Is my daygame cold approach socially awkward?

[Drmuscular]

What im doing is that im straight up not bothering to make conversation with these women, so i just ask some random question with a big smile on my face and friendly demeanor (as if i was talking to a friend), if there is no compliance or disinterest i leave, if there is compliance then good i will ask for the number straight up, say: (hey i think you are cute, wanna give me your number?), no rapport building, not anything, then if they say yes good, if they say no then good, i have just started and i have done it 4 times, only got one number and i haven't texted yet, she tried to do some small talk asking about me but i was busy and had to go so i quickly left, im reserving my "game" for real life interactions, and also I'm pretty sure I'm **** at texting but cool irl.

Anyways some friends told me this was "weird" and that it will eventually get me arrested or shouted at because it is borderline harassment and that they only approach via Instagram or do that in parties after talking, i assured them that i was always polite, didn't try hard, and didn't insist at all, if they say no i politely say my goodbyes and go on my way, the reactions that i have gotten is a polite no, a laugh with a no, a laugh with a yes, but i wonder if i will encounter rude people along the way, i didn't see it that way but idk maybe it could be weird?.

I don't want to use Instagram nor OLD, mostly because i have always found social media shallow and only reserve it for my good friends only, any thoughts on this? i haven't had time to see if girls actually follow up but im sure that getting the number is half the battle right?.

At the same time i realize that most of the "players" i know text girls all the time, while here on sosuave there are guys vouching for straight up only texting for going out, which i understand because it cuts every game and lets you know straight away if you are going to get it (and also is what im planning to do, a simple hey its (me) how are you, then straight up for the date), yet i think this approach doesn't let people "explore" what can be done or what these players do via text to increase interest, and also i have done that and i think girls my age do think it is a weird/strange thing.

 

[SW15]

You are 20 years old and you are a part of Generation Z. Generation Z is a bit of a socially awkward generation.

There is no point for asking for a phone number anymore without having set plans to do something. Focus on asking women out on some sort of activity date, do not focus on their phone number.

At age 20, a lot of your success with 18-20 year old women will depend on your looks. Focus on having lower body fat and some muscle definition. With above average looks, your verbal game doesn't need to be as strong.

 

[Learning Curve]

What im doing is that im straight up not bothering to make conversation with these women, so i just ask some random question with a big smile on my face and friendly demeanor (as if i was talking to a friend), if there is no compliance or disinterest i leave, if there is compliance then good i will ask for the number straight up, say: (hey i think you are cute, wanna give me your number?), no rapport building, not anything, then if they say yes good, if they say no then good, i have just started and i have done it 4 times, only got one number and i haven't texted yet, she tried to do some small talk asking about me but i was busy and had to go so i quickly left, im reserving my "game" for real life interactions, and also I'm pretty sure I'm **** at texting but cool irl.

Building rapport at a very short amount of time which you have when cold approaching is an art, and it requires experience. This is something you will learn eventually if you stay long-enough in this game.

Anyways some friends told me this was "weird" and that it will eventually get me arrested or shouted at because it is borderline harassment and that they only approach via Instagram or do that in parties after talking

Your friends have no clue on how to approach women, never ask them or talk about women-topic again. Cold-approach is and will be the best possible way to determine instant attraction or not and to filter women who are a waste of time.

Social media is just another tool in your toolbelt that you can use but it's faceless and it's not the same as a cold-approach.

Cold approach will build your game and take it to another level, but you don't have to approach every single woman. Try to approach only the one you like, and parties are also a good idea, or social gatherings in places that most of the women hang out in your city.

At the same time i realize that most of the "players" i know text girls all the time, while here on sosuave there are guys vouching for straight up only texting for going out, which i understand because it cuts every game and lets you know straight away if you are going to get it (and also is what im planning to do, a simple hey its (me) how are you, then straight up for the date), yet i think this approach doesn't let people "explore" what can be done or what these players do via text to increase interest, and also i have done that and i think girls my age do think it is a weird/strange thing.

"Players" this sounds like a joke.

Guys who over-text women, they get bored eventually.

Texting is only to set up a date, and move on with your life. Nothing else. Rapport is build in-person end of story.

You need in-person dates to create attraction. If you have a strong text game you can mantain it, but that's it.

No over-texting, be busy, besides women, follow your life purpose.

