Is the world upside down?

BaronOfHair

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You are not a healthy person. Every post that challenges you in the slightest is seen as a threat and disregarded - even when those responses are the ones that will help you grow.

You want to exist as a victim in an echo chamber with other victims confirming your worldview that the men who supposedly bully and hate you are only doing so because you are growing above them - yet you're the one here with the dating problems.

You have never described what you MIGHT be doing that offends these people, nor do you describe HOW they're bullying you; one of your posts was about how a gym employee was giving you a tour and "constantly trying to make you look and feel bad" - this is not real, a person like this would be fired. It is in their best interest to show you the positives of their facility so they can get you to sign on.

@AmsterdamAssassin to my knowledge (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong) provides counseling/therapy services, and you just called him a bully for asking you to self-reflect. If that is the standard for all these men "bullying" you, then no wonder you deem so many others as "enemies".

You are a toxic person and a perpetual victim. You cannot be helped because constructive criticism is discarded in favor of validation of your current situation.
MGTOW and MRAs have instilled in many men a thoroughly poisonous mindset. The likes of which teaches it's True Believers to perceive any and all encouragement to help themselves in very basic ways as "blaming the victim"
 
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I see that many of you guys think to have "THE ANSWER", and probably you interpret every guy problematic with the same tool: I think tha twhat at the beginning should be a forum to help guys, it became probably a a den of people who believe they have a superior truth and throw the harsh reality in the face of the poor unaware kids. This harsh reality is always that: either it's all your fantasy; you have mental problems; you don't understand anything about life while I do. A forum to boost the ego of a few narcissistic men who understand everything about life, but who have few tools to interpret reality.
 
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yea, this is the way it is sometimes. zekko gave you the answer. what to do about it is what you probably want to ask.

some suggest its in your mind only, while at the same time it can actually happen like you tell. notice how several circle around you to "bully" you even in an online forum....

what you never can know is what is in the mind of them. it could be evil and it also can be them trying to be wise to help you, or they just human like you and have own issues...

regardless the solution is for you and only you to do. if you don't have any other solution do this:

1. lift heavy.
2. join a martial arts gym(boxing, bjj, mma) and force yourself to do it until its fun for you.
3. take a couple of psychology classes. if your budget is small coursera.org has some free ones that are decent good and online.

do these thing and 99% chance you will have a different viewpoint in the future and more self confidence. if you want to do these things and don't know how or how to start probably the men in this forum will suggest how if you ask.
There is some truth in what you said
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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There is some truth in what you said
And a lot of confirmation bias as well.

I see that many of you guys think to have "THE ANSWER", and probably you interpret every guy problematic with the same tool: I think tha twhat at the beginning should be a forum to help guys, it became probably a a den of people who believe they have a superior truth and throw the harsh reality in the face of the poor unaware kids. This harsh reality is always that: either it's all your fantasy; you have mental problems; you don't understand anything about life while I do. A forum to boost the ego of a few narcissistic men who understand everything about life, but who have few tools to interpret reality.
You don't get the answer you wanted. So the people who gave you the 'wrong' answer are all against you. Like the bullies. No, not like the bullies, they are the bullies.

You were offended by me questioning how much of the bullying you experience is real and how much is imaginary, because you think that I think that it's all imaginary while to you none of it is imaginary.
However, all our perspectives are subjective interpretations, and in my experience with PTSD patients, I know that most of their anxieties are imaginary to the point where they cause a disorder. However, everyone is biased and liable to get a disorder if their bias overwhelms their reasoning.

If someone has PTSD from being bullied in high school, they will enter into a new grouping situation (like their new office job where they don't know any of their colleagues) with the negative mindset that (since every group they tried to be a part of they were ostracised) these people will ostracise them. So they expect to be ostracised again and will negatively approach social situations ("these people are only pretending to be nice while planning to bully and ostracise me") and their negativity will turn people off, so people will start avoiding them and once again their bias is confirmed. Self-fulfilling prophecy.
 
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And a lot of confirmation bias as well.


You don't get the answer you wanted. So the people who gave you the 'wrong' answer are all against you. Like the bullies. No, not like the bullies, they are the bullies.

You were offended by me questioning how much of the bullying you experience is real and how much is imaginary, because you think that I think that it's all imaginary while to you none of it is imaginary.
However, all our perspectives are subjective interpretations, and in my experience with PTSD patients, I know that most of their anxieties are imaginary to the point where they cause a disorder. However, everyone is biased and liable to get a disorder if their bias overwhelms their reasoning.

If someone has PTSD from being bullied in high school, they will enter into a new grouping situation (like their new office job where they don't know any of their colleagues) with the negative mindset that (since every group they tried to be a part of they were ostracised) these people will ostracise them. So they expect to be ostracised again and will negatively approach social situations ("these people are only pretending to be nice while planning to bully and ostracise me") and their negativity will turn people off, so people will start avoiding them and once again their bias is confirmed. Self-fulfilling prophecy.
there is some truth even here, but there is some also in mine I would say
 
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I thanks you all to make me realize that I had some BIAS. Yes, with my analist did some work, and we arivved to the point basically you described. Thank and sorry for my aggressivness
 

Gamisch

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This is the men's locker room. Overhere we give each other tough love , uncut and raw truthbombs. You sound like an annoying teenage girl having a period.

I can't imagine any p00sy getting wet from this behaviour. You better be looking like prime Leo if you wanna get away with this...
 
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Like I said, there is also some truth in what I said. I had some bias, but I am not sure you guys are healtier nor I don't think you really help people by dismounting everything they say. But I can only change myself. I thank those guys who make me realize some of my BIAS and my own mistakes. But I can also try to make realize that the way to speak in this forum is so mean, with the purpose to "destroy" other people ideas/toughts/experiences with this "over the top" masculinity and this mean language. There is really no point in doing so, if not the purpose to be accepted by a community who behave in this way. Over the top masculinity is just bull**** for insecure men who are sccared to be themself. To be themself a lot of people (mainly men) get triggered and become aggressive. But anyway I'll just be gratefull for the answers which manke me grow, and for the rest, for all the bull**** tought mean masculinity stuff, that is just a mask to be accepted by other men, so, insecurity.

Masculinity in my opinion is nothing else than awareness, self and outside awareness. And the core of self confidence is to accept your self and love yourself. When you are able to love yourself, by being kind and caring with you own toughts, you basically loose any need for the outcome, because the love you look for is in your own experience, and no more relegated to someone else.

When you are attached to the outcome, to the need that somebody else have to love or accept you to make you feel happy, that is slavery. So I would say that the need to be accepted by a larger group of men, by being mean and tought, is only a need to be accepted by others, so basically you are slave of other people opinion. This is not "love and peace" bull**** as some of you surelly would like to read this post, but is pure psicology, is science. We are social creature, human being. We need social connections, but if the main connection, the one we have with our self, is "mean,tought,sever" we just will project that same behavior to other people.

What happen when this bad relationship with ourself is also made up just for the purpose to being accepted by others? The result is just that you become a miserable person accepted by other miserabel people. Being sad with other sad people. This maybe can work with the majority of the people, but not for me. I prefer genuine relationship and I'll just avoid the "strict but fair" miserable relationship. In the end, we all do what works for ourself. There isn't only one way. Is a choise. I choose not to conform, I choose me
 
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