Is there interest or not?

[MikeAndIke]

What's up guys,

I'm writing this thread to see if anyone can shed light on a particular situation I am in with a girl. I will try to be as descriptive as possible so I can get good feedback from you guys. My apologies if the post is a little long.

I work at a huge store with about 400 employees. I am know to almost all the employees and managers, especially to most of the girls. But I am attracted to the hottest girl at the store. Mostly every guy wants to bag her, but as far as I know every single one has been unsuccessful. She is beautiful, but she is stuck-up. She gives off that vibe that you have to be a super playboy in order to bag (I'm sure you guys know the type of girl I am talking about). She hangs out with a group of attractive girls that share her attitude of being the hottest girls in the store. Although I never displayed it, I was intimidated by her and her group of friends. That didn't stop me from working my way into her circle, eventually becoming known to her.

We work in different departments, but I've managed to make my presence felt. Our interactions were few and far between, but I've managed to somehow become her "friend". At times we ride the subway together and chat and laugh. I always try to knock her off her high horse by talking to her as if she is just some regular chick and like I've known her for a while. I tend to make fun of her sometimes, but just between us and in good heart (neg-ing?).

I managed to get her number one day after a high-point during our interaction by handing her my phone and instructing her to put her number in it. To my surprise she typed in her number happily. Texting has not really been as great as I thought it would be. She texts as if there is no interest. Answers are short and far between. I don't text her a lot. as I prefer to call. Conversations were great, but have declined in terms of quality.

So here is the deal. When we take the train together, she is a totally different person than when we are at the store. She ignores me at times at the store, but I understand why. No one wants to sh1t where they eat. She has a rep to keep up and the attention of guys to maintain. So she can't be seen giving me crazy play. I'm cool with that. When we take the train together, she is playful and talkative, loves touching me, holds my hand, plays around and laughs, in essence shows signs of interest. But when I call or text, I get the uninterested side. I am beginning to question whether or not there is any interest at all.

The moves that I have made in order to get her to hang out with me outside of work have failed. I've invited her out twice, and both times she has flaked. The first one my have been a miscommunication issue, but the most recent one has me questioning this entire "thing".

As we were chatting alone on the subway one day, I seriously told her that I would like for us to hang out outside of our current environment (work and subway ride). I wanted to see if the interest was there. She told me when she was available and left it up to me. I quickly told her that I had something planned for us on saturday, and she agreed, only to quickly retract saying that she already had plans for with one of our mutual acquaintances (more hers than mine). I quickly shot back, saying that Friday was our day. She said that she gets out at 4 PM from work that day and that it "could happen". I took what I could and said that I would call her.

Fast forward to Thursday, the night before our "outing". I calling her to confirm our "date". She picked up after the 3rd ring. I greeted her and exchanged a few words. She cut me off and said that she would call me back soon, but never did. I let it slide. Friday rolls along and at about 6 PM, I texted her and asked if we were still hanging out that night. I am still waiting for that response. At about 8 PM, I made a final attempt at communication by dialing her up, but I never got a response.

SOOOOOO,what do you think guys? Is there interest or not? What could I have done differently? I feel like I have done something wrong because I have not been able to see her outside of work although I feel there is some interest there. Maybe I haven't been able to stand out from all of my other competitors. Believe me when I tell you, I am not a thirstbucket either. I don't frequently call or text her, and we don't see each other at work all the time. When we do see each other, I don't hover around her. I play it smooth. I may be new to the game, but I know fundamentals. The only thing is that this girl has me confused. Am I overanalyzing? Is there something here or not? What can be done to "remedy" the situation? If I can't completely bag her, I would like to remain in her circle, seeing as she has potential plates as friends.Whats the prognosis? Thanks in advance guys. Much respect to all of you guys.

 

[NewAndImproved]

With all due respect, I don't fully believe you when you say you're not a "thirstbucket" (heh) or have played it completely smooth. The teasing her and negging her is good, but I have a suspicion that ever since you got the number you've become increasingly needy, culminating with her flaking out on your dates.

For example, her saying stuff like "it could happen" to a date and your NOT ONLY ACCEPTING THAT but even more so continuing to jump through her hoops by texting and then calling to confirm.

