Is it immoral to have a sex buddy?

[DJmonster]

I'm talking about when neither person is in a serious relationship, and they have both decided they don't want a relationship with each other.

I have never had one, so I'm not sure. You guys that have, did you feel guilty at all? Also, is it possible to have no strings attatched?

My girlfriend and I were debating this. Her and her ex decided they still wanted to be friends, and they were still messing around once in a while before she met me. She says it was meaningless and casual. To me, this seems wrong, but she thought it was ok. What do you guys think, right or wrong?

 

[JohnJones]

I don't think you go to he11 for have this kind of casual relationship, if that's what you mean about it being wrong.

I do think its a little gross, cheap and seedy, for me, and I wouldn't want to be involved with a woman who could do such a thing (to me its not much better than a prearranged multi-night stand).

Does it bother you?

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

That depends on your definition of the word "morality."

You know, for some people, it's like this: What do you get out of a relationship?

Love? I've got a dog for that.

Good conversation? I've got friends for that.

Something to do? I've got hobbies for that.

Someone to hang out with or spend time with? My friends will do that, too.

Someone who will understand me? My mommy understands me.

So sometimes it all comes down to

SEX.

And if that's the case, and two people who have no strings attached want to do the "Discovery Channel Thing", then hey. More power to them, I say.

 

[DJmonster]

Yes, it does bother me. I see it as weakness. When I think about my girlfriend giving it up so easily and doing the "discovery channel thing", it makes me sick.

 

[Dirtheart]

When I think about my girlfriend giving it up so easily and doing the "discovery channel thing", it makes me sick

I think the same way and would never want to be with any girl who could reduce sex to such a cheap and meaningless activity. But that's me and I have high standards.

 

[b's nuts]

I had a fvck buddy last summer, and it worked out great for me. I eventually stopped having sex with her because she started getting on my nerves, because it can be difficult having no strings attatched. Basically, we set it up, that as long as neither of us were sleeping with anyone else (keep it clean and safe) that we would use each other for meaningless sex. It was great when your drunk and looking to score (she only lived like 8 or 9 blocks from me). I don't see a morality issue with it, but hey, im not so sure i have morals anyways.

 

[Alen-Delon]

you can tell that azz has been around... if i was you i would move on.... after all.... what is morality....

 

[Wonderbread166]

No one can tell you what's immoral and what's not. If it's immoral to you, don't do it.

 

[Viking25]

DJmonster.....I can tell you are not comfortable with all this and you will not get over this.
There's no such thing as free or meaningless sex! It's always means something. I understand how your gf doesn't see anything immoral about having fukk buddy. She is a wh0re and nothing wrong with that either,it's just her. Now the question you should be asking yourself is : "Do I want a serious relationship with a girl like that?"
If you do,then start looking for a girl you feel comfortable with. And if you just want gf for sex and attention..then why not be with current one.
Just don't fool yourself about the issue....you are not going to be happy with your current gf in a long run. I assume that because you are asking all those questions now.

 

[Dirtheart]

Viking25 is right. If you are uncomfortable with this, nothing is going to change and there's a good chance it will make you feel insecure in the long term.

 

[JT47319]

By the time a hot high school chick graduates from highschool, she’s had 10 boyfriends and 1 one night stand. Women are becoming more sexually free.

In fact, its being shown in places like Norway that the early 20s are going out and choosing their sexual partners more so than later generation of 30something chicks. On the other hand, their male 20something counterparts are going out LESS and satisfying themselves with Rosey Palm and internet porn.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

What I find funny is that 90% of the guys on this board think that a guy having a f*ck buddy is just fine, but 90% of the guys on this thread think that a girl having a f*ck buddy is "immoral".

 

[JohnJones]

To take it back from some sweeping statements, I am going to agree in part with Dirt and Viking: If you are not comfortable with it, decide whether its because you are somehow insecure (that does not need to be the case, just a thought) or it really gets on you (for the reasons you stated, it may make you feel like she's cheaper than she should be, etc.). If you are insecure, figure out how to get secure.

