to show you that to a degree I can predict how he feels about things. As I said earlier his biggest complaint is that he always has to ask me to hang out because I always refuse to invite him to do something with me.


The only question I have is why is that a problem as long as we are spending time together?

And yes I know that he's not interested in me but he is interested in our friendship.

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
Forget him. That has "no interest" written all over it. You are making it REALLY easy for him, asking him to hang out with you, inviting him to your house.... all just no-brainers for any half-witted dumbass to follow up on. Even a don juan would go ahead and make his move if you invited him over, I mean come on, think about the possibilities he would see in that. You are basically spreading your legs for him but he won't put it in. Now, it is true a don juan will hold off and try to make himself appear less easy, but not to this extent.

Even if he DID like you, the sad thing is, I bet your attraction for him would drop if he suddenly expressed his feelings for you and gave himself to you. His stories about mysteriously going places with people (girls) I believe to be 100% false. The guy probably didn't even go anywhere, let alone have girls with him. He was probably sitting in his house the whole time jacking off to his favorite porn flicks. He sucks at lieing from what I can see, because it is clear the whole time he is TRYING to fake this crap. You misinterpreted it as him playing the game on you but now that you have posted up that convo, I think he was doing it to try to make you lose interest. I understand you're a women, but surely you can pull some logic out of your ass to understand this one.

And yes, we're all very thankful we're not women, except when it comes to multiple orgasms, because...... that is a damn gift.