I'll let someone else take the rest but to me she don't sound interested at all.

 

[ArcBound]

Nope

 

[asa_don]

She tells you a date "could happen"

Cuts you off.....never calls you back....doesn't answer your calls

that is your answer

why make a long thread about it? LOL

 

[bugsy]

This girl is a queen bee, she is the top of the food chain. She is hot and she knows it, she has a whole army of admirers and servants that are willing to do whatever she likes them to do. this is a hard target dude.

I would not spent too much time chasing after her, on the internet forums they will tell you to be very aggressive to these type of woman. Make her chase after you! i know its easy said then done hehe been there and got ****ed lol but its good for the excercise. treat her as your experiment and don;t give a **** about her, start hooking up with one of her best friends at the store, and keep her at a distance. let her feel the same way as what she did to you. keep us posted about what you did and what the outcome was.
we'll eventually crack these *****es secret codes

 

[Mike32ct]

Whenever I read a "Is she interested?" thread, I look for two things...

1. Is she willing to meet up with the guy, ie go on dates? Or does she flake?

2. If she passes #1, does she let the guy escalate within a reasonable amount of time? Or do you stuck at light makeouts only (like the chicken wings girl I dated lol)?

Anyway, it's clear that she hasn't passed #1. So I vote "low interest."

Sorry man. I would find another target.

However I do give you props for going after the hottest one.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

She is beautiful, but she is stuck-up. She gives off that vibe that you have to be a super playboy in order to bag (I'm sure you guys know the type of girl I am talking about). She hangs out with a group of attractive girls that share her attitude of being the hottest girls in the store.

Why would you want to hang out with someone like that ?

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

We work in different departments, but I've managed to make my presence felt. Our interactions were few and far between, but I've managed to somehow become her "friend".

If you start off your interactions with her by giving her the vibe that you are her friend you are the one confusing her.

 

[Purefilth]

TL; DR

Just as a point of reference to everyone. If you are so unsure of interest that you have to write this much on the internet - she isn't interested.

Interested girls don't leave you confused. They accept plans and dates, they out out and you'll never feel the need to ask a bunch of strangers whether or not they think she gives a flying fvck about you.

Reference point - if you feel the need to ask. She doesn't care. Spin more plates.

 

[LoveBandit]

hello to the forum. new member, longtime lurker.

many great ideas from the members, and always fun to read.

i felt the need to join, as i have experienced almost the same situation in work as mike mentions.



mine has gone on for the last few years, as i have kept it on the back burner while dating another girl,
just to make work more interesting.
yes it is work, but put two people in the same environment long enough, and a magnetic dynamic happens.
sexual tension mixed with endless desire seems to be an element of tantra. ride this wave for while and it blows your mind.
it may happen, it may not happen. this may be the best part.

i admit, i am completley infatuated with this girl HB10, as it seems she is with me also.
we have never defined our relationship as friends, or lovers.
i noticed she orbits me where ever i go in the building for a few years now,
but i am not allowed in her little circle, and she rarely talks or looks if her friends are around.

now that i am finally single, she found out and came right out and asked me.
she knew i was attached for a while.
when i told her yes, the next day it was serious kino to the max, initiated by her.
i never asked about her, as i imagine there is someone else, which i suspect in mike's situation.

she even asked and suggested getting together on various occasions, (which i didn't even acknowledge).
i personally felt she would definitley flake out, because we haven't relaxed into normal conversation yet,
or again, there may be someone else in the picture.
the sexual tension is very, very high. the convo is nerve racking.
mike's convo may have been easier, he may need to ramp up the tension.

alot of push pull going on, one day she is cold with N/C, next day staring, orbiting,
and sometimes even holding hands (funny how touch works, but talk is frightening).
then the ever predictable cold shoulder the next day. rinse and repeat.

i don't think she will allow mike completley into her social circle, as she has him singled out for a reason.
from what i found out at work with my own spies, HB10 may be dating someone and i think she doesn't want to harm that.
but thoughts are there, and she doesn't want to display this in front of her friends.
when immediate friends are not around, she lets loose.

