Is meeting quality women in bars a lost cause?

[kingwilliam]

There are wonderful women in bars...............but based on my research, it is difficult to cultivate a relationship with someone that you meet there. Its hard for a woman to trust some stranger she met while she was drunk at a bar.

Not saying it cant happen, but it's a fragile game. I love it.

 

[STR8UP]

Depends a lot on the bar also...its location, clientele, etc. Bars are a microcosm of society...quality women are hard to find, period. Bars are no exception, the only thing is there you can have fun, drink and focus on other things beside women

No, bars are full of trash....you need to go to CHURCH to find a good girl!

What a load of sh!t. I would rather meet a woman at a BAR than at CHURCH any day of the week.

But I'm never gonna say that there aren't any good women who go to church, unlike those who claim that all women who go to bars are skanks.

I just feel sorry for people who allow these self-limiting beliefs to guide them down the path of life. To each his own....

 

[STR8UP]

Don't waste your time in bars. Take dance classes. That's my advice.

By the way, I will take anything that STR8UP (a guy with more drama than Maddona) and Iqqi (a self-admitted drunk) on these issue of bars and women. Both of them have decreased their happiness considerably (see comments under the brackets after their name) due to the time they spend in that venue.

Yea, cause a guy who jumps from LTR to LTR in a matter of two weeks is better qualified to dispense relationship advice!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Location, Location, Location

This is really more of an addendum to the Myth of the Quality Woman, but another common AFC contrivance is the presumption that less than desirable women will necessarily be found in bars & clubs (or other places of "ill repute"). Thus the chump will too eagerly avoid these places. This is, yet again, another example of the binary logic of an AFC and completely ignores that A.) women with whom they might make a successful connection with do in fact frequent clubs and B.) less than desirable women can also be met in "alternative" meeting places too (coffee house, university campus, library, bible study or any number of other "safe places"). However, making approaches in a club are difficult for the inexperienced DJ and the AFC alike. There's a lot of competition and a LOT of potential for rejection for the unprepared. Masking this deficit in game by disqualifying such places, the AFC thinks he's killing 2 birds with one stone - he's protecting his ego from very real rejection and he's lauded by "proper" society (see people who go to clubs anyway) for being an upstanding individual for avoiding those "dens of iniquity." It becomes an unassailable point of view because he's rewarded for his moral insight as a "deep" kind of guy for seeing clubs as seedy. This then feeds the "not like other guys" false sense of uniqueness.

 

[Truman181]

Nice Rollo, I like how you talk about me in third person by simply calling me AFC.

--I don't like bars and clubs.

--Going there to meet women would be pointless because I don't want to meet women that frequent bars.

--I don't like going to bars so I don't want to meet women that frequent bars.

 

[STR8UP]

Not wanting to go to bars because you don't care for going to bars = not AFC

Not going to bars because you still buy into the myth that all the women there are skanks = very AFC

 

[Truman181]

Not wanting to go to bars because you don't care for going to bars = not AFC

Not going to bars because you still buy into the myth that all the women there are skanks = very AFC

Well said

 

[#41]

[However, making approaches in a club are difficult for the inexperienced DJ and the AFC alike. There's a lot of competition and a LOT of potential for rejection for the unprepared.

Of course, it might also be the case that club/bar approaches don't play to the strengths of the particular person making the approach.

Bars and Clubs are usually loud -- negating a lot of conversation and humor opportunities. If that's your best card to play, then you might not have as much success or confidence in your Bar/Cub approaches. On the other hand, if you're good looking and dress to the nines everywhere you go, you might have more success at the Bar/Club approach since it seems to drive on that instant impression and setting yourself apart from the greater herd more than other types of things.

Figure out your strengths and play to them. I know bar/club isn't my forte, so I go there just to have fun instead of for the purpose of meeting women.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Not wanting to go to bars because you don't care for going to bars = not AFC

Not going to bars because you still buy into the myth that all the women there are skanks = very AFC

A good majority of them are skanks though, at least where I come from - but it does depend on the bar - doesn't mean I won't shag them, it just means I won't waste my time on them for anything more than that. Skanks have their uses too.

 

[STR8UP]

A good majority of them are skanks though, at least where I come from - but it does depend on the bar - doesn't mean I won't shag them, it just means I won't waste my time on them for anything more than that. Skanks have their uses too.

In a small town.....maybe. I can see how the stigma might keep certain girls away.

But in a decent size city almost everyone goes to bars. I meet women from all walks of life OUTSIDE of bars, then I bump into them IN bars. I honestly can't think of one "single" person I have met in the past five years that doesn't go to bars from time to time.

Oh wait, I do know a guy who doesn't go because of his strong religious background. But you know what? To me a stick up the ass religious girl is just as bad as a bar skank. I don't want either one.

 

[MatureDJ]

STR8UP is correct here. The one good use of a bar is that if you have met someone outside the bar environment, and happen to meet up with her again in a bar, it's a good opportunity. She would be in a social atmosphere, and ready to consider social invitations, and you would not be a stranger. I'd say that a fair portion of the women I have dated were acquired in this fashion.

 

[Latinoman]

Yea, cause a guy who jumps from LTR to LTR in a matter of two weeks is better qualified to dispense relationship advice!

I don't go from LTR to LTR. I go from LTR to FWB in a matter of ONE week and then after several weeks with that woman, I decided it made sense to have her around.

Judging from this link...you met this woman a YEAR ago... http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=147619

and you still wondering and thinking and whatever?

I screwed women within days of approaching them (sometimes the same day). You deal with a ONE YEAR drama.

And while you were typing that thread (the one in the link above), I went north on a long weekend vacation with my girl. Lot of sex, alcohol, and fun.

So...who is right? I am happy...while you are wondering what that woman you have known for 1 year is up to.

 

[Colossus]

Not wanting to go to bars because you don't care for going to bars = not AFC

Not going to bars because you still buy into the myth that all the women there are skanks = very AFC

Indeed.

I used to be part of this AFC school of thought. The truth of the matter is that, as said, it is a massive generalization used to excuse a lack of game and act as an edification to the existing AFC mindset.

All kinds of women go to bars, clubs, lounges, and the like. People like to have drinks and be social. The doctors, the lawyers, the salesmen, the plumbers, the secretaries, the greaseballs. You just have to pick the right establishments, and go out with good positive wingmen. If you dont dig the loud "club" scene, there are more low key places.

Being in a small town, however, severely limits your options in nightlife. It can be difficult to be a successful DJ in this environment.

 

[STR8UP]

Judging from this link...you met this woman a YEAR ago... http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=147619

and you still wondering and thinking and whatever?

I screwed women within days of approaching them (sometimes the same day). You deal with a ONE YEAR drama.

And while you were typing that thread (the one in the link above), I went north on a long weekend vacation with my girl. Lot of sex, alcohol, and fun.

So...who is right? I am happy...while you are wondering what that woman you have known for 1 year is up to.

Dude...what the hell are you talking about? One year of WHAT drama?

I met her a year ago when I was hanging out with her friend who I was banging at the time. Since then we have hung out off and on in a group setting, she was seeing other people and so was I. I started hang one on one with this girl a few weeks ago.

For some reason you can't say one thing about me without talking about non-existent drama. If you're gonna try to discredit my advice you really should get your facts straight.

 

[true romance]

True DJ can game anywhere in even small town bar.

If you are whining about small town then move out to bigger city.


You are the CEO of your life....