is this acceptable behavior by gf?

[Jean Valjean]

You missed the point. I used the word "relationship" in my definition of cheating. Spinning plates is vastly different to being 'in a relationship' .

Guess the quality of women I know are so reluctant to put out that you have to tell them you are in a relationship or at least give the impression of having one before any sex takes place.

I know from my younger days that there are women that put out easily I just either don't meet them or I am not attracted to their type anymore.

 

[jophil28]

Guess the quality of women I know are so reluctant to put out that you have to tell them you are in a relationship or at least give the impression of having one before any sex takes place.

I know from my younger days that there are women that put out easily I just either don't meet them or I am not attracted to their type anymore.

IN over 30 years of dating and having many LTRs, I never had to "tell" a woman that she and I were "in a relationship" to get nookie.

One aspect of sex and dating that is never discussed here is a woman's gradually changing expectations of how males act over time.
When a guy is in his early twenties, sex is a readily available commodity, usually from the party girls. Even it you are a zitty goof, you will still get laid without much problem. AS woman age and enter their early thirties they seem to (rightly ) expect men to act like more mature men.
There are several guys here in their 30's who post prolifically and who have all manner of troubles with low quality women.
MY guess is that their own willingness to act in ways that are not befitting their age is a contributing factor in their problems.

 

[iqqi]

Rollo, you keep making the same posts over and over, in case you were not aware.

Anyhow. There is a difference between platonic male friends you had before the relationship, and ones you make while in a committed relationship. A woman shouldn't be open to any kind of new relationship with a male, whether it is friendship or more. That is my opinion.

 

[game.r]

Trust the gut!

 

[STR8UP]

AS woman age and enter their early thirties they seem to (rightly ) expect men to act like more mature men.
There are several guys here in their 30's who post prolifically and who have all manner of troubles with low quality women.
MY guess is that their own willingness to act in ways that are not befitting their age is a contributing factor in their problems.

And there you have it folks. A 52 year old man resorting to the same shaming tactics by women who are past their prime.

Women do not "mature" in the same sense that men do. They do not seek out a man who "acts his age". Matter of fact, they respond to men based upon exactly the same criteria that younger women do.

Perhaps I should dress a bit more "conservatively". Maybe get rid of the sports car. Take up golf as a regular hobby, perhaps? Maybe move out of downtown, get a place in the quiet suburbs?

So, in the world according to jophil, how exactly should a man "behave in a manner befitting of his age"?

I listen to that same tired crap from washed up 30-40 something cougars who want to date me.

"You have Peter Pan syndrome!"

"That's your problem....you are intimidated by a mature woman who has no desire to be submissive to your every whim".

"What's up with that HAT? That's something guys in their 20's wear".

Jophil, you are projecting EXACTLY the same attitude that these pissed off older women project when they realize they can't compete.

Maybe I should just "accept" that I am 37 years old and find someone close to my age to settle down with, because then maybe I wouldn't have such "problems" with women.

Yea, when hell freezes over.

 

[jophil28]

And there you have it folks. A 52 year old man resorting to the same shaming tactics by women who are past their prime.

Women do not "mature" in the same sense that men do. They do not seek out a man who "acts his age". Matter of fact, they respond to men based upon exactly the same criteria that younger women do.

Perhaps I should dress a bit more "conservatively". Maybe get rid of the sports car. Take up golf as a regular hobby, perhaps? Maybe move out of downtown, get a place in the quiet suburbs?

So, in the world according to jophil, how exactly should a man "behave in a manner befitting of his age"?

I listen to that same tired crap from washed up 30-40 something cougars who want to date me.

"You have Peter Pan syndrome!"

"That's your problem....you are intimidated by a mature woman who has no desire to be submissive to your every whim".

"What's up with that HAT? That's something guys in their 20's wear".

Jophil, you are projecting EXACTLY the same attitude that these pissed off older women project when they realize they can't compete.

Maybe I should just "accept" that I am 37 years old and find someone close to my age to settle down with, because then maybe I wouldn't have such "problems" with women.

Yea, when hell freezes over.

How much more of this hysterial nonsense are you planning on puking out here before you flit off and leave the forum?
Once AGAIN you completely missed my point, and one AGAIN you have distorted the essence of the debate to hammer away at an imaginary target of your own making.
I have to grudgingly acknowledge your bizarre creativity- nobody else here can divert a topic like you can. Congratulations on your dogged and relentless consistency ..after 7 years of baitchin , you are still the biggest baitch.

