Is it gonna be awkward if I get rejected?

[MattB]

First I have to say I don't really have a fear for rejection. I have been rejected, ljbfed, given fake number, and all those experiences really helped me.

But now I have a problem. A month ago, a buddy (who is a DJ, have tons of friends, and very popular with girls. He's very charismatic) invited me to dinner. At the dinner I brought some female friends of mine and he brought his friends. This is one of our ways to expand our social circle.

Anyways, saw this pretty girl. LIke 8.3 material. At first I didnt pay much attention to her , cus I only like a girl with a good personality. However, couple days later,my friends and I (including her) hang out again, and I started to get attracted to her.

And now , I want to ask her out.Just hanging out. Now here's the problem. If I ask her out and she rejects me ( we always hang out with like a bunch of people, if is 1v1, then she might even consdier it as a date ) , is going to be awkward for us to see each other again right? Because my friends are her friends.

I asked my buddy (the Dj) what she thinks of the girl and he said " she's cute and doesnt have a bf. i canhelp you hook up with her " Well he's now on vacation so he cant really help me

Anyways, what I am thinking of now is to go out more with my friends (including her) but is that gonna make me in the "friend zone" ??

 

[HuuBinh]

i dont think u should ask her out 1v1 exclusively for a date, cuz that would be kinda awkward unless she likes you which doesn't matter. i'd suggest that you, your friends, and her keep hanging out, but i would increase a bit the attention and the level of kino to see how she responds and move from there.

 

[Dee-Zy]

First - Look at my signature

Second - read the following words in capital letters: YOU WORRY TOO MUCH.

YOU WANT a date!!! For cry'N out loud, YOU WANT HER!!! but you don't wanna go 1 on1 with her because she *gasp* might think it's a date??? DUDE!!! THAT'S WHAT U WANT HER TO KNOW!!!

about your friend hooking u up - NO. Are u a man or a boy? A man can help himself.

And lastly, why would it be awkward? you talk like u a DJ but doesn't really seem to be one. A DJ goes for what he wants. He wants a girl - he asks her out. She is not interested??? ok, life moves on for her as well as him. Because she rejected you that life suddenly stop'd??? No!? Well, then why would it be awkward? Just go on as if nothing happened. Hell, joke about the fact she rejected you in front of everybody - exagerate even, continue to show her you are bold and confident enough to be like

"I like you, I gave u a shot - we could've been a-mazing together but u screw'd up ... However I'm still interested in you but I have better things to do then to pursue you"

GHOST

 

[Jay26]

Just do it. Life's too short. You already like her anyway.

 

[Reto]

I agree. What's the worst that can happen if she says no. You'll vaprize? Die? You'll just move on...

Just keep hanging out with her and the friends, find a common interest, and go for it...

 

[DankNuggs]

Here is a legitimate plan for you, either $hit or get off the pot, you want to date her, or you want to be friends, its one or the other, get that striaght first.

Second, have you developed any rapport with her, is there any sexual tension, long glances, nervous smiles out of her. You have to do your homework before you jump into dating a core group of friends you hand out with (or are trying to hang out with).

If she seems reasonably interested, the next time your all out together, tell her you'd love to grab a beer or something low key for the two of you. Don't be ashamed, and don't worry about the political spin it would have on your friend dynamic.

You could have a buddy go up to her and ask her out for himself the next time you hang out, and all you would think was "damn, I should have had the balls to do that first."

Don't keep rationalizing reasons why you shouldn't do something.

 

[princelydeeds]

Getting groups togetehr is always complicated. If you can pull that off in short order try it since you sound too nervous to just talk to the chick. If you get her in the group, concentrate on her, talk deeply to her, be ****y funny and assertive put it out there that you are feelin her but then give half that attention to someone else. Be a flirt, let her know shes the first choice but put it out there that you will move on if she doesnt play the flirt game back with you. If she plays you so what, act like you couldnt care less. Act like you are the prize catch. PLay the C&F and sometimes you can turn it around

 

[thejuice]

Just tell her you want to hang out with "just her"...

