Is Online Dating Ruining the Dating Scene for Average Guys?

[spinaroonie]

Been seeing more and more of this lately - guy and girl have a great first date, no lay, never hears from her again.

Wonder how much of it has to do with the "mainstreamization" of online dating in recent years?

Any girl with a POF/OKC profile she has a stready stream of suitors knocking at her door. Rest assured there are hundreds of better looking thirsty dudes with more status hitting her up. These guys won't commit but they'll hit it and quit it.

Men are as faithful as their options. Women are as choosy as their options. With online dating, an attractive woman's options are seemingly infinite. In keeping with her hypergamous instincts, she's always on the lookout for the bigger, better deal.

In the past a woman would stick with a guy after a good date because she had no other solid prospects lined up. Now she's more likely to stray.

Online dating is a boon for guys who fit the media-promulgated aesthetic ideal (tall, muscular, white). Like this guy - http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-3601-post-102162.html#pid102162

Guys who don't measure up physically have tough road to ho. No matter how tight his verbal game, a short Asian guy will always be hard-up when Mr. Tom Brady lookalike is hollering at her from the next browser.

Online dating is courtship distilled to its essence sans the filter of approach anxiety.

A 1000 rejections in the real world would cripple a man.
A 1000 rejections in the virtual world mean nothing.

Thousands of thirsty dudes without approach anxiety + hypergamous women with infinite options is a recipe for dating disaster. Unhappy girls who can't get a top guy to commit, and unhappy guys who can't get a date.

This phenomenon is unprecedented in human history.

And if online dating loses its stigma and becomes mainstream, it could put the average guy's prospects in serious jeopardy.

What % of single girls 20-29 today have online dating profiles?

 

[020204]

It is fairly common knowledge that 96% of men give up on online dating after a few months. I agree it is too heavily stacked in favour of females.

 

[Serg897]

It appears that from what I see online on various threads and forums success IS possible with online dating, however you have to seriously examine how much time and effort it takes to determine if its worth it.

Its heavily stacked in favor of women. Women have a huge advantage online. If you are a man you need a great profile and killer pictures to stand out. This often means a lot of time spent tweaking pictures, experimenting, and also writing custom messages for many women.

I've had some moderate success before online (slept with 4 girls from OKC in the past year or two), but in my view it really isn't worth it. Way too much time I could be spending doing more productive things than just spending hours in front of a computer trying to get laid. Work on your game in real life and you will realize the payoff from going online is almost always not worth the effort. Its fine to have a profile on a free site like OKC to play with once in a while, but dont invest too much in it.

 

[SoldMySoul]

I met my ex fiance on POF. For several months I thought she was an outstanding catch, but her faults began to show through soon after. I am awful busy of late and have tried to give POF another go. It is horrendous too. These average a$$ woman are something else. If they are decent,they put up their best pics and presto: Men overload their inbox. A man, on the other hand who can do better in real life has to send a lot of emails with very little results.

My best luck from these sites have come from when women seek me out.. Believe it, it is true. My x fiance gave me a hint and I followed suit. The average quality to poor quality will be in abundance. The law of supply and demand I guess. They say there are more women on the round ball....So men should have better luck. Not generally the case.

 

[Packers2010]

It is fairly common knowledge that 96% of men give up on online dating after a few months. I agree it is too heavily stacked in favour of females.

back when i was a super afc. i mean i had no idea what game was.

I did the hole online thing. my cycle was something like.

2 months on message every girl I could. drop it for like 4 months and get so frustrated and go back.

 

[Eternal_water]

I tried an experiment a couple of days back where I invented 2 profiles on the same dating site, 1 male and 1 female, for the female profile I uploaded a picture of a hot girl I have on facebook (lol) as the profile picture.

After 1 day the inbox for my female profile had 200+ messages

After 4 days my male profile had zero messages

 

[MisterD]

It's because the women can pick to the smallest detail what they're looking for.

They can edit the criteria to match anything from ethnicity, height, income, etc

so let's just say you're 5'9, which is certainly tall enough for most women. and in real life the girl has or would date a guy that height, online if she decides she wants 5'10 and above, you're out of the running.

in real life she's not gonna take a tape measure and measure you and say oh sorry, you're 5'9, an inch shorter than i'm looking for...next!

but online, she can.

i see no harm in setting up a free profile and using it occasionally when you have free time. but it should be a supplement to your game, not the focus. real life should always be the focus. don't put too much stock into online dating

 

[backbreaker]

It's because the women can pick to the smallest detail what they're looking for.