her best friend HB9 who seems very annoyed that i possess the tools to steal her girlfriend away
(maybe selective girl talk going on here),
even tried to c_ck block me - (from what i see, without mentioning it to HB10) -
by inviting me to a certain location for obvious hookup -
(HB9 is hooked up but probably willing to sacrifice herself and throw her girlfriend underneath an 18 wheeler!).
when i rejected her politley, she became upset, and still is - almost to the point of tears.

now that the best friend is out of the way, the main target is crumbling.
HB10 actually goes to 'my' best friend in work, for info on me.
i pull away more, she follows me around even more, kino working great with moderation,
she even walked up, hugged and kissed me in front of everyone recently.
in the following days, i pull away more.

i am now thinking of trying some incomplete tasks, tried it in the past with her and drove her crazy
(forget the name of this, but some explosive stuff).
she seems to be attracted to lots of puzzles, challenge and game.
i suggest that mike try this, as it will open up a new dimension.
this should bypass all of her walls, and have her crumbling even more.
though if i find out she has a current relationship, i will just walk away as i don't wish to harm that.

throughout it all, i try to always remind myself that it is at work (i do forget sometimes, attraction is powerful),
so i try to treat it as fun game and with kid gloves.
not in a rush for her or any other spinning plate.
at work it may take a while, but let us know your progress mike, and best of luck.
try to ride the wave out, and direct it somewhere good.

 

[YAboi]

she's not keen but u should just be cool with her and don't stress not getting the tang. There are plenty more fish in da sea. just shoot da sh1t and get ur game up in the process thru ur interaction with her. get ur game up by no longer gaming her but just talking and chilling and learning all about her and what drives her and makes her tick. stop using pua tactics and relaaaaaxxxx its all a.o.k. Relaxation will transcend ur aura to a whole new level.

 

[MikeAndIke]

She tells you a date "could happen"

Cuts you off.....never calls you back....doesn't answer your calls

that is your answer

why make a long thread about it? LOL

Just needed to lay out all of the details so everyone can understand the situation.

 

[MikeAndIke]

Whenever I read a "Is she interested?" thread, I look for two things...

1. Is she willing to meet up with the guy, ie go on dates? Or does she flake?

2. If she passes #1, does she let the guy escalate within a reasonable amount of time? Or do you stuck at light makeouts only (like the chicken wings girl I dated lol)?

Anyway, it's clear that she hasn't passed #1. So I vote "low interest."

Sorry man. I would find another target.

However I do give you props for going after the hottest one.

I agree: Low Interest. Good looks on the props

 

[MikeAndIke]

she's not keen but u should just be cool with her and don't stress not getting the tang. There are plenty more fish in da sea. just shoot da sh1t and get ur game up in the process thru ur interaction with her. get ur game up by no longer gaming her but just talking and chilling and learning all about her and what drives her and makes her tick. stop using pua tactics and relaaaaaxxxx its all a.o.k. Relaxation will transcend ur aura to a whole new level.

Exactly what I was thinking. Thanks man. That's a great take on the situation.

 

[MikeAndIke]

This is what I think.

It's pointless to analyze and try to get other guys to "confirm" if she's interested. You're doing some great things with her but she's not escalating the bond.

If it were me, i would "go cold" on her for a few weeks. No more texting, flirting, riding the subway, etc. Leave her be. Then reach out via text in 2 weeks, on a Wednesday, and get right to the point. "Hi. Been thinking about about you. Wanna get together this Friday night for a drink at The Rusty Nail on 3rd Street at 8?"

See where this gets you.

Make her escalate or make her go away. You're somewhere in between right now and that's where women feel most comfortable making "guy friends."

You're right. I feel like I'm doing a lot and receiving little in return. Will definitely take your advice. Thanks.

 

[MikeAndIke]

TL; DR

Just as a point of reference to everyone. If you are so unsure of interest that you have to write this much on the internet - she isn't interested.

Interested girls don't leave you confused. They accept plans and dates, they out out and you'll never feel the need to ask a bunch of strangers whether or not they think she gives a flying fvck about you.

Reference point - if you feel the need to ask. She doesn't care. Spin more plates.

Thanks. I will continue the journey and tally this to the experience column.