Its not very blatant or too vague but it is sure to let her know what youre up to. Dont worry about being around her again. Thats where youre problem is...if you worry about it now, then its going to show when you talk to her. Just dont even give a crap dude

 

[Arctic_FoX]

I think the issue here is still rejection, the problem is simple:

IF YOU GET THE DATE: Congrats, you're hot, you're wired, and everything is a go-go.

IF YOU GET REJECTED: You don't get to see her again, but you want to, but if she rejects you, you're afraid that you'll never be able to look at each other in the eye again.

See? The issue here is still rejection.

If you want to get into a situation where you are not 1 v 1, you might want to go see a popular film, and get a load of your friends to go with you, pick her up as you go by, and see if she wants to go too...

 

[MattB]

Ok guys I will do it. I dont know if we have enough established enough rapport though, so this could be a problem. Actually when I talk to her I am not nervous at all. Cus in my mind she is just a "friend" so I dont really get nervous.

 

[KiInCollege]

You would have already approached her for a date if you were more confident that she liked you. My guess is when you're out with friends you're trying to play it too cool, not kinoing/flirting with the girl, and that you just admire her from a safe distance.

You have to use the situation to it's advantage. Since others are there, she is more disarmed, and while you can't be drilling into her mind like a 1 on 1 date, you can flirt with her and get some kind of indication that she likes you.

Now if I haven't given you enough credit and you've tried to put some moves on her while you guys were out, if she didn't reciprocate then forget about her. It will be too awkward if you try to press her with all the friends being involved.

Don't get your friends help and don't ask other friends - it's all on you. Gauge her interest with what tools you have. If you're confident that she likes you, or at least flirts back, then ask her on a date.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by Arctic_FoX
I think the issue here is still rejection, the problem is simple:

IF YOU GET THE DATE: Congrats, you're hot, you're wired, and everything is a go-go.

IF YOU GET REJECTED: You don't get to see her again, but you want to, but if she rejects you, you're afraid that you'll never be able to look at each other in the eye again.

See? The issue here is still rejection.

If you want to get into a situation where you are not 1 v 1, you might want to go see a popular film, and get a load of your friends to go with you, pick her up as you go by, and see if she wants to go too...

no no no

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by thejuice
Just tell her you want to hang out with "just her"...

Its not very blatant or too vague but it is sure to let her know what youre up to. Dont worry about being around her again. Thats where youre problem is...if you worry about it now, then its going to show when you talk to her. Just dont even give a crap dude

no no no

You don't want to 'Hang Out' you want to have a fuck'N date!!!

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by MattB
Ok guys I will do it. I dont know if we have enough established enough rapport though, so this could be a problem. Actually when I talk to her I am not nervous at all. Cus in my mind she is just a "friend" so I dont really get nervous.

NO NO NO!!!

She will only see u as a friend if u act like one. ASK HER OUT ON A DATE!!! A DATE!!! A ****ING DATE FOR CRY'N OUT LOUD. A date as in.

(hot girl name) Let's go play pool at (place's name) at 8:00PM sharp, NOT AS FRIEND.

Do it!!!! cmon' go!!!

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by DankNuggs
Here is a legitimate plan for you, either $hit or get off the pot, you want to date her, or you want to be friends, its one or the other, get that striaght first.

Second, have you developed any rapport with her, is there any sexual tension, long glances, nervous smiles out of her. You have to do your homework before you jump into dating a core group of friends you hand out with (or are trying to hang out with).

If she seems reasonably interested, the next time your all out together, tell her you'd love to grab a beer or something low key for the two of you. Don't be ashamed, and don't worry about the political spin it would have on your friend dynamic.

You could have a buddy go up to her and ask her out for himself the next time you hang out, and all you would think was "damn, I should have had the balls to do that first."

