Is it ever appropriate to confront girls on flaky behavior?

[Knight of Roses]

Over the course of 24 months I’ve learned a lot, one lesson being is you can’t count on any woman to give you definite company. So nowadays, I usually run double bookings on date night. If one flakes, I got the other. If both confirms I usually cancel on the one I like the least.

I feel that is an appropriate red pill strategy to take advantage of abundance. But I’m curious, when the flakey girl comes back around, do any of you confront her on that behavior? Or act like it doesn’t matter and move on?

 

[Dr.Suave]

Be warned some member will be against this double booking thing. Last time I was single, when I was single booking, girls would flake sometimes.

At one point I said f0ck this and I started triple booking. Can you guess what happened? When I started triple booking no one would flake, I would go out with the hottest one and bail on the others. I kept this up a few weeks until I met someone I considered worthy of exclusivity.

Nowdays I feel its not worth it to confront flakey girls. If they had a legit reason for flaking but are really interested in you normally you can tell, even if they didnt know they were suppose to counter offer a new date. No need to confront them if you have abundance.

 

[Barrister]

You don't confront them over it - but you also don't just act like it doesn't matter. You subtly communicate to her through your actions and what you say that flakiness won't be tolerated. Many DJs advocate to inviting a flake straight to your place following her flake and if she balks then ghosting her. I think that is a sound strategy for weeding out low interest - but you can adopt a less harsh approach as well and invite her to X and if she balks or flakes then ghost her; it doesn't necessarily have to be your place.

The point is you don't expend energy on time wasters. If she flakes a second time she is history as far as you are concerned. Arguing with her/confronting her is expending energy on a time waster. Don't do it.

 

[Grounded eagle]

Over the course of 24 months I’ve learned a lot, one lesson being is you can’t count on any woman to give you definite company. So nowadays, I usually run double bookings on date night. If one flakes, I got the other. If both confirms I usually cancel on the one I like the least.

I feel that is an appropriate red pill strategy to take advantage of abundance. But I’m curious, when the flakey girl comes back around, do any of you confront her on that behavior? Or act like it doesn’t matter and move on?

Double booking is a perfect strategy. I want to start doing it. I wouldn’t recommend directly confronting the flakey girl about it though,and I agree with @Barrister .Show her that she’s messed up.There’s even a possibility that she knows she messed up and did it to see your reaction.If she doesn’t get the message,then ghost her and save yourself some time.

 

[spred]

Depends on the stage you are in. For the first two-three dates you can act like said above, double or triple book. If this happens after 5-6 dates is a sign of something deeper (lost attraction, testing), so I say confront and never tolerate flakey behavior after confronting. I mean confronting - asking why and saying is not acceptable, not arguing or giving ultimatums.

 

[derby1]

You don't confront them over it - but you also don't just act like it doesn't matter. You subtly communicate to her through your actions and what you say that flakiness won't be tolerated. Many DJs advocate to inviting a flake straight to your place following her flake and if she balks then ghosting her. I think that is a sound strategy for weeding out low interest - but you can adopt a less harsh approach as well and invite her to X and if she balks or flakes then ghost her; it doesn't necessarily have to be your place.

The point is you don't expend energy on time wasters. If she flakes a second time she is history as far as you are concerned. Arguing with her/confronting her is expending energy on a time waster. Don't do it.

I was speaking about this the other day to @DonJuanjr , Ive dropped the "be cool if you make it up to me" many times, and I think women would rather walk on hot coal than to make it up to a guy there not invested in

 

[EyeBRollin]

I don’t confront any women I am not exclusive with on anything. I just move onto the next. A women who flakes is dead to me. If she comes back around the only way I’d entertain it is if she comes straight to my house to fvck.

 

[Redwolf]

Double or triple booking is a good strategy. It's always good to have a second option.

I don't confront women typically but simply pull back when they act this way. I see flaking as a sign of disinterest and can be somewhat disrespectful depending on how she flakes.

I just remove my attention and give it to another woman who shows more appreciation for it and respects my time.

 

[RangerMIke]

Nope... I just delete the number and forget about her. Why call her out? She knows what she did, she's not fvcking stupid. When you don't call her anymore she'll know why you are doing that. Besides, if she flakes on you she doesn't care about your opinion anyway, so what makes any man think 'calling her out' will mean anything to her. She'll just think you are a weak @ss little whining b1tch. If she just 'forgot' then she really is stupid and you don't want her anyway.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Wow such geniuses.

In order to show that we are above ghosting and other things to which we disapprove… it is suggested that we double book and ghost someone.

This is certainly not going to perpetuate the problem is it.

 

[Toddz]

If a woman flakes, I do not confront and instead remain polite and courteous. I do leave it on them though to reschedule with me and if they don't then we never see each other again.