 

[MikeAndIke]

hello to the forum. new member, longtime lurker.

many great ideas from the members, and always fun to read.

i felt the need to join, as i have experienced almost the same situation in work as mike mentions.



mine has gone on for the last few years, as i have kept it on the back burner while dating another girl,
just to make work more interesting.
yes it is work, but put two people in the same environment long enough, and a magnetic dynamic happens.
sexual tension mixed with endless desire seems to be an element of tantra. ride this wave for while and it blows your mind.
it may happen, it may not happen. this may be the best part.

i admit, i am completley infatuated with this girl HB10, as it seems she is with me also.
we have never defined our relationship as friends, or lovers.
i noticed she orbits me where ever i go in the building for a few years now,
but i am not allowed in her little circle, and she rarely talks or looks if her friends are around.

now that i am finally single, she found out and came right out and asked me.
she knew i was attached for a while.
when i told her yes, the next day it was serious kino to the max, initiated by her.
i never asked about her, as i imagine there is someone else, which i suspect in mike's situation.

she even asked and suggested getting together on various occasions, (which i didn't even acknowledge).
i personally felt she would definitley flake out, because we haven't relaxed into normal conversation yet,
or again, there may be someone else in the picture.
the sexual tension is very, very high. the convo is nerve racking.
mike's convo may have been easier, he may need to ramp up the tension.

alot of push pull going on, one day she is cold with N/C, next day staring, orbiting,
and sometimes even holding hands (funny how touch works, but talk is frightening).
then the ever predictable cold shoulder the next day. rinse and repeat.

i don't think she will allow mike completley into her social circle, as she has him singled out for a reason.
from what i found out at work with my own spies, HB10 may be dating someone and i think she doesn't want to harm that.
but thoughts are there, and she doesn't want to display this in front of her friends.
when immediate friends are not around, she lets loose.

her best friend HB9 who seems very annoyed that i possess the tools to steal her girlfriend away
(maybe selective girl talk going on here),
even tried to c_ck block me - (from what i see, without mentioning it to HB10) -
by inviting me to a certain location for obvious hookup -
(HB9 is hooked up but probably willing to sacrifice herself and throw her girlfriend underneath an 18 wheeler!).
when i rejected her politley, she became upset, and still is - almost to the point of tears.

now that the best friend is out of the way, the main target is crumbling.
HB10 actually goes to 'my' best friend in work, for info on me.
i pull away more, she follows me around even more, kino working great with moderation,
she even walked up, hugged and kissed me in front of everyone recently.
in the following days, i pull away more.

i am now thinking of trying some incomplete tasks, tried it in the past with her and drove her crazy
(forget the name of this, but some explosive stuff).
she seems to be attracted to lots of puzzles, challenge and game.
i suggest that mike try this, as it will open up a new dimension.
this should bypass all of her walls, and have her crumbling even more.
though if i find out she has a current relationship, i will just walk away as i don't wish to harm that.

throughout it all, i try to always remind myself that it is at work (i do forget sometimes, attraction is powerful),
so i try to treat it as fun game and with kid gloves.
not in a rush for her or any other spinning plate.
at work it may take a while, but let us know your progress mike, and best of luck.
try to ride the wave out, and direct it somewhere good.

Wow. Great story. I do see some parallels to my situation. Lets see where it goes. I'll take it day by day, see what happens. Thanks for the advice and welcome to the community. Look forward to some of your posts.

 

[MikeAndIke]

Thanks to all. Your advice has shed new light on the situation. Going forward, I will consider some of the things said and will take some sort of course of action based on those considerations. For now, I'll just lay low, say hello, and keep it moving.

 

[Jay Dee]

Go for the next hottest one there - she might become more interested as a result of the competition, or not - don't care too much either way. Hell you should be chatting most gals there anyway as it'll improve your social standing.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

I managed to get her number one day after a high-point during our interaction by handing her my phone and instructing her to put her number in it. To my surprise she typed in her number happily. Texting has not really been as great as I thought it would be. She texts as if there is no interest. Answers are short and far between. I don't text her a lot. as I prefer to call. Conversations were great, but have declined in terms of quality.

All she's doing is baiting you and hooking you in. She has absolutely no interest in you that's why her texts have no emotional content and are short and lack quality. A woman who's interested in you will keep up the conversation and will always give you hooks to talk about the next thing.