Don't keep rationalizing reasons why you shouldn't do something.

YES YES YES!!!

Did u read that??? read it again

Originally posted by DankNuggs
Here is a legitimate plan for you, either $hit or get off the pot, you want to date her, or you want to be friends, its one or the other, get that striaght first.

Second, have you developed any rapport with her, is there any sexual tension, long glances, nervous smiles out of her. You have to do your homework before you jump into dating a core group of friends you hand out with (or are trying to hang out with).

If she seems reasonably interested, the next time your all out together, tell her you'd love to grab a beer or something low key for the two of you. Don't be ashamed, and don't worry about the political spin it would have on your friend dynamic.

You could have a buddy go up to her and ask her out for himself the next time you hang out, and all you would think was "damn, I should have had the balls to do that first."

Don't keep rationalizing reasons why you shouldn't do something.

One more time

Originally posted by DankNuggs
Here is a legitimate plan for you, either $hit or get off the pot, you want to date her, or you want to be friends, its one or the other, get that striaght first.

Second, have you developed any rapport with her, is there any sexual tension, long glances, nervous smiles out of her. You have to do your homework before you jump into dating a core group of friends you hand out with (or are trying to hang out with).

If she seems reasonably interested, the next time your all out together, tell her you'd love to grab a beer or something low key for the two of you. Don't be ashamed, and don't worry about the political spin it would have on your friend dynamic.

You could have a buddy go up to her and ask her out for himself the next time you hang out, and all you would think was "damn, I should have had the balls to do that first."

Don't keep rationalizing reasons why you shouldn't do something.

last time

Originally posted by DankNuggs
Here is a legitimate plan for you, either $hit or get off the pot, you want to date her, or you want to be friends, its one or the other, get that striaght first.

Second, have you developed any rapport with her, is there any sexual tension, long glances, nervous smiles out of her. You have to do your homework before you jump into dating a core group of friends you hand out with (or are trying to hang out with).

If she seems reasonably interested, the next time your all out together, tell her you'd love to grab a beer or something low key for the two of you. Don't be ashamed, and don't worry about the political spin it would have on your friend dynamic.

You could have a buddy go up to her and ask her out for himself the next time you hang out, and all you would think was "damn, I should have had the balls to do that first."

Don't keep rationalizing reasons why you shouldn't do something.

Now go!!!! Do it!!!

 

[Phrozen]

Don't worry about asking her. The only way this situation is akward is if you stay AFC and keep hanging on to her as if someday she'll magically change her mind. You're attracted enough to want more then just friendship, so go for it if she turns you down move your attention somewhere else and just stay friends.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Your next post should be

hey guys, she just wanna be friends.

or hey guys - I got the date!!!

get it?

 

[xblitz44x]

You're nervous for a reason Matt. That's going to happen to every girl that you like. You can't TURN IT OFF. Nobody can decide to do that. Not even the best DJ. So the next best thing to do is just accept it, and be ready for it. You probably feel vulnerable in front of her, as if she can see through you, see everything that's fvcked up and weak in you. That happens for a reason. But realize that she CAN'T see that, and that she's just a person.

The same thing is happening for her. If she is attracted to you, she's attraching all types of perceptions to you. She's building you up in her mind, to where you are the perfect opposite of her weanesses. It's just how it works. When she's NOT attracted (and she rejects you) she is again, progjecting perceptions to you. IN that case, negative perceptions. So don't think of it as her rejecting 'you'...she's rejecting the person that she THINKS you are and that she created in her mind. It's not YOU at all! Just go in there and assume the attraction...from there make something happen. It's that easy

-Blitz

 

[MattB]

ok
fvk it I will go ask her out on a date. But I have a question.
Should I go out again with a bunch of friends again and gauge her IL before I make a move? I know this seems like hesitation, but I just want to make sure I have established enough rapport for this to work

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by Dee-Zy
no no no