is it normal to get ghost'd after 5 dates without warning?

[PlatoPacks23]

regardless it's her loss! I'll check one more time in a couple weeks and if still no i'll be pissed

 

[anonymous12345]

Another version of ghosting is the "post interaction." You spend time with a girl and naturally add on social media at the end, but she doesn't accept afterwards. It can indeed be seen as that the agreement at the time was just a strategy for conveniently getting rid of me. But at least not always, and I'm always amazed by how genuin they are in person, just to ghost on social media in the next step.

 

[whitething]

well if I saw her again I'd be less "love bombing"... so basically dont reveal or indicate how you feel to a woman EVER even on date 5, or date 9 or date 14 etc..

Nothing wrong with a poem dude! Early on it's just a "TOO" high stakes proposition in today's world. Down the road with a serious relationship for sure. Even then, it should not be too gushy. You didn't know, plus she's a butthead.

 

[Mertz09]

well if I saw her again I'd be less "love bombing"... so basically dont reveal or indicate how you feel to a woman EVER even on date 5, or date 9 or date 14 etc..

What is the hurry? It is what it is. For whatever reasons today's women want you to be a mystery. They Don't want full discloser. Let her chase you. Yeah, it doesn't make a lot of since to Men, but we think differently.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

What is the hurry? It is what it is. For whatever reasons today's women want you to be a mystery. They Don't want full discloser. Let her chase you. Yeah, it doesn't make a lot of since to Men, but we think differently.

It makes total sense. Women want a man with options. Do you think a man who has options would act that way with a woman they just met?

No.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

It makes total sense. Women want a man with options. Do you think a man who has options would act that way with a woman they just met?

No.

so yeah, just have to lie then and never reveal feelings for date 5, date 9, date 12 etc...Ever!

good to know.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

so yeah, just have to lie then and never reveal feelings for date 5, date 9, date 12 etc...Ever!

good to know.

Wrong. You need to stop falling in love with the first woman has has sex with you.

A woman has to feel like she has "won" you and that it was thru her womanly charms that she did it. She can't do that if you are running into her house and locking the door so you can't get out.

Wild Stallions don't tame themselves.

That looks really weak for a man to do, you would do well to stop being asinine and rebelling against it and start understanding how this works.

Your way will only lead to a lot of the same over and over again and you being played like a fiddle by women.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Wrong. You need to stop falling in love with the first woman has has sex with you.

A woman has to feel like she has "won" you and that it was thru her womanly charms that she did it. She can't do that if you are running into her house and locking the door so you can't get out.

Wild Stallions don't tame themselves.

So yeah, I'm saying even if I feel a certain way, I don't reveal it that early (even if "early" is like 2 months into dating process).. or basically ever

I can't stop how I feel, but I can control if I express it or not. Like I felt very into her from date 1, and it was fine for first 4 dates but then Ig guess became "too much" after the 5th.

I feel like I did that (bolded), but def got too needy after. Hopefully it's fixable in this situation with time!

 

[Mertz09]

so yeah, just have to lie then and never reveal feelings for date 5, date 9, date 12 etc...Ever!

good to know.

so yeah, just have to lie then and never reveal feelings for date 5, date 9, date 12 etc...Ever!

good to know.

It's Not any of my business but how old are you? When you get older you will hopefully see that there are a lot of things in the world that are not what they seem to be. Especially with a Woman. This applies to the News, and the so called social media also.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

So yeah, I'm saying even if I feel a certain way, I don't reveal it that early (even if "early" is like 2 months into dating process).. or basically ever

I can't stop how I feel, but I can control if I express it or not.

I feel like I did that, but def got too needy after. Hopefully it's fixable in this situation with time!

Understand this. Uncertainty drives women insane in dating contexts. When she can't figure out how a man feels about her. I mean she has to know that you are into and like her but there are levels to this.

When she doesn't know HOW MUCH or HOW DEEP those feelings go, it drives them crazy trying to figure it out. And all the while they are thinking of you while they are doing it. And the more they are thinking of you the deeper into your web they get and the harder it is for them to get out.

