Is it gonna be awkward if I get rejected?
- Thread starter MattB
- Start date
thejuice
Master Don Juan
Dee zy, hanging out is a date or not, depending on how you treat it while there. You fail to see that its a group of friends...the difference should be considered
So what youre saying dee zy is that he ask her out anyways? I disagree. If she were some other girl who wasnt part of the circle, then its ok. Thats why its usually not a good idea to ask girls out in class unless its towards the end of the semester. Its the same thing
Dating is all about risk. Take it when its worth it, and dont when its not. Of course, there are ways to minimize that risk and what i was talking about is one of those ways. The situation calls for less risk because its a social circle
The social circle is more important than risking it. Maybe you dont think so
-thejuice
So what youre saying dee zy is that he ask her out anyways? I disagree. If she were some other girl who wasnt part of the circle, then its ok. Thats why its usually not a good idea to ask girls out in class unless its towards the end of the semester. Its the same thing
Dating is all about risk. Take it when its worth it, and dont when its not. Of course, there are ways to minimize that risk and what i was talking about is one of those ways. The situation calls for less risk because its a social circle
The social circle is more important than risking it. Maybe you dont think so
-thejuice
Dee-Zy
Master Don Juan
Don't be offended, N don't take this personnally - but there are so many things from your statement that is wrong.
Yes there is a BIG difference between hang'N out and an actual date. Why because the whole purpose of date'N is to see how ROMANTICLY INTERESTED your target is. If she doesn't want to date you or if she arrives late, doesn't want to do what you want to do, cancels, reschedules all the time ect. then that means she's not interested.
Where as just 'hang'N out' - is not clear that it is a date. Now that is very important because the next thing u know u will hear a line like - "I just wanna be friends" or "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were just friends".
When u ask her out on a DATE, as in you two ALONE, ROMANTICLY, as in NOT AS FRIENDS. You strike all those problems out. No more thinking like "Am I just a friend or more?"
And last but not least? You're philosophy on risk is so weak. Please!!! The Bigger the Risk - the bigger the Gift. Keep that in mind. It has nothing to do with the social circle. So you are insterested in a girl - what? You're just gonna hide your intention/feelings and just 'hang out' with this chick until something just magically happends? That's just in the movies dude. You have to look further.
When u look at it right, there IS no risk - there is nothing to be scared of here, yet somehow u are able to point out something unimportant and make it so huge. Yes it's about risk, but no it's not always necessary to minimize that risk. The important thing is to minimize the chances of YOU get'N hurt. Furthermore, it is not by walking on eggshells and NOT take'N risks that u will eventually minize pain.
Look, there is no difference where as she is in the circle of friend or not. Everything has to do with one thing and one thing only. HIS INTEREST IN THIS GIRL. Nothing else matter, not even her interest because base solely on HIS own interest, he makes move. If she's not interested - so what? Her life will go on and so will his. If he does not act upon his desires he WILL be infatuating more and more as he gets to know her when he 'hangs out' with her as a sucker while he sees OTHER guys with actual BALLS who are acting upon THEIR desires fucking her brains out.
Now tell me, what is more of a risk? How would you minimize it now?
If she rejects him - it DOES NOT MATTER, because he is (or should anyways) be MAN enough to take it. Not be a boy and cry about it. It doesn't need to be awkward unless YOU make it so.
thejuice reads my first reply again.
Again, no offence - don't take it personnally. I just go mad when I hear others recommend to walk on eggshells.
Yes there is a BIG difference between hang'N out and an actual date. Why because the whole purpose of date'N is to see how ROMANTICLY INTERESTED your target is. If she doesn't want to date you or if she arrives late, doesn't want to do what you want to do, cancels, reschedules all the time ect. then that means she's not interested.
Where as just 'hang'N out' - is not clear that it is a date. Now that is very important because the next thing u know u will hear a line like - "I just wanna be friends" or "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were just friends".
When u ask her out on a DATE, as in you two ALONE, ROMANTICLY, as in NOT AS FRIENDS. You strike all those problems out. No more thinking like "Am I just a friend or more?"
And last but not least? You're philosophy on risk is so weak. Please!!! The Bigger the Risk - the bigger the Gift. Keep that in mind. It has nothing to do with the social circle. So you are insterested in a girl - what? You're just gonna hide your intention/feelings and just 'hang out' with this chick until something just magically happends? That's just in the movies dude. You have to look further.
When u look at it right, there IS no risk - there is nothing to be scared of here, yet somehow u are able to point out something unimportant and make it so huge. Yes it's about risk, but no it's not always necessary to minimize that risk. The important thing is to minimize the chances of YOU get'N hurt. Furthermore, it is not by walking on eggshells and NOT take'N risks that u will eventually minize pain.