Sayonara.

 

[Zunder]

How much more of this hysterial nonsense are you planning on puking out here before you flit off and leave the forum?
Once AGAIN you completely missed my point, and one AGAIN you have distorted the essence of the debate to hammer away at an imaginary target of your own making.
I have to grudgingly acknowledge your bizarre creativity- nobody else here can divert a topic like you can. Congratulations on your dogged and relentless consistency ..after 7 years of baitchin , you are still the biggest baitch.

Sayonara.

Mate, you have a problem. Not untypical of your lot over there in the "West Island", you are one little smartarse aussie prat who thinks he is the A-Bomb on women, all with a touchy feely "moral" outlook.

Mate you make me wanna puke - or "chunder" as you sons of convicts like to call it with all the froth that spew forth on this forum.

You already had a crack at me today, in reality you didn't read my post properly.

And having read this latest drivel from you - I have had enough.
Your the type of bloke I used to beat up in school, who would then go tell the teacher.

This post may get me banned - so be it. I will still come on here and read Rollo's, Str8ups, and others posts.
If I want a laughing session - I will read yours.

By the way - what kind of a wimp nation bowls underarm in cricket? (Only Aussies and Kiwis will understand that one).

Get a life, old man.
Oh, I forgot -you do. Ball Room dancing. Meet lots of nice boys doing that?

 

[jophil28]

Mate, you have a problem. Not untypical of your lot over there in the "West Island", you are one little smartarse aussie prat who thinks he is the A-Bomb on women, all with a touchy feely "moral" outlook.

Mate you make me wanna puke - or "chunder" as you sons of convicts like to call it with all the froth that spew forth on this forum.

You already had a crack at me today, in reality you didn't read my post properly.

And having read this latest drivel from you - I have had enough.
Your the type of bloke I used to beat up in school, who would then go tell the teacher.

This post may get me banned - so be it. I will still come on here and read Rollo's, Str8ups, and others posts.
If I want a laughing session - I will read yours.

By the way - what kind of a wimp nation bowls underarm in cricket? (Only Aussies and Kiwis will understand that one).

Get a life, old man.
Oh, I forgot -you do. Ball Room dancing. Meet lots of nice boys doing that?

I guess that you are not a fan of mine ? Are you sure that you are not from Newfoundland ?

 

[STR8UP]

How much more of this hysterial nonsense are you planning on puking out here before you flit off and leave the forum?
Once AGAIN you completely missed my point, and one AGAIN you have distorted the essence of the debate to hammer away at an imaginary target of your own making.

I already told you and everyone else. When I hit 7000 posts I make my grand exit.

And please, enlighten me as to this "imaginary target", because even a casual reader of these boards knows that your post was directed squarely at me, and the non-AFC readers can clearly see how much it makes you sound like a past-your-prime woman.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Str8up, do you feign conviction by jumping down the throat of anyone who sais anything, because in your desperation you see everything as an attack on Str8up? I agree with most of everything you say when giving advice to someone or commenting on the ways of things, but you take the most random comments, twist them completely out of context, and then it turns into "Look at ME, all you guys are moral pvssies, Look at ME, I'm tough and independent, etc." You get so personal so fast. It's ironic that you would paint yourself as a cold, hard-bitten survivalist, when you're actually quite emotional, aren't you?

I say Jophil was saying that men should seek to mature for the betterment of OURSELVES, not women. Women don't have anything to do with that. As a guy in his 20s, I am qualified to say that men in my age group are, as a whole, bad at making money, even worse at keeping it, reckless wasters of time, and ego-driven to do all kinds of really stupid sh!t. I want to continually grow and mature so that I may have a better quality of life in the future, and to reap fruits from the failures (lessons) of the past.

No one (here on SS) thinks we should "mature" in the societal context of settling down with undesirable women, not banging 22 year olds anymore, trade your Corvette for a Windstar, etc. So quit trying to fight people who aren't trying to fight you, Str8up; you're BOTH right.

And just because Jophil isn't on the "Board of Biggest Douchebags" doesn't mean he's a Bible-thumping moralist. All good things in moderation.

 

[decades]

Is this another thread about Str8up? It's Amazing how that keeps happening.

 

[KontrollerX]

Aww c'mon guys? You're letting me down here! Where are all the chumps who're so ready to tell him how men and women can be perfectly good platonic friends now?

Hehehe. :rock:

"Should a woman who is 30 years old and in a serious relationship be spending a significant amount of time with another single guy"

No.