I never double or triple book plans with women on a single night. It's a poor strategy because I don't want to be canceling plans with potential prospects and turn into a flake myself.

If a woman flakes, I will find something else to do that evening or hit up one of my other plates to see if they're free. If there is nothing going on that night or one of my other plates isn't available, I'll stay home and read a book or watch a movie.

 

[Grounded eagle]

Wow such geniuses.

In order to show that we are above ghosting and other things to which we disapprove… We double book and ghost someone.

This is certainly not going to perpetuate the problem is it.

You’re not suggesting that girls will stop flaking if men do,are you?

 

[Black Widow Void]

You’re not suggesting that girls will stop flaking if men do,are you?

I’m suggesting that if we don’t like a behavior, then we shouldn’t emulate it. I’d rather feel like a man, than behave like a woman.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Nope... I just delete the number and forget about her. Why call her out? She knows what she did, she's not fvcking stupid. When you don't call her anymore she'll know why you are doing that. Besides, if she flakes on you she doesn't care about your opinion anyway, so what makes any man think 'calling her out' will mean anything to her. She'll just think you are a weak @ss little whining b1tch. If she just 'forgot' then she really is stupid and you don't want her anyway.

Amen

 

[Grounded eagle]

I’m suggesting that if we don’t like a behavior, then we shouldn’t emulate it. I’d rather feel like a man, than behave like a woman.

Fair enough. I still disagree though.I’d rather have a second option to be flexible with than sit at home on a Saturday night because I got flaked on.Don’t see how that’s feminine.Can’t keep your hands clean playing a dirty game.

 

[Barrister]

I’m suggesting that if we don’t like a behavior, then we shouldn’t emulate it. I’d rather feel like a man, than behave like a woman.

Normally I find myself on the same page as you - but I have to say I am little confused on what you are trying to get at. Personally, I think the double-booking thing is silly; but past that, I don't think anyone here was advocating to emulate women's behavior. Almost everyone was saying not to confront a woman over her flakiness and either "ghost" her (as in, no longer contact, not make a scene) after 1 or 2 flakes maximum. What exactly is feminine about that?

 

[Barrister]

Fair enough. I still disagree though.I’d rather have a second option to be flexible with than sit at home on a Saturday night because I got flaked on.Can’t keep your hands clean playing a dirty game.

Well, this is just a matter of personal preference, but I would never book a woman who has the potential to flake on my Saturday evening in the first place. That is a spot for either one of my top prospects (re: one who has almost zero chance to flake because we have already banged and things are going well) or some other social activity that has nothing to do with women - like hanging out with the guys. New 1st time dates that have a high propensity to flake shouldn't be scheduled for Saturday evenings IMO. That is your primetime. Plus, you automatically let these new prospects know you have nothing else going on if you schedule them then. Just my two cents.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Normally I find myself on the same page as you - but I have to say I am little confused on what you are trying to get at. Personally, I think the double-booking thing is silly; but past that, I don't think anyone here was advocating to emulate women's behavior. Almost everyone was saying not to confront a woman over her flakiness and either "ghost" her (as in, no longer contact, not make a scene) after 1 or 2 flakes maximum. What exactly is feminine about that?

There’s a lot of forum member advocacy about double booking dates. Although the concept sounds appealing, the potential result isn’t (or shouldn’t be).

In view of the above suggestion; If neither cancels, then we’ve either got to ghost one or last minute cancel one.

And while it’s easy to dismiss this as “well, girls do this too” … we aren’t girls, nor should we behave like them.

 

[Barrister]

@Barrister What's your opinion of my post?

1. I wouldn't have asked "how we looking?" I would have said something like "Wear something sexy tonight." Escalate tension while at the same time feeling her out for a confirming text back.

2. I would not have mentioned anything about "ghosting" directly to her. I would have just said "I'm super busy and can't make it to your work. Meet me for a drink at place X at Y time. You're buying." And left it.

 

[Grounded eagle]

Well, this is just a matter of personal preference, but I would never book a woman who has the potential to flake on my Saturday evening in the first place. That is a spot for either one of my top prospects (re: one who has almost zero chance to flake because we have already banged and things are going well) or some other social activity that has nothing to do with women - like hanging out with the guys. New 1st time dates that have a high propensity to flake shouldn't be scheduled for Saturday evenings IMO. That is your primetime. Plus, you automatically let these new prospects know you have nothing else going on if you schedule them then. Just my two cents.

I wouldn’t book a woman who has the potential to flake either,but hey,stuff happens sometimes.Sometimes the reasons for doing so are genuine,sometimes they’re not,most times we never know.

I do agree about the Saturdays,those are reserved for the top prospects,while I relegate the more lukewarm ones to Wednesdays and Thursdays.