Look, there is no difference where as she is in the circle of friend or not. Everything has to do with one thing and one thing only. HIS INTEREST IN THIS GIRL. Nothing else matter, not even her interest because base solely on HIS own interest, he makes move. If she's not interested - so what? Her life will go on and so will his. If he does not act upon his desires he WILL be infatuating more and more as he gets to know her when he 'hangs out' with her as a sucker while he sees OTHER guys with actual BALLS who are acting upon THEIR desires fucking her brains out.
Now tell me, what is more of a risk? How would you minimize it now?
If she rejects him - it DOES NOT MATTER, because he is (or should anyways) be MAN enough to take it. Not be a boy and cry about it. It doesn't need to be awkward unless YOU make it so.
thejuice reads my first reply again.
Again, no offence - don't take it personnally. I just go mad when I hear others recommend to walk on eggshells.
thejuice
Master Don Juan
Listen babe, its not about what you say. Its about what you do. Understand?
If you say its just hanging out, it wont be if you dont treat it like it. Suppose she thinks its just hanging out and wants to be friends...its not because thats what you said because she already made her decision. Whether or not you said thats its hanging out, she already made her mind up. The point is to find out right?
If shes already interested, it wont matter how you two spend time together. Shell be happy to spend time with you if shes interested...and will drop the hints and you follow on them. On the other hand, if she dosent, guess what? Yep, shes your friend
The whole risk thing is the initial question. The rest wont matter. If she says yes, shes either interested or not...but heres the trick - youre out with her to find out ayways
No offense dee - zy...but actions speak louder than words. "Lets hang out" does not mean you wont treat her like "hey, lets go on a date"
Dont criticize my philosophy. Its my priority...not philosophy. Bros over hos is not a philosophy
thejuice
If you say its just hanging out, it wont be if you dont treat it like it. Suppose she thinks its just hanging out and wants to be friends...its not because thats what you said because she already made her decision. Whether or not you said thats its hanging out, she already made her mind up. The point is to find out right?
If shes already interested, it wont matter how you two spend time together. Shell be happy to spend time with you if shes interested...and will drop the hints and you follow on them. On the other hand, if she dosent, guess what? Yep, shes your friend
The whole risk thing is the initial question. The rest wont matter. If she says yes, shes either interested or not...but heres the trick - youre out with her to find out ayways
No offense dee - zy...but actions speak louder than words. "Lets hang out" does not mean you wont treat her like "hey, lets go on a date"
Dont criticize my philosophy. Its my priority...not philosophy. Bros over hos is not a philosophy
thejuice
Dee-Zy
Master Don Juan
1) It's not even his circle of friends, it's a cirlce of friend of his friend
2) Him be'N direct with the girl does NOT challenge any friendship.
3) Actions DO speak louder then words, girls are the best at play'N the gray area. "Oh but, we were JUST hang'N out." WILL be what she will say if she's not interested. Where as if you are direct - there is NO WAY OUT for her.
thejuice
Master Don Juan
Im not sure what you mean by NO WAY OUT for her but i wouldnt want to force a girl into saying yes
Shell say yes and youll find out how much
Im not saying that theres anything wrong with being direct but in this case, my option is better
Shell say yes and youll find out how much
Im not saying that theres anything wrong with being direct but in this case, my option is better
The reason I said used the term "hanging out" is that a "date" carries too much pressure.
Anyways this issue is a trifle. I have a question though, so we r going out next week, havent decide on a specific date yet, but is next week for sure. Anyways, how do I tell how she sees me as? LIke a friend or something more?
I plan to hold her hand or something but i am not going for the kiss cus shes quite a conservative girl
Anyways this issue is a trifle. I have a question though, so we r going out next week, havent decide on a specific date yet, but is next week for sure. Anyways, how do I tell how she sees me as? LIke a friend or something more?
I plan to hold her hand or something but i am not going for the kiss cus shes quite a conservative girl
CyranoDeBergerac
Master Don Juan
Kino like a mofo. Its simple, gauge her body language:
comfortable/ pleasant/ dreamy eyes/ open posture= good
irritably uncomfortable/ curt/ distracted eyes/ closed posture= bad
Continue from there. Other than that, just make your goal for the night to have a great time, and relax already
Dee-Zy: Calm down Chicken Little, this ain't the end of the world.
-CyranoDeBergerac
comfortable/ pleasant/ dreamy eyes/ open posture= good
irritably uncomfortable/ curt/ distracted eyes/ closed posture= bad
Continue from there. Other than that, just make your goal for the night to have a great time, and relax already
Dee-Zy: Calm down Chicken Little, this ain't the end of the world.
