is the ganji game emotional abuse?

[seabreeze]

I wonder about this ganji game thing. It seems like a very hurtful thing to do to a girl. I wonder too if it's been done to me before by some of my so-called guy friends who disappeared on me for one reason or another.

I'm not trying to criticize its purposefulness, but I do wonder if the guys who use it feel a little guilty afterwards for hurting their female friend.

Do I have the wrong impression of it?
SB

 

[DJDamage]

You never know if a guy playing ganji game or not. Its up to you to decide your course of action.

I doubt many guys know about the ganji games or have time for it, most likely their life got buzy and they don't have time for you.

I'm not trying to criticize its purposefulness, but I do wonder if the guys who use it feel a little guilty afterwards for hurting their female friend

what about the guy who is feeling hurt because you rejected him and called him "a friend?" - Just like you decided whats good for you, its up to a guy to decide if to stay in a platonic relationship with you or walk away. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Friendship between guys and girls often gets messed up because the sex gets in the way.

 

[seabreeze]

Hey DJD,

You make some very good points. It just seems like some guys are very mean about it with their female friends. With me, i call my guy friends "friend" just like they call me friend. Some of them have girlfriends and don't give any indication that they want to be more than friends. Then, wham! They disappear or just act funny all of a sudden. it's strange behavior to me. Then they expect you to be able to read their mind and realize they want more or wanted more all along. trust me, though, i know women do strange things too!
SB

 

[Kidd]

I think its pretty retarded to use ganji on a friend, in most cases.

I use it on chicks at times, but when I do, I dont think to myself "Ok its time to use Ganji Games on HB 7.6345 for two and a half weeks", I simply stop giving a crap, and then bam I get a call. And no, I would not feel guilty for doing it.

Then again if some very strange **** happends and I "ganji" a friend, it will, for whatever reason, be simply me not giving a crap.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by DJDamage
You never know if a guy playing ganji game or not. Its up to you to decide your course of action.

I doubt many guys know about the ganji games or have time for it, most likely their life got buzy and they don't have time for you.

what about the guy who is feeling hurt because you rejected him and called him "a friend?" - Just like you decided whats good for you, its up to a guy to decide if to stay in a platonic relationship with you or walk away. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Friendship between guys and girls often gets messed up because the sex gets in the way.

Originally posted by Kidd
I think its pretty retarded to use ganji on a friend, in most cases.

I use it on chicks at times, but when I do, I dont think to myself "Ok its time to use Ganji Games on HB 7.6345 for two and a half weeks", I simply stop giving a crap, and then bam I get a call. And no, I would not feel guilty for doing it.

Then again if some very strange **** happends and I "ganji" a friend, it will, for whatever reason, be simply me not giving a crap.

Both points are correct. This "gangi" is just a name for "I´m busy with my life and you´re not my priority now". Simply as that.

If your friends disappear from you, maybe they´re not so interested in your friendship, who knows? I have a friend that we spend months without contact but it´s normal among us. It really depends on the person you´re friends with!

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

girls do exactly the same kind of thing to us, girls are much worse to us then we are to them, and you know whats worse, instead of acepting it they pretend girsl are perfect and guys are unfair on them.

I have got so much crap from girls for...get this.....because i didnt fancy 1 of there freinds, im suddenly stuck up and big headed.

Do guys ever treat girls like this, NO, girls can treat us so bad for doing nothing wrong, but if we call 1 of then ugly theres an up roar, you are suddnely the worst guy in the worlg, but if a girl calls you ugly they expect you to just take it in your stride.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

and 1 other thing....if we where found out to be on ossuave by a girl, it could fcuk up our whole life with girls because suddenly your not attractive your a freak for looking at it, but the reason there is no decent website like this for girls is because they dont need one, they read all those magazines which are the equivilent of sosuave, but that is perfectly fine for them to do so isnt it.

 

[Jariel]

Well personally I'd be happy if I never had to play any games whatsoever, if women would accept me for who I am and would make their feelings and wishes clear to me in plain English. If I'm rejected or dumped, I'd like to know why and be saved the insult of those patronising LJBF speeches. Then if a woman says she wants to be friends, I want to be friends, I don't want to be ignored or used as a lapdog.

If guys were granted this, then we'd never have reason to play games.

 

[GlutusMaximus86]

Originally posted by Jariel
Well personally I'd be happy if I never had to play any games whatsoever, if women would accept me for who I am and would make their feelings and wishes clear to me in plain English. If I'm rejected or dumped, I'd like to know why and be saved the insult of those patronising LJBF speeches. Then if a woman says she wants to be friends, I want to be friends, I don't want to be ignored or used as a lapdog.

If guys were granted this, then we'd never have reason to play games.

So very true. BTW, maybe it's because of where I live but, what is the ganji game, I've never heard of it? Is it just where a friend of yours of the opposite gender dissapears all of a sudden bc they have a crush on you?

 

[Omega]

Everytime I hear of htis it reminds me of ganja.

Anyways, you guys gotta stop thinking in the form of techniques and just ****ing get out in the field. You spend so much time analyzing that you never have any time to actualyl do anything.

Seabreeze, suck it up. If what your "friend" did is emotional abuse, then I'm taking every girl I have ever known to court.

 

[jonny football hero]

^Agreed^

Just go out, and let what happens, happen. So you fail. big deal. You know what to do better next time.

I've said it before, i'll say it again

s'all about experience , techniques mean bull****, unless you know the game.

