Is meeting quality women in bars a lost cause?

[Truman181]

As some of you may know, I recently broke up with a long term girlfriend. Consequently I have to rebuild my social life from scratch. More than likely, this will involve getting back into the bar scene. Now from my experience, most girls in bars are AW's or at least receive an emotional charge from the drama that comes with social circles and the bar environment. Social status can play such an important part of attraction in bars. It's almost like high school again. So is it a lost cause to look for any quality women there?

If you guys think meeting a quality woman in a bar is a lost cause, where would be some good locations to meet some?

 

[MatureDJ]

The only place that I had any luck was at church sponsored dances. They are loaded with the typical dumpy 30 & 40-something divorcees, but every once in a while, there would be an attractive 20-something that would be tagging along with her friends of the typical demographic. These dances tend to not attract the barroom broad garbage, and in such an environment, the women tend to not have their b1tch shields up. Oh, and these dances tend to be relatively early in the evening, so if it would be a dry night, the evening would not be lost.

Back in the early 90's, it was pretty good, but with the demographic squeeze, the few decent women seemed to die out around 1995.

 

[iqqi]

Every kind of girl goes to the bar. Slvtty ones, prudish ones, smart ones, dumb ones, loyal ones, wh0rish ones, ect ect.

So you just have to put the right filters on to wade through the crap to find a jewel in the "rough" so to speak. It cracks me up when guys say you can't find a quality woman at the bar. I don't know one single person in the country who hasn't been to the bar a few times.

 

[Jitterbug]

You can meet quality women at the bar, but most of them don't go there to meet guys.

 

[Truman181]

So you just have to put the right filters on to wade through the crap to find a jewel in the "rough" so to speak. It cracks me up when guys say you can't find a quality woman at the bar. I don't know one single person in the country who hasn't been to the bar a few times.

Obviously you haven't tried looking for quality women there.

 

[legolas]

It's a misconception to assume that you can't find quality women in bars. That would depend upon your area (big city vs. small town) and the bars there. I don't blame you for hating the bar scene though, I don't like it myself either. It's too loud and too dark, but that doesn't mean that you can't find quality women there; that's just an excuse.

What I'm saying is try to be honest with yourself. Do you hate bars because you feel inferior and you haven't mastered the game there or do you hate them for being loud and noisy? This is the crucial distinction. If you just hate the bar scene, then that's fine, but if you have a problem pulling girls in bars then saying "there's no quality women in bars" is like the fox calling the grapes sour because he couldn't reach them.

With that in mind, if you want to meet more people in non-bar situations, try checking www.meetup.com and see if there are any "meetups: in your area that have other young people in your age range and activities that you enjoy.

 

[STR8UP]

My god, I can't believe IQQI of all people gave the best advice on this thread.

And I'll beat the dead horse cause some people will never get it- the bar scene isn't a dead-on representation of a cross section of the population, but it isn't a cesspool filled with degenerate crack smoking wh0res.

I have a feeling that most of the people who perpetuate the "no good women in bars" myth are either a) parroting what they have heard their entire lives and don't know any better, or b) unsuccessful at meeting women at bars.

The other myth that I find laughable is the "women don't go to bars to meet men" myth. What the hell do you think they are doing there? Prime example of why you should watch what a woman does instead of listening to ALL of them when they say "I don't go to bars to meet people, I just go to dance".

What a crock. Of course they won't admit it cause they fall into the same social stigma/ social conditioning trap that the "you can't find any good women in bars" crowd does. If they said "Yes, I go to bars to meet men" society would look at them like degenerate crack wh0res.

Wake up from the matrix people.

 

[insidious]

Depends a lot on the bar also...its location, clientele, etc. Bars are a microcosm of society...quality women are hard to find, period. Bars are no exception, the only thing is there you can have fun, drink and focus on other things beside women

 

[Latinoman]

Don't waste your time in bars. Take dance classes. That's my advice.

By the way, I will take anything that STR8UP (a guy with more drama than Maddona) and Iqqi (a self-admitted drunk) on these issue of bars and women. Both of them have decreased their happiness considerably (see comments under the brackets after their name) due to the time they spend in that venue.

 

[true romance]

go to happy hours between 5pm-7pm. Usually on Thursday or Friday. Terrace, outdoor..easy to engage in conversation
The professional crowd !!!

You likely meeting office girls, well dress, not too drunk and it's daylight!!!!

You can see what they look like instead of in the dark club.

also their defense is much lower than club /bar scene at midnight.

 

[Latinoman]

I totally agree with the Happy Hour part. Lot of people "network" during happy hours. Good advice.

 

[Warrior74]

Don't waste your time in bars. Take dance classes. That's my advice.

boy am I sick of that one. I have a friend who teaches dance. and she talks about how its all these nerds coming to try and pick up women and all these older bored houswifes there. Every time I've dropped by the studio she's the hottest chick there. If you are looking for older bored housewives...have at it. Of course in your town your milage may vary. In my small town dance classes aren't gonna cut it.