Your job is to lure them in and then make it harder for them to get out with winding pathways and some dead ends. If they have a straight road and know exactly where it's going and how long it's going to take to get there it's boring. It's like they already know the end of the movie before watching it.

They should always want the relationship more than you and you should have a more you could take it or leave it vibe even if you really want it more than her.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Understand this. Uncertainty drives women insane in dating contexts. When she can't figure out how a man feels about her. I mean she has to know that you are into and like her but there are levels to this.

When she doesn't know HOW MUCH or HOW DEEP those feelings go, it drives them crazy trying to figure it out. And all the while they are thinking of you while they are doing it. And the more they are thinking of you the deeper into your web they get and the harder it is for them to get out.

Your job is to lure them in and then make it harder for them to get out with winding pathways and some dead ends. If they have a straight road and know exactly where it's going and how long it's going to take to get there it's boring. It's like they already know the end of the movie before watching it.

They should always want the relationship more than you and you should have a more you could take it or leave it vibe even if you really want it more than her.

This makes a ton of sense! Like "uncertainty" by itself seems a bit difficult to understand, but I see what you mean ^ bold and underlined.

Im pretty sure I indicated I was DEEPLY into her, which I would think is a good thing? Like being deeply into something (when it's reciprocated) should be attractive, no? But hearing what you say, it was too much for her pace which is odd since it was all green lights for dates 1-5.

So yes, it sounds pretty manipulative. But hey! That's the type of bull**** it has to be, and the reality of it, then that's what it is.

I definitely had the "take it or leave it" vibe till the poem thing..I still think with time I might get another chance at this , we will see.. Like a period post date 5 of "spoiling the ending" shouldn't negate the first 4 amazing dates.


I also do truly think Valenteisn day plays a factor in this, since our situation isn't defined yet. But yes, great to know moving forward. I'm so used to just trying to attract and meet chicks, that the "relationship" aspect of my game got sloppy. Game never ends no matter what date you're on! Lol

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This makes a ton of sense! Like "uncertainty" by itself seems a bit difficult to understand, but I see what you mean ^ bold and underlined.

Im pretty sure I indicated I was DEEPLY into her, which I would think is a good thing? Like being deeply into something (when it's reciprocated) should be attractive, no? But hearing what you say, it was too much for her pace which is odd since it was all green lights for dates 1-5.

So yes, it sounds pretty manipulative. But hey! That's the type of bull**** it has to be, and the reality of it, then that's what it is.

I definitely had the "take it or leave it" vibe till the poem thing..I still think with time I might get another chance at this , we will see.. Like a period post date 5 of "spoiling the ending" shouldn't negate the first 4 amazing dates.


I also do truly think Valenteisn day plays a factor in this, since our situation isn't defined yet. But yes, great to know moving forward. I'm so used to just trying to attract and meet chicks, that the "relationship" aspect of my game got sloppy. Game never ends no matter what date you're on! Lol

You seem to not understand how this works and keep trying to use some sort of logic to make things work the way you believe they should work.

You need to stop this if you want to progress with women. This is NOT how it works.

One bad moment CAN and DOES negate 4 "amazing" dates because in the beginning stages women look for disqualification reasons during the early stages of dating because they expect guys to be "on their best behavior" early on and not show their hand right away.

You disqualified yourself to her.

Being DEEPLY into someone that quickly simply signals you have no options and nobody wants to be with someone because they have nobody else to be with. Women want to be with a man who has many options and chooses them from among those options after a period of time, once they prove to them that they are worth choosing. You aren't even letting her prove herself, you are just automatically handing her the win. That has no value because she hasn't earned it and SHE KNOWS she hasn't earned it. That makes her question everything about you and not in a good way. That type of uncertainty is not the type you want her to have.

Essentially you are telling a woman you have no value to other women and are begging her to take you. Do you think that's attractive? Got news for you it isn't.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

One bad moment CAN and DOES negate 4 "amazing" dates because in the beginning stages women look for disqualification reasons during the early stages of dating because they expect guys to be "on their best behavior" early on and not show their hand right away.

You disqualified yourself to her.