"even spending time alone with him."

No.

"Even if I am quite certain they are not cheating, is this behavior wrong?"

Yes.

"Keep in mind we are unable to see each other during the week, so she does like companionship."

She can find that in her girl friends as can any other woman.

The only reason women hang out with other guys is either the guy is gay and she finds his gayness amusing and likes his style sensibilities or the guy is a potential replacement for you and she will either fvck him in the future or fvck him behind your back without telling you having her cake and eating it too.

Plus there's that extra added benefit of dropping either of you in favor of the other depending on who is more fun.

 

[The Muscle Guy]

Instead of asking this silly question, you should be looking for other women.

But you won't and I predict within a month or two you will be posting about how your gf dumped you...

 

[Trader]

To give a little background: been w/ my gf for over 1.5 yrs, we live about an hour apart so we usually only see each other on weekends. We see each other on most weekends, and still have an active sex life (though it may be a little less often than we had in the first yr).

I'm not the jealous type, but it does bother me that she is spending a significant amount of time with somebody in one of her community groups, who is a single guy. She is upfront about when they spend time together. Often it consists of hanging out at a park or in a bar, and he'll even make dinner for her. I am quite certain it goes no further than that (we'll often speak on the phone on these same nights for an extended period after she has gone to her home). She also mentions his name often in our conversations.

My question is: Should a woman who is 30 years old and in a serious relationship be spending a significant amount of time with another single guy, and even spending time alone with him. Even if I am quite certain they are not cheating, is this behavior wrong? Keep in mind we are unable to see each other during the week, so she does like companionship.

Honestly, I think you know what's REALLY going on here, and you yourself already know what to do, given everything you've learned. The only question is, do you have the balls to do it?

 

[STR8UP]

I say Jophil was saying that men should seek to mature for the betterment of OURSELVES, not women.

Oh....I get it.....this has nothing to do with cars or clothes, it goes right back to believing in quality women and "qualify, qualify, QUALIFY" mantra.

I see now. I apologize. It wasn't shaming. It was a jab at my philosophy. Because obviously you aren't "grown up" until you realize that there are lots of nice, pretty, traditional girls. You just have to date a couple hundred of them to find one!

Either way it was directed towards me, and it comes from someone who not only doesn't know me, but also from someone who shares a belief system that at best doesn't do men any favors, at worst can place them squarely in the path of a runaway train.

No one (here on SS) thinks we should "mature" in the societal context of settling down with undesirable women, not banging 22 year olds anymore, trade your Corvette for a Windstar, etc.

You would be surprised.

 

[Aenigma]

Str8up I think quality women do exist- they're the ones who are smart enough to realize when a quality man steps up to the plate and know that its time to play their cards right.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

"Quality Woman" - Any woman who'll bang you regularly.

"Non-Quality Woman" - Any woman who wont bang you, or was banging you but wont now.

 

[ketostix]

I completely and totally agree with you, and I definitely think her behavior is unacceptable.
My question is: How does this square with the idea that once you're in the friend zone, you can't get out? You're saying he's either gay or a possible fvck. What if he's in the friend zone?

I think the simple answer is, if she is looking to fvck you in the future then you were never in the friend zone.

Generally, the window of opportunity closes aftr a short while, but in some situations it can be left simmering for it to happen in a later date.

 

[guru1000]

You just have to date a couple hundred of them to find one!

One date per year* 100 years= Compatible Contender

I can certainly empathize with your dilemma.

 

[Nutz]

To give a little background: been w/ my gf for over 1.5 yrs, we live about an hour apart so we usually only see each other on weekends. We see each other on most weekends, and still have an active sex life (though it may be a little less often than we had in the first yr).

I'm not the jealous type, but it does bother me that she is spending a significant amount of time with somebody in one of her community groups, who is a single guy. She is upfront about when they spend time together. Often it consists of hanging out at a park or in a bar, and he'll even make dinner for her. I am quite certain it goes no further than that (we'll often speak on the phone on these same nights for an extended period after she has gone to her home). She also mentions his name often in our conversations.

My question is: Should a woman who is 30 years old and in a serious relationship be spending a significant amount of time with another single guy, and even spending time alone with him. Even if I am quite certain they are not cheating, is this behavior wrong? Keep in mind we are unable to see each other during the week, so she does like companionship.

Red flags at a minimum. I'd say it's unacceptable. If the situation were reversed you know as well as I do she'd be jealous and put a stop to it. You have every right to do the same in my book.