Is she flaking, cheating, or spinning?

[drZaius09]

ahhh, the wheel continues to turn... Still preaching about being too available... this bullsh*t does NOT matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. If a girl is "into" you, if she "likes" you, if she's "attracted" and "interested" in you, it doesn't matter. IF YOU HAVE A LIFE YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND TO HAVE A LIFE. Just the same as if you dont care if she comes back, you won't have to pretend you don't care if she comes back. Do you guys really, honestly, truly believe that women can't intuitively pick-up on the fact that your posturing is just a ruse? THAT'S THE REASON WHY SHE "LIKES" YOU OR NOT TO BEGIN WITH! Wow, what a concept.

She makes a decision on you based on cues she's either A) seen or B) perceived. Now the game is over. You win or you lose on that. There's no extra time. There's no sudden death. There's no shoot-out. It's over. Pretending to be busy if she calls isn't going to win over the judges at this point. The cards are already in.

Now, Bill, as I recall you had an issue not dissimilar from this one a few months back maybe. How did that turn out? Was anyone here able to help appeal your case? Were you able to swing things in your favor? Nope. Because no matter how long you scour these boards, you will NEVER find a "tip" or a "trick" or a "method" to constrain a woman to like you after she's already decided she doesn't. This girl may or may not like you. I dont know. I don't care and neither should you. The only things we should be concerned with are that we are happy and deserve to be happy. You can do that with or without this girl. Right? Now you dont have to play games or torture yourself with musings of how she feels about you. Because it doesn't matter.

 

[thissucks003]

drZaius09 AWSOME POST!

That is so true! Too many times everyone here thinks that a certain trick or gimmick would change the course of a relationship instead of seeing things as they are.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

I'm of the mindset that when I can't confront a problem on my own with a girl, she no longer becomes worthy to be with. Anytime I'd ever have to post, to sit down and waste my friend's time, or really focus energy on "solving", the PURPOSE of being with her TOTALLY evaporates. If you're NOT spending more than 75% of your time CREATING great memories and ENJOYING your NOW time together, WHAT ARE YOU DOING????

Playing Relationship, as women would have you call it.

Playing relationship refers to the situations in which women thrust men so she can play her drama out and FEEL like she's in some movie or tv show. Maybe she flakes. Maybe she tests you. Maybe she can't "figure herself out right now." Who's problem is that?

Bottom line, any COMMITTED man(i.e. not married), wants a sane relationship, and it's not too much to ask her to be straight-minded and pretty normal. It isn't your job to put up with her. It's your job to ENJOY your time together. Don't let the idea of ENTITLEMENT throw you; that's just today's modern woman's ammunition that she uses to rope you back in.

MEN need lines. You need to keep boundaries. Women will continue to push until you realized how much you've given up. Then guess what...she says, "You're not like you used to be." Why? Because you set a NEW boundary. See, she won't KNOW how the relationship is until you tell her. Until you act and go through the motions. If you like your friend time, or poker nights, and want her to come along, bring her. If she begins criticizing you for not being around enough, LOGICALLY make your statement, and if she still can't comply, ask her what her EXPECTATIONS are. And then decide if it's time to go. There's no reason to spend mucho time on itty bitty preferences and desires.

If you have to resort to other people's opinions, then it's gone too far, and it WILL continue to go that Far UNLESS you stop it. All the people I know in GREAT relationships don't have to abuse our time as friends with constant banter about a bad partner. The few people who did were in bad relationships. One of those friends I never see anymore. His GF had gone to Cancun, cheated on him, then had the audacity to INVITE this guy she'd cheated with to her apartment, ALL the way from Wisconsin. My old friend, who knew he'd probably not get any better looking wanted to figure out what to do! Duh, ditch the cvnt! I recall when they first met how enamoured he was with the sex, and that was the death stroke RIGHT there. My other pal is divorcing his wife of only 1.5 years, Thank the good Lord. They were bad together. I never saw him. He never got out. And she never accompanied him on ANYTHING social. She never stayed up past 10pm if I visited. And she wondered why they divorced. That, and they relegated sex to ONCE a week, on Thursdays. This was a couple who was 24 when they married. They'll be 26 when they divorce.