Being DEEPLY into someone that quickly simply signals you have no options and nobody wants to be with someone because they have nobody else to be with. Women want to be with a man who has many options and chooses them from among those options after a period of time, once they prove to them that they are worth choosing. You aren't even letting her prove herself, you are just automatically handing her the win. That has no value because she hasn't earned it and SHE KNOWS she hasn't earned it. That makes her question everything about you.

Essentially you are telling a woman you have no value to other women and are begging her to take you. Do you think that's attractive? Got news for you it isn't.

got it.. what would you call the "early stages" of dating going till? This has been about 2 months so far.


So when saying you have "many options" do you mean on a subconscious level (ie: levels thing again?) or it needs to be verbally mentioned in a subtle manner? Like the idea should be that you're also seeing other woman as well at the same time?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

got it.. what would you call the "early stages" of dating going till? This has been about 2 months so far.


So when saying you have "many options" do you mean on a subconscious level (ie: levels thing again?) or it needs to be verbally mentioned in a subtle manner? Like the idea should be that you're also seeing other woman as well at the same time?

Anything under 4 months.

You should be dating other women during this time or at least have the option to do so.

This women should not be getting exclusivity from you for nothing. That should be a reward for her to EARN, not be given away freely like it has no value.

That has a LOT of value as a man, it's what a woman ultimately wants, a man to commit exclusively to her. Your willingness to give this up so easily tells her you have no experience or very little value. Both of which are not good things.

You don't need to mention anything, just let her assume things and if she says stuff that follows those assumptions be vague and don't correct her.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Anything under 4 months.

You should be dating other women during this time or at least have the option to do so.

This women should not be getting exclusivity from you for nothing. That should be a reward for her to EARN, not be given away freely like it has no value.

That has a LOT of value as a man, it's what a woman ultimately wants, a man to commit exclusively to her. Your willingness to give this up so easily tells her you have no experience or very little value. Both of which are not good things.

You don't need to mention anything, just let her assume things and if she says stuff that follows those assumptions be vague and don't correct her.

got it yes that was the problem, didn't realize it till now.


I'm probably just going to text Sunday and just end things with her. None of this "just wait for her to text" since it feels like a lost cause anyway and I just want to mentally move forward. Lessons learned.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

got it yes that was the problem, didn't realize it till now.


I'm probably just going to text Sunday and just end things with her. None of this "just wait for her to text" since it feels like a lost cause anyway and I just want to mentally move forward. Lessons learned.

There is no need to do anything. You would be better to do nothing than to text her. It's going to make thing weird because you are obviously far more invested than she is and have built up a relationship far more than what it was which is just weird to women...

Do not do that. There is nothing to end.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

There is no need to do anything. You would be better to do nothing than to text her. It's going to make thing weird because you are obviously far more invested than she is and have built up a relationship far more than what it was which is just weird to women...

Do not do that. There is nothing to end.

I would do it for ME so I can get closure and mentally move forward. There is no "better" option since this situation is already done, and now I'm just thinking what's best so I move forward more confidently and freely.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I would do it for ME so I can get closure and mentally move forward. There is no "better" option since this situation is already done, and now I'm just thinking what's best so I move forward more confidently and freely.

Men don't NEED closure...that's a feminine trait. Just date other women and keep things open ended. If she gets back to you then you can decide whether you want to give her another chance or not.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

Men don't NEED closure...that's a feminine trait. Just date other women and keep things open ended. If she gets back to you then you can decide whether you want to give her another chance or not.

Well I need closure so I guess I have some feminine traits lol. It also would help me feel better about myself if I'm the one ending things totally moving forward and then I can throw out her stuff, gifts she gave me, pictures etc

 

[MatureDJ]

Now obviously, I plan on just not inviting her out anymore (possibly 1 more time in like 2 weeks and ending it)..... but is it common in dating to just ghost someone after 5 dates and like 50+ hours together? Like I'd think common courtesy would be to just be honest about it esps given amount of time we've spent together, and how she talked about how much she valued "kindness" etc...

If this is how things go in general, I just feel like I can't ever let my emotions get involved and not trust anyone whatsoever no matter what is shared..

Absolutely - in fact I am quite surprised when it doesn't happen.