 

[BPH]

What im doing is that im straight up not bothering to make conversation with these women, so i just ask some random question with a big smile on my face and friendly demeanor (as if i was talking to a friend), if there is no compliance or disinterest i leave, if there is compliance then good i will ask for the number straight up, say: (hey i think you are cute, wanna give me your number?), no rapport building, not anything, then if they say yes good, if they say no then good, i have just started and i have done it 4 times, only got one number and i haven't texted yet, she tried to do some small talk asking about me but i was busy and had to go so i quickly left, im reserving my "game" for real life interactions, and also I'm pretty sure I'm **** at texting but cool irl.

Anyways some friends told me this was "weird" and that it will eventually get me arrested or shouted at because it is borderline harassment and that they only approach via Instagram or do that in parties after talking, i assured them that i was always polite, didn't try hard, and didn't insist at all, if they say no i politely say my goodbyes and go on my way, the reactions that i have gotten is a polite no, a laugh with a no, a laugh with a yes, but i wonder if i will encounter rude people along the way, i didn't see it that way but idk maybe it could be weird?.

I don't want to use Instagram nor OLD, mostly because i have always found social media shallow and only reserve it for my good friends only, any thoughts on this? i haven't had time to see if girls actually follow up but im sure that getting the number is half the battle right?.

At the same time i realize that most of the "players" i know text girls all the time, while here on sosuave there are guys vouching for straight up only texting for going out, which i understand because it cuts every game and lets you know straight away if you are going to get it (and also is what im planning to do, a simple hey its (me) how are you, then straight up for the date), yet i think this approach doesn't let people "explore" what can be done or what these players do via text to increase interest, and also i have done that and i think girls my age do think it is a weird/strange thing.

@Learning Curve pretty much hit the nail on the head, but I'll elaborate on a few points:

• This is a general rule, but take advice from people who have the thing you want. For example, I highly doubt your friends who "only approach girls on Instagram" are banging a bunch of hot chicks...that said, I do agree that women are much more receptive to being approached and escalating at parties, bars, etc. vs. out on the street while walking to class or whatever.
• When it comes to your approach DEFINITELY spend a LITTLE more time building rapport, and definitely make your attraction obvious. Don't be pushy, but also don't just stop every cute girl you see and ask for her number without getting a feel for whether she actually likes you. That'll help you weed out some of the girls who will waste your time, and you also won't develop a bad reputation for just chain approaching any girl who comes your way - that will come across as desperate, and as a guy who will take whatever he can get.
• I wouldn't use Instagram to hit on these chicks or DM them, but I'd still have one. A lot of people say that Instagram is today's dating profile, and while mine is trash, I would agree.
• As far as OLD, there's not much reason NOT to have it. You're in college, presumably on campus, so the girls you swipe on will most likely be your classmates. I always suggest having it, keeping your expectations low, and maybe being pleasantly surprised. Some chick may have noticed you at the gym or in class and not known your name, only your face, and boom - there you are for her to right-swipe on Tinder.
• I only text to respond or to set up plans. A good rule of thumb is to mirror; if she's texting novels don't respond with 1 or 2 words, and vice-versa. But otherwise, you want these girls to think of you as a romantic partner - not one of her girlfriends that she can text back and forth for hours on end.
• You're not increasing interest over text - you created enough interest to get her number, now your goal should be to plan the next time you can increase that interest IN PERSON, ideally in a way that allows you to escalate and close; meeting up at the same party, same bar, coming over to watch a movie while your roommate's gone, etc.

A little longer than I intended this response to be, but whatever.

 

[mikedee]

Texting is only to set up a date, and move on with your life. Nothing else. Rapport is build in-person end of story.

I agree with everything but this above. Texting only to set up dates is an old mentality from the era of flip phones, it doesn't apply in 2024 and it's the best way to get ghosted, especially with 18-25yo girls.

You can build rapport with text messages but only if you have already met. Don't over text though.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Anyways some friends told me this was "weird" and that it will eventually get me arrested or shouted at because it is borderline harassment and that they only approach via Instagram or do that in parties after talking, i assured them that i was always polite, didn't try hard, and didn't insist at all, if they say no i politely say my goodbyes and go on my way, the reactions that i have gotten is a polite no, a laugh with a no, a laugh with a yes, but i wonder if i will encounter rude people along the way, i didn't see it that way but idk maybe it could be weird?.

Do you get results?
If yes, none of their comments matter.
If no, switch to another approach.

 

[Learning Curve]

I agree with everything but this above. Texting only to set up dates is an old mentality from the era of flip phones, it doesn't apply in 2024 and it's the best way to get ghosted, especially with 18-25yo girls.

You can build rapport with text messages but only if you have already met. Don't over text though.