They can edit the criteria to match anything from ethnicity, height, income, etc

so let's just say you're 5'9, which is certainly tall enough for most women. and in real life the girl has or would date a guy that height, online if she decides she wants 5'10 and above, you're out of the running.

in real life she's not gonna take a tape measure and measure you and say oh sorry, you're 5'9, an inch shorter than i'm looking for...next!

but online, she can.

i see no harm in setting up a free profile and using it occasionally when you have free time. but it should be a supplement to your game, not the focus. real life should always be the focus. don't put too much stock into online dating

i agree with this.

i never have and never will use online dating. well i hope not i'm married lol. but if i weren't i stil would not use it my real life game is too potent.

it's just not realistic. like, take my wife. I'm black, she's white. i'm 5'8 she's 5'11 and a half. i'm 28 she's 34.

in real life, she's crazy about me. if she had put up an online profile she would have not bothered to click on my profile as "she doens't like short men"

in real life, though while she said my height was not idea, i wasn't short and i was still pretty handsome. and also note that while she has never dated a black guy before she said she thought i was "really hot".

i look at it like this. about a 8 months ago i bought a new car, a Jag XJL nice car. love it. when i was online, the car i wanted had to be white, it had to be a supersport, it had to have a custom rim package and it had to be new off the show room floor. tese were not up for debate

so i go to the dealership and 3 hours later i end up buying a green non supersport car with base wheels with 4 thousand miles on it lol. when i actually rove the car i realized that hte base jag was more than enough get up for me, as i am a grand ma with my foot on the pedal, i realized in real life the green is slicker than the white and i saved about 10 grand by going with a car with 4k miles on it and it is basically still new.

 

[Eternal_water]

I agree misterD, all the worlds AFCs would be better off if online dating didn't exist. They are just websites girls can sign upto to get hundreds of specalised compliments to boost their ego's.

I checked my profiles again tonight.

Now for the males the site does something sneaky and makes fake female robot profiles and these profiles send automated messages to guys, giving the guys a false belief that they are getting somewhere and thus keeping them on the sight paying money.


My male profile has zero messages (except female robots) and only 5 views, my female profile has 400+ messages and countless views.


It's interesting reading through the messages though and seeing what guys open with online.

There is everying from lame "hi's", "how are you?", "what you bin upto", to "hey, I am blah blah blah, message me back If your interested", to "I am going to make you scream and orgasm fountains blah blah blah" to page long essays about how sensual the love making we will e doing is.

Its actually kinda strange having hundreds of men telling me how attractive I am and how hot my legs are "to be fair my friends is attractive and does have hot legs"



Interesting experiment, If I wanted to I could tell all of these men to meet me at any part of the country as I havent said where I live and they would do it. Its amazing how much power I have been given pretending to be a 9.5

 

[Poonani Maker]

I agree misterD, all the worlds AFCs would be better off if online dating didn't exist. They are just websites girls can sign upto to get hundreds of specalised compliments to boost their ego's.

I checked my profiles again tonight.

Now for the males the site does something sneaky and makes fake female robot profiles and these profiles send automated messages to guys, giving the guys a false belief that they are getting somewhere and thus keeping them on the sight paying money.


My male profile has zero messages (except female robots) and only 5 views, my female profile has 400+ messages and countless views.


It's interesting reading through the messages though and seeing what guys open with online.

There is everying from lame "hi's", "how are you?", "what you bin upto", to "hey, I am blah blah blah, message me back If your interested", to "I am going to make you scream and orgasm fountains blah blah blah" to page long essays about how sensual the love making we will e doing is.

Its actually kinda strange having hundreds of men telling me how attractive I am and how hot my legs are "to be fair my friends is attractive and does have hot legs"



Interesting experiment, If I wanted to I could tell all of these men to meet me at any part of the country as I havent said where I live and they would do it. Its amazing how much power I have been given pretending to be a 9.5

You just gave me an idea. I haven't logged in to my female profile (a 6 at best) in a long time, will do that now (if I can remember the password) to see if there's any difference.

 

[Poonani Maker]

ok, I haven't logged in my female account for at least a year, I have 180 men who've clicked that they wanted to meet me. This is versus mine which says 45 women have said that they wanted to meet me. No mails on my female account as I haven't logged in in over a year no views really. Let's see what happens in a mere 10 minutes of coming back online after over a year of not signing in.

