Is it ever appropriate to confront girls on flaky behavior?

[Barrister]

There’s a lot of forum member advocacy about double booking dates. Although the concept sounds appealing, the potential result isn’t (or shouldn’t be).

In view of the above suggestion; If neither cancels, then we’ve either got to ghost one or last minute cancel one.

And while it’s easy to dismiss this as “well, girls do this too” … we aren’t girls, nor should we behave like them.

And I don't really disagree as to the double booking aspect. I think it's pretty silly - if you don't care enough about a woman that you are going to cancel for another, don't even book her in the first place. No reason to spend any time with her. I thought you were referencing the OPs actual question to the forum. My mistake.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I’m against double booking. It’s completely unnecessary if you have an actual life and it shows you are insecure af and possibly a narcissist. If a girl flakes on me, I can think of a million other things to do with my free time. By flake I mean anything over a hour, if it’s within a hour then you got stood up plain and simple.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I’m against double booking. It’s completely unnecessary if you have an actual life and it shows you are insecure af and possibly a narcissist. If a girl flakes on me, I can think of a million other things to do with my free time. By flake I mean anything over a hour, if it’s within a hour then you got stood up plain and simple.

Nah. Women triple book us. I always doubled or triple booked on first dates. The first one that hit me up the day of or night before to confirm the date was the one I decided to go on the date with. I value my time.

 

[Redwolf]

If a woman flakes, I do not confront and instead remain polite and courteous. I do leave it on them though to reschedule with me and if they don't then we never see each other again.

I never double or triple book plans with women on a single night. It's a poor strategy because I don't want to be canceling plans with potential prospects and turn into a flake myself.

If a woman flakes, I will find something else to do that evening or hit up one of my other plates to see if they're free. If there is nothing going on that night or one of my other plates isn't available, I'll stay home and read a book or watch a movie.

It's worked best for me if I ask the #1 option out to definite plans.

Option #2 I will let them know I might be free on this day and would like to see them but I leave it more open ended. So if #1 flakes I then make the offer to #2 with definite plans.

It sounds complicated but really it's not. It's simple and it works.

 

[BadBoy89]

Nope... I just delete the number and forget about her. Why call her out? She knows what she did, she's not fvcking stupid. When you don't call her anymore she'll know why you are doing that. Besides, if she flakes on you she doesn't care about your opinion anyway, so what makes any man think 'calling her out' will mean anything to her. She'll just think you are a weak @ss little whining b1tch. If she just 'forgot' then she really is stupid and you don't want her anyway.

True.

Yet if you don’t call her out, the consensus would be “this doesn’t is so dumb he doesn’t even know how to put a girl in her place.”

I mean, a hot 27 girl agrees to a date, you book the place, get dressed up, save money, slick your hair back, are all excited, and last minute she says “so sorry, it’s my best friends engagement party tomorrow, I totally forget. Maybe next time.”

And the guy doesn’t respond? I would go crazy on her. Not for missing sex, it’s for letting her know I’m not the idiot, the next guy is.

But to each his own.

 

[Redwolf]

I wouldn’t book a woman who has the potential to flake either,but hey,stuff happens sometimes.Sometimes the reasons for doing so are genuine,sometimes they’re not,most times we never know.

I do agree about the Saturdays,those are reserved for the top prospects,while I relegate the more lukewarm ones to Wednesdays and Thursdays.

Yes #1s get your weekend.

All others weekdays

 

[Redwolf]

True.

Yet if you don’t call her out, the consensus would be “this doesn’t is so dumb he doesn’t even know how to put a girl in her place.”

I mean, a hot 27 girl agrees to a date, you book the place, get dressed up, save money, slick your hair back, are all excited, and last minute she says “so sorry, it’s my best friends engagement party tomorrow, I totally forget. Maybe next time.”

And the guy doesn’t respond? I would go crazy on her. Not for missing sex, it’s for letting her know I’m not the idiot, the next guy is.

But to each his own.

In my opinion the best response is no response. Remove all attention from her. If shes lying to you she needs to lose access to you and your life.

 

[Redwolf]

1. I wouldn't have asked "how we looking?" I would have said something like "Wear something sexy tonight." Escalate tension while at the same time feeling her out for a confirming text back.

2. I would not have mentioned anything about "ghosting" directly to her. I would have just said "I'm super busy and can't make it to your work. Meet me for a drink at place X at Y time. You're buying." And left it.

I never text for confirmation. If I made definite plans with someone I keep them and I expect her to also.

Women will almost always message you ahead for confirmation if they plan on showing and I tell her just that. "If I made plans with you I will keep them".

 

[Redwolf]

Yeah I did too. Until I was sitting in my car, waiting for the chick to show up, while not yet realizing I got stood up. I'd rather get ghosted during confirmation, then go out of my way to the place expecting females to have honor/integrity with regards to dating...

A women would lose me if she didn't message me with some sort of excuse. No show is disrespect in my book. She wouldn't get another chance after that.

 

[Redwolf]

To be clear, that was a different woman. Not the one in the post where I asked barristers advice.

I understand. I feel it's important to draw a hard-line on things that are disrespectful. Not showing up when you said you would with no prior message or even a message after with an excuse is disrespectful of someone's time.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Nah. Women triple book us. I always doubled or triple booked on first dates. The first one that hit me up the day of or night before to confirm the date was the one I decided to go on the date with. I value my time.

Well I’d rather be a man and do man stuff then follow what women do lol

 

[EyeBRollin]

Well I’d rather be a man and do man stuff then follow what women do lol

like having your time wasted

 

[SoSuave666]

I never text for confirmation. If I made definite plans with someone I keep them and I expect her to also.

Women will almost always message you ahead for confirmation if they plan on showing and I tell her just that. "If I made plans with you I will keep them".

I don’t say that last bit, but I agree I never ever confirm. That’s because the place I chose I already have social proof and I can go by my damn self and have a good time if need be.

I also subscribe to double or triple booking. It’s simply the most efficient way. To answer the OP, I’ve done it both ways. The superior way is to not call them out. They have shown low interest, and low interest isn’t worth my time. Women know that they are flaking and that it’s disrespectful, they simply put just do not care. Good riddance.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

like having your time wasted

If a girl tells me she can’t make a planned date then I just find something else to do like go to the gym. Now if you’re talking about her standing you up then that’s not a flake and should be handled differently.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Wow such geniuses.

In order to show that we are above ghosting and other things to which we disapprove… it is suggested that we double book and ghost someone.

This is certainly not going to perpetuate the problem is it.

Double booking? Nah, Triple booking was the way to go haha.

Not my finest moment, I admit it. Unfortunately, it worked for me and it helped me a lot. The bright side is I only did it for a short time until I met my current gf.

But I can admit I was wrong. The answer shouldnt be booking multiple girls. It should possibly be about confidence, abundance, hiting the gym, eating better, increasing value, being a man etc.

 

[EyeBRollin]

But I can admit I was wrong. The answer shouldnt be booking multiple girls. It should possibly be about confidence, abundance, hiting the gym, eating better, increasing value, being a man etc.

No, you were 100% right. Fvck these hves.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

No, you were 100% right. Fvck these hves.

Why are you getting stood up so many times broski

 

[EyeBRollin]

Why are you getting stood up so many times broski

I got stood up often because I got laid often. This is like asking the top salesman why he gets rejected all the time.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I got stood up often because I got laid often. This is like asking the top salesman why he gets rejected all the time.

I’m in sales, they don’t get rejected all of the time. If they did then they would revise their strategy.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I’m in sales, they don’t get rejected all of the time. If they did then they would revise their strategy.

That’s cap.