-CyranoDeBergerac
CyranoDeBergerac
Master Don Juan
I've only logged on twice in the last week and have spent less than twenty minutes browsing through. No one here is hopeless as MattB will undoubtedly get his sh1t together, and I know that adjective isn't directed towards me.Originally posted by Dee-Zy
How many days have this been drag'd for now? You are hopeless. That's it for me - I'm out.
GHOST
I am glad to see that you've moved on however as that speaks well of you. Best of luck in life and love fellow DJs.
-CyranoDeBergerac
Men frequently err by talking too much. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're impressing the women when, in reality, they're depressing the women.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
update on da situation
So a buch of my friends (including her) went out today. I kinoed alot, subtle kino to be exact, and she seemed to respond well. Didnt touch me back though. However , I could tell that by the end of the day, she was more into me.
So a buch of my friends (including her) went out today. I kinoed alot, subtle kino to be exact, and she seemed to respond well. Didnt touch me back though. However , I could tell that by the end of the day, she was more into me.
Reading through all this I was reminded of one of the great dangers for the aspiring DJ in a group setting. It is called: "Who is the alpha male?"
I used to organise short trips to the mountains / seaside with some friends from the church I used to attend (all Christians), and of course, I was after a truly breathtaking babe among them all. However, I was aware of the danger of inviting one guy, for, although he was married to a very attractive girl, he always played the alpha male in any group situation. Always ****y, always funny, basically, he was the leader and so nobody else got much of a chance to be alpha male (short of slapping him, I suppose). So I made sure he & his wife were not invited on any trips I organised, which meant I ended up being the alpha male (without being a jerk in the process) and guess what? The gorgeous babe found herself drawn strangely close to me, and in the weeks after she developed a visible liking to me - her mother then invited me to call at the house to see this babe "any time" and that this babe "really liked me". I was doing well for a while until the minister found out - he once admitted he never wanted this babe to marry anyone, so he stepped in and everything died after that... this is why I no longer attend that church. But, returning to the main theme, MattB says his friend is an accomplished DJ, in which case I feel the most to gain from being in group setting with such a guy comes from observing his technique. Other than that, there is a real risk he will be the alpha male and poor Matt will never be at ease flirting with the girl he's after.
I used to organise short trips to the mountains / seaside with some friends from the church I used to attend (all Christians), and of course, I was after a truly breathtaking babe among them all. However, I was aware of the danger of inviting one guy, for, although he was married to a very attractive girl, he always played the alpha male in any group situation. Always ****y, always funny, basically, he was the leader and so nobody else got much of a chance to be alpha male (short of slapping him, I suppose). So I made sure he & his wife were not invited on any trips I organised, which meant I ended up being the alpha male (without being a jerk in the process) and guess what? The gorgeous babe found herself drawn strangely close to me, and in the weeks after she developed a visible liking to me - her mother then invited me to call at the house to see this babe "any time" and that this babe "really liked me". I was doing well for a while until the minister found out - he once admitted he never wanted this babe to marry anyone, so he stepped in and everything died after that... this is why I no longer attend that church. But, returning to the main theme, MattB says his friend is an accomplished DJ, in which case I feel the most to gain from being in group setting with such a guy comes from observing his technique. Other than that, there is a real risk he will be the alpha male and poor Matt will never be at ease flirting with the girl he's after.
Yes one of my friends is an accomplished natural DJ. Is good that right now he's on vacation. I think what really makes him a DJ is his charisma and confidence. I try my best to be liked him but have not succedded yet. Anyways my friend (the DJ) told me to go for her.
Apparently this 8-8.5 girl is really really popular. Almost every guy who has met her likes her. However my friend told me that she wnats a LTR and she just got out of two months ago. I am not suprised why so many guys like her, as she is funny and extremelly pretty. ( I would say celeb quality looks without makeup, havent seen her with makeup)
Anyways, the other males in my group are also hitting on her. One guy is very masculine, muscled up but he is kinda agressive in the way he uses his "hand" I guess excessive kino can be unwelcomed.
The other guy lacks confidence and strength,but is somewhat witty and talkative. He would probably not have the guys to ask her out so I dont think he's a major threat YET.
Anyways I am taking her out this week and see how things go.
Apparently this 8-8.5 girl is really really popular. Almost every guy who has met her likes her. However my friend told me that she wnats a LTR and she just got out of two months ago. I am not suprised why so many guys like her, as she is funny and extremelly pretty. ( I would say celeb quality looks without makeup, havent seen her with makeup)
Anyways, the other males in my group are also hitting on her.
One guy is very masculine, muscled up but he is kinda agressive in the way he uses his "hand" I guess excessive kino can be unwelcomed.The other guy lacks confidence and strength,but is somewhat witty and talkative. He would probably not have the guys to ask her out so I dont think he's a major threat YET.
Anyways I am taking her out this week and see how things go.