 

[Eternal_water]

Lets have a look at your female photo poonani

Mine

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.ne...0098795071189_704116188_7743523_3767271_n.jpg

 

[Poonani Maker]

ok in just 10 mins almost 23 views, 11 messages, guys this is severely stacked I can go a whole week without a message, even a view sometimes. The messages keep pouring in, especially if she's logged in online and almost all of the first messages are "Hi" and "hey there" etc.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Lets have a look at your female photo poonani

Mine

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.ne...0098795071189_704116188_7743523_3767271_n.jpg

kk here's mine http://pics.plentyoffish.com/dating/78/58/pzhoyz55yy_127626228-2.jpg

 

[Eternal_water]

ok in just 10 mins almost 23 views, 11 messages, guys this is severely stacked I can go a whole week without a message, even a view sometimes. The messages keep pouring in, especially if she's logged in online and almost all of the first messages are "Hi" and "hey there" etc.

I don't use it seriously, I sent a few this for my own entertainment


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGooQ8yYC0c

 

[backbreaker]

kk here's mine http://pics.plentyoffish.com/dating/78/58/pzhoyz55yy_127626228-2.jpg

i would not give her the time of day in real life. just not on my level

Lets have a look at your female photo poonani

Mine

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net...767271_ n.jpg

her either. too chubby

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

i would not give her the time of day in real life. just not on my level

her either. too chubby

Yet a girl like her gets 100 messages a day. I wrote in another thread how men get devalued in online dating sites because of this issue. Any girl who is not blatantly ugly gets lifted to HB7 or HB8 status. By virtue of this artificial increase in attractiveness, a guy who is a 7 becomes a 5 in the girl's eyes because of the increased attention.

What's the end result? Girls who are 5's & 6's who won't settle for a guy unless he is a 7/8. Then online dating becomes a vicious circle where guys keep giving any non-hideous girl attention and then the women think they deserve more than what they have. So they never settle, they never have realistic expectations and nobody really wins.

 

[the_stig]

Guys just getting into online dating missed the boat. The golden years were pre-2010.

I used to line pof dates up in my sleep. Now, the same perfected profile and techniques yield very little results and it just isn't worth the time commitment or aggravation anymore.

 

[spinaroonie]

Guys just getting into online dating missed the boat. The golden years were pre-2010.

I used to line pof dates up in my sleep. Now, the same perfected profile and techniques yield very little results and it just isn't worth the time commitment or aggravation anymore.

So WTF happened since 2010?!? Any theories.

You're not the only one that's told me this. I have an average looking buddy in his mid 30s who racked up 40+ notches using online game in the late 90s/early 2000s. He'd never pull those kind of stats today, not even with war pigs.

I am guessing that Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan flick "You've Got Mail" from 1998 would never happen now.

So what caused the demise of online dating (at least for men)?

 

[Poonani Maker]

I mean some of these dudes (so they say - they can't All be lying) are like fvkin engineers and aspiring politicians (with family money) going for this, at best, 6 profile I posted. I mean, a couple look like they got their acts together, but it's online and anyone can be made to look sharp if they put in effort. A lot of them are losers (or "douches" if you will) however, some with no shirts (no homo), many put up pics of themselves on vacation at the beach or in some foreign country to make themselves "look" cultured.

I don't have any of that flashy adventurous sh!t in my profile. I used to put up pics of me with other women (side-shots kissing them), but I think that some chick(s) complained about that and pof admins started fvkin with my profile to not allow most women to view it somehow, maybe put restrictions or filters on me, so I created a new account late last year (with just me in the photos) and the view/messages returned, as well as the #s and I agree with above that the ones who message you first (usually fat/grotesque, except 3 in the past year) tend to be the ones to freely give up their numbers even without asking, asking me to text them. One of them, 32 and thin w/ pretty face, I had on my line over 3 wks, texting pics of herself etc, but I did something or didn't do something like respond for a day or two and she just dropped me as well for no reason and now won't even message my "what's up?" message back lol. It's like wtf did I do? I was busy at the time. It's probably because she gets Soooo many solicitations on there that if I hesitate for one bit in communication to her, she moves on to the sundry other dudes she can explore, exploit, and yank around as well (she was self-admitted "very sarcastic" and many times I couldn't tell if she was just fvcking with me when i was being Real or serious), leaving me a long-obliterated forgotten blip or her radar, even though just a week prior we were in consistent communication her last picture of her sticking her tongue out at the camera. I was like, "What's Her problem? I don't even want her anymore heh. I've got others hah (and have banged at least 3 over the course of time I spent bantering with this one. If she thinks she's just wasted my efforts with her, she's fooling herself. Ain't no sweat off my back."