All other people I know in healthy relationships don't need to blather on about problems, and if it gets too big they can't handle it, EITHER, they have a DRAMA queen/ATTENTION HWORE, OR, they should split up because it evidently isn't working.

It isn't being cold or careless, IMO, to cut bait and move on. If it's NOT working now, it won't work later. And why would you stick around NOW. If it's been good for a LITTLE bit of time, what bait is there to hook you into better things. You have no experience to base it on. I guess for most guys' "it's the best of what's around," and that's it. To me it's an opportunity cost scenario.

The minute my pleasure with her a basis of say, a month, drops below what I receive from:

*Visiting my family.
*Spending time with cousins, my brother, friends, or co-workers
*A good day at work
*Reading
*Being alone
*Lifting
*Golfing
*Poker
*Posting on here and other boards
*Travelling
*Movies

Etc...I'm through. That's it. She has to be ONE of many pleasurable people and experiences in my life. You wouldn't spend time needlessly around a flakey stupid friend, would you? I know I don't. I've long since rid myself of those hanger-ons. So why do it now?



A-Unit

 

[Heretolearn]

I'm of the mindset that when I can't confront a problem on my own with a girl, she no longer becomes worthy to be with. Anytime I'd ever have to post, to sit down and waste my friend's time, or really focus energy on "solving", the PURPOSE of being with her TOTALLY evaporates. If you're NOT spending more than 75% of your time CREATING great memories and ENJOYING your NOW time together, WHAT ARE YOU DOING????

Playing Relationship, as women would have you call it.

Playing relationship refers to the situations in which women thrust men so she can play her drama out and FEEL like she's in some movie or tv show. Maybe she flakes. Maybe she tests you. Maybe she can't "figure herself out right now." Who's problem is that?

Bottom line, any COMMITTED man(i.e. not married), wants a sane relationship, and it's not too much to ask her to be straight-minded and pretty normal. It isn't your job to put up with her. It's your job to ENJOY your time together. Don't let the idea of ENTITLEMENT throw you; that's just today's modern woman's ammunition that she uses to rope you back in.

MEN need lines. You need to keep boundaries. Women will continue to push until you realized how much you've given up. Then guess what...she says, "You're not like you used to be." Why? Because you set a NEW boundary. See, she won't KNOW how the relationship is until you tell her. Until you act and go through the motions. If you like your friend time, or poker nights, and want her to come along, bring her. If she begins criticizing you for not being around enough, LOGICALLY make your statement, and if she still can't comply, ask her what her EXPECTATIONS are. And then decide if it's time to go. There's no reason to spend mucho time on itty bitty preferences and desires.

If you have to resort to other people's opinions, then it's gone too far, and it WILL continue to go that Far UNLESS you stop it. All the people I know in GREAT relationships don't have to abuse our time as friends with constant banter about a bad partner. The few people who did were in bad relationships. One of those friends I never see anymore. His GF had gone to Cancun, cheated on him, then had the audacity to INVITE this guy she'd cheated with to her apartment, ALL the way from Wisconsin. My old friend, who knew he'd probably not get any better looking wanted to figure out what to do! Duh, ditch the cvnt! I recall when they first met how enamoured he was with the sex, and that was the death stroke RIGHT there. My other pal is divorcing his wife of only 1.5 years, Thank the good Lord. They were bad together. I never saw him. He never got out. And she never accompanied him on ANYTHING social. She never stayed up past 10pm if I visited. And she wondered why they divorced. That, and they relegated sex to ONCE a week, on Thursdays. This was a couple who was 24 when they married. They'll be 26 when they divorce.

All other people I know in healthy relationships don't need to blather on about problems, and if it gets too big they can't handle it, EITHER, they have a DRAMA queen/ATTENTION HWORE, OR, they should split up because it evidently isn't working.

It isn't being cold or careless, IMO, to cut bait and move on. If it's NOT working now, it won't work later. And why would you stick around NOW. If it's been good for a LITTLE bit of time, what bait is there to hook you into better things. You have no experience to base it on. I guess for most guys' "it's the best of what's around," and that's it. To me it's an opportunity cost scenario.