 

[Truman181]

I've thought about what a lot of you guys have said. I feel pressured to reenter the bar scene BECAUSE I don't know of any other places to network. But honestly, I don't enjoy the bar scene. I suppose I'm biased and I assume that any woman who goes to bars is low quality simply because they go there on a regular basis. The reason I feel that way is because I myself don't want to go regularly. Therefore it would be pointless FOR ME to meet women who enjoy going to bars on a regular basis because that is something I wouldn't want to do.

And yes, I know that practically every woman on the planet has been to a bar at one time or another. However, I'm sure there are plenty who, like me, doesn't want to frequent bars.

Thanks for the good suggestions True Romance and Latinoman!

 

[Latinoman]

You have to pick the RIGHT dance classes venues. Dude...go to a place that teaches NEAR a University or College. And pick Latin type classes such as tango and/or salsa.


You will meet women in a bar. Quality? Rarely. Here is the thing...the quality ones that might go to a bar (once in a blue moon) might not want to meet their man in a bar because most women believe that meeting a "quality" man in a bar is also impossible.

 

[Latinoman]

Bars are a great resource, just don't limit yourself to them. I've met some nice girls in bars and dated them. (Or, brought them home for a night.) A lot of good single women go to bars. I like pubs, dive bars, and lounges over clubs, since I like to talk, shoot pool, etc. and would rather find a chick who prefers the same. ..

That's smart...so you want a woman that is exposed to a bunch of drunks and azzholes and a woman that might want to constantly go with her girlfriends and they girls night out.

Listen...if you like to talk, shoot pool, and dive bars and pubs...what you need is a network of MALE friends that like the same. Going with a woman to those kind of places will shot down your ability to spin plates.

I used the night scene to find one-night-standers, or a way to get laid. NEVER to find a "quality" woman. There are some there...don't get me wrong. But that's not the pond to fish.

 

[true romance]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Latinoman
Don't waste your time in bars. Take dance classes. That's my advice.



boy am I sick of that one. I have a friend who teaches dance. and she talks about how its all these nerds coming to try and pick up women and all these older bored houswifes there. Every time I've dropped by the studio she's the hottest chick there. If you are looking for older bored housewives...have at it. Of course in your town your milage may vary. In my small town dance classes aren't gonna cut it.



You don't look at the big picture. First you have to enjoy what you are doing. so if dancing is not something you really like then you will discourage and drop out. Pick something that you truly want to learn. You can attract women easier.

Scuba diving club.
Biking club
Volleyballl team..etc

Now dancing. forget about the girls in the dance class, you might meet some divorcee, old house wife or maybe hot chicks.

This is not the point. You are networking so ask them to go out pratice with you. They will likely bring their friends or other female family to come along. you will get introduced...

The old lady might introduce you to her niece out of town..etc

That's where you really shine your moves....I meet a lot of girls through this venue.

Latin dance is contact dance so Kino is already given.

Be patience and have fun.

 

[synergy1]

It's a misconception to assume that you can't find quality women in bars. That would depend upon your area (big city vs. small town) and the bars there. I don't blame you for hating the bar scene though, I don't like it myself either. It's too loud and too dark, but that doesn't mean that you can't find quality women there; that's just an excuse.

What I'm saying is try to be honest with yourself. Do you hate bars because you feel inferior and you haven't mastered the game there or do you hate them for being loud and noisy? This is the crucial distinction. If you just hate the bar scene, then that's fine, but if you have a problem pulling girls in bars then saying "there's no quality women in bars" is like the fox calling the grapes sour because he couldn't reach them.

With that in mind, if you want to meet more people in non-bar situations, try checking www.meetup.com and see if there are any "meetups: in your area that have other young people in your age range and activities that you enjoy.

Two points for you! What I find ironic are guys who claim they can't find "quality" women at the bar, yet wouldn't that also imply that there are no quality guys at the bar? I would contend that most guys here who post and go to the bars feel they are quality; I'd agree in many cases. This line of thinking is contradictory.

Every type of women goes to the bar, as does every type of guy. The trick is to get good at pulling the good ones. I won't throw stones, I am not good at finding quality women at bars, but I can get digits pretty easily. Legolas is 100% correct; claiming women at the bars aren't of quality is essentially sour grapes.

I contend the strongest way to network is to participate in activities. The simplest way to make friends is to share common interests. I don't advocate simplicity over all else, but in this case, its probably the optimal way to start making friends.

 

[synergy1]

Going with a woman to those kind of places will shot down your ability to spin plates.

Quoted for truth.

I was going to just edit the previous post to include this, but this is too key. Going with a women places is a bigger **** block than your AFC buddies who do nothing but cling to you. This assuming the women has any interest in you. On the other hand, a good wingwomen can really help you out, if she's into that. most women don't do that though.

I am lucky enough to know a few who do.

 

[Truman181]

Depends on what bar and depends on what you consider a quality woman...

I'm starting to agree with you. What I've come to understand is that since I don't enjoy the bar scene that I look at women who want to go there frequently as being low quality. But that's just me...

 

[Don Juanabbe]

I've met lots of women in the bar scene - they're almost ALL skanks. I'd suggest trying to avoid these types of scenes if you're wanting to meet a quality woman because it will only frustrate you.