Well, if that works for you, this means you have a strong text game.

But it does not work for the majority of guys. Do you know why?

Because most guys have no clue what to text, and they f3uck up after 5-6 text messages, attraction is destroyed and the woman is long gone.

Unless you have a strong text-game to build attraction, which i have nothing against as long as it does not drag for days or weeks without setting up dates because ultimately you want to end up inside a woman. That is the goal anyway.

The average guy has no clue what to text, in that case when there is no experience is best to keep it at 5-6 texts and ask for a date. This way you save your ass from mistakes in the beginning.

And since, there will be the initial cold-approach you have already build in a way the initial attraction stage.

 

[Drmuscular]

"Players" this sounds like a joke.

Guys who over-text women, they get bored eventually.

Texting is only to set up a date, and move on with your life. Nothing else. Rapport is build in-person end of story.

You need in-person dates to create attraction. If you have a strong text game you can mantain it, but that's it.

No over-texting, be busy, besides women, follow your life purpose.

I do not mean over texting i don't think they do that, i do think its possible to increase interest during texts as long as your texts can give her the right emotions (which probably limits to either make her laugh or make her horny), but it definitely never has the same effect as real life of course and its much harder to get their attention since your appearance and body language cannot be seen, so what might be cool in real life might be uninterest in text, i do believe that practicing writing or poetry + god tier social skills might up your text game indirectly.

This is a general rule, but take advice from people who have the thing you want. For example, I highly doubt your friends who "only approach girls on Instagram" are banging a bunch of hot chicks...that said, I do agree that women are much more receptive to being approached and escalating at parties, bars, etc. vs. out on the street while walking to class or whatever.

I mean one of them banged chicks before when he was a player but it was highschool at the time, he recently got into an ltr and generally doesn't have any other side chicks right now, in fact he broke one of the rules of this forum as his gf was his "best friend" before, she looks very good too and seem to be happy at one year, the other guy used to be an afc/simp, stopped being one (I think lol), got a girlfriend too and way higher LMS than him, i ask them mostly because they definitely have more experience than me.

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I'm not approaching every single women, if i did i wouldn't have the time to do anything else if im being honest and i got to take care of my career, I'm only approaching those who I find hot, and i don't approach those who are definitely going somewhere or concentrating in something nor in public transport, mostly those who either look bored or are having a conversation with someone else. Thanks for the advice guys i will try to build up my game like this, will text the girl i got a number from today and see if she follows through.

 

[SW15]

Texting only to set up dates is an old mentality from the era of flip phones,

In the era of flip and candy bar phones (2000s), using a cell phone for voice communication with females was much easier. It was far more difficult to send text messages on those phones, so text messages were rarely used. In the era of flip/candy bar phones when calling was more of the primary form of communication over texting, I would get a woman's number and give mine, so that she'd recognize me on caller id when I called.

Around 2008-2010, I started to notice it was more difficult to get females on the phone for voice calls, so that's when texting in the earlier stages of dating started to become more of a thing for me.

I miss the time of more voice calls than text messages earlier on.

I think there's a case to be made that texting has changes from the Blackberry, early Android, and early iPhone era (late 2000s/early 2010s) to today. Gen Z women (1997-early 2000s births) have a different perspective on texting than the Millennials. In the late 2000s/early 2010s, it was the Millennial generation who were the big adult texters. A lot of Millennials were already adults when texting on cell phones became a bigger thing but Gen Z got introduced to this technology far earlier in life.

I'm 41 (early Millennial) and I've dealt with more Millennial women than Gen Z women.

 

[Learning Curve]

I do not mean over texting i don't think they do that, i do think its possible to increase interest during texts as long as your texts can give her the right emotions (which probably limits to either make her laugh or make her horny), but it definitely never has the same effect as real life of course and its much harder to get their attention since your appearance and body language cannot be seen, so what might be cool in real life might be uninterest in text, i do believe that practicing writing or poetry + god tier social skills might up your text game indirectly.

I do agree on your point but think how many guys have such text game to make a woman horny just from texts?

I would say that's a very low number.

You can practice text-game i do think is important what you say in-person as when you are not there.

There is a long experience that guys need to have in this game which is called "texting" because each woman is different. You need to be adaptable in your text-game for each woman you approach.

Meaning that, some women want more sexual, some want less, some get horny when you don't respond as funny as it sounds, some get horny when you are straight direct.

You need to be as i mentioned many time in this forum, like a chameleon with women. Adapt to every situation in your text-game and this requires experience.