 

[seabreeze]

Hey Fellas,

Frankly, I'm appalled at the way women have treated some of you guys! I think it's a disgrace for anyone to resort to ganji with someone they have feelings for. It becomes abusive, I think, when you know that the person has no idea why you are ignoring them. It is also a terrible thing to do to someone just because you want them in a romantic way and they may or may not want you. I think communicatin and acceptance is the best way to deal with someone in this type of situation, not ganji.

Personally, I could never see myself doing this to another human being.
SB

 

[Fenderules]

personally if she flaked out on me then i dont give a **** and im gonna Gandji her ass cause im sick of these stupid games. If your gonna hang out with me then do it! otherwise screw off.

Im doing it to one girl right now. She initially had high interest in me and i went afc on her and i just decided to become good friends instead cause her friend was more cute. Well she even started talking to me less as a friend some im like "im taking this abuse and im just not gonna talk to her anymore, if she trurly wants to talk to me then she cant otherwise she can get outta my life" when i was afc i would get all upset but now that i consider myself "reborn" i dont care. I'v got a new attitute and love it!

 

[ScrewIt]

the thing with ganji is when you're in a friendship with a girl, you both hang out and stuff. yet she doesnt give you any indications that she likes you or wants to be more than a friend. Yet in her little damn mind, she's hoping for you to make a move.

yet on your side, you're not even sure whether she looks at you like a friend or wants more. And since miscommunication or other factors, you end up not know what the other wants.

This girl in the past i thought she wanted to be friends. After awhile of hanging out and stuff, i just cut contact (since the semester ended and all and we dont have class no more)
then out of the blue school starts and she calls, and asks me why i dont call and yet again asks me for favors. screw her i said no. several times i'd see her in the comp lab, she'd look at me and want to talk yet it didnt matter to me so i ignored her as if she was invisible and went about my own business.
zoom 1 year later, i still see her in the school and she's still as fascinated to see me as usual. i still talk to her every now and then if i see her in school. altho i feel nothing for her now, i never did know out if she wanted in the past or wants (now) to be friends or more.

i guess u could say looking back at it, it is somewhat emotional abuse for them. cause they dont know and probably wonder a lot what's wrong with them, and what they did to piss you off, or make you cut contact with them.

 

[seabreeze]

Screwit,

But it sounded like she was waiting for you to make a move. Why didn't you? Honestly, were you just not feeling her anyway? If not, I don't think you ganjied her, because isn't ganji reserved for girl friends that you really like and want to start a relationship with?
SB

 

[Fenderules]

yeah and that loose interest, like the one chick with me. I'm thinking im gonna drop a "merry christams" e-mail but just a brief one just saying sorry im busy blah blah blah but im not re-initiating contact. I talk to her friends once in a while but not her so she may be getting curious why i dont talk to her anymore. Then again maby not cause she stopped talking to me 2.

o well im trying hip up her friend more so its all good

 

[Aussiedude]

I am ganji-ing a girl at the moment - had to do it after she played the hidden boyfriend card. Months of leading me on then as I get interested she reveals the boyfriend. Now THAT is emotional abuse.

Don't like having to do it - but in a way there is no choice - you either be the rebound "friend" or you get the heck out!

Don't think the ganji will work here anyway as she is still hung up on the ex. Still it will help me stay away from her!

 

[Gonzalo]

Originally posted by seabreeze

Frankly, I'm appalled at the way women have treated some of you guys! I think it's a disgrace for anyone to resort to ganji with someone they have feelings for. It becomes abusive, I think, when you know that the person has no idea why you are ignoring them. It is also a terrible thing to do to someone just because you want them in a romantic way and they may or may not want you. I think communicatin and acceptance is the best way to deal with someone in this type of situation, not ganji.

The way I see it, everybody has the right to choose the type of relationships they want and the people they want to have them with. So just just because "Jenny" decides she wants to marry her sweetie from the 3rd grade and keep me as another girl-friend for when she wants to watch her "Love actually" dvd, while I already made manifest my romantic interest in her, doesn't mean I have to agree with her, or share the interest in a friendship like that.

More than thinking about who's psychologically abusing who, I think No one should partake in any relationship he/she isn't happy with. Be it boring friends, abusing family/partner, etc etc. Walking away (Ganji style) says "I'm not happy with being anything other than a couple on my terms"; if not having me around really makes her life a living then she'll probably realize that hmmm perhaps she does want me, oh joy.

By the way, I've tried it in the past. Works when the girl has interest in you. Use your judgement to use it on people who care/could care.

G

 

[Caveman]

Originally posted by seabreeze
Screwit,

But it sounded like she was waiting for you to make a move. Why didn't you? Honestly, were you just not feeling her anyway? If not, I don't think you ganjied her, because isn't ganji reserved for girl friends that you really like and want to start a relationship with?
SB

No, ganji is a last chance technique for guys that are still after girls who have indicated they didn't want to be with them anymore. It could be a female friend but I'd agree with you that that would be cruel to start a ganjigame over.

I used it once with a girl I was never friends with in the first place. I only started this recently and even though it may or may not work on her, I'm glad to say it helped ME move on. Instead of trying to win her back or following her around, I decided to break off all contact and this way, I was forced to focus on other things. She may or may not want me back but the fact is, I don't really care that much anymore.

 

[DeathDealer]

You should know girls do this GANJI game crap too. You know.. you are playing a game. Such as they call you up out of the blue and talk about the "good ol times" to stir you up and watch what you do while she tells you "you're just a friend"

This is no different from guys being quiet and then calling out of the blue to tell the girl to hang out and act all romantic while telling her "you're just a friend."

Play all the games you want, if you're under 25 and you do these things, that's okay. But if you're over 25-28 and you still play these games, I think you got some MENTAL PROBS.