The minute my pleasure with her a basis of say, a month, drops below what I receive from:

*Visiting my family.
*Spending time with cousins, my brother, friends, or co-workers
*A good day at work
*Reading
*Being alone
*Lifting
*Golfing
*Poker
*Posting on here and other boards
*Travelling
*Movies

Etc...I'm through. That's it. She has to be ONE of many pleasurable people and experiences in my life. You wouldn't spend time needlessly around a flakey stupid friend, would you? I know I don't. I've long since rid myself of those hanger-ons. So why do it now?



A-Unit

great post!

 

[white sox bill]

Hey guys! I know its been over 2 weeks. Sorry! Anyway, I had intentions of blowing her off the night before I left for business, but she shows up at my door at 10 that night. So I laid the pipe to her and the next AM as well before I left.

Actually that was the last time. I basically called her on her crap when I got back home, she defended herself and then later that day left me a VM saying:
"This is my doing (reffering to her blowing me off), I just don't want to be hurt. I feel myself falling for you, the more time I spend with you, the more I want to see you. Youv'e been a bachleor for 46 yrs. I'm not sure you want what I have"(meaning 4 kids,deadbeat worthless ex-hubby,and almost bankrupt finanaces).

So we've cooled it down since. We went to a rock concert last Friday and had to cut the weekend short because her kids babysitter had a seizure(giving her the benefit of some doubt here). I didn't talk to her for 4 days. she finally called yesterday and said to call her. I waited 24 hrs to return her call. Now we're plating phone tag. I'm relatively certain that she still wants to fvck, judging from her actions in the motel room.

I'm gonna just chill...think I'll start parking my truck inside my gargage because I know she drives within 1 block of my house when she leaves work at night. Make her wonder WTF I am...and of course, start getting phone numbers when I go out. Usually after blowing them off for a while, they start coming around again. Thanks for listening! This girl needs to go in the "booty call" section of my life. In fact, when we were just doing eachother, we both seemed much more at ease. Then the "dating" came where we started to go places with our clothes on, and things went downhill

 

[ER!C L!VE]

I'm going to tell you your fortune: Her next move will be to start drama and then end the 'relationship' because of something YOU supposedly did or said.. usually something VERY minor, but enough to justify ending it with no guilt. Then, you're bad guy and she's good girl. lol

I wasn't too far off...

 

[white sox bill]

I wasn't too far off...

Good call.

 

[white sox bill]

ahhh, the wheel continues to turn... Still preaching about being too available... this bullsh*t does NOT matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. If a girl is "into" you, if she "likes" you, if she's "attracted" and "interested" in you, it doesn't matter. IF YOU HAVE A LIFE YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND TO HAVE A LIFE. Just the same as if you dont care if she comes back, you won't have to pretend you don't care if she comes back. Do you guys really, honestly, truly believe that women can't intuitively pick-up on the fact that your posturing is just a ruse? THAT'S THE REASON WHY SHE "LIKES" YOU OR NOT TO BEGIN WITH! Wow, what a concept.

She makes a decision on you based on cues she's either A) seen or B) perceived. Now the game is over. You win or you lose on that. There's no extra time. There's no sudden death. There's no shoot-out. It's over. Pretending to be busy if she calls isn't going to win over the judges at this point. The cards are already in.

Now, Bill, as I recall you had an issue not dissimilar from this one a few months back maybe. How did that turn out? Was anyone here able to help appeal your case? Were you able to swing things in your favor? Nope. Because no matter how long you scour these boards, you will NEVER find a "tip" or a "trick" or a "method" to constrain a woman to like you after she's already decided she doesn't. This girl may or may not like you. I dont know. I don't care and neither should you. The only things we should be concerned with are that we are happy and deserve to be happy. You can do that with or without this girl. Right? Now you dont have to play games or torture yourself with musings of how she feels about you. Because it doesn't matter.

Yes good point Doc. That was a woman who was all over me on a date, then wouldn't return my phone calls to save her life. She was NEXT-ed. Once a woman loses interest, damn hard to get it back

 

[white sox bill]

I was talking to someone who know both of us--she said that I'm probably the high light of her day, then I told her wev'e been backing it down lately. Her response:"Wasn't she going to go to such and such festival with some guy a week ago or so?"