After that, if you are still just plain irritated, break up with her or distance yourself from her (that she's just a fun person to be with for now).

If not, your irritations will fester and may make you madder and more disgusted with it, and the only person around to get confronted with that will be your g/f.

Let me also say that (1) a lot of people's relationships are basically just F-Buddies at the end (2) its better than her having a lot of ONS (3) I know a lot of girls who would think F-Buddies are gross but who have cheated on b/fs -- at least you don't have that.

 

[JohnJones]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
What I find funny is that 90% of the guys on this board think that a guy having a f*ck buddy is just fine, but 90% of the guys on this thread think that a girl having a f*ck buddy is "immoral".

I always looked at it as that men just were lucky to get away with it, not that its right somehow for us but wrong for women.
If women started holding men to the same standards that we hold them to (or that they do to themselves), men would be in trouble.

Trying to have a different morality rule is impossible. It either is or it isn't for both.

 

[johnny_chase]

i dunno, my right hand dosent seem to mind

 

[NewMan]

My girlfriend and I were debating this. Her and her ex decided they still wanted to be friends, and they were still messing around once in a while before she met me. She says it was meaningless and casual. To me, this seems wrong, but she thought it was ok. What do you guys think, right or wrong?

It is irrelevant what we think about this - it's all about what you think about it.

Are you truly against this? or is it just because your current girl did it in the past? Is it an ego thing?

Just remember - this wasn't a meaningless thing - they were once BF and GF - so obviouxly they had feelings for each other - and probably still cared for each other.

Also - as someone else said earlier - a no strings attached realtionship is very hard to come by - they truly never last very long - and generally one of the individuals likes the other much more.

The thing of it is, most guys would take a no strings attached relationship - but can not except the fact that their GF has done this.

Strange.

Bottom line is - you have a problem with this - and this will end up ruining your relationship - so better off ending it now and saving all the pain down the road.

 

[Viking25]

Where's Puerto Rican Lover when you need him?..LOL He would explain it better then me about wh0rish nature of some women. And yes..there are double standarts ,or should say two different standarts for men and women. And it's olny fair to have that, because men and women have different roles in society.
Anyhow...DJmonster, find a girl who makes you feel like a million bucks about yourself,a girl who meets YOUR standarts,a girl who desereves your time and affection.
When you dump that wh0re you are calling your gf right now,do me and other men a favour....let her know why you are dumping her. Because wh0res should deal with consequences of being immoral,not you!

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
What I find funny is that 90% of the guys on this board think that a guy having a f*ck buddy is just fine, but 90% of the guys on this thread think that a girl having a f*ck buddy is "immoral".

ya it's amazing... most guys can't handle the possibility of sexual competition without passing out. As long as she's not fvcking other guys, they are safe. But if she is gonna have sex with somebody else, then it's "run for hills quick", before they're compared sexually to somebody else.

 

[MrBond007]

To answer a question like this one, one would have to define morality first.

Anyway... I beleive there is no right or wrong about anything. There is only "my side" and "their side".

Some people might call my friend a mentally challenged person when I would call him a fuking good drinking buddy.

Some people might call a woman a whore and others would call her a sexually free woman.

Who is right? Who is wrong? I believe neither are (but you could say both are, in your own opinion). People with morallity issues just labelled things differently than the people beleiving these things are "right".

From my point of view, I say it is impossible to define something as being morally wrong, or morally right for that matter.

 

[Ice Cold]

Originally posted by DJmonster
I'm talking about when neither person is in a serious relationship, and they have both decided they don't want a relationship with each other.

I have never had one, so I'm not sure. You guys that have, did you feel guilty at all? Also, is it possible to have no strings attatched?

My girlfriend and I were debating this. Her and her ex decided they still wanted to be friends, and they were still messing around once in a while before she met me. She says it was meaningless and casual. To me, this seems wrong, but she thought it was ok. What do you guys think, right or wrong?

Moral: virtuous according to civilized standards of right and wrong

No it's not moral, because you don't think it's right for your girlfriend to have a meaningless sexual relationship with another guy.

Simpel