Now she told me when I called her on this BS that there was some guy thats been asking her to go out. I didn;t really say much. I think I need to carefully talk to this "friend" a bit more

 

[cordoncordon]

No, you dont need to talk to anyone. You DO need to stop talking to this obsession of yours, and start dating other people. You two are not exclusive, she can do whatever she wants, and that includes dating you when she "feels" like it. You are the only one to blame here for letting feel she can do this to do you, instead of the other way around.


This is your fault. I'm sorry to be so blunt but for cying out loud quit thinking/dating/obsessing over this single mother and move on.

 

[white sox bill]

No, you dont need to talk to anyone. You DO need to stop talking to this obsession of yours, and start dating other people. You two are not exclusive, she can do whatever she wants, and that includes dating you when she "feels" like it. You are the only one to blame here for letting feel she can do this to do you, instead of the other way around.


This is your fault. I'm sorry to be so blunt but for cying out loud quit thinking/dating/obsessing over this single mother and move on.

Your frankness is appreciated, your correct cordon. Being a businessman, I just wrote down the pluses and the minuses of this girl. There were 3 pluses and a whopping 12 minuses. Using a point system, minumum 10 pts, maximum of 100 pts, I rated each trait this girl had. I came up with NEGATIVE 150!! I gave her 90 points for great, wild, kinky sex and a few more for other things.

Then came the liabilities--major docks like 4 kids (-20 points per kid, almost cancelling out the good sex), then financially unstable,deadbeat ex husband,possible semi-slut and so on. This girl just needs to be booty call and nothing moore.

 

[cordoncordon]

There ya go buddy now you are thinking straight. Like I mentioned earlier, a woman in her position should be absolutely begging to be with you, not the other waya round.

Best of luck to you.

 

[white sox bill]

She called yesterday, twice. I very crudley told her to come over and fvck me soon or else...she said how about Tuesday night after work? I said book on it. We will see

 

[Latinoman]

She called yesterday, twice. I very crudley told her to come over and fvck me soon or else...she said how about Tuesday night after work? I said book on it. We will see

LOL. Sweet!

 

[white sox bill]

LOL. Sweet!

Yea thanks! Just left VM on her cell, promised her 20 orgasms and got real graphic hee hee! She called back within minutes. But about tonight--I'll believe it when I see her!

 

[white sox bill]

Yea thanks! Just left VM on her cell, promised her 20 orgasms and got real graphic hee hee! She called back within minutes. But about tonight--I'll believe it when I see her!

Well,

 

[white sox bill]

Well,

Well this cvnt talked to me 4 times yesterday, each time promising me to come over and screw. Then after waiting until 11pm, I called her cell, of course her VM picked up, I told her she's screwed me over for the last time, she can do whoever she wants, same for me, that we need to delete echothers phone number etc. My last line was "You and your ex-husband deserve eachother" (her ex was biggest loser, drunk, deadbeat Dad etc) and hung up on the b!tch!

Adios wench, don't let the door hit you in the ass! She's gonna have a TON of bad karma coming her way soon. Just stay the f*** away from me! I'm still a bit pis8ed, but feel like the weight of the world is off my shoulders. Can't wait to kick her to the curb when she comes whimpering back!!

 

[Vulpine]

Can't wait to kick her to the curb when she comes whimpering back!!

If by that you mean "ignore her attempts to contact you and/or not reply/answer phone" then right on.

You're done with her. Period. There is no need to communicate with her any further. Done. All gone. Finished. Buh-bye.

 

[white sox bill]

If by that you mean "ignore her attempts to contact you and/or not reply/answer phone" then right on.

You're done with her. Period. There is no need to communicate with her any further. Done. All gone. Finished. Buh-bye.

Can't I block her number from reaching my cell phone? That woudln't stop her, she would stop in at my work

 

[resilient]

I wouldn't advise picking up calls from Restricted numbers either right away. They are almost always the ex attempting to call you again. I had to change my cell # because my ex tried to call so much, heh. God speed in moving on white sox. Worse case scenario; you get a fast restraining order put in if she's pscyho.